Disclaimer: All Twilight related characters belong to S. Meyer.

A/N: Wow. Just…wow! You guys are amazing! I never EVER expected the response for the last chapter to be so amazing and positive. It seems you guys have been aching for a little drama? Hmm? I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond to everyone but trust me, all of your comments and support means so much!

A little clarification on the last chapter. From my personal experience with Giants baseball, players who aren't super famous like A-Rod (Yankees), don't have a lot of gossip or drama following them. If you don't specifically Google their personal lives, many times you won't know if they're married or not. *cries over the memory of finding out Buster Posey was married* Just wanted to clarify that. While Bella's not the MOST observant, she's definitely not completely at fault. Also, Sports Illustrated articles rarely focus on personal stuff, unless it's really relevant. An article about BBward and baseball probably wouldn't mention any sort of wifey. Just wanted to clarify that!

Lots of LUUUUUHVE and support to my betas Kerazy60 and Aussiegirl101 for reading my drivel and making it better. Also a love-filled shout out to Dom for listening to my random BBward thoughts late at night. Music updated on my playlist for those interested. Starts on track 42. *takes deep breath* Ok, here goes. Let's talk at the bottom…

Foul Territory

Chapter 20

I heard his footsteps follow me out the door but I didn't turn around. I refused to turn around. I had no idea how to put my anger and hurt into words without pushing Edward to the ground.

Like you could.

Shut up.

It was cold and windy outside and my hair whipped around my face in the periwinkle of twilight. Why did I always forget to bring a sweater?

"Bella!"

I didn't stop. I turned to my left as I stepped onto the sidewalk and began marching down the street, clutch pinned tightly between my elbow and my hip. I needed to get away. I couldn't think here.

I flinched as his fingertips closed around my wrist and I yanked it free. It went against my instincts to refuse him and I felt my heart tear in my chest as I pulled away.

Fuck.

"Don't touch me!" I hissed, whirling around to face him. "Just don't."

We stood facing each other on the sidewalk as cars sped by and sirens blared in the distance. His eyes were wide and shocked, his eyebrows were pinched in a concerned ark and his jaw was clenched tight. He looked terrified.

He should be terrified.

He sighed heavily and shoved his hands in his pocket. "Can I at least explain myself?"

My vision blurred with a deep red haze as he spoke. I was going to lose it. "Explain what exactly? How you lied again? How you left out this tiny bit of information that could have been explained with one sentence?"

Edward's mouth bobbed uselessly.

"Tell me it's Tanya," I demanded. I couldn't take someone else. I may actually vomit on the sidewalk if it was someone else.

His fists clenched. "Of course it's Tanya! You think…you think I'd do that to you?"

"What am I supposed to think, Edward? How am I to think anything is true now? It's not even the marriage that's hurting me. It's the lies."

His eyes tightened and he stepped forward again. The draw was automatic and I wanted nothing more than to bury myself in his embrace. Not because I wanted to forgive him but because there was no one else who could comfort me the way that he could. The realization brought tears to my eyes.

"We're separated. We're not married. We've been in the middle of a divorce for months."

I closed my eyes tight and shook my head. I don't want to hear this.

"I guess I should have expected this," I snapped, trying my best not to fall prey to my emotions.

Don't be weak.

"What?"

"You're a professional athlete after all. What was I to expect?"

That did it.

Edward's face darkened and he clenched his jaw, muscles pulsing. "That's not fair," he snarled.

"Isn't it?"

"No."

"Well that's what it feels like." I turned away and resumed walking down the street to where I could hail a cab.

"You know me better than that, Bella!" Edward yelled, still following me. I could hear his footsteps on the pavement. His voice was raised and harsh. My words had angered him.

I turned to face him and arched a brow. "You're going to pull that argument after this?" I asked, pointing back to Alice and Jasper's house. "Please."

Edward let out a deep breath and pressed his lips together.

"Just let me go." I was begging at this point.

Please.

"I can't."

This was so frustrating. I wanted to run away and cry and scream and be angry with him but he wanted so much to explain it to me. I chanted in my head to keep myself on task.

He lied. He lied. He lied. He lied.

"Please let me take you home," he begged, reached out for my hand. "We can talk on the way."

I shook my head quickly. "I can't talk about this right now."

He let out a frustrated sigh. "Bella, don't do this again. We need to talk about this."

"Fine. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about how you've been lying the whole time we've been together. Let's talk about how I'm supposed to rationalize my feelings right now when all I want to do is cry. For days."

Edward stared back at me, eyes wide.

"I don't want to talk right now Edward. You hurt me. You've ruined…everything. I can't believe you lied. Again."

When I finished it was quiet. Even the cars stopped driving by. Edward was staring down at his feet. I took a step back and he took a step forward.

There was a knot in my throat and I didn't trust my voice but I had to say it. "I'm asking you to leave me alone Edward. Don't call, don't text me and don't come to my house. I just…can't."

He started shaking his head, the tension in his face all but lost. "I can't do that Bella, you know I can't. I won't give up."

"I know," I said, voice barely above a whisper. "That's why I'm asking you."

Edward swallowed and stood up to his full height. Away from me.

"Please stay away."

"Why?"

I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, willing myself not to cry. "Because I don't trust you anymore."

"Bella, I have no more secrets. I don't know why I didn't tell you we were in the midst of a divorce, I just thought if I waited until it was over-"

"It doesn't matter Edward."

He reached for me and I stepped away from his hands. He was too quick and he held my upper arms tightly, keeping me with him. The warmth from his fingers sunk deep into my skin like hot iron. I winced. "It does matter Bella. I would never intentionally do something to hurt you-"

"Well that didn't work out very well, did it?" The anger in my voice frightened me.

"Will you at least let me finish?"

"I don't care Edward. I want to leave. Let me go and don't follow me."

I do care. I care so much.

"Bella, you know I love you," he begged, squeezing my arms.

I loved him so much it hurt. My insides ached, like I'd been torn apart and turned inside out. The cool wind on the street licked my wounds and I longed to curl into a ball to block it out. I wanted to nod and say that I knew and I wanted to tell him that I loved him too but I couldn't.

I didn't know. I didn't know anything anymore.

Was this love? Was love made of lies? I refused to believe that it was.

Edward stepped closer. I could feel the tip of his nose on my forehead. My heart responded naturally and thumped loudly in my chest. It hurt even more as it rammed against my ribcage over and over. I leaned into him slightly, shivering as he pressed his lips to my temple.

"You know I love you," he repeated, his voice a whisper on my skin.

"Do you?" I replied, my voice a mere breath in the wind. That would hurt.

Good.

Edward flinched and I heard a gasp leave his lips against my forehead.

Back up Bella. Go now or you never will.

My lip was trembling as I took a step back. His hold on me was strong but I persisted and he stretched out his arms to follow me. I took a deep breath.

Do it now.

"Please don't," I whispered.

I heard and felt Edward take a quick breath and exhale. "You're just going to walk away?"

"Yes."

"Then what?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head. I couldn't look at him. "I don't know."

"What does that mean?"

Two tears escaped over my lashes and tumbled down my cheeks. "It means I don't know, Edward. I need you to let me figure it out."

His grip released on my arms and I felt the pad of each finger as it left my skin. He took a step back and gestured with his chin to the street corner. "Then go," he said. His voice was low and even and it cut through my heart like a shard of ice.

I turned without a word and continued my walk to the corner of the street. It took only two steps before the sob left my lips. I covered my face with my hands and ran the rest of the way. When I finally got a cab, I turned briefly to look back at Alice's house. Edward was still standing on the sidewalk watching me. His hands were in his pockets and the breeze ruffled his copper hair.

It reminded me of our first date, except this time the situation was opposite.

I dropped into the taxi and cried the rest of the way home.

When I finally made it back to my apartment, I was a wet, sobbing mess. I hated that I was still wearing the beautiful cocktail dress and ruining it with my blotchy cheeks, running makeup, ratty hair and scuffed shoes. Mostly I hated that it was Alice Cullen's dress and I didn't know how I would ever get it back to her.

Alice lied too. Was I supposed to shut her out as well?

And Rose? What was I to make of Rose? Was she a bitch for telling me, or was she the only one who had enough guts to tell me the truth? Her delivery had been malicious, but how else would I have known?

Screw them all.

I ran a hand under my nose and sniffed loudly before shoving the key in the lock. I unlocked the door and practically fell inside.

Jake ran over wagging his tail and I scooped him up at once, burying my face in his fur.

"Oh Jake," I sobbed, holding him tight to my chest.

Jake knew how to handle situations like these. He was my favorite pillow to cry in and also the sweetest. He did what he always did and he shoved his nose in the space between my jaw and my ear. It was cold like an ice cube but it was comfort. I sunk to my knees with Jake still in my arms and cried heavily into his neck.

I heard footsteps rush from down the hall. "Bella?" Angela's voice was panicked. "Oh my God, Bella? What's wrong?"

She was at my side at once, one hand on my shoulder and the other brushing my tear soaked hair out of my face. I sucked in a hiccupping breath. "He's married," I managed before I lost myself in sobs once more.

"What? Edward? Married?"

I nodded.

She tugged on my arm gently and lifted me to my feet. Jake stayed still in my arms, panting against my neck. "Come on," she said, leading me towards my room. "You don't have to talk now, let's get you calmed down."

I sunk down on my bed and curled into a ball. Jake wriggled from my vice grip and lay down behind me, stretching his body out against my back. The warmth of his little body engulfed me like the sun and I took deep calming breaths.

Angela had retreated to the kitchen and I heard the sound of the teakettle rattling around. My phone buzzed from the inside of my clutch.

Fuck.

Curiosity was a cruel bastard.

I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen of my phone.

Please tell me you made it home.

That was from earlier. There was another.

Please, Bella.

Tears fell from the corner of my eyes onto the bedspread. This was going to be hard. Staying away. I didn't know that I could do it.

I had to do it.

Angela returned a few minutes later with two mugs of tea and a blanket. As she draped the afghan over my legs my phone buzzed again. I glanced at it.

Dammit Bella.

Angela was watching me. "He's asking if you made it home, isn't he?"

I nodded.

"Are you going to answer?"

Was I? I felt like 'clean break' was an appropriate phrase for the moment. I told him not to contact me. I needed to think. "No," I answered finally, shocked at the deep scratchy sound of my voice. "I told him to leave me alone."

Angela was chewing on the side of her cheek. "Can I tell him you made it home?"

Why were my friends so nice? Why was Edward so nice? It made this a lot harder.

I shook my head. "He's going to have to get used to it."

I heard her sigh from the end of my bed but she rubbed a comforting hand on my leg. "Just let me know when you want to talk about it."

I nodded and watched, unthinkingly, as she moved her hand over the brightly colored afghan draped over me. Her nail polish was chipped and she had a bandage on one finger but there was something else.

Something sparkly.

And diamondy.

And on her left hand.

I sat up at once and snatched her hand between my own. Jake leapt off the bed, startled and trotted out of the room. Angela was biting her lip.

"Ang! What's this?"

"Um…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I gathered her into a hug and held her tight.

"You were upset and I was going to wait until you were okay-"

"You're engaged!" I pulled back and wiped my eyes. "Ang…you're getting married!" The momentary joy took over my broken heart and I basked in the happiness of Angela's news. "Tell me everything!"

She shook her head. "Bad news first, always. I won't tell you until after you've told me."

Crap.

I told her the story and I managed to stay composed enough not to cry all the way through. She was holding my hand when I was done.

"You never asked him?"

I shook my head sadly. "I asked him every other question under the sun. I didn't think…I didn't assume…" I let out a sigh. "I mean he wasn't wearing a ring so I didn't think that it was an issue."

"Wasn't there ever anything online about it?"

I hung my head. "I looked at pictures the first night we met. I skipped right over the search results. Even the Sports Illustrated article wasn't about his personal life. It was about his game, about the Giants. I could have looked, but I didn't." I sighed heavily.

You're such a goddamned idiot.

This was all so fucked up.

"I can't believe it," she said, letting out a breath. "Edward?"

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

That was the question, wasn't it? What was I going to do?

"I just can't believe he kept something like that secret. I knew everything else; it wasn't like it was a scandalous story. It's such a huge part of his life, and I was completely oblivious. No wonder the people at the benefit kept asking about her. What did they think I was? I looked like a common whore."

Angela hissed. "Bella, don't you dare. You know that's not what they thought."

"They could have," I countered with a shrug. "He's put me in that position. It's not about the marriage or divorce or whatever it is. It's about the trust. We've talked so much about being honest and trusting each other while he's away. How am I to believe anything now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess you'll just have to take time to figure it out."

I nodded sadly, reality sinking in deep once more. Time. How much time? Time enough until was strong enough not to want him with me always? Would that ever happen? I felt like it wouldn't. I would never want anyone more than I wanted Edward.

"I told him not to call or come here," I said. "But he probably will."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," Angela answered without hesitation. She offered me a comforting smile. "He'll have to go through me first."

Of course Edward didn't stay away. In fact, he did the opposite. I debated changing my number to stop my phone from buzzing but secretly my stomach flipped every time I knew that he sent a message or left me a voicemail. I stopped reading them eventually, unable to deal with the guilt and temptation. He was sorry. I got that.

I still wasn't ready.

There were knocks on the door in the evenings after day games. When Angela was home, she would answer. When I was alone, I'd let Jake bark at the door. He knew very well who was behind it.

Good boy.

After two weeks of wallowing, Angela refused to let me continue. She was a good friend. She kept me distracted and fed. I hadn't cooked in weeks. We talked about her wedding and her engagement and made fake plans until I was distracted enough not to worry about Edward.

I threw myself into work and worked harder than I had before. There were events lined up every weekend and I was attending all of them. Part of me was waiting for Edward to show up at the library but he never came. I knew he wouldn't come. It wasn't about cornering me; it was about me willingly talking to him.

Sometimes on my way to work I would see a flash of copper and my heart would clench. When I turned to look it was usually a homeless man on the corner with a burnt orange skullcap or a student with a bronze colored backpack. Still, sometimes I could feel something and I found myself wondering if maybe he was around, waiting for me to acknowledge the obvious tie between us and talk to him in person.

I never saw him. After a while I stopped feeling him. I pinned it to my imagination.

I didn't watch baseball on the television anymore. It didn't make sense to. I would only be torturing myself. I could still hear it when Angela watched from the other room. The Giants were doing well. Really well.

Edward was not.

Serves him right.

Sixteen days after Alice's party there was another knock on the door. Angela had just made it back to the apartment after work and was rummaging around the kitchen for chips and salsa. I was making nacho sauce on the stove. I froze and let the wooden spoon fall against the side of the pan with a clack.

Angela turned to look at me. "I'll answer it. Do you want to…" she looked towards my room but I backed into the corner of the kitchen and shook my head.

"I'll stay. Just don't let him in."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll try hard not to."

Jake was barking at the door again and I reminded myself to give him another treat after this was over. Angela nudged him out of the way and opened the door. It blocked my view and I stared unblinkingly at the wood. He was right behind that.

Fuck.

"Hi Edward," she said in a level voice.

"Hi."

"You know she won't answer the door."

"I know."

Her hand was twisting on the doorknob. "Then why do you keep coming?"

"There's a fifty-fifty chance that she will."

Romantic bastard.

"Edward, she asked you to stop."

"I know."

"Why don't you?" Angela's voice was tight.

"Do you really have to ask that?"

I heard Angela sigh. "I don't know what to tell you, Edward. She needs time. It would help more if you'd give that to her."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Hey," I heard him say. His voice sent a shiver down my spine and I wrapped my arms around myself.

"What?"

"He finally asked, didn't he?"

He must have seen her ring. Kind fucking bastard.

"Yeah."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks Edward."

Silence again. I wished I could see through the door. Just one look.

No.

"I won't come back," he said finally and I saw the shadows shift as he stepped back from the doorframe.

"That's probably best."

"Just…tell her something?"

My heart was pounding. I'm right here. I'm right here. Angela didn't answer and I hoped that he knew it was because I was listening.

"Tell Bella that there's no one else. There never will be. I'll wait…forever…if I have to. Will you tell her?"

Tears were falling down my face.

"I don't have to."

I heard him gasp as Angela started closing the door. "Goodbye Edward."

She closed it the rest of the way and locked it slowly. It was a moment before she turned around to meet my eyes. She was wearing a look of utmost sympathy.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head. No. I would never be okay until this was fixed. Whatever it was.

If it could be fixed.

The cheese sauce was bubbling and ruined. I turned off the stove, scooped Jake in my arms and retreated into my room.

Fuck this. I'm wallowing.

A/N: How's she doing? Holding up okay, yeah? I'd wallow too if BBward came to my door and begged. Some boys…they just can't get it right it's so annoying. ;) Next update, next week at the normal time, Sunday. Bella's got a little bit more mental housekeeping before BBward can grovel his way back. Hold your horses. :)

Don't forget to check out Aussiegirl101's fanfiction We Are Dealt. Truly a fantastic, unique love story. I'm a little obsessed. Also, my friend deb24601 recently completed her story, 1929. Be sure to check it out! She put so much research and detail into her historical fic. It's wonderful!

I look forward to hearing all your thoughts on the chapters. Bon weekend! Also, today (4/8/11) is the San Francisco Giants 2011 home opening game! GOOOO GIANTS!