I know this chapter is really short, but I'm going to update again in a couple of hours so I hope that compensates for it :)

Richelle Mead kindly lets me play with her characters

This one is for Adena Von Kessel because she liked the bit about Dimitri being a tree hehe XD

Roses POV

'Because I couldn't cope with it …' I trailed off pathetically; Dimitri cocked an eyebrow at me, again, Damn him again.

'Cope with what Rose?' Anxiety laced his expression and his silk and honey voice; I looked down so I was staring at his knees and I whispered in a voice so small that he made me repeat it

'The pain'

I wasn't looking at him so I couldn't see his face. I couldn't stand the pity that I knew I would see in his eyes. Maybe there would even be accusation and disappointment which would be worse than any amount of anger.

'Why do you hurt?' but I just shook my head. I couldn't tell him unless he forced me, and I wanted him to force me. I wanted him to find out what Jesse, Andrew and Ralf did to me and I want him to comfort me and then go crazy Russian on their asses.

But because he was Dimitri, and because I knew Dimitri, I also knew that he wouldn't, because he knew me, he knew that normally I would never admit if something hurt me.

So this had to be big.

'Roza, please, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong with you.'

No.

Wrong answer.

He was taking the soft and gentle approach. Which I loved; don't get me wrong, but it wouldn't get me to tell.

Even though he was practically begging me and he was literally on his knees, asking me to tell him what was the matter.

But I couldn't form the words.

I work best under pressure.

'That's the point Comrade' I said, grinning at him

Whereas inside, I was dying.

The pain came back. More intense than ever. My fingers twitched for the release I needed, for the feel of the blade on my skin. Instead, they brushed Dimitri's calloused palm.

'Rose!'

I focused again,

'What?'

'Tell me.'

I shook my head again

'I'm handling it' I said testily

'By trying to kill yourself?' Ahh; there was that lovely Russian anger

'I wasn't!' I said

'That's what Vasilisa said! But she nearly died didn't she!'

I flinched.

That was low.

He visibly mastered himself

'I'm sorry Rose. I'm just … when I walked in and saw you on the floor …' He shut his eyes, as if he were remembering something that caused him intense pain.

Bugger. Back to the soft approach.

I sighed.

'Well, we are both fine now.' I said, averting my eyes.

'No Rose, you aren't.' He said softly 'Why won't you tell me?'

Why won't he get angry at me? Why does he have to be so bloody reasonable? Why can't he make me tell him like I need him to? How can't he already know?

'Because maybe I don't want to talk about it alright? And maybe I just CAN'T!' I yelled at him.

I stood up and jerked my hands away. I had to get out of here, I can't torture myself any more with thinking that he was about to get it out of me and then he would keep his bloody self control.

I ran. Out the door, down the hall, across campus. I was in the trees before I could stop to think about it.

I knew he was following me. I knew he wouldn't let me get away this time. I knew he was desperate.

But so was I.

My breathing quickened, and not because of the running; I couldn't stay here, in these trees where things hid and where secrets are buried.

And I couldn't go to the cabin because that was too obvious.

He knew too much about me to go anywhere that I usually went when I was upset or trying to hide something.

So I ran to the river. A place that I liked, hidden away, and the bridge that arched over it.

I hadn't told anyone about it. It had never seemed important. I hadn't been there since before me and Lissa left the Academy and I'd forgotten about it.

Until now.

So there you go... I suppose I could've merged the chapters together to make a longer one but I don't think it would've worked so well

Keep reviewing people :D

Love you all

Tibbins xx