Thanks for all of your support. Going back to school is hard and I haven't found time to write until now. I actually didn't open my laptop for three days, which is a record for me.

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer, nor will I ever be.

Edward's POV

I stayed with Bella all night, watching her sleep. I lay next to her on the small bed, thinking. It seemed like I was doing a lot of that lately.

Was being around me really the best thing for Bella? Could I really protect her from her father?

I knew that it was wrong to let her be around me without letting her know what I was. But if I told her, she would surely run away screaming. There was no way she would want to be around me anymore. And I would have to let her go. Because it was the right thing to do, it would be safe for her. But then I would not be there if she needed me.

But how could she need a monster like me? I was wrong for her in ever sense of the word. Except that when I held her in my arms like I was now, right and wrong flew out the window. I could care less about morality when she was around me.

All I wanted was to tell her everything would be alright. But I knew that I couldn't, not when everything between us was so messed up. I wanted to sweep her off her feet, be her Prince Charming. And I was the exact opposite of everything she needed.

What she really needed was a nice human man, someone who would see her for the treasure she was, to come and take her away. I could see it all play out in my head. Bella meeting this faceless man, them falling in love, her confessing her secrets because she truly wanted to, him accepting every last one of them. They would run away, get married, have children.

The thoughts were enough to cause me physical pain. It felt as if my heart was on fire. This was worse than the venom burning through my veins as I transformed.

I didn't want her to be with anyone else. I wanted to be the one to give her everything she needed. The happy, human life. But I couldn't, because of what I was. I would never be enough to deserve her.

But she wanted to be with me anyway. Maybe not in the same way I wanted her. Of course not, how could a human fell something this extreme? This all consuming force, something so intense would crush her fragile human state.

And she wouldn't want me if she knew I was a vampire. Or would she? Could she possibly accept me for what I was?

No, that was impossible. But I couldn't help hoping that maybe . . .

But I couldn't allow myself to think that way. Anyway, I would never have a chance to find out, because Bella would never know about me.

It would be best for her if I stayed until she was safe. Then I would leave and she would forget all about me. Bella would find her human match and live the happily ever after that an angel like her deserved.

This brought up a whole new round of questions, many of which I was afraid to answer. Would I be strong enough to leave her when the time came? Could I let her have the life she needed? Would I ever move on?

I knew that without Bella, there would never be happiness for me. She was my whole world and it would kill me to let her go. I would never move on but she would. Her human mind could forget all about me, while I would wallow in misery for the rest of my pathetic existence. I would never forget, but I could go on with simply knowing that she was out there somewhere, happy and safe. And when her life ended, mine would also.

But I didn't want that future. I wanted to keep her all to myself, no matter how bad for her I was. I was selfish. I was a monster. I didn't deserve her. But I was weak, I wanted her, needed her. And I also wanted what was best for her.

I groaned out loud and buried my face in Bella's hair. Never had this existence been so confusing. Her sweet siren scent filled me, overpowering my senses. It burned the back of my throat and venom pooled in my mouth. This served as a reminder of how different our worlds were. Two people like us didn't belong together.

"Edward," Bella mumbled my name in her sleep. She rolled over onto her other side so that our chests were pressed together. She sighed gently and said my name again.

"I'm here, Bella," I spoke quietly. She probably couldn't hear me anyway. A small smile appeared on her face.

"Don't leave me," she pleaded. If I had not been able to hear slow, steady heart beat, I would have thought she was awake. She spoke so clearly.

"I promise," and it was the truth. I would not leave her now, she needed me and I needed her. When had I ever let rules stop me before? I was going to savor my time with her, make the most of it. I wasn't going to waste it worrying about the if's, and's, or but's. Not yet.

Bella's POV

I felt very cold. It was freezing. What was wrong?

My eyelids fluttered open and I came face-to-face with a pair of stunning golden eyes. I gasped at how close Edward and I were, I wasn't expecting it. I pulled back quickly, putting some distance between us before I could do something really, really stupid. But Edward's arm was around my waist so I could only move so far away.

"Morning, sleepy-head." He said in that perfect, velvety voice.

I tore my eyes unwillingly away from his face for a second to glance out the window. It was cloudy outside. I could not tell what time it was.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked.

"Hmm . . . about twelve hours. It's actually closer to afternoon than morning." Edward had a dazzling smile on his face, he looked stunning as usual. That made me wonder how horrible I looked right now. I blushed deeply.

Edward chuckled at me, only making me turn redder. "What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing," I muttered. Then I changed the subject before he could dazzle the answer out of me, "I'm sorry I slept for so long."

"Nonsense, you needed it."

"Yes, but you've just been laying here. It must have been boring for you." I replied.

"Not really," I could hear the laughter behind his words. "You're quite entertaining, actually."

I eyed him suspiciously, "what do you mean?"

"You talk in your sleep," he said matter-o-factly.

"No," I said in horrified disbelief, blushing furiously. What could I have said?

"Yes," Edward smiled happily.

"What did I say?" I asked hesitantly, not really sure if I wanted to know.

"Nothing, really," he answered, not meeting my gaze.

I groaned, "That bad?"

"Oh, no, nothing bad." Edward said, but the expression on his face told me differently.

"Tell me." I ordered.

"You did say my name . . ." he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

"A lot?" I guessed.

"Sort of," he was still smiling.

I groaned again out of embarrassment, hiding my face in my pillow. Could this be anymore mortifying? He had to have guessed that I liked him way more than I should.

"Bella," he made my name sounded like sweet music. I felt his cold hand under my chin, he brought my face up. We looked into each other's eyes of a long time. I could see every emotion that those deep golden orbs held. And I let him see me. Just sitting there like that we understood everything. For one second everything we both felt was crystal clear. We said with our eyes everything that we couldn't put into words.

Then my stomach growled and the moment was lost.

Edward laughed at me lightly, and hopped up from my bed. I stretched my arms over my head and stood up to join him.

We walked down stairs side-by-side. Once, Edward's fingers brushed against mine and I blushed again. He pretended not to notice, but I could see the way his eyes lit up when we touched.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked casually. I jumped up so that I was sitting on the kitchen counter and Edward leaned against the table.

"Hmm," he said, looking lost in thought. "Is there anything in particular you need to do?"

"Well, I should go grocery shopping sometime soon. But it can wait."

"Good," he said fervently. "There's a place I want to show you."

"Where is it?" I was curious. There wasn't really anything interesting in Forks.

"It's a surprise." Edward said cryptically.

"But I hate surprises." I whined at him like a two year old.

He laughed at my childishness and I had to join in. It had been forever since I had felt this giddy.

"I'll run home to get dressed and eat, then I'll come back and get you."

"Do you have to go?" I put on my best impression of Alice's pout.

He chuckled at my failure, then sighed and said, "I wish I didn't." The way he spoke made my heart flutter. "I'll be back as quickly as possible."

"'Kay," my voice was weak. He sounded like he really didn't want to leave me.

Once Edward was gone, I threw a couple pieces of bread in the toaster then hurried upstairs.

I began tearing through my meager supply of clothes, muttering to myself.

"No, I can't wear that." I tossed the old ratty t-shirt into the corner of my room. Why didn't I ever pay attention to my lack of decent clothing before now? Oh, right, because before Edward, I didn't have a reason to look nice at all.

I groaned out loud, chucking clothes in every direction.

I started to feel rather silly. Why did it matter how I looked? It's not like Edward could ever be interested in me in that way. I was a wreck.

But I still wanted to look as decent and put together as possible. To not look like I was falling apart at the seams.

Where was Alice when you needed her?

From downstairs, there came a quiet 'ding' from the toaster. "Ugh," I said, dropping the jeans with a hole in one knee on the floor.

I tried to rush down the stairs but I stumbled, of course, and had to steady myself on the railing. I was more careful after that.

I buttered my toast eagerly, and was about to take a huge bite when I heard a light tap on the door. My heart jumped, Edward couldn't be back already, could he?

No, it had only been about five minutes since he left. I made my way to the door and opened it uncertainly.

Alice stood on my front porch, holding two large bags in her hand and grinning from ear to ear.

"Alice?"

"No," she replied sarcastically. "It's the Bogey-Man. Now are you going to let me in or not?"

I stood aside for her and asked, "But shouldn't you be at school?"

"It's lunch."

"How did you get here?"

"Jasper dropped me off, he's sitting outside." Jasper was one of the two Cullens that I had never officially met. I was under the impression that he and Rosalie didn't like me very much.

"What—" I stated, but Alice cut me off.

"Are we going to stand here and play twenty questions, or are we going to get you all dolled up for your date with Edward?"

"Alice, it's not a date." My face was burning.

She eyed me skeptically, "Mm hmm, sure, because he's not taking you somewhere special? All aloooonne."

"You know it's not like that between us." I sighed internally, wishing it could be.

"Yet," she said firmly.

Before I could contradict her, Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs. She laughed lightheartedly upon seeing the state of my room. "You really are hopeless, aren't you?"

"Yes," I said pathetically.

"Here," she handed me on of her bags. "Go take a shower and put these on. Then come back in here so I can do your hair and makeup."

"Sure," I retreated to the bathroom, but I was distracted by my grumbling stomach. I raced back to the kitchen, scarfing down my toast before I made it to the bathroom.

I turned on the water and stripped down, not taking time to examine my body. Then I hopped into the hot water, letting it relax me. I didn't have much time, so I hurried to towel off.

I examined the clothes Alice had given me and was surprised to find that I liked them. There was a pair of jeans that probably cost much more than they were worth, and a plaid wool coat. I also had a thin white sweater to go under the coat.

Once I was dressed, I returned to my room to see Alice. In that short amount of time, she had cleaned up my mess and set up a huge selection of cosmetics on my desk. Don't ask me how she did it so quickly.

She pushed me down into my chair without a word, and set to work immediately. Alice kept it simple, thankfully. My makeup was natural and my hair fell down my back in gentle waves.

"Edward's back," as she spoke, she was putting the finishing touches on my face.

"How do you know?"

But before she could answer there was a swift knock on the door.

"Never doubt me," Alice said smugly.

I sprinted down the stairs, Alice on my tail, anxious to see Edward again.

"Hey," I breathed as I opened the door.

"Bella," he said softly, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. I blushed lightly when his fingers touched my skin.

"Aww, you two are so sweet." Alice sounded like she was mocking us, but I could tell that she really meant it. "Now, shoo!" She waved us out the door ahead of her. Edward and I laughed at his tiny sister.

Jasper was sitting on the driver's side of a bright red BMW. He raised a hand and smiled kindly in greeting and I smiled back. At least he didn't seem to hate me. Alice hopped into his car gracefully and Edward opened the door of his Volvo for me. I got in the car and he closed the door behind me, getting into his seat.

Both cars pulled out of the driveway and we turned in opposite directions, Alice and Jasper heading back to school, Edward and I to an unknown location.

"You really aren't going to tell me where we're going?" I tried that pout thing again.

He chuckled at me. "You'll know soon."

"But, Ed-ward," I whined.

"Soon," He said, and I knew that I wasn't going to win.

We sat in silence for a moment, Edward was still smiling.

"You're in a good mood this morning," I observed.

"Yes,"

"Care to elaborate?" I was frustrated. "I've never seen you laugh this much."

"I decided that I was just going to enjoy this week as much as possible. I'm not going to worry about anything until I have to."

"Hmm," I sighed. "That sounds nice. I know Charlie's going to get out of the hospital eventually, but until then, I would really like to just have fun."

"Then that's exactly what we shall do."

We drove for a while in comfortable silence. Edward turned onto a bumpy dirt road, and came to a stop when it ended.

I stared at him questioningly as he got out of the car. He opened my door and reached out a hand to help me up. I took it shyly, unsure of how to react to such a casual touch. His skin felt so good against mine that I almost didn't let go.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I was nervous now. There was nothing here but a bunch of trees.

"This way." He said, leading me into the forest.

"Umm, Edward," I hesitated. "Are you sure that we'll be able to get back?"

"Silly, Bella," he smile at me. "I know where I'm going."

"But— oh!" Edward pulled me swiftly into his arms when I began to protest.

It was rather odd, being carried through the forest with no idea where I was. Slightly thrilling. Edward walked gracefully, never stumbling like would have. I simply relaxed and enjoyed the fresh air.

"Close your eyes," he demanded after a while.

I snapped them shut obediently. I felt myself being set on a flat piece of ground. Edward remained behind me with his arms around my waist to help me keep my balance.

"Open,"

I gasped as I took in the scene around me. We were in a small perfect meadow. The sun wasn't out but everything seemed to sparkle. It was something that came straight from a fairy tale.

"Wow," I whispered, at a loss for words. "It's beautiful."

Edward murmured his agreement, "Mmm, I like to come here when I want to be alone. Nobody else knows where it is. I thought you would appreciate it."

"Wow," I breathed again, this time out of amazement at his words. He had chosen to share his secret place with me. Me, of all people.

I turned around in his arms so that I was facing him. I looked up into his eyes for a long moment.

I don't know what exactly I saw there, but something in his eyes made me lose my mind. Every conscious decision I had made to keep myself safe flew out the window, and I no longer cared about any of it.

For one second I let my heart take over. That second was all it took. I stretched up on my toes and pressed my lips against his.

Instantly, I felt Edward tense. His lips formed a hard line and his arms stiffened around me. I pulled away as fast as I could but it was too late, the damage had been done.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I stuttered, looking at my shoes. I struggled fruitlessly, trying to free myself. "I know I sh-shouldn't have . . . I really didn't mean . . ."

His arms fell limply to his sides and I stepped back a few paces. "I know you don't- I mean, you don't have to . . . I understand."

"Bella," he said, his voice unfathomable. I couldn't bear to look at his face. How could I have done something so stupid?

I turned my back on him to hide the tears that were stinging my eyes. A cold hand caught my wrist.

"Bella," he repeated in the same tone.

In one swift movement, Edward tugged on my wrist so that I was facing him again. He placed his other on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His eyes burned into mine, so many emotions danced across them that I found myself growing dizzy. Or maybe that was because I had forgotten how to breath . . .

Edward was the only thing in the entire world that mattered anymore. He filled my senses, overpowering everything.

He bent forward carefully, still staring at me with those piercing golden eyes. Ever so gently, he placed his lips on mine.

The kiss was like something straight out of a sappy romance novel. The kind you read about but could never imagine in your wildest dream. Only better.

He was gentle and firm at the same time. His lips were ice cold and mine were hot from the blood pulsing beneath them. The contrast sent sparks flying through my body. My hands trailed up his chest and tangled into his bronze hair. He kissed me so carefully, tenderly but I could tell that he meant it. He wanted this too.

As soon as it had started, it was over. I was standing there, wrapped in Edward's unyielding embrace, gasping for air. And he was doing the same. His eyes twinkled and a slow smile spread across his face. The corners of my mouth turned upward as I took a moment to let what had happened sink in.

Edward Cullen had kissed me. Kissed me. Kissed me.

"Wow," I said again.

Well there you have it. It's 1:00 in the morning right now and I'm going to die at school tomorrow but it was worth it. I'll just have to tell my Chem teacher that it was you guy's faults I didn't do most of my homework. Longest chappy ever (really didn't plan it to be this long, over 9 pages) and they KISSED!!

REVIEW because you love me! O, and please excuse any grammar + spelling errors, I'm about to fall asleep right now.