A/N: Thanks again to everyone who has favorite/reviewed/followed this story. All of your feedback has been greatly appreciated. And if you're one of those people who just reads, thank you to you, too Just knowing that people are reading this makes me happy. As I've said before, I'm not sure how much longer this one is going to go on, probably only one or two more chapters… Anyway, here you go. Enjoy!
Not Another Mistake
He opened his eyes as sunlight invaded the room, filtering through the curtains that hung over the massive floor to ceiling windows. The fact that he'd slept through until morning surprised him. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd slept so soundly. Most nights he was lucky to get three or four uninterrupted hours. He'd barely been able to keep his eyes open when they'd stumbled into the hotel just after midnight and Felicity hadn't been much better. He'd had to wake her just to get her out of the car.
She shifted against him, sighing and wrapping herself more securely around him. One of her bare legs was twined with both of his, her arm resting across his abdomen while her head was pillowed over his heart. She hadn't even flinched the night before at the prospect of sharing a bed with him. He had expected an innuendo-filled ramble and flushed cheeks when she'd realized that he'd gotten them a room with a single king-sized bed rather than two smaller beds. It wasn't as if they hadn't slept together, whether on the cot in the foundry or on her sofa. But a bed, an actual bed in a hotel room, should've gotten some sort of reaction from her. Instead, she'd ducked into the bathroom only to emerge twenty minutes later in an oversized t-shirt that looked suspiciously familiar with her wet hair pilled in a messy knot on top of her head. Her face had been scrubbed clean of make-up but he hadn't missed her swollen, bloodshot eyes. She'd cried a lot in the last few weeks, more than she should've, and he knew that he was partially responsible for her tears.
His life – his chaotic world – had nearly gotten her killed. He'd almost lost her, he very easily could've, and that thought frightened him. He didn't want to imagine a life without her in it. Not now. Not ever.
He traced his fingers up the length of her back, trailing over the curve of her spine, and looked down into her sleeping face.
A knot had formed in the pit of his stomach months ago, drawing tighter and tighter as the battle with Slade had progressed. It had made breathing – moving, eating, sleeping, drinking, everything – difficult. But he had noticed that in just the last seventy-two ours, the knot had begun to unravel. The fear had started to abate. But his worry wouldn't leave him. He worried about her every day, worried how the darkness that surrounded him was affecting her. He hated seeing her cry, hated knowing that the anguish that she felt had inadvertently been caused by him. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be with someone whose life wouldn't put her at risk. Someone who could keep her safe.
He wanted to be that person. He didn't want to let her go. It was selfish, he knew, but he couldn't let her walk away.
"What time is it?" she mumbled sleepily, pressing her face further into his chest.
"Almost eight."
She groaned and he smiled as he brushed his lips against her forehead.
"We need to check on Digg and Lyla. Make sure that they have somewhere to live, you know? And Roy, too. Laurel and Detective Lance… Everybody really."
He nodded, the hand on her back continuing its uninterrupted journey.
"Roy texted yesterday while we were still in the air. He's okay. And I talked to Laurel before we left for Lian Yu. Her apartment wasn't hit. Sounds like her dad's place was but, from what she said, it isn't too bad," he assured her, "They're all going to be fine."
"Oh. Okay, good, that's good. Well I sent Digg a message last night to let him know that we weren't going to be staying at my place but I hadn't heard back from him before we went to bed. I should probably find my phone…"
He released her, watching as she sat up in the middle of the bed and stretched her arms over her head. She glanced around the room, really taking it in for the first time, and he watched as her eyes widened in astonishment. She turned back to him.
"Oliver, are we in the penthouse?" she questioned.
He shrugged, "I wasn't sure how long we'd need to stay here so I figured that we should at least be comfortable."
She shoved her hair away from her face, some of it having come loose in the night. He hadn't thought that it was possible but she was even more beautiful like this, her hair mussed and wearing nothing but his t-shirt. He would never admit it but he'd dreamed of waking up with her long before their relationship had formed into what it currently was.
"What part of 'former-billionaire' don't you get?" she asked on an exasperated sigh, "How are you planning on paying for this? Your bank accounts have been frozen, your credit cards have been cancelled. I did what I could to transfer your assets into accounts in my name so that they couldn't take everything but we're going to need that money to rebuild the new lair and I –"
"Felicity."
She sucked in a sharp breath as he sat up beside her. His hand settled on her shoulder.
"There are other accounts," he confessed, "Offshore. They've – ARGUS set them up when I first started working with them. Amanda assured me that they couldn't be touched by anyone but me."
She looked at him with a completely blank expression. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly and her eyes fell to her hands where they rested in her lap.
"Are there any other secrets that you need to share? Secret lairs? Secret bank accounts? What else is there, Oliver?"
He extricated himself from the bed and paced away from her. He had known that he would have to tell her the truth. She deserved his honesty and she had a right to know who he really was. He needed to tell her everything, at least as much as he could, because he wanted her to make an informed decision. He wanted her to know who he was and what he'd done before she decided that now was the time to walk away from him.
He sat on the edge of the bed and angled himself to face her.
"I didn't spend five years on the island."
She sighed, "I've already figured that much out. How else would you have become a member of Bratva? Where would you have learned to fly a plane? There are some gaping holes in your story, Oliver. And that's okay. There are some secrets that need to stay secret. But if you're keeping things from me because you don't trust me, then we have a problem."
His eyes shot to hers and her blank expression had been replaced by one of hurt. He reached for her hand.
"I trust you, Felicity. I trust you with my life. It had nothing to do with that. I just –"
The words stick in his throat. He had to fight to make them make sense in his head before he continued.
"What I did… the work that I did for ARGUS, I – I'm not proud of it. And those years that I wasn't on Lian Yu, I wish that I could forget them. I wish that I could forget all of it. There are things that I haven't told you, that I can't tell you, because I don't want to bring that darkness into your world. I feel like I've already damaged you. I never wanted to surround you with this, Felicity, with me but I-"
She squeezed his hand and jerked on his arm until he was looking at her again. She shook her head.
"Oliver, there has only ever been one time that I've honestly considered walking away from all of this and it had nothing to do with you. Do you remember The Savior? When I was tracking him and he was on the train and we couldn't stop him and he – he killed the DA? That was the one and only time I've ever considered leaving. And it was because I felt like I'd failed, like I'd let you down and he died because of me," she told him, her hand finding its way to his jaw, "You haven't damaged me. If anything you've made me feel like I belong again, like I have a team, a family. If you hadn't come into my life, I'd still be spending all of my time alone in my apartment or alone in my office in IT. And I'm not saying that this has been easy or that it's going to get any easier. But I don't plan on going anywhere."
Silence fell between them and for a long moment, he could do nothing but stare at her. He still couldn't figure her out, couldn't figure out why she was still beside him, why she still believed in him. But she was and she did and he loved her for it.
"How much?" she asked after what felt like an eternity.
"How much, what?"
She cocked her head at him, knowing full well that he knew what she was asking. He shrugged.
"Enough to last us a while."
She glared at him, "Oliver."
He only considered lying to her for half a minute. He knew better. He would eventually give her access to the accounts because she would be the one to order the new equipment. She would find out for herself exactly how much money he had been putting away for the last five years.
"About fifteen."
She swallowed hard, "Fifteen million?"
He nodded and she pursed her lips. He watched as she thought something over, her mind clearly churning. Eventually, she scooted closer to the edge of the bed where he sat and pressed her lips to his. When she sat back smiling, he couldn't help but be slightly confused.
"That should help us get back up and running," she announced, "And I was thinking. Do you remember what you said that night outside of the mansion? When Slade… you said something about going away for a few days. Just me and you. Are you still - do you still want to do that?"
He was graced with her flushed cheeks and her embarrassed smile. He brushed his fingers over the pink tint that colored her pale skin.
"Wherever you want to go. For however long. Maybe we'll actually be able to relax and just… be together. No threats. No work. Just me and you."
The color on her cheeks deepened and he was tempted to ask her what it was about spending time alone with him that caused her face to flush. Instead, he slipped his arm around her waist and drew her as close to him as possible. He saw her eyes flash to his lips, heard her soft intake of breath, and then his lips where on hers.
Nothing else mattered in that moment. The secrets could wait. The repairs and rebuilding could wait. All he cared about was the woman in his arms and the fact that they had both come out alive.