"I'll be your crying shoulder. I'll be loves suicide. I'll be better when I'm older. I'll be the greatest fan of your life."

-Goo Goo Dolls

"I don't know how I lived without you for twenty years, Rick," she mumbled into his chest.

"I'll be here forever, Kate."

"Kate, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Castle asked worriedly. Since Kate had filed for divorce a little over a week ago, she'd been sick almost every morning that Castle had seen her.

"I'm fine, Castle. Just nerves," she told him, rather annoyed with him for asking the same question every single day.

Castle knew that wasn't the truth. But he also knew better than to argue with her over it. Especially when she was so worked up over her marriage. He sighed, shaking his head before changing the subject. "So how's the lawyer working out?"

"She's great actually. Said that she's confident about our case. She thinks that it'll be almost impossible for the judge to not allow me custody of Johanna."

Castle nodded. "So we picked the right one for this?"

"Definitely. I don't think we could've done better." Kate paused. "Where is Jo, by the way?"

"Oh," Castle said. "She and Alexis are upstairs. They just hung out up there all night. I didn't really see them very much."

"Thanks for watching her, again. I know you didn't sign up for this, but I'm glad she has someone that can keep her mind off of things."

Castle rolled his eyes, a move he had picked up from her. "Will you ever stop thanking me for stupid things? Taking care of Jo is nothing. She's well-behaved and fun to be around. She's not a burden to me. Plus she and Alexis still get along great."

Kate nodded, holding back the 'thank you' that was threatening to escape her lips.

"You hungry?" Castle asked her.

"Yeah, a little, actually," she admitted, following him into the kitchen. She sat down at one of the stools at the counter, watching him move around the small area with practiced ease.

"Here, we just had pancakes this morning. There's some left if you want them. Coffee?"

"Please."

Castle prepared a cup of coffee to her liking. As he slid it across the counter towards her, she threw her hand up to cover her mouth. The scent of coffee pushed her over the edge as she pushed herself off of her seat and into the bathroom.

Castle stood there, motionless. He knew what this meant. The aversion to food, to coffee. The emotional mess that she has been that she never used to be. She was pregnant. He'd bet his life on it. Cautiously, he followed her path to the bathroom. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Kate?" he called to her from the doorway.

She looked up at him, shock written across every feature of her face. As if this possibility has only just dawned upon her.

"Kate, this might be too personal for you… But have you been with Will since the accident?"

She nodded, still frozen in place. She cleared her throat. "Only once. It was right after he was cleared, but I found anything out. He wasn't the same. I should've known it then and there that something was going on. I should've paid attention, I'm a cop for crying out loud, and –"

"Kate, calm down. Everything's fine," Castle interrupted her rambling.

"Castle, I can't be pregnant with his child. I mean, I love Johanna, and that will never change, but he's not going to be around to help with this one."

"Relax. You don't know for sure, yet."

Kate gave him a look. A look that clearly said 'you're a moron.' "I just can't believe I didn't notice earlier."

"You had a lot of other things to worry about," he pointed out. Castle moved closer to her, reaching a hand out to her. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to her feet. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I'll run out now, go pick up some tests. Just to make sure." Kate nodded. "I'm guessing you don't want me to pick you up a coffee while I'm out?" he joked.

Kate shot him another look. "No thank you."

Castle grinned at the irritation leaking into her tone. "I'll go now. I'll be back in fifteen minutes tops." He kissed her temple, whispering into her ear, "I'll be here, always."

He pulled away, heading to the door. Kate watched him leave in silence. She was still getting over the idea of being pregnant again. But a large part of her was wishing it was Castle's baby she was carrying. Not her husband's.

She sighed, her hand falling to her still flat stomach. "I'm sorry," she whispered to her belly, fear dripping in her voice.

(…)

Castle hurried to the nearest drug store. Entering the tiny shop, he headed straight for the aisle 5, the aisle carrying pregnancy tests. He scanned the brands, wondering which Kate would prefer. After a few minutes of pondering, he decided on three different brands, all claiming to be accurate. Besides, it was pretty obvious to him that she was definitely pregnant, so it shouldn't matter all that much.

The little old woman at the counter gave Castle a knowing smile as she scanned his items. Handing him the receipt, she grinned again. "Congratulations," she told him.

Castle gave her a polite smile back, not wanting to go into the details of his situation with a total stranger. On the way home, all he could think about was Kate carrying his baby. Kate holding their newborn in her arms, the sweat matting her hair, but still making her more beautiful than ever. Their toddler running around the loft, his hazel eyes matching his mother's, but his energy matching his. He wanted it, and wanted it bad. But they weren't even together. Hell, she was still married to another man. He groaned, mentally smacking himself for allowing such thoughts to enter his brain.

He was home before he knew it, stepping into the elevator to bring himself up to his floor, and back to Kate. Walking through the door, he found Kate settled on the couch, focused on the TV in front of her.

"Hey," he greeted her, handing her the plastic shopping bag.

"Thanks," she said, taking the bag into her hands. "I'm just gonna go…" she trailed off pointing to the bathroom.

Castle nodded. "I'll wait here."

Kate headed off in the direction of the bathroom, running her hand through Castle's hair as she passed him. His hair was unbelievably soft. All she wanted to do was run both of her hands through it for oh, let's say, the next few hours.

Taking a deep breath, Kate took the tests. She put them all on the counter, and she sat herself on the closed toilet seat. She was nervous, but she was almost positive she already knew the answer.

After the three minutes of waiting were up, she took all three tests into her hand. They all showed the same answer. Tears welled up into her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Walking back to Castle, she handed him one of the tests.

Castle looked down at the object in his hands. 'Positive,' it read. He stood, already opening his arms for her. She folded herself into his embrace, still refusing to let herself cry.

"You won't do this alone, Kate. I'll be here. I know it's not ideal, but I won't let you go through this by yourself," he told her. He felt her nod into his chest. "I'll be here, always."

A/N: Sooo… Thoughts?