Chapter 20.

Joey and Lauren walked up the stairs hand in hand later that night. Lauren went into the bathroom to have a quick wash, clean her teeth and change into her pyjamas. She walked into the bedroom and found Joey was already in the bed. Usually his back was towards her and he didn't move into her arms until he was asleep but tonight he was watching her as she came into the room. "You seem different tonight…" she said softly, not wanting to anger him but needing to know what had brought this change about.

"After you told me you were going out… and mum told me you'd gone out with Uncle Jack… I was worried you would decide to go home… back to your family…"

"That's never going to happen, Joe…" she said softly.

"I realised I've been pushing you away and I don't want you to go… I need you here and I'm sorry I haven't shown that recently…" he murmured, watching her face carefully.

Lauren climbed into the bed, keeping distance between them both. "I understand, Joe… I know this is difficult…" she told him gently. "I'm here for you, whenever you need me…"

"Can I hug you?" he asked. Lauren nodded, keeping the surprise off her face because this was the first time, apart from earlier that evening when he'd instigated any contact between them in two days, since the police had been around. He moved towards her and she closed her eyes as his arms wrapped around her, holding her close to him. His face buried in her neck and she tentatively looped her arms around him too. Her hand brushed up his back and her fingers ran through his hair.

They lay like that for some time and Lauren was unable to hide her surprise when she felt his lips kiss her neck softly. She moaned quietly as his mouth moved up her neck until he was sucking on the skin beneath her jaw. His hands ran over her body, softly brushing over the top of her clothes. "Joe, what are you doing?" she whispered, fighting every instinct she had to respond to him.

"Being a good boyfriend…" he breathed in her ear, his last word affecting Lauren more than she thought it would.

"I don't think you're ready for this, Joe…" she murmured, feeling him tense against her.

"I think I know what I'm ready for and what I'm not…" he said as he pulled away from her. She could see the pain on his face as he stared at her and then his mouth was on hers, kissing her forcefully. His tongue forced its way into her mouth and Lauren knew he was trying to prove a point… whether that was to her or himself she wasn't sure.

He kissed her, almost angrily and Lauren moved her hands to his shoulders, trying to push him away from her. This wasn't how she wanted this to happen. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her to the mattress beneath her as he rolled them so she was on her back and he was above her. He tore his mouth from hers, staring at her. She looked into his eyes and she could see anger in them… she could see a darkness that scared her. "Joe… don't do this… please," she begged him as he kissed her aggressively again, silencing her. She moved beneath him, trying to break free of him. She was breathing fast, futilely trying to pull her arms from his hands. "Please, Joe… no," she whimpered as he forced her still.

He pulled away from her again, staring into her eyes. She wasn't even sure he recognised her or knew what he was doing. She couldn't see any of her Joe in his face and she was now officially terrified about what he was going to do. To her and to himself.

*JL*JL*

Joey lay in the bed, his arms and legs curled into his chest. Tears were running silently down his face and every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the fear on her face as she looked up at him. How could he do something like that to her… threaten her and make her as powerless as he had been on that night. He hated himself. He wished he was dead… he wished he had died at their hands. He wished he had never returned to Walford so that he could never hurt the girl he loved.

*JL*JL*

Lauren was lying a few feet from Joey, her back to him as she lay on the bed, tears running down her face as she tried to regain the use of her limbs. Never before had she been so scared. She had really thought he was going to rape her and she had no idea what it was that had stopped him. But whatever it was, she was grateful. She took a shaky breath, holding it and listening for some sound from him. Slowly she moved from the bed, creeping towards the door. She opened the door and moved out into the hallway. She sneaked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She curled up on the floor and let herself cry as the last few minutes ran over and over in her mind.

A/N: Well that wasn't good, was it? I guess at least he didn't actually do it... but he scared her nevertheless and they are both very upset by it all. SEND ME A REVIEW. Back tomorrow...