Part 19

"All right, that's enough. The decision is up to Sasuke."

I heard Tsunade's voice and her words, but I didn't wanna let Sasuke go. A whimper escaped my throat and I only hugged Sasuke tighter.

"Sakura." Now she addressed me. "This meeting is over now. Go back to your room at the hospital."

I felt hands on my back and arms trying to pull me off. "Stop it," I muttered, trying to shake off those hands.

"Sakura, you've done enough," said Tsunade. "There's nothing more you can do."

"Hokage-sama's right," said Kakashi, his voice much calmer now. I realized he was the one trying to pull me off Sasuke. "In the end, it's all a matter what Sasuke wants to do. If he'd rather take the coward's way out, then…"

"No…" I was sounding like a baby, but I didn't want Sasuke to die. I just wanted…I wanted to do something.

"Sakura, please—" said Tsunade.

"Sakura." This came from Sasuke. His voice was calm as well. "Let me go."

"Sasuke-kun—" I began.

But Sasuke didn't wanna listen to me. He forcibly sat up, making me let go of him. His pale face didn't look neutral anymore, but he didn't look very talkative, either.

"Let's go now, Sakura," said Kakashi. He tried to pull me to my feet, but I was in a panicky desperation. I lunged forward, somehow breaking free of him, and kissed Sasuke hard on the lips. I don't think I've ever done anything so spontaneous. Then again, I wasn't exactly thinking rationally.

Sasuke's lips were so soft; it took me off-guard. He was indifferent to the kiss, not responding to it whatsoever.

But he didn't push me away…

The kiss itself couldn't have lasted more than ten seconds, but it felt like time stopped for me. But then Kakashi got hold of me again, pulling me away from Sasuke and to my feet.

"Sasuke-kun—" I started struggling, but Kakashi was still very much more powerful than me. "Try to—you must—just—don't die!!!!" by those words I was screaming on the top of my lungs. "Think of our daughter!!!! Think of our daughter!!!!!"

Sasuke didn't react to my words, either. He just watched me as I tried to fight off Kakashi, but he inevitably overpowered me and dragged me from the room.

"Thank you, Kakashi," said Tsunade. "There's a lot I have to take care of, but I appreciate the help."

"It's not a problem, Hokage-sama," said Kakashi. "We've done all we can with this impromptu meeting. I don't want Sasuke to die, but…I don't think there's anything else I can do at this point."

"There's nothing any of us can do," said Tsunade grimly. "In the end, it's all a matter of what he wants."

I didn't try to contribute to their conversation, even to argue with them. I felt numb inside, unable to put up a fight anymore. I didn't wanna acknowledge the situation or reality. I just…I don't know.

Before I knew it, I was back in my hospital room. Tenten seemed surprised to see us, but I didn't pay attention to whatever Kakashi and her were talking about. I didn't feel the hug she gave me or the pat on the shoulder Kakashi gave me. I only noticed anything when the room was in silence and I realized I was alone.

I sat cross-legged in the middle of my bed, staring down into my hands. I felt like I was twelve again, begging Sasuke not to leave the village.

"I love you more than anything!!!"

I felt like I was losing him all over again. This time, however, he was gonna die.

Tomorrow he was gonna die.

I didn't get it. I tried all I could to convince him to live and stay, but it wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough.

I heard a coo and looked up. Tsubaki was awkwardly crawling around in front of me, her little arms shaking as she tried to support herself on all fours. She lost her balance and fell against my legs, but she picked herself back. She seemed to notice me as though she didn't realize I was there. She reached out to pat me on the knee and fell on top of my leg. She started giggling.

My throat tightened and my eyes burned as I looked down at her. She crawled up my leg into my lap and looked up at me, without a care in the world. You never would've guessed the trauma she suffered in her small lifetime. My daughter and Sasuke's daughter…

"Oh, Tsubaki…" I was crying again as I took her into my arms. Her tiny warm body gave me great comfort, but it also made the pain worse. How could Sasuke NOT want to be in her life? She deserved so much better than this!!!

Then again, so did I.

Tsubaki was confused by my emotions, as she was in a much better mood than I was. Her mood began to sour and I could tell she was about to cry. I lay down on the bed both of us on our sides facing each other, cradling her to me and quietly hushing her. Thankfully, her well of tears dried and she quickly fell asleep.

I lay there awake for what seemed like a long time, staring idly into the darkness of the room. I tucked Tsubaki closer to me, her head snuggled into my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and sobbed quietly, trying to not startle Tsubaki awake.

Sasuke would die tomorrow. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it.

---

I knew I was dreaming. I'd been startled into this dream by a surreal presence. My eyes opened partially…yes, I could see some light. But the room wasn't lit; it had to be coming from the hallway.

I should be panicking. Even the presence of the nurses checking up on us never woke me up. And yet this intrusion did.

I opened my eyes again; I hadn't realized I'd closed them. Someone was standing over the bed, looking down at us. But I couldn't turn to look at them. I almost panicked, wondering if this nightmare was about my captivity under Orochimaru. But I felt like I was lying in a bed, not on the ground.

A hand reached out. I watched it as it hovered over Tsubaki briefly before it gently touched her head. The hand stroked her hair, running their fingertips ever so slightly against her cheek. Tsubaki didn't wake up; another indicator of a dream. Something like this might've disturbed her.

Then the hand was gone. I closed my eyes, wanting this weird dream to end. I was almost startled to feel a hand touching MY head, fingers running through MY hair and touching MY cheek. My heart standing pounding wildly, but strangely…I wasn't panicking.

Those fingers…they were touching me so innocently, but my scalp started tingling. My cheeks felt warm. It felt…nice.

Then the hand was gone. I still lay there curled up with my daughter. This was all much unexpected. So it was no surprise to me when a body leaned over me and I felt something soft brush my cheek.

And I wasn't scared. I had a sudden strange awareness that everything would be all right.

---

A foot kicked one of the legs of my bed, startling me awake. I quickly sat up, clutching Tsubaki to me. Something registered to me, even before the other person in the room. The bedcovers had been pulled over us. We hadn't fallen asleep like that; it was on top of the covers. I wouldn't think twice that I somehow did this myself without disturbing Tsubaki.

"Oi!!!"

I looked up to see Kotetsu and Izumo. Izumo waved a hand at me. "C'mon, up and moving!! Hokage-sama wants to see you!!!"

I vaguely wondered why they would be delivering a message from Tsunade when the situation dawned on me. I yanked the covers up to my chin. "How DARE you come into a girl's room?!?!"

Kotetsu shrugged. "Hokage-sama's orders. She demands to see you immediately."

"Fine, now get out!!" I yelled.

Kotetsu and Izumo seemed to find the situation amusing, but they left me alone to change. I got into some loose clothing I generally wouldn't be caught dead in, and I put Tsubaki in a cute smock dress before wrapping her in a thick blanket. My suspicions about my house were growing each day, particularly since the clothes I was being given for the two of us didn't belong to us. But didn't worry about it.

As I turned to leave the room, I looked outside. It looked like it was midday. Why did she want to see me? To give me another round of 'it's all Sasuke's decision'? It didn't wanna think about it.

I followed Kotetsu and Izumo towards Tsunade's building. I'd rarely left the hospital and I felt a little self-conscious being outside with so many people out. It was even more disheartening to see people open watching us and pointing at us and obviously talking about us.

Don't think about it, don't look at them, I ordered myself.

Thankfully, it didn't take us too long to reach Tsunade. But the surprises didn't stop for me. As Izumo opened the door and announced us, something quickly caught my eye.

Sasuke. He was sitting in one of the two seats facing Tsunade's desk, his head down. Did this mean…?

"Come right in, Sakura," said Tsunade, waving me in. "Thanks, you guys. You can leave now."

Kotetsu and Izumo left, closing the door behind them. I looked from Tsunade to Shizune to Sasuke and back to Tsunade. "Tsunade-sensei…what—"

"Take a seat," said Tsunade. "And we'll explain everything."

I slowly walked over to the chair and sat down, my eyes slipping over to Sasuke. He didn't look at me.

"A lot of people, particularly your teammates, wanted input on this," started Tsunade. "But I feel this is more of a family matter.

"If you hadn't already guessed, Sasuke had…a change of heart early this morning."

"REALLY?!?!" I screamed, jumping to my feet. "You chose to live, Sasuke-kun?!?!"

He didn't answer me, but I knew well enough. I felt like a big weight was lifted off me. Sasuke wanted to live!!! He was gonna live!!!!!

"Please sit, Sakura," said Tsunade. I did, feeling incredibly light-headed and happy. It was the best news I've heard yet. "Now…there's the ramifications you'll need for choosing to live."

"I understand," said Sasuke quietly.

"Normally, this matter would be handled publicly as a warning to those who might want to desert us," said Tsunade. "But like I said, I turned it into a family matter." She stood up. "Stand, Uchiha Sasuke."

Sasuke stood up and squared his shoulders, staring at Tsunade.

"As Godaime Hokage, I hereby make this decree," she said solemnly. "You are stripped of any and all honors as a ninja. You will hold no rank as a ninja and you will not participate in the goings of Konoha as a ninja unless in extreme emergency, as I do mean extreme. You are classified as a civilian living within these walls. So long as you live you are not allowed to set foot outside this village, unless once again due to extreme emergency.

"You are to report to me and all Hokage who succeed me twice in the day; as it begins and as it ends, to tell me of your plans and your progress. You are not to keep secrets and you are to report everything of your day; keep in mind being a former Missing-nin returning makes you forfeit your privacy. If you are found in violation of any of these decrees, you will be arrested on the spot and your fate will be decided.

"I must remind you that we very rarely take our Missing-nin back and let them live. By allowing you to do this is an extreme sign of weakness in the face of many other villages. But we have made this exception for you based on these terms. Do you understand these terms?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," said Sasuke.

"Shizune," said Tsunade.

Shizune stepped forward and slid a giant packet across the desk. I vaguely noticed she was holding a giant pile of packets. "Here is your contract, which lists most everything Hokage-sama has told you. Read it carefully and sign it. Even though you are no longer classified as a ninja, this is a binding contract like a ninja's."

"And if it is violated, you won't have the luxury of having your comrades come to your aid," said Tsunade. "Understood?"

"Yes." Sasuke took the packet and sat back down. He read each page carefully and started signing. I could only assume each page required a signature. I was still in a state of shock. They were being very heavy towards him; I didn't know if any of that was necessary.

"Now, there's the matter of Tsubaki," said Tsunade. She turned to me. "Do you want Sasuke to be part of her life?"

"Yes, I do," I said, adjusting her in my arms.

"All right, then," said Tsunade, waving to Shizune a second time. Shizune took two more packets and put them on the table. "This is a custody agreement."

"Wait, what?!" I demanded, jumping to my feet. "I don't remember making custody arrangements!!!!"

"Sasuke and I talked this morning. He's agreed to give you full custody of Tsubaki and pay child support. However he requests to see her on occasion, when the two of you can make arrangements. And parental rights can change at any time with your say-so, Sakura."

I picked up the packet and started reading it. I was upset they did this without me, but it was entirely in my favor. I had primary custody of her and it was entirely up to me if Sasuke could see her. It was beyond anything I could've asked for.

"All right," I said finally. There was only one line for me to sign. "I accept these terms. Tsubaki loves Sasuke-kun and I want him in her life."

Sasuke said nothing to this, but he finally looked at me. I tried to smile, but he didn't seem pleased.

"Well then," said Tsunade. "Now there's the matter of how you will PAY for the child support. Since you are forbidden from being a ninja, there are not a lot of job opportunities for you. But…I do have an opening you might be interested in."

"What's that?" asked Sasuke.

"Being my accountant."

That was the exact same job offer I turned down months ago!! I choked and looked at Sasuke. He seemed rather miffed about this job offer and he sat there in silence for a few moments.

Then he said, "All right. I'll do it."

"Congratulations, you're hired!!" said Tsunade. Shizune pulled out yet another contract. "If you'll sign this, you can start immediately and we'll get your wages started at 7,000 yen per hour."

"7,000 yen?!" I cried.

"Babies are expensive, as you must know, Sakura," said Tsunade.

Sasuke simply signed the contract without complaint. "Anything else?"

"Then there's this," said Shizune, plopping another contract on the table. How many did they draw up in the past few hours?!?! "Sasuke would like to make Tsubaki an Uchiha heir."

"W-What?!?!" I cried, staring at Sasuke. "B-But, why?!"

"She's my daughter," he said. "And I want to give her a home."

"But she already has a home at MY house!!!"

"Um…Sakura—" began Shizune.

"It was destroyed, wasn't it?" I said miserably.

"Did you see your house?" asked Tsunade.

I shrugged and slumped in my seat. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out why you guys kept me in the hospital even after I recovered."

"By making Tsubaki the Uchiha heir," said Tsunade. "You'll be legally allowed to live on the Uchiha compound; Sasuke has already expressed no interest in living there."

"…I'd rather return to my apartment," said Sasuke.

"However," said Tsunade. "By agreeing to make Tsubaki an heir, she will have to take the Uchiha name and not the Haruno name. But we won't do it without your permission, Sakura."

I stared down at Tsubaki. "…We'll be living in that giant place alone?"

"Yes," said Tsunade. "By clan laws, only Uchihas and relatives of Uchihas can live there. That means you are allowed there, Sakura, as the heir's mother, but no one else is."

"I…see." I didn't like the idea of living in that compound all alone with Tsubaki, where all the Uchihas were slaughtered. But then again, if my house was destroyed we were homeless. And I didn't wanna mooch off anyone…

"If I sign this…" fingered the contract. "Then Tsubaki will be Uchiha by law?"

"Yes," said Tsunade.

"Where does that leave me?"

"You'll still have primary say over her, even though you're not an Uchiha by blood or marriage."

I skimmed the contract. It was as clean and cut as the custody one; each working in my favor.

I glanced at Sasuke. "Do you really want her to be an heir, Sasuke-kun?"

"…No," he said. "I think it'll put a stigma on her. But as an heir she'll gain special recognition and she'll be under greater protection. And she'll have a place to live."

I looked down at the contract again and then at Tsubaki. This would be the deciding factor of her entire life. I was so afraid of what to choose, of what could happen whether or not I allowed her to be an Uchiha. She couldn't even have a say in it. Would she resent me later?

She started fidgeting in my lap and stretched her arms out to Sasuke. We both looked down at her awkwardly. I swallowed before speaking. "It looks like she wants you to hold her, Sasuke-kun?"

He said nothing, but he held out his arms. I reached over and handed her over. Tsubaki seemed rather pleased to be held by him. Sasuke of course wasn't one for emotional expressions, but he looked at her and handled her very tenderly. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief at seeing this. Somehow, I knew that even if the village failed Tsubaki, Sasuke would protect her.

I turned back to the contract. My hands were trembling, but I signed it anyways. "All right. I agree to let her take the Uchiha name and become an heir."

"Then that takes care of everything," said Tsunade. "As you said, Sakura, you're pretty much recovered. If you'd like to check out the Uchiha compound today, you're more than welcome to."

I nodded. "I'll go there as soon as I can."

---

Tsunade was right; my house was destroyed, along with most everything in my neighborhood. Where my house use to be was now a pile of splintered wood. It was incredibly disheartening to see this. Sure, I had mixed memories of that house; living my childhood there and finding my dead parents there, but it'd been my home. And now…it was all gone.

Even if I had misgivings, I was glad that I agreed to live at the Uchiha household. I was too exhausted to try and put my ruined house back together again.

Silence. That's the thing that struck me about this place. As I drew nearer to the compound, pushing Tsubaki in a stroller, I all I heard was our own noises and the wind rustling. There wasn't anybody around; not even birds.

I hesitated before those giant double doors to the Uchiha household. They were padlocked. I took several deep breaths as I fumbled with the keys Sasuke gave me to undo the locks and it took me several minutes to take them down.

When they were all undone, I just stood there. I was terrified to go inside. I didn't know what to expect; surely not the dead bodies Sasuke found when he last went through here. But I forced myself to breathe and I pushed open the doors.

It was still very quiet. And the place looked larger than life. It's obviously been built to hold the entire Uchiha family and not for two people. It was just so…empty. Not even scavengers had gone through here.

"Okay, honey," I said to Tsubaki, pushing the stroller as we entered the main area. I didn't dare close the gates; I'd feel trapped inside if I did, even if they were unlocked. "Let's look at our new home."

Tsubaki looked all around us in wonderment, obviously not aware her family had been killed here. I was too afraid to go inside the empty buildings, but I got a sense that this place was…clean. Not sparkling, mind you; dust and dirt covered the outer buildings. But it didn't feel like dozens of people were murdered here. It just felt like a…ghost town.

They must've cleaned the whole place up after they found the bodies, I surmised to myself. Inwardly I was grateful; if I had to clean up dried blood over ten years old, knowing it was a relative of Sasuke's, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I reached a building I was sure was Sasuke's old house. His parents had been murdered in there as well. I finally mustered up enough courage to open the front door. The entryway was so…ordinary. I looked at the front entrance, seeing the area where you take off your shoes. Sasuke and Itachi and their parents had gone through here everyday before…

Stop it, I ordered myself. This isn't a haunted house unless YOU turn it into one.

I removed my shoes and picked up Tsubaki. We left the entryway (ignoring the staircase) and walked towards the main area of the house. I was surprised to see most of the furniture intact; it was as if whoever cleaned up here before wasn't willing to do more than that. And as I expected, everything was covered in dust.

"Home sweet home," I muttered to myself, feeling emotionally weary. I didn't explore anymore that day. That night, we slept on the first floor.

---

I was just about to get ready to clean up the place when I got wind of a gigantic mission; the annihilation of the Akatsuki. The strongest ninja would be involved, split up into teams to find and attack the Akatsuki.

My friends were amongst those chosen for the mission.

Even though I had Tsubaki to take care of, my first instinct was to sign up for the mission. I was a Medic-nin after all and I wanted to do something to help everyone.

I should've known Tsunade better, though.

"Absolutely not," she said hotly. "You're still on maternity leave and I won't allow you to leave your daughter alone!!!"

"But—"

"No buts!!! As Hokage I forbid you from participating in this mission!! You're gonna have to stay here with the rest of us and see the end results!!!!"

"Tsunade-sensei, I'm a Medic-nin!! I know many jutsus that could help everyone!!! I—"

"I said no and I mean it!!! The debate is over, Sakura!!!"

So that was that. There was nothing I could do to help everyone. It made me angry for a while, but that subsided when I was playing with Tsubaki. I found I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her alone again. If I left on this mission, the chances were high that I would die. And Tsubaki had already been hurt enough that she didn't need the risk of losing her mother.

But everyone was else was going. Naruto, Sai, Kakashi, Ino, Hinata, Lee…a whole bunch of them were going together and weren't gonna return for a long time. I knew I probably see a few or maybe all of them again.

Don't think like that!! I ordered myself. They can do this!! They're all very powerful in their own right!! And lots of others will be doing this as well!!!

It was still difficult to think about. I was glad there was a lot for me to do at the Uchiha house in terms of cleaning. Even if Tsubaki and I were only living in Sasuke's old house, I was determined to clean up all of them. I distracted myself by scrubbing rooms, furniture, and porches clean of dust and dirt. Naruto and the others wanted to help me, but I said no. They had a lot to focus on as it was, and loading myself with work was incredibly refreshing.

I'd noticed that Naruto and Lee seemed to be avoiding me. Not entirely, though; they stopped by to see me from time to time. But I could sense a gap between us. It had me puzzled for a while, wondering why they were so distant. We were close, weren't we?

"I love you, Sasuke-kun. It hurts me to admit it, but it's true."

I'd been replacing the shoji screens in one of the houses one day when that thought came to me. I'd poured my heart out to Sasuke to convince him to live, and I'd done it in front of everyone. Including Naruto and Lee.

I really was insensitive. I knew those two had feelings for me, and that…it was a wonder they were still talking to me. I'd used them both and for what? I still loved Sasuke; that hadn't changed all these years.

I felt so horrible.

"I'm not a very good friend, Tsubaki," I said quietly, blinking back tears. "Everyone must think I don't care about anyone but myself and Sasuke-kun…" I glanced down at her. "You don't think like that, do you?"

Tsubaki was chewing on some shoji paper, not really paying attention to me.

"Babies are so lucky," I muttered to myself, turning back to the screen.

"Sakura-san?"

I jumped up, not hearing anyone approach. "Tenten-san?"

It was Tenten. And she looked terrible.

"I'm sorry I came in like this," she said quietly. "I tried ringing your doorbell, but nobody answered."

"I-It's all right," I said hastily. "I was just putting in some fresh shoji screens."

Tenten took a few steps back to look at the screens. She forced a smile. "Are those camellias?"

"Yeah. Most of the screens around here are decorated in flowers. I thought it would liven up the place." I held out a roll. "Wanna help me?"

"Sure." She took it and we got to work setting up the screens. I knew she wanted to talk to me about something, but I wasn't rushing anything.

I only had to wait a few minutes. "I told him today."

"Eh?" I glanced at her. "Told who what?"

Tenten finished fitting the panel and set aside the roll. She turned away from the screen and faced the garden. "Neji. I told him my feelings."

The roll fell out of my hands. My jaw dropped and I stared at her stunned. "W-W-W-Wait. N-Neji-san?! The guy you like…it's Neji?!?!"

Tenten sort of jerked her head in a nod. "Didn't I tell you?"

"Well…" I awkwardly sat down next to her. "I knew you liked someone, just not who. But I did know it wasn't Lee-san." Sitting there I was thinking why I didn't think it was Neji sooner. He was her teammate after all, along with Lee.

Tenten shrugged. "It doesn't matter. It was a huge mistake."

"Mistake?"

"I've been training nonstop for this mission. But I'm a little…nervous. This is gonna be like nothing we've faced before. So…" she fiddled with her hands. "We trained together today, while Gai-sensei and Lee trained. And…it just came out."

I couldn't even create a mental image of this. I didn't even know what to say to this.

"Neji…didn't take it well," said Tenten. She forced out a laugh. "He got really mad at me. And I mean mad." Her shoulders began to tremble. "He felt what I was doing was inappropriate, given the situation we're about to put ourselves into. He…" She choked on a sob. "He yelled at me real bad, Sakura-san. He never yelled at me before. It was really surprising." She clenched her hands in her fists.

"Tenten-san—" I said.

"Sakura-san, what have I done? I keep trying to rationalize that I needed to tell him. I-I mean, anything can happen when we leave, right? I-I-I didn't wanna tell him like that, but I wanted to tell him before we left!!! I thought this was more appropriate than telling him out in the field!!!

"But…oh, Sakura-san, I've really upset him!! I know he has a lot on his mind; he outranks most of us. But I just…" She was rising towards hysteria. "I don't know what to do!!! I don't wanna leave while things are like this between us!!! But I'm scared to do anything!!!"

"Hey…" I reached out and touched her arm. I didn't have much to say to her, but I hoped what I did help some. "Did he reject you?"

"What?" Tenten scrubbed at her face and glanced at me.

"Well…you said he yelled at you. But did he say he didn't like you?"

"I…I don't know." She thought about it. "He was speaking very quickly and really getting in my face. I wasn't really listening to what he was saying; I just wanted to get out of there."

"It's not he can hate you, right? I mean, you've been working together for years." I tried to smile. "Knowing him, he'll wanna talk to you before you guys leave so you don't leave with all…this between you."

"I guess so." Tenten took a few deep breaths. "Maybe it just upset him. I'm not usually like this. Ever since that Tsukuyomi…" she shuddered. "I guess I should talk to him and sort this out."

"I'd wait for him to approach you. If you go to him now he might get the wrong idea."

"All right." Tenten gave me a quick hug. "I doubt I'll be able to hook up with a Hyuuga, but I've been keeping this in for years. For what's its worth, I'm glad it's out in the open now. Thanks for listening, Sakura-san."

Even if it was for news like that, Tenten's visit was very uplifting for me. It gave me a little hope about my attitude towards everyone. I'd have to make amends to both Lee and Naruto before they left.

---

For all my cleaning, I'd been doing my best to avoid the second floor of the house. The Sasuke fan in me wanted to see the room he slept in as a child, but I was very conscious of the fact that Itachi's murderous rampage ended upstairs. Even with all the cleaning and sprucing up I was doing, it was still unsettling for me.

Even so, when I did have to face the upstairs, it came from the last source I would've ever expected.

I was playing with Tsubaki inside when a call from outside in the garden got my attention. The voice in particular got my attention and I almost couldn't believe it was true. I ran to the screen door and slid it open.

Yes, it was Sasuke. He was there, on his family's compound. He looked like he was sick to his stomach, but he stood there expectantly.

"Sasuke-kun," I said softly, taking a step outside. "I didn't expect you to come here."

Sasuke shrugged rigidly. "Today I get Tsubaki, remember? You never showed up for the designated time."

Realization dawned on me and I clamped my hands to my face. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!!! I completely forgot!!!"

"It's no problem," said Sasuke. He was looking directly at me, but I had a feeling it was because he didn't wanna look around him. "Can I come inside?"

"Are you sure you want to?" I asked, feeling horrible. Being there must be a nightmare for him. "We can go outside, and—"

"Itachi's dead. Since I'm here to stay I should probably face my demons." He slowly walked up towards me. "Otherwise, I won't have much of a healthy relationship with our daughter."

"A-All right," I stammered. "Please come in. I can make some tea, and—"

"Don't bother." He stilled when he saw the shoji screens, decorated in cherry blossoms. His eyes narrowed slightly, but he was calm. "This is your doing, I presume?"

"Yes," I said, unashamed of my decorating. "It's a lonesome place with just Tsubaki and me inside. I thought the screens would make it a lot…livelier." I was about to say 'livable', but quickly stopped myself.

Sasuke simply shrugged again and went inside. His steps were stiff as he went into what had been his house, but he quickly relaxed when he saw Tsubaki. He wasted no time in reaching down and scooping her up. Tsubaki looked just as happy to see him.

I watched them with a smile on my face. Even with everything going on, I knew the two of them could work out as father and daughter.

But as for Sasuke and me…I didn't know where we stood.

Sasuke shifted Tsubaki in his arms and turned to me. "Did you give her my old room?"

"Well…" I fidgeted. "I haven't really gone upstairs. We mostly sleep down here."

Sasuke seemed surprised by this. "She can have my room if she wants. It's…undisturbed." Those words seemed to cause him a lot of pain.

"Sasuke-kun—"

"Let me show her it."

"W-wait, what?!" I cried. "You wanna go upstairs?!"

"It's something else I have to face," he said grimly. He said nothing more as he left the room to head for the stairs.

I hurried after them, my stomach in knots. For all his demons, Sasuke seemed rather at ease as he carried Tsubaki upstairs. I hesitantly followed them upstairs. He stopped at the first bedroom we saw; one I knew was his room.

Sasuke opened the door and looked inside neutrally. He stood there in silence for a little while before he spoke. "…It does look the same."

He continued down the hall. I followed him, but paused at his door. It was a standard boy's room for a young boy. Even if it was Sasuke's room, it broke my heart to see it. The last time Sasuke slept in that room, he was still a small boy looking up to his big brother and trying to impress his clan.

But now…

"…Itachi's room," said Sasuke, glancing inside. "…They stripped it bare. Maybe they were looking for clues." He left it like that without another word. I walked straight past Itachi's room without looking inside. I knew it was one of the few rooms in the compound that was completely empty. Even so, I'd sooner drop dead than use it as a bedroom for either myself or Tsubaki.

Sasuke had stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. I knew it was his parent's room; I hadn't dared gone in there.

"Sasuke-kun, maybe we—" I said.

Sasuke ignored me. He looked really sick now. Tsubaki was oblivious to his feelings, chewing on strands of his hair. He took a free hand and reached for the doorknob. His hand was shaking as he did it. After what seemed like forever he grabbed the handle. And turned it. And opened the door.

I looked over his shoulder into the room. His parent's room was another room stripped bare. He didn't step inside, but he looked from the doorway. His eyes were cast downward; he seemed to be looking at the floor.

I wondered if he was reliving that horrible night; if he was seeing their dead bodies. If he was seeing Itachi.

Tsubaki let out a squawking laugh, her tiny hands clawing at Sasuke's hair. Both of us jumped slightly at her outburst and stared at her. Sasuke seemed to be looking at her with some measure of relief. And I think…just for a moment I saw a ghost of a smile cross his face.

"I'll be taking her now," he said evenly. "But I'll bring her back tomorrow evening."

"You can spend as much time with her as you want," I offered meekly. I didn't think one day would be enough for them.

"We'll be fine," said Sasuke, his voice back to its regular tone. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"…All right," I said reluctantly. I gave Tsubaki and quick hug and kiss goodbye before handing her back to Sasuke. But instead of leaving right away, he lingered for a brief moment. He wanted to tell me something!! My mind was racing with any possibilities.

"Thank you," he said finally. "For taking care of her. And for letting me be in her life."

"There's no need for thanks," I said evenly, though my heart was sinking. "I know you love her and she loves you too. It's only right."

Sasuke looked like he wanted to say more to me, but he didn't. He merely nodded to me and headed back downstairs.

I could hear him gather Tsubaki's things, but my eyes went back to his parent's bedroom door. He'd left it open, though probably by accident.

I walked over to the door and glanced in briefly. Even if nothing was inside, it was truly a chilling room. But there was no denying that it was his parent's room.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "For Sasuke-kun."

I closed the door and locked it. I never opened the door again.