Episode 20: The road of blood

The clomping of Aella's hoofs as she carried her two passengers towards a single man whose long since left their field of vision, created a sad and lonely sight. The two persons contrasting each other in everyway bringing a sort of melancholic balance to the situation. The color of the world had been died down as they faced the demons of their minds and the friction of their hearts. Though Ceres rode in front of Xanthe her arms brought her no comfort but rather cold consolidating thoughts. Looking down she'd found that though Eryx's horses hoofs left clear marks in the sand, the imprint of wagon wheels cut in deeper.

Like a scar marred upon the Earth, as cold as time it's self, the desire to reach out and hide it bothered her soul. Along with these marks upon the ground there was the occasional blood splatter here and there and it could not be more symbolic for her. Ceres felt like a hostage in her own mind and body as she very visibly tried to justify Xanthe's tenebrous desire. This went on for some time now, as Eryx was making his way to the coast with them in hot pursuit. Like the days before they failed to gain any real ground on him and had to make camp.

Dropping down from Aella, Xanthe still held herself at a distance as she ordered out.

"I'm going to go hunt, set camp while I'm gone." Ceres had stopped herself from grabbing Xanthe by the arm and simply nodded. Fear was such a word that at that very moment it became so vast but she did as she was told. Gathering the wood in a dreary silence she'd set the fire and started it carefully. Setting the bedrolls she'd found that over time Xanthe had preferred hers a bit farther away from her friend. At that moment a physical wound would have been preferable.

Finally she began taking care of Aella and found to her surprise that beast or not, Aella was more of a comfort to her now more than ever.

"I don't know what to do, Aella, or say…what does one do in this situation?" Setting the saddle on a branch nearby she began to brush her slowly.

"I feel as if I should say something, something to convince her that what she's doing is wrong. Though, when I go to do it I feel as if…it wouldn't be enough, I mean…my understanding compared to hers is miniscule. Her years of experience would most likely beat down any moral thought I try to follow because in the end…reality is so much more difficult to comprehend then one perceives. I should say something though, shouldn't I? I mean…I know it's right but…I'm afraid. Oh…how did things become so…deformed?" Done brushing she'd set it aside and let Aella run to do what she will before returning to camp waiting. Her arms hugging her knees to her chest she'd waited, feeling like more of a child with each passing moment. When Xanthe came walking into camp with a purposeful stride, Ceres jumped, shaken out of thought. Three bunnies tossed at her feet Xanthe inquired loudly.

"Can you do something with those?" Ceres just picked up the creatures and began, the work of skinning and preparing their food came so naturally to, she didn't realize how quickly everything had been done. Soon they were sitting on opposite sides of the fire, slowly chewing and sipping their soup. Finally, the silence tore at her more than her fear of her friends reaction and Ceres found herself speaking up to both of theirs surprise.

"Xanthe…" Her light blue eyes looked up with recognition.

"What?" Ceres stared down at her food uncomfortable slowly picking at it starting what would be one of the more meaningful moments of her life.

"Should we…I mean…we shouldn't be chasing after Eryx."

"Excuse me?"

"What I mean is, it's just…something about this just feels really really wrong."

"Justice rarely feels right, Ceres, but it exists to bring order in the world."

"This doesn't feel like justice though, I mean…it's revenge!" Finally the explosion occurred though it did little more than make Xanthe more fierce and loud in her opposition.

"Revenge, Justice, what do I care what people call it?! It's about Eryx getting his just desserts! About stopping a heartless bastard from ruining more lives like he's ruined mine!" Ceres cringed back from the force in which she spoke and used the moment to calm herself.

"All I'm saying is that maybe…just this once, you try and walk away, not for me but yourself."

"Ceres…when the balance of scales are used for this case, you'll find that letting him go is completely unfair to me. A debt of blood must be paid in full, that is why Nemesis exists. To let his actions slide…it is a heinous crime against the people he harms on a daily basis. Could you honestly tell a slave…whose been beaten and abused in ways grossly inhumane that they should just walk away?"

"N-No I couldn't…"

"So what could you possibly be thinking that you could even pose that question to ME?!" Though she hissed it, the weight of her words fell on Ceres shoulder's like a chain.

"I-I…I just…I-I'm worried about you…" Though this surprised and softened Xanthe's demeanor her stance didn't change.

"Well stop it…there's no need for that." Retreating inside of herself once more Ceres couldn't help but whisper under her breath.

"Why can't you at least…wait…wait until your mind is your own again, your hate has it under arrest." Then a question arose to her that she just had to ask something that gave Xanthe great pause.

"So…if a warlord should…slaughter my family then the appropriate thing to do would be to slaughter his, right?" Xanthe visibly sucked in her breath the chill of the moment making her meet Ceres eyes with clear thought.

"T-That…doesn't seem correct Ceres…"

"Isn't it though? If the right punishment is an eye for an eye, to cause him the same amount of pain he's caused me, then invariably this is a proportional punishment."

"…still…his family would be innocent, Ceres, to kill them would put you on the same level as him."

"If it weren't out of response, you said it yourself…so it wouldn't matter. I just hope something like that doesn't happen to me then…I don't know if I'd be able to do it."

"I wouldn't let you."

"That's unfair though, so…you can get revenge on Eryx for TRYING to kill you and yet…if someone actually murdered my family, you wouldn't allow me the same justice?"

"I wouldn't go after his family! I'd go after him! And no I wouldn't…the second you kill you…!" Xanthe had shivered revealing quietly just loud enough for Ceres to hear.

"You lose a part of yourself every time you kill someone…you don't think about it when you go to do it and are in the process but afterward…the guilt…you could not imagine. Y-You don't deserve that kind of pain…"

"So what would the proper justice be, Xanthe? If killing his family isn't the answer; so killing him is the answer?" Xanthe began to show great signs of discomfort as the anger began to clear from her mind, shaking her head.

"The proper thing to do would be to arrest him and hand him over to the local government so THEY could put them to proper justice."

"But not when it comes to Eryx…?" Xanthe frowned looking away from Ceres stare retorting.

"This is different, I MADE Eryx the way he is, I should be the one to finish him."

"But you said before that he also had to choose the road he'd take, why do you keep wavering in your convictions?"

"Because sometimes Ceres the only way to get things done in this world is for you to push yourself!"

"And so we're back to square one…"

"No we're not, no one person can bring Eryx in and I'm not just saying that out of a sense of responsibility. Eryx is good, hell he's great at what he does and I'm the only one who knows how he works. If he gets away, it'll be that much more difficult to bring him to justice the next time! I'm not willing to let it slide any further…I've got the kill in my sight I'm going to take it, that's a warriors job." Ceres frowned turning away from Xanthe's gaze saying.

"Fine, just as long as…you're alright." Xanthe calmed down but kept her eyes on Ceres before another kind of guilt set in. Sighing she rubbed the back of her neck unsure of how to start.

"Ceres…"

"Yes?"

"Listen, I'm sorry for…snapping at you earlier but this isn't…exactly this easiest conversation for me to have."

"I know…I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, no you were right in bringing it up…it got quite a few problems out of the way it seems. Listen I just…I can't explain it to you in words, there are some situations that…when you're faced with them. Only instinctively can you really know how to deal with them, this is one of them for me. It's true…I want revenge but that cannot be helped, not after what he did to me. I just can't let him go, I can't let him fall any further, as my enemy and as my brother…I have to stop him." Ceres gave a sympathetic stare in response before asking.

"Could you really kill your own brother?"

"I'm capable of it and…if Eryx could kill me then I guess somewhere inside of me…I'm able to kill him as well."

"So I guess not everything can be dealt with mercy and compassion."

"Mercy and Compassion are great ideas but in the event that their usefulness is refutable only justice can prevail. When Mercy becomes an escape route on the offset that the guilty are caught and when compassion becomes complacency, unfortunately, only a forceful nature…can deal with those of evil nature."

"It's too sad but…it's true."

"That it is…" Standing up Xanthe walked over to sit down next to Ceres on her bed roll and hold her in a comforting hug.

"Rarely does the truth ever really make anyone smile these days but it is the only thing that can possibly let people deal with things in a more appropriate manner."

"So I was wrong…there are days I wonder if I'm crafting fairytales in place of what is right and what is wrong and how they're dealt with."

"You weren't wrong, Ceres, and I'm sorry I ever gave you that impression. The worlds…it's just not as black and white as everybody thinks it is sometimes, hardly anybody knows what to do with gray. I'm not entirely right myself, Justice is a noble idea but that's just it, it's an idea. An ideas don't always strive for the righteous in this world, Justice itself has a lesser form known as vengeance…and that makes even less sense."

"So how does one keep it all straight?"

"I don't think…that anyone really does, Ceres."

"Ideally, I wouldn't be the one hunting Eryx down but as he is my brother there is no other route that I can possibly take. If he weren't my brother…I'd would've passed this onto someone more detached from the matter to handle it more properly, like Hercules. There's just so much hate inside of me…so much anger, embedded into my flesh and my soul, a curse placed upon me from shameful bastards. Each kill adds to this but it is not just a hate of their kind but of my self and it only becomes bigger and bigger. Knowing that it is there and knowing who it was them that placed it inside of me, only makes it worse."

"S-So then…how do you deal with it? I-I mean…if that's not too personal a question."

"Aha, that's an easy one…I look to you…whenever I need to answer a personal question that I can't solve, I ask myself what you would do."

"Me? But…but I-I'm so…confused on the subject matter myself."

"True no one has the answers but the answers you have for questions usually come from a selfless place and that's always the best place to start." Ceres gave a small smile, the first time in a long time that it came from the heart. Xanthe in return smiled however resentful it may have been you could not mistake the warmth it held.

"Listen…if we manage to catch up to Eryx…"

"Don't even start, I'm coming with you."

"Ceres…"

"Xanthe, look…I can't just keep running and hiding every time something scares me or challenges my strength. Besides friends don't let friends go through personally hard ventures by themselves, it's too cruel."

"I'll remember that when you're on a personal journey and telling me to go for my safety."

"Sure, Sure but that seems quite a bit a ways away…besides, secretly, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Not so much of a secret now." The two grinned taking in the light silence and soaked it up, the previous heaviness seemed to have lifted but still hung in the air. Going back to her bed roll, the fell asleep for the night. The morning had them packing furiously and jumping atop a disgruntled and grumpy Aella who immediately knew the toll. Taking off once more they followed after Eryx, though the world still seemed to possess a grey quality about it, there was a sense of learning to it that hadn't existed before. As they galloped one, thought of how they were going to deal with Eryx if they caught up with him surfaced in Ceres mind.

Try as she might, they were more vivid than the nightmares that she'd dreamed nights before. Shivering quietly, the awareness of the day barely setting in dawned on her and she had come to cherish the days that had simple problems solved with simple beatings. Rising before them, the sun beaming behind it now, arose a port city. Though Ceres celebrated on the inside she also felt a guilty crushing blow at the thought of all the people he'd live to hurt. Glancing up at Xanthe's face a much more desperate and pained expression replaced the determined one she'd wore only a few minutes ago.

"Xanthe…"

"Not yet…not until we see for ourselves!" The pure emotion in her voice could've hushed even the hardest individual. Looking ahead sadly Ceres knew the outcome in her heart and shook her head disappointed. Though she knew Xanthe must've felt something similar she also knew the scales of their pain would be vastly different. Plowing through the city streets at a speed dangerous for individuals, Ceres couldn't help but feel an adrenaline rush spiked with fear. Clomping onto the docks they stared off at a departed boat knowing Eryx had gotten away.

Letting Ceres down from the horse she then slung herself off quickly running onto the docks as if to chase after. Ceres watched as she stood there panting and staring after with mixed emotions. Quietly she walked up to Xanthe's side at first unable to speak.

"Xanthe…I…I'm so sorry." Looking down still breathing heavily Xanthe placed her hands on her hips pacing back and forth before coming to a stop.

"He got away." Though it was an obvious statement, the emotion behind it alluded to the sense of failure she felt. Ceres stood there, listening as Xanthe continued to speak guided on by her sense of loss.

"I-I…really thought I had him this time, I thought…that this would be it, you know? I'd finally be able to bring all of it to an end but…he got away." An outburst of anger she threw whatever she could find after the ship into the sea and soon found herself screaming after him. Worried Ceres came up to her side touching her arm gently.

"Xanthe…" Looking down at Ceres she'd began to gather herself and closed her eyes breathing in and out slowly.

"I-I guess it's back to normal isn't it?"

"I'm not quite sure what that is anymore." Xanthe sighed and alongside Ceres walked off the docks hitting the city streets with Aella.

Xanthe- "One day, this obstacle will reach an end…and I'll be there for it."

Ceres- "On that day, I'd found that slaves come in all forms and the most common slave is the person chained by their hate. A road of blood that can only be broken by the sincerest form of mercy, a mercy so rare I've come to doubt it's existence. Often I've found that there is no real horizon at the end of the road of blood but an abrupt end when it marks an individual."