KH 358/2 Days: Phoenix's Fate

Chapter 20

Depression

Day by day, when she went on missions, she felt herself becoming even weaker when she thought about Roxas.

The red haired nobody sat at the table at her usual seat. She looked up across her and sighed. Roxas would sit opposite her and would always smile whenever no one was looking. It was as if he was there and he waved at her.

"You have not touched your food yet, no.14." Xemnas snapped her out of daze and she nodded. She picked her fork and just as she was about to touch her food someone rose the subject; Roxas.

"Do you think Roxas will wake up?" Demyx asked and Axel noticed his sister's behaviour. She stared at the table and didn't move, her face showed no emotion but her eyes would make it so obvious of her feelings. The pyro slapped the back of Demyx head.

"Of course he will, stop being so pessimistic jerk!" Demyx rubbed the place where Axel smacked him.

"What? What does that mean?"

"Being negative, Demyx." Thomas answered and the blonde haired boy's mouth formed an 'O'.

"It sure doesn't seem the same without him." Demyx said and Phoenix agreed with him internally.

"I wonder what caused him to go into a coma." Xigbar said out loud and Phoenix stood up. They all stared at her; it was as if she was a lifeless doll, without any emotion whatsoever. The green eyed girl turned around.

"Phoenix, you have not eaten." She didn't face him and raised her hand.

"Forgive me, superior. I do not wish to eat." She mumbled and opened a portal to her room.

Phoenix walked straight into the bathroom. She looked up at her reflection and Kura's words echoed.

"Of course you're not. Have you looked at the mirror lately? You look terrible!"

Phoenix face was much paler than before. She looked like she hasn't slept in weeks. She had slightly dark bags under her eyes. Her green eyes were bloodshot red from crying all the time and her cheeks were puffy. The nobody raised her hands up to her hairband and took it out. Her long red hair fell down to her waist and stared at her reflection. She blinked and looked down.

Next to the sink was a pair of silver scissors. Slowly, Phoenix picked them up and gazed into it. Then she glanced back at her reflection and back to the scissors. Her eyebrows furrowed together. The red haired nobody took a handful of all her hair. She closed her green eyes and sniffed as the tears fell down her cheek. Snip, red hair fell down to the ground and so did the scissors.

Phoenix opened her eyes and looked at the mirror; her hair was short, chin length. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. She cleared up the mess and went to her room again. The green eyed girl decided to wear her hood.

8 hours later…

Knock-knock.

"Come in." Phoenix mumbled and the door opened to reveal Demyx. When his blue-green eyes fell on Phoenix he shrieked and gasped.

"Who's there?" The hooded girl looked up at Demyx.

"It's only me, Phoenix." She answered blankly and he sighed with relief. "What do you want?"

"Oh, well, it's dinner time." He said cheerfully.

"Your point being?"

"You need to come and eat!" Demyx slurred and Phoenix placed her hand onto her stomach.

"I, I don't want to go downstairs." The blonde mullet nobody frowned at this.

"If you want, I can bring your food and I'll eat with you." The red haired girl wanted to smile and giggle at this but couldn't. She stood up and walked up to him.

"I'm not hungry, Demyx." He sighed deeply at this. "But, thank you anyway. You're really sweet." She wrapped her arms around him and his eyes widened at this. Then he fully understood all this; Phoenix was missing Roxas. Demyx wrapped his arms around her and returned the hug.

"You miss him, don't you?" She nodded as a tear fell down her cheek. "Don't worry, he'll be fine." After a few minutes, the nobody left her alone and she got changed. Phoenix got onto the bed and didn't even face Roxas. If she did, she would crack and let all her emotions free which would cause her to either have a breakdown or end up in a coma.

Weeks, passed by and Phoenix barely ate anything. The only things she had was water and elixir, which was extremely detrimental for her. She was losing so much weight, that her bones were visible through her skin and that her cheeks weren't normal, her cheekbones were also visible. She would tremble sometimes, either because she was cold or out of drinking too much elixir.

She came back from another mission and it seemed that Thomas and Xion had to protect her from Heartless, because she didn't have a weapon and was weak without Roxas. Phoenix was just about to RTC like the other two, but looked up at the Clock Tower. It had been such a long time since she's gone up there. So she bought sea salt ice cream and walked up to the top of the Clock Tower and saw her brother.

"Axel…" She mumbled and sat down next to him.

"Phoenix, it's been so long, since you've been here." Axel stated.

"Yes, I know." Phoenix said quietly and took a bite out of her ice cream.

"I want to ask you something." She took another bite from her ice cream and swallowed it. The red haired girl looked up at the sunset.

"If it's anything about…him then please, don't." Axel shook his head.

"No, it's not. I just wanted to ask, why are you wearing that hood on? It's freaking a few nobodies, dusks and me out."

She sighed at this and said "I have my reasons." Phoenix gripped onto her hood and pulled it down. Axel's green eyes widened at this and he gasped. She looked so different, very different, and too different. Phoenix on the other hand, looked away and mumbled, "I look awful."

"Why did you cut your hair, Phoenix?" She looked up at him and smiled woefully.

"This is what happens when you're depressed." He frowned at this.

"You haven't been eating lately." She averted her eyes to her hands and sighed. "What have you been living off, except from this ice cream?" Phoenix went quiet and she felt Axel hold her hand. "Tell me, now. I'm your brother." He squeezed her hand and she sighed with defeat.

"I drink water and…elixir." She whispered but he heard.

"Do you know how dangerous it is to drink elixir?!" He roared and pulled her up.

"Where are we going?" She asked and he opened a portal to the Castle.

"Come on, I'm going to make you eat, whether you like it or not." He dragged her to the kitchen table. Demyx, Thomas, Xigbar and Luxord were hanging around there and gasped at the sight of Phoenix.

"Who the hell is that, Axel?!" Xigbar pointed at Phoenix and she growled.

"Are you blind, jerk?!" Phoenix shouted and then he knew who it was. She sat down on the chair where Xemnas usually sat. Axel went in and came out of the kitchen, with a bowl of noodles with eggs and vegetables and a fork. He placed it in front of her and she looked at it, then at Axel and then at the bowl.

"It's not burnt…you didn't make this did you?" She asked and the others snickered at this. Axel went red and gulped.

"Uh, Thomas made it yesterday." She looked up at the brown haired nobody who smiled at her.

"Thank Kingdom Hearts." Demyx shivered at this.

"Hey! What are you trying to imply?!" Axel asked and Phoenix picked up the fork. She had a bite and smiled.

"It's very nice, but I think I've had enough now."

"No, you think. Come on eat some more. I know you can." Her brother said and she sighed with a nod. She started eating more and whilst eating they watched her. After a few minutes, Phoenix placed her fork down and put her hand onto her stomach.

"I'm full." She declared and they looked at her bowl. Phoenix ate only a quarter of her food, not even half.

"Phoenix." They all said and they didn't look amused at all.

"I can't eat anymore!" She whined and Axel glared.

"Eat, now!" Phoenix pouted at this and started eating more but slowly. When she finally ate half the red haired nobody put her fork down. "Better, now if you eat just a bit more, then we'll be very happy." Axel said and she shook her head.

Thomas stared at Phoenix, she didn't look too good. She was a different kind of pale, a very pale green. Axel picked up the fork with some food and it was near her mouth. "Come on, open wide!" Suddenly, Phoenix covered her mouth, got up and pushed the bowl. It fell to the ground and she ran off. They followed her to her room and she slammed the bathroom door in their faces and started throwing up.

After ten minutes, Phoenix gargled and brushed her teeth. She got out of the room and looked at them with a frown. "I told you guys, I was full." They sighed at this and looked down feeling bad.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Thank you for your support. I appreciate it, really. But, I think it's time we all rest." Phoenix said and they agreed with this. They said goodbye and Axel stayed in the room. His sister got dressed in the bathroom and came out of her room.

"It's really cold." She stated whilst shivering. Axel walked up to her and shook his head.

"No, you're really cold, and I know why." She looked at the ground and he wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him and started to cry on his shoulder.

"Axel, do you think I should leave the Organisation, should I leave Roxas?" She asked and he flinched at this.

"What makes you ask?"

"I'm just wondering." He sighed at this.

"Personally, I don't want you to leave. But if you think it's right, then go for it." He wished that he didn't say that. She nodded at this and he pulled away from her with a sad smile. A tear fell down his cheek and she noticed this. Phoenix wiped the tear away.

"Axel, I love you." She said.

"I love you too, sis." He kissed her forehead and left. She frowned and looked at the ground.

"To make your brother cry, that's sad. But to make the two people you love the most suffer, is unforgivable." She looked down at her palm and clenched it into a fist as it starting trembling with self-hatred. "The one who deserves to suffer and all the pain in the world is me." Phoenix grinded her teeth together as the tears fell to the ground. "It would be much better, if I left."

She walked into the bathroom and got changed again. Phoenix got out of the bathroom and made her way to Roxas, who was still sleeping soundly. She sat on the bed next to him and sighed. "I've made you suffer so much. I've made feel so much pain." She held onto his hands and squeezed then as the tears fell like a waterfall.

"I'm sorry. But, our friendship has to come to an end. I'm not doing this for just me; I'm doing it for you too. I don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't ever want to hurt you. Someday, I hope you'll forgive me and forget me. I want you to live in peace, as if I never existed."

She took one of the last few breathe and a final tear was brimming in her eye. "…because I never truly existed…did I?"

"When you wake up, take care of yourself, I love you." She kissed his cheek, stood up and turned around. Phoenix raised her hand and just as she was about to open a Corridor of Darkness she stopped.

A girl stood with her back to her, she was a ghost. Her hair was curly and red. She wore a red and white striped tank top and shorts. "Friendship, is something that you should never let go of easily." She said and Phoenix realised that was the same girl from the memory on the island.

"So much has happened, my friends have hurt me so much, but I've never let go of them, no matter what. Just remembered what you said to him." She faded away and Phoenix closed her eyes.

"I'm with you as well, so you shouldn't be scared. I'll always be with you." She held her hand up for him and he shook her hand with pink cheeks.

Phoenix smiled at this memory and turned to him. "Roxas…I'm so sorry."

She started to sob and stroked his cheek lovingly. The red haired nobody fell to her knees and had an emotional breakdown. She cried and screamed on his chest. She only wanted and wished for one thing at that moment. She didn't want him to love her or notice her. All Phoenix wanted, no, needed was for Roxas to wake up.

Thank you, 'Riilustra -Your Sweetest SIN' for helping me with the ending! Please review!

~Parisa01