Author: Raven Shadowrose

Title: The Ties That Bind

Rating: M

Pairing: Hannah/Dixie, ?/?

Summary: Sequel to Moving On, Hannah and Dixie are about to get married, what events will follow?

Disclaimer: I do not know or own any characters or parts you may recognise from the TV show Casualty, all original characters and the story are mine and I do not give permission for them to be used.

A/N: There will be some femslash in this story, if you do not wish to read it then by all means leave the way you came, other than that, enjoy. I think there's a Casualty episode that is called the ties that bind, this story is nothing to do with that episode. Reviews are welcome :)

Thank you to chan. nelson444, olivia. c. king1 and beethovenRIP for your lovely reviews and support so far, it means a lot :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter, it wasn't easy to write by any means.

Chapter Twenty.

Christmas and new year had passed quickly for everyone, Jeff had spent the days with Sophia and John, he had enjoyed the time that he spent with his children. He had talked to them about the possibility of helping Hannah and Dixie have a baby and got their opinion on it. Cyd had gone home for Christmas and Polly had spent some of it with Hannah and Dixie to give Jeff some time with Sophia and John. Hannah had gone and got her new tattoo, it consisted of two intertwined pale blue roses on her stomach and the date that she had got married to Dixie underneath them. Dixie had watched her get it done and she would often trace the markings that now adorned Hannah's skin. Hannah had chosen the left side of her stomach as the place for the tattoo as she wanted Dixie to be the only person that was able to see it whenever she wanted to. Everyone was now back at work and the excitement of Christmas, presents and the new year had begun to die down. Dixie wondered if Jeff had made his decision, he had asked to talk to her at the end of the shift so she came to the conclusion that he must have. He'd asked her to meet him in the garden at the side of the hospital. She got herself changed and then turned to Hannah who was sat on the bench in her own clothes. 'Do you mind waiting for me?'

'Not at all, I'll sit with Polly in the rec room, if you two come and find us when you're done talking then we can go home or whatever you want to do.'

'Okay, we will do.' Dixie hugged Hannah and then she left the changing rooms, she would respect Jeff's decision no matter what he said. She understood that it had been hard for Jeff to make the decision and probably even harder to summon the courage to ask her to meet with him so that he could tell her what he had decided.

Jeff looked around the garden, he was nervous about telling Dixie his decision, it hadn't been easy to make it, but, he had and now he had to tell her. He thought that it would be easier to tell Dixie by herself and then she could tell Hannah. Jeff spotted Dixie coming in to the garden, he stood up and he smiled at her as she approached. 'Hi mate, Hannah and Polly are waiting for us in the rec room when we're finished. I suppose you've called me here because you've made your decision.' Dixie sat down and Jeff sat next to her.

'I have.'

'So, what is it?' Jeff took a deep breath and he looked around the garden again, it was hard for him to be here, he had been fighting with his conscience ever since he had made his decision. 'As you know I've just started seeing Sophia and John again, we're rebuilding our relationship and I am trying my best to spend as much time as I can with them. I talked to them and they were okay with me helping you and Hannah to have a baby. They would have been quite happy to have a half brother or sister. I have thought long and hard about this Dix, I really have.'

'There's a but coming, isn't there.'

'Dixie, I'm sorry, I do want to help you to have a baby, but, I don't think it is the right time for me to do so. I am still working on a few things to do with myself and I don't think that I could give you and Hannah the support that you both would need throughout the pregnancy. I know it sounds selfish, but, I need to sort myself out first. You know as well as I do that I've been struggling with myself lately, it wouldn't be right for me to do this when I'm not in the right frame of mind.'

'Okay, no problem.'

'You're disappointed, aren't you?'

'No, not at all.'

'Anyone that hadn't known you for as long as I have might believe that, but, I don't. I can hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes.'

'It's all right, really, you're still my best friend.'

'I'm not saying no, I'm saying not now.'

'I understand, you have good reasons.' Jeff looked at Dixie, he saw the disappointment in her eyes and he felt guilty, he knew how much she wanted to have a baby and he felt as if he was letting her down somehow. 'I am sorry Dixie.'

'It's okay, I'm just glad you feel that you can tell me.' Jeff nodded, he knew that Dixie was trying to put a brave face on for him so that he wouldn't feel so bad about turning her down.

Dixie felt a bit sad, she couldn't deny that Jeff had good reasons for turning her down, he hadn't been himself for some time and he was obviously still working through some issues despite the progress that he had made. There had always been a part of her that hoped Jeff would agree to helping her and Hannah out. She didn't want him to feel bad or guilty about his decision, he was right, he did have to work on himself first. Then there was Sophia and John to think about, he had just started seeing them again and she didn't want to come between them. Jeff had wanted to see them again for so long and now he had that chance, she didn't want to stop him from being a dad to them by bringing a new baby into the world that would need a lot of attention. 'Dix?' Jeff's voice distracted Dixie from her thoughts and she turned to look at him. 'I'm sorry princess.'

'Jeff, it's all right. I wondered if it was too soon for you.'

'I feel like I'm letting you down, that I've dashed all of your hopes and dreams.'

'You haven't, we'll still be able to have a baby with a donor from a sperm bank.'

'You're still going ahead?'

'Yeah, I don't have much time to have a child, if I want a baby then it has to be now. The process will take some time and if I leave it any later then my eggs might not be viable. As it stands I only have an eighteen per cent chance of the IVF working now.'

'I understand, you should do it now, I wouldn't want you to wait for me to be ready and miss out on your chance. You will make a wonderful mother Dixie, I know it.'

'Thanks Jeff.'

'Come here princess.' Dixie let Jeff hug her, she knew that it must have hard for him to come here and tell her that he couldn't help her right now. He had been honest with her and she respected him for that. Dixie stood up after Jeff had finished hugging her and she smiled at him, she was trying her best to keep her promise of respecting his decision. 'Come on, let's go.' Dixie headed back to the station and tried her best to stop the sad feelings creeping up inside of her.

Hannah knew from the look on Dixie's face that Jeff hadn't agreed to their request, she saw the disappointment in her eyes and she knew that Jeff could see it too. Neither of them looked happy and Jeff had a guilty look on his face. Dixie's friendship meant everything to Jeff and it must have taken him a lot of soul searching to turn her down. They had talked a lot and Dixie had taught Jeff about reciprocal IVF, he had asked lots of questions and taken in a lot of information about the process and his involvement had he agreed to help them. Dixie sat down and Hannah squeezed her hand, she looked a bit sad and emotional. 'Polly, Jeff, could you leave us alone for a little while.' Hannah wanted to talk to Dixie and she thought that it might be easier if they were alone. Polly and Jeff nodded their agreement and Hannah waited until they had left room before she started talking. 'Jeff said no, didn't he?' Dixie nodded. 'How are you feeling?'

'I don't know, I am trying to accept his decision, but, it makes me feel sad.'

'That's natural, it's okay for you to feel sad.'

'I thought that by asking Jeff to help us it would make him feel better, that it would let him know that someone out there thinks that he is a good man and trusts him to be the father of their child.'

'Dixie, Jeff knows you trust him and that you love him a great deal.'

'I think I did wrong in asking him to help us now, he's still going through some stuff and I should have waited. What if I have made him worse? I know he feels guilty about saying he can't help us.' Hannah moved closer and put her arms around Dixie.

'Everything will be fine, you two are the strongest friends I have ever come across.' Hannah just held Dixie in her arms, she had to be strong for her now.

Jeff looked over at the rec room door again, he sighed and turned his attention back to the wall that he had been staring at. 'Jeff, why did you say no to Dixie and Hannah?'

'I just can't do it right now, there's so much going on in my life that I wouldn't be able to give them the support that they would need through all of this.'

'I know. You feel guilty, don't you? I can see it in your eyes.'

'I do, quite a bit actually, I would feel worse if I agreed to help them and then had to say that I couldn't do it further down the line. Dixie deserves to be a mum and I can't hold her back Polly. Her chances are better if she does it now. She can't wait for me to be ready, it would break my heart and hers if she waited for me and then found out that she couldn't be a mum as the chances of Hannah getting pregnant with Dixie's eggs were too low. It is in her best interests if she gets another donor.'

'Does she know that, have you told her?'

'No, I have told her that I can't do it right now. Maybe one day I will be ready, but, I don't want her to wait for me to be ready. I am doing the best that I can for her by telling her I'm not ready.'

'Of course you are.'

'I feel like I've let her down.'

'You haven't, I know Dixie and she will still be your friend and your shift partner.' Jeff tried to smile at Polly, but, he was finding it hard. He had made Dixie sad, he had seen it in her eyes and it was a look that he hadn't seen for a while.

Hannah quietly closed the rec room door and she went over to where Jeff and Polly were sat, she wanted to have a word with Jeff. She had talked with Dixie and once she'd had a few days to get used to Jeff not being their donor then they would go to the clinic and start their treatment so that they would be able to get pregnant. 'Polly, could you sit with Dixie for me?'

'Sure, see you soon.' Polly went into the rec room and Hannah stood in front of Jeff.

'Do you hate me?'

'Of course not, Dixie told me your reasons and I do understand them.'

'What will you do now?'

'We have other options and we will pursue them.'

'Okay. Hannah, I'm sorry.'

'It's all right, I appreciate how much thought and time you gave to our request.'

'How is Dixie taking it?'

'She's all right. I won't deny that she is a bit sad and she thinks that she did the wrong thing by asking you to help us.'

'She does? I was honoured to be asked to do something so important as help you two to have a baby, just because I can't help you doesn't mean I wasn't pleased to be asked.'

'You should tell her that.'

'I will.' Jeff stood up and he went over to the rec room and Hannah followed him.

Dixie looked up as Jeff came into the rec room and she closed her eyes as he hugged her, she put her arms around him and took comfort from his warmth. 'Dix, you didn't do wrong by asking me to help you have a baby. You're my best friend and I am so honoured that you asked me. I only wish that I could have granted your request. I do know that you are going to make a wonderful mother and Hannah will too.'

'Do you mean that?'

'Of course I do princess. Don't give up on your dream of having a baby.'

'I won't.'

'Good, I want to be an uncle to that beautiful baby of yours.'

'Count on it.' Dixie hugged Jeff tighter and she breathed deeply. 'I'm glad you're my best friend Jeff.'

'Always, princess, no matter what.' Dixie slowly untangled herself from Jeff's embrace and she smiled at him.

'I'll always be your best friend too.'

'That's good to know.' Dixie held her hand out to Hannah and she hugged her when Hannah got close enough. It had been a sad day because Jeff felt he wasn't able to help them and she was still feeling a bit emotional from the news he couldn't help her right now, but, she still had her friends and the woman she loved with her. It was going to be an emotional journey to have a baby, but, one that she was willing to undertake, she wanted to be a mum and have a family with Hannah. Dixie looked around at the all of the people in the room; Jeff, Polly and Hannah, she was lucky to have them all.