Hi everyone! The inspiration for today's episode came from my little brother Dale, but I feel I haven't really done it justice. On a more positive note, my winter holidays started yesterday, so I'll have more time to write!

Title: Kido Lessons

Featuring: Ichigo, Renji, Urahara

"So, you make up some lame poem and hope for the best?" Ichigo asked sceptically.

"No!" Renji roared. He sighed in exasperation. "Can't you ever get anything right? Kido uses a chant to focus your spiritual energy before you release it."

"If it's so easy, how come you never use it?" Ichigo asked with a smug smirk.

"Shut up!" Renji yelled. "Why do you even want to learn it?"

Ichigo's smirk immediately became a frown. "The midget was having a go at me about it," he muttered angrily.

"Anyway, we'll start with something a little harder than usual so we don't blow up Urahara-san's basement," Renji said, gulping a little. He knew what Rukia could be like if she had the upper hand. "With your control, even something as simple as Byakurei could be trouble."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ichigo growled. "My control's fine!"

"Instead, we'll try Shakahou," Renji continued, ignoring Ichigo's outburst. "The incantation is this: Ye lord, mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man, inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south. Then you say the number and name of the spell, which is Way of Destruction 31, Shakahou. Got it?"

Ichigo stared at him for a second. "How the hell am I supposed to remember all that?" he finally exclaimed. "After just hearing it once, you expect me to know it?"

"Don't you ever listen when Rukia uses this?" Renji asked.

"I'm usually too busy trying not to be cut in half!" Ichigo retorted. "While she's off writing bad poetry, I'm protecting her from having her head ripped off!"

"Just try it!" Renji ordered.

x

Ten minutes later, all Ichigo had managed was to burn his fingers twice. He found it hard enough to memorise the incantation, but gathering his reiatsu to his hand and holding it there at the same time was proving nearly impossible.

"Maybe you should just try it without the spell," Renji finally suggested. "It won't be as powerful, but it might give you a chance at it."

"If you and the midget can manage this, then I can too!" Ichigo flared up.

He closed his eyes, and beads of sweat began to roll down his forehead as he started to gather his reiatsu. "Right, let's go! Hey lord, hiding behind your skin and blood, the world flapping around, you who calls yourself a man, complete chaos, waves of the crashing sea marching north. Way of Destruction 30-something, Shakahou!"

x

At the sound of a massive explosion, Urahara came down the stairs and began giggling. "My, you two certainly are a mess!" he said cheerfully, looking at the two blackened shinigami. "It seems Kurosaki-san is even worse than Abarai-san at kido!"

After he had gone, still giggling, Ichigo looked over at Renji. "If you tell Rukia about this, I'm going to shave off what's left of your hair and glue it to your face. Got it?"

"Whatever you say," Renji said, a smirk appearing on his face and growing wider by the second before he gave up and burst out laughing. "Baldy!"

For those of you who don't watch the Japanese version, Shakahou is... Red Flame Cannon is the translation, I think. Anyway, it's the big red fireball thingy. Thanks for reading!