AN: Hi, folks! So it's been another month and I'm awfully sorry about it, but it was a hard time for me with my exams and some personal problems as well and I just couldn't bring myself to even log in on this and update the story and for that I have to ask you to forgive me. But I've kind of came to my senses and saw a review asking me to come and update and now I felt like doing so.

Here it is, a new chapter. It's more of a fill in chapter, that will shape things for what is going to happen in the future chapters. So don't you worry because I'm not letting go of this story; it's not my type to start doing something and then give up on it. Enjoy this chapter and please review, it will make me feel better about posting this.

You have faded my reality like leaves that turn to dust

Fell asleep inside a fantasy and woke up feeling lost

Now I'm terrified and restless but I just cannot escape

I wish you had words to cool this fever that is killing me

Elena was playing with her hair as she wrote the final phrase of the chapter. Another one was done. Now, there were about ten more left. In the passed months she was determined to write more, to do more for herself; so she did. She told Damon they had to stop sleeping together, she broke her own heart and then healed it, she broke her promise to never hurt him and she did.

She did all of those things and she regretted just one; that somehow, she managed to push him away. They weren't hanging out anymore. They saw each other everyday at work, but their relationship was strictly professional and it pained her that she had been so cruel. Even Caroline has been asking her to spend more time with her and Stefan. She didn't want to, as she knew Damon was close every time. She couldn't allow herself to get close to him again and once again, to be caught in that trap.

Once was enough, she was sure of that. And there she was now, three months after the day she told him she wanted them to stop whatever sick relationship they had; three months after she had lost one of her best friends. She kept telling herself that it was for the best and somehow, the feeling stopped growing, but they hadn't come back at all. She wondered if she would ever be able to feel just pure plain affection towards him and not something more, something twisted in so many ways.

Caroline had chosen to have her engagement party on the first of May, meaning today. Elena already had chosen the clothes she was going to wear to this event that was going to be at a big, radiant restaurant in the centre. She walked around the house wearing just her underwear, looking for a suitable pair of shoes for her light blue lace dress. It was knee-length and it had a pretty white ribbon at the waist. She slipped on the dress and carefully zipped it up on the side, then looked at the white Louboutins. Yes, Caroline was going to be proud of her elegant look. She pulled her hair into a perfectly arranged bun and applied a fresh coat of mascara and with that, she was ready.

As ready as she was physically, that little she was mentally. She had no idea how she was going to stay around Damon for five hours, sitting next to him as the couple gushed about their dream wedding. It was going to be pure torture.

Without thinking too much about it, Elena headed for the door and took her purse, not bothering to go back and check if she turned off all the lights or the TV. She slowly made her way downstairs and stopped in front of the building, looking for the taxi she requested a few minutes ago. Without too much trouble, she saw the driver waiting for her at the corner of the building and she headed towards the car, as fast as she could.

The ride to the restaurant didn't take long; there wasn't as much traffic as she expected there to be. Instead, when she arrived, she was taken aback from the multitude of cars in the parking lot of the restaurant. She hoped those people weren't there only for Caroline, because she told her there were only some friends of hers coming and Stefan, Damon, Giuseppe and herself. But in the last minute, she called Elena and told her that Giuseppe couldn't make it. To be honest, Elena was glad he wouldn't be there. She didn't know how, but she managed to avoid meeting him all this time. And if she had to have him in front of her now, she would've had a hard time to manage her fury and not choke him with her bare hands for hurting his own son.

She strolled down the long hallway and opened the doors to the big hall, that was full of people. She spotted the table reserved for Caroline and Stefan just as a waitress walked towards them with a tray full of drinks. Elena made her way to the table and her legs softened when she saw Damon appear from the corner; she had seen him everyday at work, but seeing him like this, dressed in a perfectly dark gray suit with a white shirt and without a tie, with the first two buttons opened to allow the curious eyes to take a peak at him was more than simply affecting her. She had to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat at the sight of him and continued her walk towards the table.

"Good evening." She said and smiled sweetly at the people gathered there for Caroline and Stefan. Damon's head snapped up when she spoke and their eyes locked for a moment and when the people responded, she wasn't paying attention; she was drowning in the blue ocean of his eyes.

"Good evening, Damon."

"Elena." He simply nodded and took his place next to his brother and she sat opposite him, next to Caroline, who stopped talking to the others and turned to her.

"Elena, you look gorgeous. You're going to hook all of the men at my wedding." She blushed as her friend was complimenting her on her good choice of clothes and she looked at Damon, who was engaged in a conversation with one of his associates, that was also a friend of Stefan's.

Elena looked down at the plate that the waitress just brought her and she realized that she wasn't hungry at all; maybe it was all the people making her nervous or the fact that Damon didn't even ask her how she was. As everyone was eating their food, she pulled out her phone and messaged Bonnie, who was on the other side of the table.

'Bon, what do I do? He's not even looking at me.' Her reply came shortly after she hit the send button.

'Give him some time, 'Lena.'

'It's been three months, Bonnie, and he still doesn't talk to me about anything else but work problems.'

'Then talk to him.'

'And what do I tell him?'

'Just explain him why you ended things.'

'Explain what? How I was afraid to fall for him? He'll hate me even more than he already does, Bon. I told him then that this wasn't a good idea, that I wanted to find a man who would love me and I'd love him back.'

'Then stick to this. Just pick your words carefully. xx' Elena sighed and put her phone back into her purse. She looked over to Damon who was sipping from his eternal glass of bourbon and laughing with...a woman. When the hell did she land in the chair next to him?Just earlier there was someone she knew from the office there and now there was this girl and they seemed to know each other, because Damon was whispering in her ear and she was laughing out loud.

Elena felt her blood boiling inside her body and she had to do something to stop whatever was happening between Damon and that woman. She sat up and made the three steps necessary to get to him and carefully slipped her tiny hand on his shoulder.

"May I have a word with you, Damon?" His head turned in her direction and she had to put her hand on his chair because the look he was giving her was turning her legs into jelly.

"I'm kind of busy right now, Elena. Can it wait?"

"Actually, I'm about to leave but I wanted to talk to you first." She said and when he stood up she made her way into the restrooms, having him after her.

"What's so important that you had to make me follow you into the bathroom?" Damon asked and looked at her, raising a brow. He seemed impatient to go back to his friend and she was raging with fury as she thought about them together.

"Damon, it's been three months since you and I-well, since you and I had that talk. And not once have you called me to ask how I am, or if I want to go out. You've kept it professional and it's not fair, Damon." Elena said, trying to make him see that just because she stopped whatever twisted relationship they had, their friendship didn't have to end.

"But it is pretty fair, Elena. It's best if we see each other just at work and keep our relationship professional."

"Well, did you even ask yourself what I want?" She snapped and he looked at her like he didn't understand what she meant.

"What?" Damon asked, running a hand through his hair, like he used to do every time he was nervous.

"Don't do this now. Don't pretend you don't understand what I'm saying to you. I miss you, Damon. And I don't want our friendship to end because we couldn't pull the friends-with-benefits thing off." Elena pleaded for him to say something, to agree with her, but it seemed like either he didn't care about her anymore or he was just stunned. "Damon?"

"You're incredible, Elena. First, you tell me that you can't do this anymore, that you want to find someone to spend your life with and just when I get used to the fact that I can't hang out with you anymore, you tell me you miss me. I can't believe you!" Damon laughed sarcastically and tears started to prick her eyes. Why was he so mean to her? Or was he...did he have some sort of relationship with that girl from the table? They seemed to get along just fine.

No! She had to do something; she couldn't just lose him, or worse, watch him fall in love with someone else. She was done fighting the feelings she had towards him. Elena was sure that being with him was the biggest mistake she could have ever done, bigger than the fact that they slept together just for the fun of it. It was time she had something of her own, because she fought for it, because she wanted it. And she wanted Damon. She wanted as much as he could give her. And if he could only give her his friendship, she would take it, but she would not, under any circumstances, watch him fall for another person and do nothing about it.

"I'm sorry, I know I don't have the right to ask you for this. But I miss my friend."

"I think it's kind of late for that now, Elena." Damon whispered and she was doing everything in her power not to start to cry.

"So that's it? You're just going to go back to that table and pretend you don't know me? You're just going to go and sleep with that girl you've been talking to this whole time? Are you going to tell her the same things you said to me, Damon?" She snapped and this time she didn't cover her tears.

"What are you talking about, Elena?"

"I'm talking about that girl you were talking to earlier."

"I don't think that's any of your business." He said and turned around, leaving her alone.

As soon as she returned from the restrooms she was scooped in someone's arms and when she looked back at the man, she saw Alaric grinning at her and she was relieved that it was someone she knew. And he was Damon's best friend. She smiled back weakly at him and some wrinkles appeared on his forehead as they moved on to the song.

"What's up, Elena?"

"Damon hates me." She sighed and looked over Alaric's shoulder to see Damon dancing with that mysterious woman; and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat at her. She felt jealousy rumbling through her stomach and tore her eyes away to look at Alaric. "I'm sure he told you about our special relationship."

"Yes, he did and he also told me that it's over. Isn't it?" Alaric asked and he seemed not to notice his friend over on the dance floor.

"It is. But once it was gone, so was our friendship. I really miss him, Ric."

"He'll come along, 'Lena. Damon has a hard time letting people in, mostly because of how his father treated him all his life and then there was the shit Katherine pulled on him. And when he does let someone in, it means he trusts them with his life and he cares about them." As his words got to her ears, the truth sank in; she had hurt him too. She swore she would never hurt him, and she did. She had to do anything she could to get him back and to show him she really cared about him.

"And I did something horrible." She nodded and looked at Damon, who was swaying on the dance floor. She never got a chance to dance with him again, since that night at the club, several months ago. They never tangoed, and they never waltzed.

"I'm sure he's going to come along. Now, watch out, 'Lena!" Alaric said and she frowned, not knowing the meaning of his last words. And just when she was about to ask him what he meant, she was twirled around and in a matter of seconds, surely inevitable, she ended up in the strong arms of a blue eyed man. Her breath hitched as his cold eyes mirrored her, probably trying to figure out how to escape her as soon as possible.

She didn't say anything. For a while, she just let herself enjoy the dance with him. They waltzed around like they were the only people in the room. His left hand was positioned on the small of her back and the other one was interlocked with hers, as she rested her other hand on the back of his neck, slowly caressing the tips of his hair. She pushed her hips forward to melt with his and for a moment, he let himself get caught in the moment, but the other, he pulled away.

"What are you doing, Elena?" He requested, his gaze cold.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." She excused herself, but inwardly pulled a smile on her face. She still managed to bother him, he was still responding to her touches. While he stood there, somewhere between speechless and frozen, Elena noticed the girl from earlier lazily making her way towards them; towards Damon.

Elena's hand snapped up and grabbed hold of his. She knew what she had to do. It was clearer for her now more than ever. With tears pricking her eyes, she caressed the back of his hand and looked him in the eyes. She tried to hold back the tears and somehow managed to do it.

"Don't go home with her." She breathed out and she wasn't sure, but she thought that he stopped breathing for a slight moment while her words got to him. He frowned and she shook her head at the lack of information she was offering him. "If you've ever cared about me, at least for a little, don't leave with her, please." She practically begged him and he turned around to look at the woman who was smiling as she walked towards him.

She only had to hope that he would take her plea seriously and he wouldn't sleep with that girl, because if he would, her efforts would be in vain. She stood up on her toes and gently pressed her lips against his cheek. Elena turned on her heels and not saying anything else, hurried to get out of there. She walked out of the building and found a cab, instructing the driver on how to get her home. If she wanted to get Damon back, she had to move, and fast.

She stormed into her little apartment and not even bothering to get out of her shoes or anything, she walked into the bedroom and pulled out the huge suitcase from under the bed. She took her time lumping all her clothes inside the suitcase, careful not to crumple them all. As soon as she thought she was ready, she walked into the bathroom and started to fill a bag with her products, before deciding she was done.

Walking into the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of water and looked around her little apartment; she would miss it. She remembered wishing so badly to have a place of her own, where it would be just her and her wild thoughts. And now this was going to end. She was going to leave her little world. But at the end of the day, she knew it was for the best. She would find happiness and she would value it more than a house.

Locking her apartment behind her, she put her key in her purse, hoping that she wouldn't use it for a long time. She stopped in front of the building and looked around; the Brooklyn dream was over for her. Now, it was time for another dream to rise and she wasn't thinking about the money. No, not at all. She was dreaming of joy and peace for her soul. Elena climbed in the back of the car and waited for the driver to put her luggage in the trunk, then told him where she wanted to go. He nodded and didn't ask for anything else during the drive.

Elena looked out the window as the car moved past the little buildings in Brooklyn and then, out of nowhere, she was in Manhattan. She shook her head, somehow disappointed about how different the two neighborhoods could be. Like two different worlds that collided at some point. The point that intersected the worlds for her was Damon. And that was why she didn't regret making this decision. She could only hope her dreams wouldn't be shattered into a million pieces.

She grabbed hold of her things and entered the enormous building, this time on her feet. She looked around and recognized the guards but her gaze wandered to the girl at the reception. Luckily, it was still the same person from a few months ago. Elena walked over to her and smiled sweetly.

"Miss Katherine, what a surprise." The girl said before Elena could open her mouth to say anything. This was not happening right now! Elena wanted to slap herself so she could wake up from this nightmare of looking like that cold hearted bitch.

"No. I'm Elena." She mumbled, the smile she had on her lips earlier disappearing in that moment.

"Miss Gilbert, I'm so sorry for mistaking you with Katherine. I'm so tired that I can't even see straight right now." The young woman apologized and Elena only nodded her head in response.

"Is he here?" Elena asked and she was sure the girl knew who was she talking about.

"He just arrived half an hour ago. Do you want me to call and announce you?"

"No!" She hurried to say. "I'll find my way up." And with that, she made her way to the elevator.

Minutes later, she was standing in front of the big door that she had come to recognize even in her sleep. Taking a deep breath, she knocked and hoped that she would be heard. The door was soon opened and she let her suitcase fall to the floor. That was it; the moment she had mentally prepared herself for for a long time but never thought it would be true.

"I'm ready."

AN: If you've come this far as to read this note, it means that you're probably going to leave a review for me as well, right? Right?