Realities Cubed
By Jim Robert Bader
(Based on the Works of Rumiko Takahashi and Others,
including my fellow fanfic writers, Nicole Manders, Gregg Sharp and DB Sommers, who provided some of the characters and concepts that have appeared in this series, and to TH Tiger for his generous support and advice in the writing of this and many other projects)
Chapter Nineteen.
The Incredible Light-Headedness of Being
Continuum # 59343921
The way to Washu's laboratory was fraught with perils for the unwary. This was necessarily so, for the self-described "Greatest Genius in the Galaxy" was rather zealous about her privacy, preferring only the company of a few close family friends and family, which excluding others by deliberate choice. The outward trail was lined with highly dangerous snares, booby-traps and unexpected surprises meant to catch unwanted intruders up and isolate them so that they could become the subjects of later experiments. The outside trail was even lined with signs that warned, "KEEP OUT!" "NO TRESPASSING!" "VISITORS WILL BE DISECTED ON SIGHT!" and, of course, "THIS MEANS YOU, MIHOSHI!"
The outer entrance to the lab was cleverly disguised as a harmless looking mountain in the rustic countryside, but that was just to fool the tourists, for in actuality the doorway opened out into another dimension, a pocket-realm designed by Washu to house her main laboratories, which were themselves so vast that they contained the combined mass of three solar planets. It was a complex of interlocking realms where experiments too dangerous and bizarre to be safely tested on a celestial body could be performed in relative safety. Specimens gathered from entire galaxies were on display in numerous Bio-habitats and enough machinery to manufacture entire stars and planets were housed in store rooms for whenever they might be needed by their Mistress.
It was not commonly known beyond the Masaki clan, but Washu, the 20,000 year old former head of the Galactic Science Academy was in fact a highly evolved being whose powers ranged beyond those of lesser mortals. She was, in fact, a member of a troika of Multi-Dimensional spirits, (albeit by far the most human of three sisters), the other two parts being the godlike Lady Tokima and the unearthly Tsunami, Spirit Guardian of Jurai, now currently soul-bonded to the Princess Sasami. Although, by personal preference, Washu preferred to appear in the form of a young girl, she was, in fact, among the most dangerous beings ever to grace a humble planet like Terra. It was only her quirky personality and general good nature that kept her impulses in line, and even then her insatiable curiosity could still sometimes get her into a great deal of trouble.
Give all of that, it was amazing to think that there was any being in the galaxy who would be so foolish as to attempt to sneak into her lab complex by means of one of the dimensional doors that connected to the Masaki household. That said being had a curiosity as insatiable as a cat only made her seem more reckless and brazen than daring, ESPECIALLY when that somehow had a penchant for mischief and trouble to rival that of both of her parents. She had been any times scolded and told to stay far away from the laboratory, but stubborn pride and a need to know where all of her friends were about at the moment prompted Kuramitsu Kihoshi to risk another scolding rather than be left out on all the fun that guys like Ryeka and Tenko were doubtlessly having. All she needed was a good look, after all, and then she would be on her way, preferably before her Aunt Washu was any the wiser. After all, what was the harm in that, and as a Junior Galaxy Detective-in-Training she had to get some practice breaking into places like this somehow and somewhere, right? Besides, she was certain that she could explain herself to Washu and her parents if anyone were to find her on the stairs poised to open that closet door and...
"Hey, whatcha doing, Kihoshi?"
"GAK!" the copper skinned girl nearly jumped through the ceiling as she whirled around and said, "Teneka-kun! Don't ever do that!"
"Do what?" asked Teneka, the spitting image of his father, "Are you trying to get into Grandmother's lab again? Honestly, Kihoshi-chan, don't you think there might be a reason why she doesn't want you in there?"
"Mind your own business!" Kihoshi snapped, flustered at the sight of the handsome boy for reasons that only partially had to do with the hammering in her chest, "I wasn't sneaking about, I was...ah just, ah...testing to see how good Auntie's defenses have gotten since the last time..."
"Geez, that was only a couple of days ago, three at tops," Teneka complained, "And don't you usually just sail on past Grandmother's defenses like they aren't even there?"
"That's too easy!" Kihoshi sniffed, "What's the challenge of bypassing a security without taking the time to study it and find out how it's supposed to work? They won't let me get into the Galaxy police just 'cause I've got this weird talent of picking my way through traps and stuff."
"Whatever," Teneka wondered why all of the women in his life were either so exotic or so crazy...or both, but he had to allow that Kihoshi was far from the worst of the bunch, "Anyway, I was on my way to see Grandmother, would you like to tag along? I'm sure she won't mind if you're with me."
"Ah..." there was only the slightest of hesitation before Kihoshi adopted a patently false look of stoical indifference and said, "I might as well...you've ruined my concentration."
She just hoped she didn't seen too eager to use the excuse to get nearer to his presence. After all, aside from being well-to-do, intelligent and handsome, he was one of the few unattached boys in their class, and with the rather sharp decline of HETEROSEXUAL couples in their youth group of late, a girl could do worse than to snag him up before anybody else put a bid into the competition.
Teneka opened the door to what appeared to be a closet and they found themselves in the turbovator that would whisk them to the central laboratory in a matter of seconds. During that time Kihoshi chanced to remark, "So...you think your sisters are already with Auntie Washu helping her out with one of her experiments?"
"I gathered that the Monster and Oneechan were there already," Teneka replied, "But Grandmother wasn't too specific about the details for why she wanted me to be there, so I guess we'll find out the hard way."
"The Monster" was Teneka's way of affectionately describing his half-sister, Ryeka, while he always addressed his other sister, Tenko, in terms more affectionate between siblings. Kihoshi was close friends with both girls and could understand the basis for which the boy might come to feel that way, seeing as how Ryeka was such a wild woman at time, while Tenko was more like an angel. Both could be rather intimidating in their own distinctive ways, being two of the strongest fighters on the planet.
To his credit, however, Teneka did have some advantages that put him near to the same playing field, not least of which were his martial arts training and Jurai powers, both of which were substantial and impressive.
The elevator opened onto the main level and the two teenagers stepped out to find that others had preceded them to the complex, and Washu was commanding the scene in her usual way, working the controls while one of her displays was playing out some weird astronomical phenomenon, no doubt the current object of her intensive studies. It was, however, very odd to find Tenko with several of her closest friends in attendance, and no sign of Ryeka anywhere (which suggested that this was one of Washu's science lectures, a thing to which that particular Masaki sibling was notoriously allergic, and with good reason).
Of more immediate concern to Kihoshi, however, was the sight of two of the adults standing with Washu, one being everyone's favorite Aunt Sasami, the other being none other than Kihoshi's biological...
"Fama?"
"Hey Kid, glad you showed up," Kiyone acknowledged her only daughter, "Only you don't have to try so hard next time. I was half ready to go up there and fetch you myself."
"Don't embarrass her, Kiyone," Sasami teased, "Hey Nephew, glad you could join us!"
"What's up?" Teneka asked, "What's everybody doing here, and what's that thing?"
"One question at a time, young Princes," Ekko responded with her usual aloof analyticism, "We're still fathoming out the details for ourselves, and you've just walked into the middle of our little research program."
"It's something very ominous and threatening to our reality, possibly all realities little Brother," Tenko explained, "We believe that this is where Ryeka was sent with a recent acquaintance whom we found together. There seems to be some sort of movement afoot that could potentially destroy creation as we know it and we believe an evil intelligence is behind this movement..."
"And not just any kind of evil intelligence," Veil added, "We believe a force that can manipulate time and space at will is behind the crafting of this terrible object. We must stand ready if we are to be able to assist your sister."
"Hah?" Teneka said as he absorbed all of this, then turned to the one he considered most sensible in this line-up, the purple-haired Lylac, "Oneechan is in trouble?"
"You ever known a time when she wasn't?" Lylac replied with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Good point," Teneka turned back to his other sister and said, "What did she do this time?"
"Apparently nothing that she initiated," Tenko replied, "For once Neechan isn't the instigator of trouble but got swept up into something by a force whose power is so great that it was even able to hijack Great Grandmother's transfer disk and transport her to a parallel dimension."
"Say what?" Kihoshi turned and asked, "Professor Washu...is this true? Did Ryeka get snatched up and transported to another dimension...and they didn't include us?"
"That's the deal, Kiddo," Washu affirmed.
"That's not fair! Kihoshi wailed, "How am I supposed to get any training in serious adventures if that half-witted mop-head gets taken while I get left behind? It's a conspiracy I tell you...!"
"Calm down, Kid," Kiyone told her daughter, appalled at just how much like her mother Kihoshi was sounding, "You'll get your chance to take part in the rescue mission. In fact we're all going to pitch in on this...at least that's the plan that Little Washu here has been able to put together."
"All of us?" Teneka asked, "What about my mothers?"
"This is a highly dangerous and sensitive mission, Teneka-chan," Washu replied, "Do you really want to bring them in on something like this?"
"Ah...good point," Teneka conceded.
"Same reason why we're leaving your big sister Miyaka out of this," Sasami added, "She's happy in college, just like Minagi, who's out cruising the solar system."
"I don't get it," Kihoshi said, "I can see why you need Teneka-chan and these others, but what do you need me for? Not that I won't do my part, of course, but..."
"You have your mother's talent for mischief," Kiyone smiled at her daughter, "And you can get into things a lot better than I can. We need you to help get these others past some heavy-duty security so they can do their thing and help rescue Ryeka."
"You need me to pick a lock or something?" Kihoshi grinned, "Radical, then count me in!"
"Then get yourself suited up like the others," Washu urged, "I'd reading an energy fluctuation in the field protecting the object, which means another opening should make itself known at any second."
"Aunt Kiyone," Teneka asked, "What are you and Aunt Sasami going to do?"
"You'll find out soon enough, Kid," Kiyone nodded, "Let's just say it's the kind of mission your Dad would feel at home with if he were going on this one."
"Hurry up and get ready," Washu instructed, "That opening could occur at any second."
"Okay," Teneka replied, and then a ring about his finger glowed to life, and all at once his outward garb changed from a school uniform to something more ultra-
tech and sleek, even as Kihoshi did the same thing, reveling in the way her outfit played up the curves of her figure so nicely.
There was a shimmering of light and suddenly yet another figure made its appearance, a small furry form that went, "Meow?"
"That's right, young lady," Washu replied, "You're going on this one too, so get ready."
"Meow!" the furry Cabbit replied, and then expanded out to full adult human size, "Ready when you are, Great-Grandmother!"
"Ryo-Uki?" Teneka asked.
"What's she doing here?" Kihoshi growled as she noticed the way the boy beside her was ogling the near-naked human Cabbit.
"Her part is as important as your own," Ekko assured her, "After all...one of her sisters is currently engaged in the operation along with Ryeka."
"This party is starting to look overly familiar," Lylac murmured in mild dismay.
"Indeed," Tenko smiled, "All that's missing is your friend Ranko."
"Indeed," Veil remarked, "I wonder what your paratime sister is doing at the moment?"
"Having fun up to her neck most likely," Ekko mused softly, "And if I'm not too mistaken she is probably only one of many players we have yet to meet experiencing their own peculiar cross-time adventures..."
Continuum: # 985643217
Roll Call:
Ryoma Saotome -Son of Ukyo and Ranma, Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu Carmine Hitomabori -Daughter of Inaho and Mosquiton the Vampire, 1/8th Vampyr Tarot Kenzan -Daughter of Shampoo and Konatsu, Mage/Wicca in training Tachi Kuno -Son of Nabiki and Tatewaki, Nampo Kendo Ryu Efreet Mizuhara -Adopted daughter of Ifurita and Makoto, Demon-Goddess Minos Tarot -Son of Kasumi and Pantsaru, Shotokan Ryu Wanda Kenshiro -Daughter of Ranma and Aila, Fist of the North Star
Touga Kuno -Son of Ranma and Tatewaki, Daimyo, Kendo Master Ryonosuke Senzenen -Son of (?) and Mikado Senzenen, Family Retainer Xandar Kurunei -Son of Kaori and Sasuke, House Ninja Yoriko Kuonji -Daughter of Ukyo and (?), House Ninja Minx Tendo -Daughter of Akane and a Wood Sprite, Changeling Ninja
Onnama Saotome -Daughter of Ranma and Ryoga, Musubetsu Kakuto Ryu Idou Kuonji -Son of Ukyo and Akane, Anything Goes Cooking Kanazuchi Tendo -Daughter of Ranma and Akane, Tendo Anything Goes Ryu Koku Tendo -Daughter of Shampoo and Nabiki, Financial Wizard Neko Tendo -Twin sister of Koku, blue haired Cultural Cat Girl
"Amazing!" Touga exclaimed as he surveyed the books in the school library, "Such incredible stores of advanced knowledge...and all made available for the students of this common-level education center?"
"Sure enough, Bro," Onnama said simply as she seemed faintly amused by the aristocratic boy's "Kid in a Candy Store" behavior, "Feel free to browse around to your heart's content."
"Incredible," Touga marveled as he fingered through one book, finding neatly printed text with pictures, flipping the pages with eyes as round as saucers, "And you don't even have to pay a price for such a privilege?"
"Are you kidding?" Ryoma-chan sniffed, "You'd have to pay some guys to show their face in this place, which is why we should have all the privacy we need while we compare notes and get better acquainted."
"You must be joking," Touga replied as he fingered through another book with a reverential expression, "This incredible fortune of knowledge...and you don't even have guards posted at the exits?"
"Not much need for them here, Kinsman," Tachi replied, "Most of what you see here is common knowledge and in widespread distribution. A specialist in any field can come here and do research for a paper or a report, even read fictionalized novels for their off-hours amusement."
"This is almost beyond belief," Touga averred as he studied yet a third book with even greater attention to the text, "You have no idea what a work of this nature would be worth on my world...and yet you treat this priceless knowledge as if it were of no great consequence...and yet how do you keep things organized?"
"Simple," Tarot replied, "The works are organized and catalogued according to what we call the Dewey Decimal system. Subjects are classified by the numbers on their spine, and if you can read the lettering..."
"Yes, I am familiar with English numerals," Touga nodded soberly, "An incredible idea that...to file and catalogue, store and index for easy location of any work that you might desire to peruse...I have heard that German scholars use some similar such method for their universities, and a Chinese scribe whom I once knew as a tutor explained how scrolls were kept in the Imperial palace of the Forbidden City..."
"Geez," Ifurita exclaimed, "The way the guy's acting you'd think he's never seen a library before."
"I can completely understand his interest," Wanda remarked, "In my own world such knowledge as is contained in these books has been a forgotten and undervalued commodity. Such books are just as often to be burned for fuel as to be used for toilet paper..."
"Yeesh, now there's a mental image I could have done without," Koku winced.
"Oh, I don't know," her sister, Neko, responded, "I've read some books that were little better than toilet paper..."
"Okay," Carmine replied, "I think we've dwelled long enough on Prince Ego's neglected education. Now...what the heck kind of world did we wind up in this time? I mean...it looks like our world, but here the guy who looks like Ryoma really is a girl..."
"Yeah, I know," Ryoma turned to regard Onnama, "You don't seem to have any problem with the idea that the two of us are related?"
"Hey, with all the crazy stuff that goes on in my life, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing to run into another kinsman...or girl...whichever you are."
"I'm a guy," Ryoma-chan glanced down at her kimono-clad self then added, "I just don't look it at the moment."
"You would if you weren't afraid of going drag in that Kimono you're wearing," Tachi teased, "Personally I think you look just darling."
"Don't push it," Ryoma growled in irritation, reflexively reaching for her ever-
present "spatula of doom," only to check the impulse at the last instant.
"Weird," Idou remarked, "You've got a bakers peel like me and know the Kuonji style of cooking, but your Dad was really Onnama's Mom, and you Mom was the same as me. Talk about confusing!"
"Confusing?" Ryoma sniffed, "You don't know the half of it, Bro. See that snow-
capped mountain of Fem over there? She's also a Saotome...only her Mom was some girl named Aila. And the guy with her's named Taro Minos, and his Mom was your Aunt Kasumi."
"Say what?" Onnama replied, "You've got to be joking!"
"Yeah," Kanazuchi remarked, "Everybody knows Aunt Kasumi's happily shacked up with Uncle Genma and Aunt Nodoka."
This time even Tarot blinked her eyes in dismay, and Tachi murmured aloud, "I'm not even going to ask for the details..."
"Incredible," Touga exclaimed as he stared in amazement at one book, "So you fix the primer cap into a brass casing and add the explosive element with a neutral component to render it stable, and with a lead bullet packing it in the resulting shell is effectively water-proofed and can be fired through a breach-
loading revolver..."
"You sure it's a good idea to let him read that stuff?" Carmine asked in a low tone, "Sounds like he's more than a century behind us in technology, and given he's a Daimyo with ambitions to be a Shogun on his world..."
"It might be borrowing trouble for the people in his version of Japan to let him find out too much advanced knowledge," Tachi solemnly nodded.
"I'm not so sure that it would be a bad thing to give him a taste of our world," Tarot mused, "Provided someone steers his course in the right direction."
"Are you volunteering?" Efreet asked in surprise, "I thought you were hooked on Ryoma."
"Yeah," Carmine growled, "Only that guy's more your type anyway so you might as well pick him and make yourself into a princess."
"Huh?" Ryoma turned to stare at the blue haired Amazon Mage, seeing a speculative gleam in her crimson eyes of which she found that she mightily disapproved.
"Tempting, but you're right, I've already given my heart to Ryo-chan, so while his brother has many fine points that I could easily adapt to, I will stay in my world with the man of my desires," Tarot gave a winsome smile that made Ryoma swallow on a suddenly dry mouth.
"My lord," Senzenen appeared from the hallway, "We have secured the perimeter and insured that the locals will not be a problem."
"Not a problem?" Ryoma frowned, "I hope you guys didn't mess anybody up around this place..."
"No harm was rendered to the students and faculty of this facility," Touga replied from where he was leafing through yet another volume, "My people will respect the citizens of this reality insofar as we are able, but neither will they allow us to be interrupted while we conduct this little session. By the way...this Napoleon sounds like he was quite a fellow. I believe I recall some obscure mention of a general by that name who served under King Louis the XIX...created a link between the Franco-Prussian alliance and the Ottoman Empire that maintained the peace in Europe for an entire generation."
"In our world he met his Waterloo," Koku idly noted.
"Indeed...that is often the price of having too much ambition," Touga replied sadly, "One oversteps one's limits and the boundary line between pride and hubris, which tempts the wrath of the heavens. A man must know how far his reach can extend or he will earn the envy and wrath of those jealous of his accomplishments. It seems this fellow aspired to be another Alexander, but like my ancestor, Tokugawa, he met a bad end having succeeded only in uniting his enemies against him."
"Sounds like things really did happen differently in your world," Neko noted, "Are you really a Baron from the late Feudal era?"
"Late Feudal era," Touga repeated as he closed the book in his hands with an audible thump, "I guess to you people my time and place does seem rather backwards and primitive...but then so many things appear to have failed to happen on my world that would account for our slower rate of progress. The American colonial revolt failed to result in a more progressive system of Democratic rule...no Republican forms of government arose to replace the archaic system of aristocratic rule by a progressively inbred and fractious dynasty of contentious nobles. The mercantile classes never rose to the prominence that they clearly did in this time, nor were trade unions able to form to provide for a better living for the working classes. Indeed...in all respects this world seems more desirable...and yet how odd that the denizens in this world seem oblivious to their own great good fortune."
"That's the nature of humanity, my Lord," Senzenen replied, "We prize not what we are unaware of, but miss when it is absent."
"Doubtless you are correct, my faithful friend," Touga sighed, "But perhaps that is the blessing that comes with being of common birth...not to be burdened with too much knowledge that might complicate their daily existence. Perhaps that burden was only meant to be carried upon the shoulders of those few who live in the proper time and place to make a difference. Perhaps that is the true meaning of what it is to be a hero, whether our path be grand or tragic in its outcome..."
"Uh..." Onnama eyed her paratime brother dubiously then turned to Ryoma and said, "Are you sure this guy's a Kuno? He's actually making sense..."
"I know," Tachi smiled, "Scary isn't it?"
"I wouldn't be one to talk too big about scary," Ryoma noted, "I mean...you're telling me on this timeline Dad got trapped in his girl half, and your Dad is my Uncle Ryoga? I mean...not to beat a dead horse, but...sheesh!"
"You're telling us about it?" Idou replied, "Onna-chan can be a little scary even when she's not half-trying."
"Oh yeah?" Onnama balled her fists and growled, "Well look who's talking!"
"Indeed," Koku smiled, "Our Aunt Akane is the father of both you and Kanazuchi, thanks to the miracle of the boy-curse that she fell under."
"Aunt Akane turns into a guy?" said Minos as he turned from the private conversation that he had been having with Wanda, "Now that is scary!"
"What's so scary about it?" Kanazuchi growled defensively, "Is that any worse than my Mom turning into a GUY?"
"Ah...just for the record," Tarot raised a finger, "Your mother was Ranma and your father was Akane, right?"
"You catch on fast, Sis," Neko grinned, "Our Aunt is actually our Uncle and she wears the real pants in our family, Momma Ukyo not withstanding."
"This is all very interesting," said Xandar as he all but materialized from between two sets of bookshelves, "But I fear we may have a problem, Lord. Though Yoriko-chan and I have managed to deter potential intruders upon this study, there is one approaching who may prove to be more formidable than even we who serve you loyally can hope to overcome."
"You don't mean...?" Touga registered genuine concern in his eyes bordering on actual terror.
"We fear so, My Lord," said Yoriko as she, too, materialized out of the shadows, "It is the High Priestess of the Osaka Shrine, Lady Ninamiya Hinako herself..."
"The Principal?" Onnama said in alarm.
"Uh oh," Idou said, "We're in big trouble now!"
"Quick," Koku said, "Anybody want to buy an alibi off of me, dirt cheap?"
"Well, that confirms it," Tachi mused, "She and I are definitely related..."
"Nasty spirit-drainer come," said Minx as she really did materialize out of seeming nothingness, "Minx think bad stay she find us."
Wanda turned to see the rain-bow haired mop head standing close enough to her side to touch, and clenched her hand as she seriously considered it, wondering why-in the light of all that had so recently happened between them-she did not feel greater anger directed towards this annoying little nuisance.
"I think, if your Hinako is anything like the Principal on my world," Ryoma began, "Then we really ought to be leaving here in a hurry...catch my drift?"
"Completely," Touga sighed as he closed another book, "This wondrous place is far too tempting, but too much knowledge, as you say, can be dangerous in one sitting. I am grateful for the honor and the privilege of having even a glimpse into the wonders of what might have been had events shaped themselves in a different direction."
"There may still be hope for your world," Tarot remarked, "If you should survive to lead your people there may yet be a golden era...a Meiji period such as you have only dreamed."
"Perhaps it is so, dear lady," Touga replied, "I do indeed hope that this may one day be the truth, but what you have told me about a mysterious power that is moving us from plane to plane may not permit things to proceed as we would wish it."
"I'm sorry to say that you may be right, Brother," Tachi remarked, "As yet we have no idea what that power is or why it is acting the way it has, but we're fairly certain that our travels have far from reached their conclusion."
"Yeah, well..." Ryoma winced, "If Principal Hinako is about to put in an appearance, then I wish those powers would hurry up and get on with it before..."
There was a faint shimmer in the air, followed by a loud explosion, then from the entrance of the library a figure stepped forward, towering in her rage and authority as she surveyed the oddly dressed teenagers currently gathered in the library and at once demanded, "Who is responsible for this? What Juvenile Delinquency are you deviants plotting here, and who blocked off access to the library?"
"Oh no," Xandar audibly swallowed.
"Priestess Hinako," Yoriko sounded no less intimidated.
The Principal was tall and very athletic looking with a remarkably handsome face that gave little hint to her actual age, and in one hand she held up an ominous-
looking coin that those who knew her were staring at as though it were a loaded weapon.
"Oh great," Onnama grumbled, "How am I gonna explain this one?"
"Principal," Idou stepped forward, "Have you met our cousins from out of town? They were going to help us in putting on a school play..."
"Hey, that's not bad," Koku remarked with a raised eyebrow, "Mind if I borrow it for later?"
"A school play?" the Principal asked skeptically, only to find a very handsome youth attired like ancient nobility standing before her and bowing his head in a surprisingly regal manner.
"Gentle headmistress of this esteemed educational establishment," Touga said suavely as he straightened up and made eye-contact, beaming like the most benevolent man in all of creation, "Please pardon that we asked for privacy while we rehearsed our Kabuki recital. I know we are not properly dressed for students of this academy, but as we are not from this part of town we hoped you would forgive the deficiency in our manners."
"Ah...well...that's all right...I mean..." Principal Hinako seemed momentarily taken aback by the good looking boy's outgoing charm and manners.
"There is no need for words, beauteous maiden," Touga said grandly, "You honor us with your radiant glory and we stand in awe of the majesty that you bring before our unworthy presence. Please do not permit anger to color your judgement of we humble performers."
"Hooo," Ryoma exclaimed in a soft voice, "Pretty slick."
"Whoah," Onnama raised both eyebrows, "You sure he's a Kuno?"
"Even I'm starting to wonder," Tachi admitted in a sotto voice.
"Well...if you are putting on a class play," Principal Hinako hesitantly responded, "You should have consulted with me and obtained permission for the use of the library. The Kami know it doesn't see enough use by the students."
"You are too right," Touga replied, "An oversight, it shall happen again, you have my word on this."
"Well..." Hinako smiled, "You are a charming fellow, and I can see you have better manners than the juvenile delinquents I have to deal with all of the time. Keep up the good performance and I'll see to that you have official school backing."
"You are too kind," Touga bowed again, "A kindness exceeded only by your beauty."
"Oh," Hinako backed away, "You...you really mustn't say things like that...I'm much older than you, it's just not proper..."
"Nonsense," Touga replied, "You have the freshness of a spring daisy with the delicate texture of cherry blossoms in their season. No man could ever think you anything but young and lovely, and it is more than your majesty or the awe beheld by your presence that would make men bow to you in worship."
"Now that sounds more like a Kuno," Idou murmured, "Except this guy seems to know what he's doing."
"Well...if you really must speak that way," Hinako smiled, "Then I guess I should leave you to your practice. By all means inform me of when your play is ready, I would very much like to see you-I mean it again...taa-taa..."
"Taa-Taa?" Kanazuchi repeated as she blinked her eyes once the brown haired principal had existed, almost skipping like a girl one third her apparent age, "Principal Hinako saying 'taa-taa?' What the heck is going on here?"
"Yeah," Neko replied, "That old Succubus was acting like she was a kid with a crush on a Pop idol. You really charmed the pants off of her, guy."
"It's nothing really," Touga replied, "One of the benefits of a noble education. You learn the language of the courts fairly early and it is like any field of battle...you seek out the target and you maneuver them with careful and precise movements, words and gestures. Believe me when I say that there is more to romance than mere flowery word play...you have to make a woman believe that she is the most important lady in all of creation."
"Hmph," Senzenen replied, "Too bad those charms of yours have no such effect on the Priestess of our world, my Lord. This one was almost too easily dissuaded."
"Perhaps," Touga smiled, "But there is something so charming about a lady who takes to flattery as if it were as rare as a desert bloom, and I wonder that no one here seems to have appreciated the charms of this lady, who is like and yet so unalike the regal priestess."
Tarot noted the way that Touga loyal retainer frowned at his lord and master, but rather than hostility what she sensed in the man was an altogether more surprising emotion. She lifted an eyebrow and started to put more of the pieces together.
"As you say, Great Lord," Xandar bowed, "I give thanks to our ancestors that you won over this lady, because the way she overcame our wards leaves me in little doubt that her power rivals that of the Priestess."
"Just so," Touga nodded, "Well then, if that distraction has been set aside for now, perhaps I will have more time to indulge in some reading. There are so many fascinating subjects here that it could take me years to accumulate as much knowledge as I thirst for..."
"Are you kidding?" Onnama asked, "You barely even glanced at those books...I mean, how can you learn anything by flipping the pages?"
"I remember everything that I read, gentle Sister," Touga replied, tapping his forehead, "One of the gifts inherited from our mutual mother is the ability to recall each picture and word with total clarity after only a glance, as you have described it."
"Fascinating," Koku smiled, "I'd heard the Saotomes could do stuff like that, but Onna-chan here just yawns at the mere mention of an education. It's too bad if you can't stick around for a while because a guy like you and me could go into business together and clean up this whole campus."
"A fascinating offer to be sure," Touga said with what sounded like complete candor, "I have long wondered what it would be like to live the life of a humble merchant..."
"Uh...guess you're gonna have to shelve that for later, big guy," Efreet suddenly spoke up.
"Huh?" Tachi turned to her, "What...do you mean...?"
"It's starting again," the Demon Goddess nodded, "I can feel the shift taking place...it's got the same energy signature as the last time."
"Guess we're gonna wind up somewhere else pretty soon," Ryoma exclaimed.
"Already?" Minos asked, "We just got here!"
"Apparently whatever task we came to accomplish has been completed," Wanda mused, "And the power that is conducting these affairs wishes to draw us elsewhere."
"Oh bugger," Carmine growled, "I just hope the next place isn't too weird...be a real pain if we get dropped right into the middle of another frigging desert."
"I think this time the transfer is different," Tarot remarked, "I can perceive a difference in the gathering of energies...there is more power being drawn this time to conduct us to our destination."
"Hey!" Onnama suddenly cried out, "I feel funny...like there's this tingling all over me..."
"Obviously you are coming along for the ride, little Sister," Touga noted.
"What do you mean?" asked Idou.
"I don't feel anything," said Kanazuchi.
"Guess that mean's we're not tagging along for this one," Koku remarked, "What a pity.
"Sucks," Neko pouted, "I could use an excuse like that to get out of Chem class..."
The cat-girl's words seemed to travel down to the rest of the party as if from a very long tunnel, and then a swirling void surrounded them as a dozen teenagers found themselves no longer in the library but rather in a grayish void that stretched out in all directions. The swirling winds that whipped past their bodies and hair blotted out all details of where and when they were, but after a moment they found themselves cast adrift in a starry nightscape, staring at a void that engulfed them in a total packaging of universal dimensions.
"What's wrong?" Carmine asked, "What is this?"
"It looks like the Cosmos as viewed from inside a crystal ball," replied Tachi.
"Good description," Efreet added, "Those really are stars, planets, constellations and two moons orbiting the planet Earth..."
"Two moons?" Tachi blinked.
"Yeah," the Demon Goddess pointed with her staff, "There's Luna over there, and there is another object with the mass of a planet roughly asteroid sized and shaped like a grinning skull..."
"Say WHAT?" Ryoma reacted.
"Hey, she's right," Minos pointed, "It does look like a grinning skull..."
"Eh?" Touga exclaimed as the rest of their party followed the outstretched finger of the larger boy, and sure enough they did see an object drifting in space that was ominously shaped like a human skull...one surrounded by an atmospheric envelope that gave it the appearance of something frozen in crystal.
"What the heck is that thing?" Onnama murmured in awed disbelief even as the object in question appeared to be growing in size and dimensions...right up until they collective realized that it was coming a lot closer and filling up their horizons.
All at once there came a wrenching sensations, like being sucked through a straw or the vortex of a cyclone. Like that they found themselves standing on the edge of a precipice overlooking a dark gulf that stretched out beneath them like the maw of a hungry beast, and with a star-strewn sky overhead that boasted an impossibly large moonscape.
"What the heck just happened?" Minos asked after a long drawn-out moment of complete silence amid the party.
"On the whole," Touga replied, "And mind you, this is only a theory...I would say that we are now upon that moon-like object that we were spying a moment ago...or at least that would appear to be consistent with the observable circumstances."
"I concur," Tarot replied, "Only I believe this time that we have reached our final destination."
"I don't like the way you put that," Carmine winced.
"Yeah," Efreet agreed, "Especially the part about it being 'final.'"
"Hookay," Onnama remarked, "Would this be a good time to mention that I got a thing against visiting extra-terrestrial bodies shaped like pirate totems?"
"You may register a complaint with the proper authorities," Senzenen noted, "But I somehow doubt such a move would be efficacious."
"I couldn't agree more," Tachi soberly noted, "This place does not bode well for tourism, and I doubt that they even have an embassy to complain to."
"Whatever the circumstances," Wanda rumbled, "We are here."
"Big Stuff right," Minx noted, "We here, no stop now."
"You got that right," Ryoma nodded in a particular direction, "Only that looks like the place where we're supposed to go. It's like we say in role playing games, when in doubt, find a castle."
They all turned to see the dark man-made structure standing atop a high peak, shaped like a cross between a dark Fantasy castle and a machine chisel. It was gloomy and foreboding, promising nothing wholesome for the unwary.
"That figures," Onnama grumbled, "All these castle thingies have to be dark and unwholesome...must be a contractual thing or something..."
"My Lord," Xandar inquired, "What shall we do now?"
"What can we do?' Touga shrugged, "When in Osaka, eat sushi."
"Okay, listen up people!" Ryoma turned around to address her fellow party members, "It should be obvious to anybody that we've been sent here to do a mission, and whatever it is, it probably involves that dark tower upon on a hill. Since we don't know the issues or motivations of the power that's backing us, we're gonna have to assume it's friendly and has very good reasons for putting us through these paces..."
"Why should we assume that?" Carmine argued, "It could just as easily be an evil force. After all, it grabbed us up out of our worlds without so much as a by-
your-leave."
"True enough," Tachi admitted, "But nothing we've seen so far indicates such negative motivations. After all...none of us have been harmed so far in our journeys, and we've even managed to do some good along the way. The force behind this is obviously very powerful and has some hidden reason for positioning us the way it has, but it's also giving us a choice about what we do when we arrive at a certain time and location."
"Yes," Tarot nodded, "We are being maneuvered, but we also allowed free will, and that suggests to me that the agency behind this needs to move carefully through hidden proxies. As we are all obviously the good guys, it makes sense that our mysterious backer knows full well that we will play the part of heroes in whatever environment we are sent to, and that would also imply that our purpose for being here is to subvert whatever power resides in that dark and foreboding tower complex. Add to this that my own perceptions confirm that an evil force is in residence and I think it safe to conclude that Ryo-chan's observation is entirely vindicated."
"I must also reluctantly concur with your observations," Touga agreed, "One does not send powerful and talented pawns into danger and possibly even battle without having a guiding plan to use their properties in some constructive manner. If the force behind our transfer were hostile it could just as easily dispose of us by dropping us into an environment where we have no hope of survival, but given that we all seem to be quite capable and talented fighters..."
"My lord," Senzenen asked, "Are you asking that we combine forces to lay siege to an enemy of whom we know nothing about?"
"My brothers have both spoken wisdom," Wanda answered for the Samurai retainer, "I sense a power of immense evil in the very ground beneath our feet, one that fairly cries out to the heavens for widespread death and destruction that would make the ruins of my world seem as innocent as that untamed wilderness setting we so recently were sent to...quite obviously with the intention of allowing us to get to know and trust each other, perhaps even with the intention of allowing us to choose to work together as more effective allies."
"That makes sense to me," Minos nodded, "That long stay in his Lordship's realm felt more like R&R than an actual field mission, like somebody was giving us time to get used to this business with world travel before sending us into the front lines. Count me in for whatever's ahead...at the very least I owe somebody a favor for meeting a really nice lady."
"Well, don't look at me if you expect me to stay out of this," Onnama shrugged, "In for a centimeter, in for a kilometer and all that..."
"It would seem then that we are united," Touga turned to Ryoma and said, "What then would you recommend for us, Sister?"
"Sure you wanna take my advice?" Ryoma replied, "After all, I'm just a commoner, Bro..."
"You are obviously much more than that," Touga replied, "And a part of being of the noble class means recognizing leadership and talent when it makes itself apparent. You have all the qualities it would take to make a good general of armies, and I would be a fool to discount the spirit of our mutual Mother that so clearly resides within you."
"Well spoken indeed, your Lordship," Tarot nodded, "But I think you would feel more at ease in your trust if Ryo-chan were restored to her natural status."
Thus spoken, the Amazon Witch made a gesture with one hand that caused a ball of moisture to congeal, then heated it to the appropriate temperature and splashed it on Ryoma, and while she was busy transforming into a he the Mage cast a secondary spell that altered the kimono that the Chef was wearing into a more appropriate and form-fitting gear resembling the traditional outfit normally worn by Ryoma's mother, Kuonji Ukyo.
"Yeah," Ryoma flexed his arms and stared down at himself before nodding, "That's a whole lot better. Thanks, Tarot-chan, I owe you one."
"Expect me to collect at the appropriate time and place," the blue haired girl smiled sweetly.
"Hmph," Carmine frowned, "So...what do we do now?"
"Obviously we have to find a way into that place," Tachi nodded to the dark and forbidding castle.
"Well, why don't we use that trail over there," Efreet pointed with her staff, "It looks mostly unguarded."
"Huh?" Minos and the others followed the Android's gesture and found that there was indeed a trail leading down from where they stood into the side of the mountain, a cave entrance clearly visible further down from their position.
"Excellent," Touga nodded, "Xandar, Yoriko."
"Lord!" both Ninja bowed, then with vaulting leaps descended the trail with a speed that defied description.
"They will scout the trail and inform us if there are any hidden dangers," Touga turned back to Ryoma and said, "If you will lead the way, Brother, I promise to faithfully serve your cause for the duration."
"Fine with me," Ryoma nodded, "Wanda and Minos, you guard the rear, Tachi and Onna-Sis, to hold the middle flanks, leave his Nibs and his buddy to the center. I'll take the lead, Tarot and Carmine-san, you stay with me, Efreet supplies air cover and Minx...well...do whatever you can to stay useful. Everybody stay ready and expect surprises, and remember to give each other plenty of elbow room, but don't forget to cover each others backsides. You see anything that moves, expect it to be hostile. Now everybody follow me."
With no further preamble the handsome pig-tailed boy moved forward, walking as casually as if descending a perfectly ordinary mountain trail, but those with eyes to see could tell that he moved with the cautious grace of a stalking hill panther, ready to strike in any direction. Touga took note of this and nodded in approval, then waved ahead and said, "After you, sweet ladies."
"Right," Carmine followed after the handsome boy, one eye taking in the serene expression Tarot was wearing as the two walked side-by-side just a few steps behind the boy who had so recently become their object of contention.
"My Lord?" Senzenen asked.
"We do as he has instructed," Touga explained, "In his world it is ability, not rank, which determines status, which is how it should be in my opinion. We will do our part in this play, old friend, and fight this battle together."
"I would never presume to question your wisdom," Senzenen bowed, "But though he is your half-brother, how do we know that we can trust our lives to such a person?"
"My dear Sens-chan," Touga murmured with a hint of real amusement, "Can you not see that he walks the path of a true warrior? The spirit of my mother is strong within him, and he moves with the ease of both a Samurai and a Ninja. I should not want such a one for my enemy, and were he a vassal in our lands I would be proud to acknowledge him for my brother."
"Then I will do as you command, my Lord," Senzenen replied, not bothering to add that he would stand between the mouth of Hell's gate and Touga should life itself be demanded on this quest.
"Nice to finally be doing something positive," Tachi mused, "I hope this quest justifies missing out on a day of classes."
"At least I don't have to take Home Ec this way," Onnama noted, "Kanazuchi'd probably try and feed me another of her poisoned hand grenades disguised as innocent-looking cookies."
"Your friend, my brother, appears to have leadership qualities indeed," Wanda murmured as she and Minos brought up the rear, "But how good would you rate him in an actual battle?"
"Promise not to tell anybody I said this?" Minos softly whispered, "I'd follow that guy to Hell itself...but like hell I'd admit it to his face. The thing about Ryoma that I can't stand most of the time is that he never loses, and what's worse...he knows it."
"But in this case you are willing to make an exception?" Wanda smiled in obvious amusement.
"Obviously," Minos replied with a sigh, "I just hope this ain't the one time he fails his lucky streak."
"Big Furry-Purry no have worry," chirruped the sprightly Minx as she walked on all fours on the SIDE of the rock face down which they were descending as though her clawed hands and feet were sticking to the rock like pitons, "Minx protect, you see."
Wanda eyed the rainbow-haired gremlin with a MOST dubious expression but said nothing for her own part, only silently avowing not to drop her guard again as long as the diminutive Ninja girl was ANYWHERE near to her presence.
"Okay gang," Ryoma spoke back in a low murmur that easily carried throughout the length of the party, "Stay sharp, we're about to enter those tunnels, and Efreet...try not to bump into the ceiling, will you?"
"Got it, Chief," the floating Demon Goddess replied, casting a glance back before adding, "If that's okay with you, Master?"
"Ah..." Tachi lopsidedly smiled, "Oh...it's just fine...I've got complete confidence in Ryo-chan when he's in his element, so you do what he tells you."
"Roger that," Efreet replied and continued hovering just over the heads of Carmine and the others, her key-staff held at the ready.
"And you two," Ryoma cast his voice over his shoulder so that it only reached the ears of the two girls directly behind him, "We're coming through this together, so try and keep the peace for now, huh? We run into any trouble you two fall back and cover yourselves, let me have room enough to do my thing, you got that Tarot-chan?"
"What do you expect me to do, Ryo-chan?" Tarot replied, "Leave myself undefended while worrying about you? I'm more than confident in your ability to take care of yourself."
"It ain't me you guys need to worry about," Ryoma replied, "I can handle most anything they throw at me...it's you who could get hurt if you're not careful."
"My Lord," Xandar appeared at the mouth of the cavern, "The way is clear for the first hundred paces, yet we have sensed the presence of enemies in the next large cavern, and there are sounds of battle further ahead in the distance."
"Understood," Touga nodded, "But you should make your report to my brother for the duration. I am appointing him temporary commander in charge of this expedition."
"My Lord?" Xandar looked surprised.
"That's right, guy," Ryoma responded, "You got any problem with taking orders from me?"
"Ah...no, my Lord," the Ninja bowed, "It will be as you command."
"Good," Ryoma nodded, "Then get back to your sister and don't let her out of your sight. Something about this place makes my skin crawl, and the last thing we need to do is leave our back unguarded, you got me?"
"Hai," the Ninja acknowledged, bowing before returning to the cave mouth and vanishing down the passage.
"Okay," Ryoma said, "From here on nobody does any talking unless it's super-
important. We go in quiet and keep a low profile, but if we have to make noise, we do it loud and hard, everybody understand me?"
"We're with you, Ryo," Tachi called from his position, "Soft penetration with a hard thrust, your specialty if I'm not too mistaken."
"Like you'd know from experience?" Ryoma sniffed before moving forward, even as Efreet smiled and added, "Sounds kinky."
Carmine frowned at the boy's back and Tarot took immediate notice, "Is something wrong, Carmine-san?"
"Who the heck does that guy think he is?" Carmine murmured, "Alexander the great?"
"Oh no," Tarot smiled, "Ryo-chan would never humble himself to that extent. He is cocky, arrogant, brash, a bit conceited, believes he is the Kami's gift to both sexes and knows that he is the best of the best when it comes to hand-to-
hand conflict."
"You mean he's got an ego the size of this hill in that rock he has for a head?" Carmine growled softly.
"Exactly," Tarot replied, "Which means he is just too perfect, ne?"
"Yeah," Carmine sighed, then together they trudged after the handsome sex-
swapping boy-Chef as though she and Tarot were drawn to him by the proverbial magnet.
Efreet, who had been watching all of this from slightly above and behind these two recent combatants, wondered if her sensors were defective...or did it really sound as if those two were behaving more like old friends than bitter rivals. She shook her head slowly and murmured softly to herself, "Humans are so weird sometimes..." then like the rest of the party followed Ryoma's lead into the dark and unfriendly tunnels, keeping a tight grip on her key-staff and silently reminding herself that Demon Gods were not afraid of ghosts...and quite the opposite in fact she would add with a very slight and entirely human shiver...
Continued.
Comments/Criticisms/Tunnels of Lost Love Spelunking: shadowmane
Things start to come together at long last in the next exciting chapter as Ranko forms her own posse while Ranma and Nabiki strive to make someone else's day a lot less pleasant, and what about the rest of our time-tossed heroes? Who is this mysterious Derek person and why is he doing all of this in the first place? For these and other questions, stay tuned for our next exciting chapter, "The Taming of the Crew," or "The Many Whines of Windsor!" Be there!
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