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Chapter 21
Zuko opened his eyes slightly, bothered by the sunlight barging into his room. For a firebender, he really hated sunlight.
He let out a soft chuckle -the first smile he's cracked in a long time- at the thought.
Sometimes he wondered why he was even born in such a tribe.
A tribe known for murder, abuse, violence, and so much more. His own father is the face of evil. Not only to those he has harmed, but to those close to him as well.
He shook his head at the crazy thoughts emerging from his brain so early in the morning. He took his fists to his eyes and rubbed the cold out of them noticing that when he went to lift his left arm there was a little bit of a struggle.
He looked down and saw Mai laying next to him. Nothing covering her except for the gold satin sheets haphazardly draped on the bed. He let out the longest side and closed his eyes as tight as he could.
Katara.
The name that once used to light up his chest and roll softly off his tongue now felt like jagged knives ripping through his body. He loved her more than he could ever admit but he was not one for emotions.
-I can't feel this way about her, she is nothing but a slave-
The thought sent shivers through him, but he let the train continue.
-How many times do I have to remind myself that she was bought for my pleasure for me to understand that I cannot have any emotional attachment to her.
Why do I put myself through these things. I have Mai, my lovely bride to be. And if my father knew that these thoughts where even occurring he would have her killed.-
Or worse.
He would keep her for himself,
He froze.
Zuko couldn't let that happen.
Mai yawned softly, opening her eyes just enough to peak at Zuko then she let them fluttered close one more time.
Zuko look down at her, he brought one rough hand up to her soft porcelain cheek and stroked it gently.
He sighed once more.
"I .. love .. you." He whispered the words carefully, making sure not to wake her.
He let his head hang down, allowed the sadness to envelope his heart.
He would never let his emotions fog his responsibilities as -hopefully- soon-to-be king.
He brought his head up slowly, clenching his jaw, and squinting with anger. His head fuming. His body aching.
"Katara means nothing to me." He said the word aloud, not caring if anymore heard.
Another shiver. He hoped these would stop soon.
Mai is my bride to be.
And Katara is nothing but a worthless slave.
A sex slave.
He squared his shoulders, sucked in air, brought out his chest, and repeated one more time:
Katara is nothing to me.
She is but a slave.
A sex slave meant to pleasure me.
Thee words he was saying caused such anger within himself that he felt heat radiating from his hands . He looked down and saw small flames lapping at his knuckles. He wished the fire away and brought his two hands down, caressing Mai's small face. He placed a soft kiss on her supple lips and kept his eyes shut as he placed his forehead against hers.
He whispered softly, "I love you, Mai. My beautiful bride to be."
He felt the sting of tears come on but pushed them back.
Mai opened her eyes slightly looking up at him and smiled feeling like she had finally broken through and that he had finally fallen in love with her.
She whispered a soft "I love you" back towards him and let her eyes close once more.
Zuko, despite the intense pain burning right through his heart, despite the feeling of his whole life falling into forgotten pieces, intertwined his fingers with Mai's.
He slipped back into his position next to Mai and lay still in the bed, Mai instinctually wrapping around him. He let his eyes close and began drifting into a restless sleep.