Promise
Final Fantasy VII

By: Bahamuts AngelVII

A/N: Italicized means thinking.

Chapter 20

"Cloud, I've gotta question." Yuffie said loudly. Cloud cast her an annoyed look, but let her speak. The rest of the crew was out of the mansion for the day. Yuffie decided to take advantage of her little alone time with Cloud. "Do you love Aeris?"

"…"

"Oh, Cloud, please be honest today! I want to know. And for once, I won't yell it to the whole world." She said, somewhat sincerely. He looked at her and decided to give into the angry little ninja's words.

"I think so… But I don't think it was just Aeris."

"So what was it?"

"I can't explain."

"I don't understand how you got over her so effin' quick." Yuffie said accusatorily.

"I don't expect you to."

"Try and explain, then!" She exclaimed, obviously not put off at all by Cloud's rude demeanor. He grinned a bit.

"I guess I just accepted it."

"What happened to the grieving period?"

"I guess it's over quickly."

"Well what the hell!"

"Yeah, yeah, Yuffie. I don't even know myself. I just… I guess every time I think of Aeris… She feels like just a memory… I feel so guilty for that, but I know she wants it this way."

"How?"

"Sometimes I hear her."

"You sure you're not just going insane?"

"Uhh, I'm pretty sure my sanity is still intact."

"Good."

"Does it even make sense?"

"Of course it does. Well, not totally… But you're you, Cloud, and you don't make total sense anyway." Yuffie laughed.

"Why did you want to know, anyway?"

"Call it curiosity."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying, 'Curiosity killed the cat'? Since when did you get so nosy?"

"Oh, silly, you misunderstand! I've always been so nosy. I just don't utilize my abilities all of the time. Besides, we all like to understand what's going on in your head every once in awhile." Yuffie cast a sideways glance at Cloud. "And it's kind of obvious that you like Tifa." She added under her breath.

"What?" He asked.

"What?" She quickly asked back, as if nothing had ever happened.

Later

Tifa and Cloud sat together on a park bench outside of the mansion. A cold wind wrapped around them and sped off, gone as quick as it had come. The stars sparkled brightly above them. Sometimes, Tifa noticed, the stars seemed to mock you, but sometimes they were warm and inviting and full of hope. That night, the stars were inviting. Tifa sighed, watching her breath float up to the sky. Although they weren't talking, it wasn't awkward. They held hands and thought their separate thoughts.

Cloud leaned his head back against the back of the bench. He stared up at the sky, his head swimming. Cloud grasped Tifa's hand in his. He didn't want to let go.

"Hey, Cloud…" Tifa began.

"Yeah?" He asked, immediately bringing his eyes to her.

"Do you love Aeris?" She asked, her voice free of pressure.

"… I miss her…" He murmured.

"I know… Sorry." She turned her head to end the conversation.

"But I…" Cloud wouldn't let her end it. He had to do this. "I didn't love her as much as I thought." This caught Tifa's attention. She turned to him.

"What?"

"I thought she was someone who would always complete me. I thought she was exactly what I wanted… But she wasn't… She was most of those things… But sometimes when I looked at her I knew that no matter what I wouldn't be completely happy spending my life with her."

"Why not?"

"… … Hey Tifa, who do you love?"

"Me?" She asked, baffled by the subject change.

"Yeah."

"Well…"

"Do you love Vincent?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"He loved you."

"… I don't think he did. He loves Lucrecia. He always has…"

"It doesn't mean he doesn't love you." Cloud began. "I mean, look at it… Someone could love someone else for a long while… But it doesn't mean they can't love someone else, too." Cloud looked into Tifa's eyes with such force she had to look down. But he brought her gaze up by lifting her chin up. "Tifa?"

"I don't think he did anyway. I mean, not truly. He loves Lucrecia…"

"It doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

"Doesn't it?"

The two stopped talking and turned away. Too many things were going unsaid, and they could feel it. They let go of each other's hands simultaneously. Tifa wished she could tell him that she loved him, although she knew he didn't love her. She could see it in his eyes.

Cloud wished he could tell Tifa exactly what he wanted. But he couldn't, because he was too afraid. But then he stopped. He could be strong. He could do it… Couldn't he?

Tifa rethought the situation. She wanted to tell him. She knew this would be her one chance to admit the truth. If she didn't say it now, she never would think about it again. She would be too ashamed.

"Hey Cloud." She said a little flatly. He turned to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"I have something I need to say…"

"What is it?"

"But first… Do you love Aeris?"

"… The feelings I've felt for Aeris could certainly be compared to love."

"Do you still love her?" This was obviously the more tender question.

"Honestly?" Cloud looked into Tifa's eyes. What was she getting at? The intensity was too much and he pulled away. "Honestly… I do." He lied. Why did he lie?

"Oh…" Tifa said, trying to mask her disappointment. "That's okay then…"

"Wait, what did you want to tell me?"

"Nothing important."

"Tifa…"

"What?"

"Stop doing this."

"Stop what?" She feigned stupidity. She had to, because if she didn't, she might've started to cry.

"Tifa tell me what's wrong. Stop avoiding me…"

"Cloud…"

"Tifa!"

"… Cloud… You never… You never really cared… Did you?"

"What?"

"Oh God… Jesus, Cloud…" Tifa turned away, her breathing got rocky and her whole body shook. He grabbed her and was going to turn her around before she snapped his hand away. He put his hands on his lap. She continued to talk and she didn't really know why. But she knew that she couldn't have stopped herself if she tried.

"Cloud… I was waiting… I knew… I knew no matter what happened, everything would be alright, as long as you were happy… But it didn't matter… Did it? Cloud you promised… You promised we'd always be… We'd be as close as ever. You were my knight in shining armor. I know, I know, it was just a childish promise… But I wish it would've been kept. Cloud… You promised… But they don't even mean anything. Cloud, am I really that worthless? How come I'm not good enough? Cloud, what's wrong with me?!" Tifa paused. Cloud was gaping at her. He didn't speak. She knew he wanted her to continue. Tifa took a deep breath and started to talk again. Tears poured down her face, and she didn't even care.

"Cloud… I love you. I've loved you since we were kids… Since the days when we fought together, since the day we met. I always wanted to know if you felt the same way. Cloud… Why did you fall in love with Aeris? I don't mean to say it is wrong… But Cloud… Why are there so many things wrong with me? Why… why did I have to fall in love with you? I still want to know… I still want to know why it doesn't work. Why can't I be loved…? Why wasn't I ever good enough? You always talked about how Aeris was always there for you, but so was I, Cloud. I am always here for you… I'm not trying to say you should love me… But Cloud… How long can I keep this up? How long must I wait before this is all over? Cloud Strife… I love you. And I know you don't love me… But I've always been here… And it's never, ever, been enough…" Tifa remembered this from what she told Vincent. She didn't want to see Cloud's expression.

Tifa listened to anything but herself and Cloud. She focused on the outline of the well but its edges were fuzzy and she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She was about to say more before Cloud's voice broke the silence. His voice was shaking.

"…Tifa…"

"Sorry." She mumbled.

"Tifa, don't you know anything?"

Tifa cried even harder. She didn't expect Cloud to be harsh with her.

"No… I guess not."

"I love you."

Tifa's head shot up. What?

"Since always, Tifa… Since always…"

"I can't believe it. You've been in love with Aeris…"

"No, Tifa… Listen."

"No, you listen! Cloud I can't take this anymore. I need to get out of here… I can't stay…"

"Why not?"

"Because it's hard… It's hard to tolerate this. I'm sorry, Cloud." Tifa took off as fast as her legs would carry her. She ran down the path to the entrance of Nibelheim. And all Cloud could do was watch.

A/N: That was sort of crappy… Well, review! Why do you guys not review! Seriously folks!