He wasn't sure how it had happened. This was a disconcerting thought, he was The Batman, and he was supposed to know how everything happened. Also, he wasn't supposed to be okay with it, he should have put an end to this the second it started, he should an end to it right now but he just turned the page of his book, being very careful not to jostle the person inexplicably resting on his shoulder.
In their/his efforts to avoid Flash they had ended up in the one place both of them knew that the Speedster would never voluntarily go, the library. Pretending that he didn't know the way around his own house and that he had no clue as to how Bruce Wayne organized his library he had let Diana take the lead. She had, naturally, taken them straight to the Ancient Greek section and grabbed a book of ancient poems. Although he applauded her choice he had gone more conservative, a couple of texts in Latin that he had been meaning to read but hadn't had the time for. She'd raised an eyebrow but hadn't commented.
With their hands still attached they'd had no choice but to sit on the couch facing the library's garden window. He had settled on the edge, she in the middle. It was pleasant enough; he wasn't often forced to take a break. And she didn't natter incessantly, he couldn't imagine if he'd been stuck with Flash or Superman.
Then it had happened, he had been in the middle of translating a particularly difficult passage when she'd absently shifted slightly, brow still furrowed at what she was reading. And all of a sudden her feet were up on the couch, she'd curled into a little ball with the book balanced on her knees, leaning onto his arm with her head slightly on his shoulder. Their joined hands still between them.
He hadn't read a thing since.
She'd realized the moment she'd done it. It had been an unconscious movement, she was just getting more comfortable on the couch, totally engrossed in her book. It was the same position she read in when she was in her room on the Watchtower, curled up against a large collection of pillows. It had taken about four seconds for her to realize that she wasn't curled up against pillows but against the muscled, warm mass that was Batman. She'd frozen. She was still frozen and completely unsure as to why she hadn't moved. It would be easy. She could just get up. She could stretch and slide away. She could claim she could hear Flash coming. Anything, but she didn't, because he didn't.
Then it had happened. He was nonchalantly reading his book, had just flipped the page, when he shifted slightly. It wasn't much, a slight shimmy, a casual drop of one shoulder, small readjustments of his posture and suddenly her head was fully on his shoulder and she was more comfortable then she'd been in a long time. Plus he was warm, despite being nearly invulnerable growing up on a tropic island had left her with a constant desire for heat. Her room was full of various blankets and sweaters, none of which anyone else saw mind you. But Batman was warm, the man seemed to radiate heat and that was the deciding factor.
She wasn't moving until he did.
The time passed in silence. It wasn't the kind of silence that made the world feel uncomfortable but the kind of silence that is a balm to the soul, it refreshes and invites perspective. The sun dipped slowly across the sky, beautiful but a constant reminder that this time was fleeting, precious, a single moment in existence.
As was his gift, it was Flash that broke their silence, his voice echoing down the hallways of the mansion, "Bats? Di? Where are you at?"
The Knight and Princess met each other's eyes for the first time since they'd sat down as she tilted her head back to look at him and said, "What are the chances that he won't look in here?"
"He won't," Batman grunted, "But Shayara will." They'd been sitting in their uniforms and the dirt and sweat from the earlier battle all afternoon and she still smelled like peaches. It was disconcerting.
Diana stretched contentedly, "So where are we hiding?"
"Pardon?" Batman seemed legitimately confused. It was too out of character for her to actually avoid her teammates.
She smirked at him, "When people look for you they rarely find you. You just sort of pop out of the woodwork when we start talking about you. So, where are we hiding?"
He smirked back, "Come on."
The door to the library swung open, "I'm just saying," Flash was gesturing wildly, "when you're in the home of a billionaire you don't spend time in the library. This is a waste of time."
"Maybe you don't spend time in the library," Shayara looked like she was at her wits end, "but this is Batman, can you see him playing video games?" Diana looked closer and had to stuff a laugh back down her throat. She squeezed Batman's hand knowing he'd understand her mirth, even if he didn't appreciate it.
They were all wearing grey t-shirts with black bats across the chest. Diana was curious as to why but she stopped caring the minute she caught a glimpse of their backs. Emblazoned in capital letters across their backs were the words 'TEAM BATMAN' with smaller letters underneath that Diana couldn't quite make out.
"Gotta feel bad for Diana though," Flash was saying, "I mean come on, stuck to Batman for who knows how long? The guy's a great detective, scary as crap, glad he's on our side but in terms of conversation and just hanging out? Not so much."
"Just be thankful it's not you," John said shining his ring around the library, "If anyone can handle Batman its Wonder Woman. If he gives her any crap at least she'll give it right back to him."
"They're a powder keg," Shayara added, "I'm surprised we haven't heard them screaming at each other yet. Just be thankful that Wayne isn't here."
"I thought you didn't hate him anymore?" Flash asked, tilted his head sideways to look at an abstract painting on the wall.
Shayara responded by pulling him farther, "I don't. But mark my words, Wayne would have spent the entire time flirting with Diana and Batman would get all…" she couldn't quite find the word.
John supplied it, "bristled."
"Oh come on," Flash objected, "Bats is always bristly, you make it sound like Diana is special or something." Now Diana was curious again. Batman made to move into the light but she forcibly stopped him, wanting to hear what their teammates had to say. He didn't look pleased, but he didn't speak up either.
Shayara shrugged, "I just follow the evidence. Come on Flash, Diana gets more words out of Batman then anybody and he's more likely to pop up when she's around."
"Coincidence," Flash said, "maybe she's only around when important things are happening. Besides Bats always just yells at her or tells her to do better or to stop slacking off."
"That's grade school crush 101," John reminded him, "Come on, you grew up here. You don't remember picking on the girl that you liked? But then getting protective if anyone else did it?"
"Uh I guess," Flash admitted, "still I don't buy it. Bats is too 'not human', trust me if anyone could not notice Wondy's hotness it's him."
"Ten bucks says you're wrong," John challenged.
Flash agreed, "Deal! Ok come on, they're obviously not here. Not-Jeeves is going to be upset if we don't tell them that he's got dinner for them." They exited the room.
Batman and Diana dropped to the carpet from where they'd been perching on a bookcase.
She couldn't resist, "So many options, do I talk about the t-shirts, the 'bristly' comment, the school boy crush or you not noticing my hotness?"
"You'll talk about whatever pleases you, regardless of my opinion," he said darkly, "I want dinner."
Alfred was enjoying this. Despite years of training he had to forcibly hold his smile in check when Batman came through the door of the kitchen, hand in hand with Wonder Woman and bickering. Master Bruce only bickered with people he thought were worth his time, anyone else was summarily ignored or defeated in a sentence. The only thing tempering his joy was that Master Bruce continued to persist in his charade.
Still he was a good butler, he wasn't going to be the one to blow the whistle, "Your Highness, Master," Alfred knew that he'd temporarily stopped Bruce's heart, "Batman, welcome. If you're interested I have dinner set aside for you." He didn't wait for a response but instead slide two plates out of the oven and onto the table.
"Thank you Alfred," Diana smiled like a shark, "Alfred, I believe Bruce once told me that you're an expert in manners?"
The butler poured them water, "Well Your Highness, although I do have British training which is more comprehensive then the American system," he sniffed the words, "I would hardly call myself an expert. Still if I can assist you at all, I'd be happy to try."
"When a lady asks a man a question, is he or is he not obligated to answer her both immediately and truthfully?" Diana asked him, watching Batman out of the corner of her eye.
Alfred nodded immediately, "Indeed Miss it is, especially if the lady in question is royalty. I've found truth to be important in every situation." Alfred eyed his charge.
Batman ignored them both, choosing instead to dig into the plate of food before him.
Diana was not to be deterred, "Well there you go Batman, you have to answer the question. Do you, or do you not, find me attractive?"
Alfred's face twitched, luckily Diana was so focused on Batman and Batman so focused on his food that both missed it. He might have felt sorry for Bruce if his charge hadn't repeatedly mentioned that he could get out of any situation, Alfred looked forward to seeing him evade this one.
Batman didn't look up, "Empirically speaking I would have to, you've been voted People Magazine's most attractive woman every year since you got here." He shoved more food into his mouth to avoid having to say more.
"I didn't ask about empirically speaking," Diana said clearly getting her ire up, "I asked if you Batman, personally think I'm attractive."
"You're a trusted colleague; I don't have time to pursue thoughts like that…" he began.
She cut him off, "You're hedging. I'll make it simple. Am I attractive to you, yes or no?"
The cowled eyes finally lifted off the plate and met hers, Alfred held his breath.
"Don't answer that," Superman's voice answered the kitchen, "Lois asked me that once. It was a trap, there was no right answer. You say yes and she goes on about how you only like her for her body. You say no and she's insulted and you'll hear about from here to kingdom come."
Superman and J'onn entered the kitchen, "Diana what are you doing to poor Batman?" J'onn asked, "his thoughts are panicked." J'onn received a Batglare for his comment.
"Reeeeeeally?" Diana's eyes glinted.
Batman's voice was gruff, "Nice shirt boy scout." Superman too was wearing a Batman shirt with a hole cut into it to accommodate J'onn's head.
The man of steel grinned, "I thought you might like them. Kayla brought them back with her. She said something about 'when in Gotham'." Superman shrugged, "after Flash sent us all flying into the pool anything was better than wet uniforms."
"Told you it was a good idea to avoid Flash," Batman said softly.
Kayla Wayne sauntered into the kitchen, "Alfred, have you seen my gold bag? The sparkly one that matches these shoes? I like need to get going or I'm going to be more then fashionably late."
"I believe Miss Kayla," Alfred said, "I saw something of the sort in the drawing room."
"Ah right," she mused. Then, "Batman, Wonder Woman! Hey! Do you like the shirts? I've got some for you too; they're like in the living room." She turned to Superman, "did he see the back yet? They've all got different sayings on the back. Some guy was selling them on like the street corner and I couldn't resist. Plus now, he can like buy dinner." Kayla grinned.
"The limo will be here in two minutes," Alfred reminded her.
She readjusted her mini skirt, "Right. I'm going. See you all!"
"So," Diana had to ask, "What does the back of your shirt say?"
Superman grinned slightly, "Well she certainly has a sense of humour." Turning around the words TEAM BATMAN glared at them and underneath in smaller letters, SUPERMAN WISHES HE WAS THIS COOL. A choking sound came from Batman; with a touch of her superspeed Diana was just able to catch a smile on Batman's face. She squeezed his hand. It didn't feel as odd as it had before.
Superman must have caught the smile too as he was quick to corral the other Leaguers.
Flash's back had, TEAM BATMAN – THE BATGLARE IS A SUPERPOWER
Shayara, TEAM BATMAN – ASSKICKING EXPERTS
John, TEAM BATMAN – IMMORTAL, DEATH HAS FEARS TOO…
J'onn had been given a shirt too, although he wasn't wearing it, TEAM BATMAN - TOO GOOD FOR SUPERPOWERS
Flash tossed them each a shirt, "Here these are for you guys. We chose who gets what based on personality…" His smile widened then dropped slightly, as he hid behind Shayara.
Diana flipped hers over on the table, TEAM BATMAN – BECAUSE THE BEST MEN ARE TALL, DARK AND SCARY. Shayara was waiting to catch her eye and winked. Diana shook her head.
Craning her neck she caught sight of Batman's shirt, TEAM BATMAN – INSPIRING THE NIGHTMARES OF A GENERATION. He however, wasn't looking at the shirt but was gazing hard at the kitchen window, conflict written clearly on his face. There, shining in the night sky was the batsignal, waiting for its hero to answer its call.
The others caught on soon. "Uh oh," It was Flash of course, "what are you gonna do Bats?"
He didn't reply, just stared at the sky with his jaw clenched.
Superman tried to reassure him, "I'm sure Batgirl will have the situation under control."
Batman's head whipped around as though the thought had just occurred to him. He stood and growled, "I'm going." Diana had no choice but to stumble after him.
"This is inadvisable," J'onn said, "based on our current condition…"
"I don't care," Batman didn't break stride, "It's my city. Do you have a problem with this Princess?"
From his tone Diana knew that if she did have a problem with it the solution would be for him to knock her unconscious and go anyway. She took to the sky and hoisted him up to her level, "Not at all." They were out the door before anyone else could object.
Diana was understandably curious; none of the League had ever worked with Batman in his city before. They landed on the top of the police building; the Commissioner was waiting for them.
"Batman," Gordon said, "thought you weren't coming. And you uh brought Wonder Woman." He was trying not to blatantly stare at the fact that they were holding hands.
Batman cut off his curiosity, "The fight in Gotham this morning was unusual, for the moment we're a package deal."
"Nice to meet you," Wonder Woman said
"Likewise," Gordon was wise enough to not press the topic, "I just wish it was better circumstances. The Joker got out."
Batman tensed, "From Arkham. Anyone else?"
"Just Harley Quinn. Someone was coming right for them, knew exactly where they were. The walls to just their cells were blown with precision blasts and they were gone before the dust cloud had even cleared. Not one camera or guard caught a single thing coming or going." The Commissioner cut right to the summary. He passed Batman an envelope, "Copies of the crime scene photos, some bomb residue but I don't think it's going to tell us much. There was a case just like this in…"
"Metropolis, I know." Batman tucked the envelope into the depths of his cape, "Someone broke out Metallo with the same methodology. I've already linked that to the Belle Reve escape, same bombs used."
Gordon lit a cigarette, the wind blowing the smoke away, "So we're looking for a cross-city guy who's willing to work with the Joker? Most of these supervillians stay away from Gotham's crazies." They were already gone and Gordon was talking to the wind. He wasn't perturbed, "Keep me posted," then he mumbled softer, "lucky dog, gets stuck to Wonder Woman."
Batman spent the next couple of hours digging through the rubble at Arkham, terrorizing it's guards and doing what Diana had privately dubbed 'detective-things-that-I'm-not-explaining'.
Wonder Woman spent the next couple of hours lifting heavy boulders, getting catcalled by the inmates, stared at by the guards and watching Batman do his detective thing.
She was more than thankful when it was time for them to go. Leading them away from the prison and back into the shadows Batman said, "I need to go to the Cave."
She rolled her shoulders, "You're actually warning me? No unanticipated knockout gas or punch to the back of the head?" He didn't respond, just put a hand to the side of cowl. He'd been corresponding with someone all night.
"She's sure Oracle?" Batman asked. Then nodded, "No, it makes sense. Alright patch us over." The next second Diana felt the familiar sensation that accompanied the League teleporters and the BatCave appeared before her.
Diana's eyes widened, then narrowed, "Not that I'm complaining Batman but I thought we weren't supposed to use the teleporters in our current condition?"
"Batgirl's verified the source of the problem, because of our limited attachment there was an extremely low probability of any adverse effects." He made his way over to one of the largest computers Wonder Woman had ever seen, "Batgirl," he barked, his voice ringing out in the expanse of the cave.
Diana wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but it wasn't this. The cave was huge, relatively well lit, cleaner than it should have been for all the bats on the ceiling. There were multiple levels, one housing a variety of Batmobiles and Batplanes. Another seemed to contain a variety of costumes in glass cases, Diana was a little confused to see a giant penny and a t-rex. One level appeared to house both a full medical facility and a laboratory. It also housed one of the best gyms she'd ever seen, complete with full gymnastic set-up. If she wasn't mistaken there was a complete virtual reality center as well, and that was only what she could see at a quick glance.
"This is," she fought for the right word, "impressive, Batman."
He grunted, staring intently at the computer but not touching it. A figure with a yellow cape dropped in front of them from a higher level, "I was working on a cure." Batgirl said.
"Oracle said you'd figured it out," Batman said, both a statement and a question.
She nodded, "I dropped by the Manor, didn't bother explaining the science, just told them that I should have them out of this by lunch tomorrow. In reality it was caused by an overstimulation of nuclear laminins."
Batman nodded, although this made no sense to Diana. He motioned to the BatComputer "I need you to update my files with this," he threw Gordon's notes to her, "and then take my dictation. I can't type fast enough with one hand."
She nodded and took a seat at the computer. Diana took a chance, "Nuclear laminins?"
Batgirl was apparently in a better mood then before, "Cell adhesion molecules, three alpha chains held together in the shape of a cross. They literally hold your body together, typically attaching the extracellular matrix to the basal lamina. They're in all your cells. The mixture in the bomb caused them to become overstimulated and adhering to any nearby cells that they could find. Thus skin on skin contact results in sticking."
Diana wasn't sure how long they spent in the Cave as there didn't seem to be any clocks. Occasionally Batgirl would dart off, saying something about a centrifuge and then return to continue taking Batman's orders. Diana felt sorry for her, the man was relentless in his pursuit of the Joker, having her pull up hundreds of cameras, video files and other seemingly unrelated items.
Although it was fascinating to watch them work Diana was getting antsy. She ended up doing one armed pull-ups off of a nearby support beam. Batman either felt like-wise or wanted to show her up because he started doing the same, only instead of a support beam he was using her arm. It's not like she couldn't handle the weight.
Finally Batman let them all go to bed.
Even Batgirl sounded tired, "Alright, into the teleporter and I'll send you back to the Manor."
Batman's comment surprised Diana, "Make sure you get some sleep."
Batgirl nodded once, "I've got to test the pH in twenty but I should be able to catch about an hour before the Rovotrap and distillation, then twenty minutes until the sep' funnel." She pressed a button on the console and they were back in the Manor's foyer.
Alfred had given them all rooms when they'd first arrived at the Manor. Diana thought that theirs looked suspiciously like the master bedroom but Alfred had insisted that they use it anyway. Batman didn't seem to have any problem with using Bruce Wayne's room so Diana didn't comment.
There was a note taped to a lamp
- Batman, Star Labs radioed about two bodies that they want the League to look into from Metropolis. It sounded urgent. Let me know if you're interested, otherwise I'll scan them myself tomorrow afternoon. – Superman.
Batman slipped the note into his belt. Neither seemed to quite know what to do, Diana at least was exhausted but she didn't know how to approach the situation either. Finally she thought of an opening, "You're really going to sleep in the uniform?" she asked, "Kevlar and bullet plates are not typical sleepwear."
He didn't sound tired at all, he was used to late hours, "And you're sleeping in your armour? That metal breastplate hardly looks comfortable…" he trailed off and she fought the urge to cross her arms.
She shrugged with fake air of nonchalance, "I don't have any other options. You could at least take off the top, cape and belt."
He almost smiled ruefully, "I appreciate the sentiment Princess, but after almost fourteen hours straight in the suit including battle and digging through crime scenes without the suit's filters I'd hardly smell like a basket of roses."
"I know," she agreed, "I'd love a shower but..." she shrugged, the reason obvious.
He paused, she recognized the look. It was the kind that she usually saw in battle, the kind that meant he'd just come up with a risky but ultimately successful plan. Batman crossed to Wayne's closet and rummaged through it until he came up with a huge black t-shirt and two pairs of gym shorts. Diana wasn't even sure why the shirt was there, the thing was double the size of Bruce Wayne and resembled a small tent.
He paused again, "You really want a shower?"
Diana bit her lip, "Yes…" she said hesitantly.
He ripped one of the sleeves off and tossed her the shirt "Put that on over your uniform." She did so and then he continued in a tone that would have seemed bashful if she didn't know better. "Oracle use to do this when she was Batgirl and we didn't have anywhere to change. You just," she could have sworn he was blushing, "take the uniform off under the shirt. It covers everything, then pull the gym shorts on and shower in the lighter outfit. When you're done pull another shirt and shorts on underneath again and you're good to go."
It made sense to her. Yes it was slightly embarrassing but she wanted a shower, he wasn't going to see anything and by the gods, she was an Amazon. She shouldn't get embarrassed. "What about you?" she asked.
"I wear a high tech fabric bottom under the suit," he told her bluntly, "they should suffice."
She grinned to hide her embarrassment that they were discussing his underwear, "you would make high tech boxers."
They changed quickly despite the awkwardness of the situation and the fact that they each only had one hand. They avoided eye contact at all costs.
Stepping into the shower Batman had never been more thankful that Bruce Wayne was the kind of overdone billionaire who needed two separate shower heads in one giant shower. He may have exceptional willpower but the thought of Wonder Woman in nothing but a wet t-shirt and gym shorts was a lot even for him. He kept his eyes on the wall.
Wonder Woman broke the awkward silence, "Could you um, pass the shampoo?"
He did so and thirty seconds later she had collapsed against the shower wall.
Alarmed he reached out after her, "Diana?"
She was laughing, gut-wrenching, pain-inducing laughter. He suspected tears were running down her cheeks but the shower prevented him from being certain. He tried again, "Diana?" He focused on her face.
"Ssssorry," she barely managed to get out, "It's just that this whole thing is so ridiculous. I mean we're stuck together yes but even more than that. I'm taking a shower with The Batman. The Batman just passed me shampoo. I mean, you're wearing the cowl in the shower. I've seen The Batman's boxers and they have tiny grey bats on them. It's just," she covered her face with her hands, "a little bit surreal."
There were many ways he could handle this. He chickened out, "You're clearly exhausted." She'd also managed to get the shampoo in her hair but hadn't managed to rinse it all out. A strand of soap started weaving its way down her face, the bravery returned, "besides I'm currently the envy of all males and many females everywhere," he boasted, trying to shock her back to alertness, "I'm taking a shower with Wonder Woman. Now get up." He ended up lifted her to her feet.
"Ow," she complained.
"What?" he was slightly alarmed that he'd hurt her.
She grinned the kind of smile that is normally reserved for the drunk, "Soap in my eye."
He raised an eyebrow, "You take metahuman punches and complain about getting soap in your eyes."
"It stiiiiiiings," she almost sounded like she was whining, that was new.
He was practical, "so wash it out."
"I'm tiiiiiiiiired Batman." She rested her head on the shower wall, "I've got a lot of hair and only free hand. Help me?"
And he did. The Batman could never be called a coward. He got the shampoo out of her hair, cleaned the sweat off himself in record time, shut off the water and threw a towel in her face. Five minutes later they were in the Team Batman shirts and gym shorts, Batman of course had the cowl as well, but no cape.
The whole getting into bed bit could have been awkward except that Wonder Woman was pretty much asleep on her feet and he had no choice but to pick her up and drop her on the bed. Crawling in beside her and being very careful not to touch anything that wasn't already stuck to his hand, Batman realized that he had just had the oddest day of his life. And with his particular life, that was saying something.
Nuclear laminins, amazing stuff - seriously you should go google that jazz (fibronectin too, it does the same thing). As far as I know all of the science is more or less sound so feel bad for Batgirl, if you've never used a Rovotrap or done a distillation it takes a long time and is really boring.
I finally wrote an actual BMWW chapter so I'm feeling fairly proud of myself, thanks for slogging through all 4500 words with me!
And personally I think that the shower scene is one of my favourite parts so far, every time I picture it I get a bad case of the giggles; although the TEAM BATMAN shirts were pretty fun too...