Ava, let go of her.
That voice. She knew that voice, yet it was unfamiliar.
Ava, let go of her!
She couldn't remember. Was that voice in her head, or coming from in front of her? She couldn't tell. She couldn't see. She couldn't feel anything other than Sorcha's body heavy on her lap. Her body.
What had she just done?
Ava! Let go!
Her body because she was truly dead this time.
You need to let her go.
Let go. Letting go was easy. Just relax the fingers, step back. Walk away without looking over her shoulder. She could do that. She had done it before. Hadn't she? Maybe she never really did.
Ava!
Relax. Let go. She did, and was immediately greeted by the sensation of being pulled out of a strong current she hadn't noticed she was in. The ground caught her. She spent a second trying to open her eyes before Greer's voice finally registered.
"Ava? Can you hear me?"
A brief flash of light made her realize her eyes were open, the room was just very dark now. Greer was hovering over her.
"Too bright, Greer." Ava hissed, reaching up to grab her Ghost.
Greer moved back out of her reach, her light flickering around the empty room. "I had to make sure you were still breathing."
"No, Greer, no light. It's dark. Be dark."
"Right. Sorry."
Slowly, Ava pushed herself to her feet and reached for her now dark Ghost. This time Greer came to her. She took a shallow, painful breath. "Same place. Different time. Where are you Thing?"
"Here. Always here. You, however, just left."
Greer? Ava was holding her Ghost against her chest, afraid to let go of her.
I believe we are the strange reading I was picking up earlier.
You mean, before- She didn't even finish the thought. Greer did it for her.
Before you attacked Valora? Yes.
Ava started pacing, shaking out her joints. She was trying to control the panic, the urge to run or lash out. There was nowhere to go, and nobody else to hit.
Nothing to do. Nothing to do. Nothing to do. The thought bounced around her head, making her dizzy. Nothing. Nothing.
Breathe.
"Interesting, little flighty thing. What are you going to do about what you are going to do?"
Again, Greer had to remind her to breath. The thought of interfering crossed her mind. It would be so easy to just end it all before it even had a chance to begin. What exactly were the protocols on shooting oneself? Probably less strict than attempted murder of a Ghost. "Nothing I can do."
"Untrue."
"Fine." Ava pulled a new knife from her belt, but only held it clenched in an angry fist. She had left the other in Sorcha's chest.
Murderer.
It wasn't Greer's voice that needled into Ava's thoughts. It might have been her own, but she wasn't so sure. She slammed her knife into one of the pillars, chipping some of the concrete and breaking the tip off the blade. "Nothing I will do. Happy now?"
"I am unfamiliar with happiness."
She laughed, then remembered she shouldn't draw any unnecessary attention. Of course, she was about to create one hell of a distraction anyway. Did it really matter? Did anything really matter?
Nothing, nothing, nothing-
Ava, breathe.
Her fading focus returned to Thing. "Of course. You're bitter, and ancient. You've never been happy once."
"I am not familiar with bitterness either."
"Yes you are." Ava laughed again, coldly, but this time it sounded wrong to her ears. Almost like it hadn't been her who made the noise. "I know you are because I am, and so was she. We're part of you now. You blame the Golden Age for creating you, but we only woke you up then. I created you. So no excuses. No talking in circles. Just tell me what I need to know, or how to remember it," she paused before grudgingly adding, "without it killing me."
"You have asked me that before."
"Well-" Ava started loudly, then clenched her teeth, reminding herself to stay calm before continuing softer. "What did you tell me then?"
"To give up."
"I hate you."
"You have said that before as well. This conversation is becoming tedious."
Ava paused in her pacing and slumped against a pillar. Not just circles, but a downward spiral this time. "What do you remember? From before you were just a bunch of pieces of somebody else, what do you remember?" Not a relevant question, but that pity and yearn to understand something- someone- entirely different than her it was still there. Somehow it was rooted in her even after countless death.
Thing was quiet for a moment before responding. Perhaps it was a hesitation. "I am not like you."
"Not so different, at least, not anymore. What about this?" Ava gestured vaguely to the darkness around them with her broken knife. "I know you don't create it. You pull it from somewhere. The light too, that blue light. Where does it come from."
"The adjustment of the light is merely tactical."
"It smells different when it's dark. It smells like the caves below the surface. The light is different too, it has a feeling, like the gates. You pull them both from a specific place, a specific time because they mean something to you. I could look if you won't answer."
"You would not waste your energy."
"I'm not known for making the best decisions." Ava snapped back. She waited for a moment in silence before shrugging. "But you're right, I don't need to know that bad." She slid down the pillar to the ground, cradling both Greer and the knife in her lap. "I think you want to help, whether that's the piece of me, or some undamaged part of her, or maybe something in you, there's something good. I don't think you're an evil creature. "
"You do not believe in evil."
It was not a question, but Ava answered it. "Not as a character trait, no."
"And yet you kill anyway."
"Yes." It still hadn't been a question, and yet she felt as if she had to justify her answer somehow. "I don't think one must be inherently evil to do harm. I think it's complicated. I think-" She sighed, then shook her head. It didn't really matter what she thought. Nothing mattered.
Nothing nothing nothing nothing-
"You think a great many things for such a small creature."
"Well, I know you want to help me because you've done it before."
"Give up. There is nothing more to say to you other than that."
"I'm not known for that either." Ava searched the darkness before whispering, "Why do you want to help?"
Surprisingly, an answer came from the darkness quickly. "Because I have seen the world through different eyes, and I find I understand."
Ava nodded briefly before leaning her head back and closing her eyes. She could hear muffled shouting through the door. She needed to distract herself. "Was it all necessary? Almost killing Valora? The cave? Losing my favorite gun in that cave? The gate that did this to my head, and then, apparently, promptly broke? Running in circles? Did any of that really have to happen?"
"Perhaps. Perhaps not. You will never know, and I? I do not care about the specifics of your existence."
"I hate you." She repeated.
"Of course you do. I am you."
What do we do now? Greer asked silently when Ava made no move to reply, or question Thing further.
We give up. Ava simply sat back and listened to herself make another mistake in a long list. What else was there to do?
Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing-
"We have a chance here, Ava." Greer said out loud, though quietly, in an attempt to center her Guardian.
Ava stood at the prompting and sheathed her knife. "Right, yes. Forward. Moving forward." That was what was left to do.
"Ava, Sorcha was-"
"I said forward, Greer." Ava grabbed her Ghost and tucked her into her cloak. "I can't go back, okay?
"We're literally standing in the past right now."
"It's not the same thing."
Greer dropped out of the bottom of Ava's cloak and floated up to her eye level. "How?"
"I'm not the same. I can't be the same because I was a disaster. I was-" She paused, then looked away from her Ghost toward the outline of the door. "Nevermind."
"No, finish the sentence."
Ava walked away from Greer, shaking her head.
"You were not a mistake, Guardian." Ava stopped walking abruptly, but still didn't face her Ghost as she insisted "I did not make a mistake."
"Well," Ava continued toward the door without looking back, "I've certainly made enough for both of us."
Greer tried to block Ava's path, but Ava snatched her out of the air and stuffed the Ghost in her hood, from which Greer continued to talk. "Making a mistake does not mean you are one."
"Mistakes. Plural. Many. Repeatedly."
"You're trying to fix them."
"Trying? I just make things worse. I can't seem to ever actually do any good. Does that sound like a Guardian to you? Look at the mess I've made and tell me I am not a mistake."
Greer made no attempt to respond.
"Right. We have work to do. We need to get down into that valley. Something important is there."
"Or was." Greer chimed in, though her tone was subdued.
"Or will be." Ava grabbed the door and began to pull it open, then jumped back away from it when Thing started laughing.
"Ava," Greer whispered in Ava's ear, "they're still out there."
Ava backed away from the door as Thing began speaking.
"This is an interesting turn of events. Now that your little bird has taken flights things have changed."
"Why didn't you warn me?" Ava hissed back to Greer through her teeth, still backing away.
"Sensors must be messed up. Just be quiet."
"I think you really hurt her feelings. There's about a thousand different places she could have gone, but if you ask real nice I can calculate the most likely. Although, it could take a moment. No, wait, I'm done. Come in and we can talk."
Ava spun around to face the darkness. She threw her hands up in the air and mouthed "Are you kidding me?"
A beat later she heard Valora's voice and steps moving down the hall away from the door.
Ava crept back toward the door and peered out. She couldn't see any light in the hallway, but paused for confirmation from Greer before opening the door any further. "Where?"
"The stairs. I think. I can't exactly tell."
"Okay. Window, other end of the hall, and we have to hurry." Ava slid out of the room, then pulled the door almost closed, leaving just a crack.
Sure, take the time to close the door. You've already stepped on the butterfly.
"Get out of my head!"
"Ava, who-"
"Nothing." Blue light flashed briefly through Ava's vision as she turned toward the end of the hall. "It's nothing."
As they passed the observation room, Ava glanced inside at the ancient safe still sitting on the desk. Greer chimed in unprompted to and the question Ava didn't ask. "Ikora has the journal now. Wonder what it says."
Pausing, half out the window, Ava reached for her Ghost and pulled her close. "I know what it says. I wrote it. I… wrote it right before wiping all the computers. Actually, It wiped all the computers, I only gave the order. The last one I gave."
"Why aren't they shooting at us?" Greer whispered moments later from Ava's hood as she touched down in the valley.
"Perhaps because they're too busy shooting them?" Ava gestured vaguely at the building above them with her gun.
"Then," Greer floated out of Ava's cloak and tapped her gun, pointing it at the ground, "we should keep them more interesting than us."
Sighing, Ava slung the gun to her back. "What was the point of getting a gun back if I never get to use it?"
Greer drifted back the cover of her Guardian's cloak. "It was never really about the gun."
"Don't remind me."
"Are you really going to do it?"
"If I make it that far, yeah."
"Ava-"
"Hush now or you'll blow my cover. Keep an eye on the fighting above us. Let me know when they start pulling back."
"Sensors are still-"
"Just do your best." She pulled her hood further over her face, breathing in the smell of the worn material. The cloak was solidly black, torn and worn through in some places. It was the oldest one she owned, older than she was. She had taken it off a Hunter- whose name she never learned- long before she saw the Traveler with her own eyes. It smelled like the wilds, it smelled like home.
She could do this.
Murderer.
Running her fingers along the hilt of her last, unbroken knife, Ava ducked into a building to avoid a group of passing Goblins. One of them paused in front of the empty doorway for a brief moment. A sudden suspicion swept through her mind, she countered it reflexively with a thought of security. The Goblin moved on with the others.
Greer didn't say anything as Ava stepped back through the door and continued toward the end of the valley. Most of the research on Thing was done in the building Thing resided in, but Thing was not the only subject of investigation. Labs had been built around Vex gates, tunnels had been dug deep under the surface into the cave system below. Since she had deleted all the information from the main systems, she would have to go deeper to get what she needed.
In her effort to make sure nobody else repeated their mistakes, she had made it nearly impossible for anybody to fix them. Short sighted and rash. She had always been short sighted and rash.
The Vex, though they seemed not to care that she talked to Thing, would not just let her dig into something they were obviously protecting. They had even gone so far as to chase down the loose end that was Maria and her Ghost. Too bad Ava and Xander had gotten there before they destroyed the Ghost.
Xander. Sorcha's voice mused. What will you do to him in the end, murderer?
Ava ignored that thought, ignored the flash of Xander's body bent, broken, and in a pool of blood. It was not real. The voice was not real. Sorcha was dead.
And she had to keep moving.
The Vex hardly seemed to notice her, in part because of Ava's stealth, but also because of the connection she had forged when she had plunged her blade into that Hydra. The same reason Sorcha wasn't dead, not really. In death and desperation she had tied herself, Sorcha and Thing together. Through Thing she found the door and pried it open just a crack, and now she would use it.
Careful. Greer's voice through her thoughts, warm, reassuring, and real. So Ava took a deep breath, reminded herself that she was still standing. Still here. That was something. Good or bad, she didn't know, couldn't remember, but it was something.
It was a game, she decided, sliding through the streets in the spare seconds allotted to her behind the backs of various patrols. All the while she kept up a steady thought of security, letting the thought drift beyond her quietly. It was barely a ripple, she knew, but as long as she gave no reason to doubt the hazy feeling of it, barely was enough. Her aim was a small, outpost like building awkwardly situated against the jungle. It was a maintenance building, housing various electrical components and possibly a broom or two, but it had an inlet into the main informational system.
There was buried the information that her past self purposefully never learned. What Thing knew but would never tell, not even to the Vex who feared what Thing had become. They had buried it here, and the Vex had found it, now sought to protect it… from her. The only thing Ava did not know because the possibilities were to vast: when and where.
Her focus was slipping as she counted the seconds between movements to find the patterns in the seemingly random patrols. And then sliding through the cracks while broadcasting the faint signal that nothing was amiss.
Until she was crouched in the underbrush that had moved in to claim the back side of her target building beneath a high, narrow window. She listened to the whir of the Harpies as they passed, finding the exact four seconds of time she had behind one group before the next turned the corner. She pulled Greer from her cloak and gave one of her spines a loving pat before holding her aloft. Greer drifted out of the leaves and through the broken glass. Ava held her breath, hoping the room would be empty and her Ghost would not be seen.
The silence between the stretched too long. Ava heard the hum of the next group of Harpies approach and had to smother her rising panic.
Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong. She repeated to herself over and over again, until Greer's voice broke through her own thoughts.
There's no way you're getting in here. They've got all the doors covered and will notice anything bigger than a Ghost coming in through the windows. If you fit through the window at all.
Start.
Greer blipped in acknowledgement and fell quiet as she began assessing where to begin. Ava leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. A buzzing was starting to fill her head, and she wanted to sleep.
~O~
"What are you doing?"
She looked up from the screen, not even trying to school her scowl into something more akin to innocence. "Nothing to worry about."
He came around the desk and she shifted the screen with her around the opposite side. "You've already sabotaged the experiment, and now you're sabotaging the research!"
"I'm sabotaging an invasion plan." She snapped back, watching as It's virus swept through the information stored across the facility. When it was done it would leave nothing but a string of nonsense to distract whoever they would send next. Because she knew that they would just keep sending people. This was too important a discovery to leave alone, no matter how big a threat to lives it posed.
She wasn't the first to try. She realized that now. They hadn't been the first, but she would be damned if they weren't the last.
He snatched at the screen and, knowing there was nothing he could do at this point, she let him grab it this time. "You'll ruin your career. You'll ruin all of our careers, our lives!"
"Better than losing them completely." she responded evenly.
"I will not go through this again!"
"Again?" Suddenly it all made sense to her. He hadn't been surprised by any development, been undisturbed by any loss of life because he had been through this before. How many times?
He must have seen the realization dawn on her face for he nodded smugly. "But maybe next time they'll actually put me in charge."
"There won't be a next time." She grinned, sudden euphoria bursting out of her in pure defiance, replacing the panic from the hours before. She could still taste blood on her lips. "Because by the time whatever it was that was trying to come through that gate finally makes it out only the dead will see it." She said it with all the confidence she lacked. Let him believe it. None of them would be there to see if she was wrong.
There had been hope in It's tone, though it took her almost too long to realize, when It spoke of the dead. That question that was seemingly nonsense was in fact the answer to everything.
Why are the dead walking?
To protect the living.
So she passed it off to them, not as a death sentence, but a plea, a challenge. And she prayed, to the Traveler, to whatever old gods might still listen, to the will of the universe, to anything. She prayed that somebody would be able to finish what she could not.
~O~
Ava?
At the sound of Greer's voice Ava lifted her head and tracked the progress of the Vex outside her sanctuary of foliage. What?
Were you asleep?
Me? No.
I've been saying your name repeatedly for a solid minute.
I would never sleep on the job. I'm always alert and prepared for action. Of course, her gun was still on her back, pressed against the wall, and her hands were shaking.
Yeah, sure. I fear this may be our worst case scenario.
Already sliding from her hiding place into the thicker shelter of the jungle, Ava sighed. Days, then?
Do you even know what Thing did to all this information? You must have had an idea considering your opening line in the journal.
I can't stay here for much longer, let alone days. She had known when they came down here she wouldn't be able to stay. She should have left as soon as Greer was safely inside the little outpost. The Vex were drawing back from the building now. She would have to loop around the long way through the jungle.
What are you thinking? Greer knew exactly what Ava was thinking. She knew Ava was already on her way back to Thing.
I'll have to go back. Give you time to find what we need.
Ava you will not make it long on your own.
For me it will only be a few minutes. I'm more worried about you.
I don't like this.
Your feelings on the matter are noted. I'll see you in a few.
Keep your head down.
Ava, already trekking through the trees didn't answer. There were too many conflicting voices in her head for her to focus on one. Her nose was bleeding. She wiped her face with her hands, smearing blood along her armor. And she stumbled over a root. And she was walking in circles. And she couldn't remember where she was supposed to be going. And the ground was cold. And-
And there was Xander's voice, distant like a dream. "She's still there, isn't she? Still on that field crying over a dead Ghost."
Ava nearly thought she made it up, but then came Miles' reply.
"Yes. She might always be."
Smiling, Ava decided that was probably the nicest thing Miles had ever said about her. Why the Ghost had hated her so much from the beginning she didn't understand. Why he hated her now was completely justified, but when they first met? Maybe he had known. Maybe she had done Xander an injustice befriending him in the first place.
Something else snagged her attention as Ava watched dumbly after the distant shape of Xander shouldering through the jungle. It wasn't anything specific, just a feeling, a memory of a movement. She withdrew, crouching into the underbrush while looking for the signs she knew Xander wouldn't notice. He was being tailed, and not just by one Hunter.
The fact that the Vanguard had sent the elite team after her evoked a brief feeling of pride. Although, she had won Invective off the leader. Of course, it was a knockoff, but it amused Ava to wonder what she had thought when she found it wrecked.
Or would find it?
Confusion reminded Ava of her mission. Once she was sure the team was far enough away, she picked up her pace.
Aiden's voice let her know she was getting close. "Finally something fun!"
Valora said something quietly to him, then Ava heard him begin to protest. Ava caught sight of her through the trees as Valora brushed off her robes and walked into the building. Aiden was thankfully out of sight.
Greer's voice echoed through Ava's head. She couldn't tell if it was her trying to get in touch now, or something she had already said. Either way, Ava ignored it. There was too much noise in her head to focus.
She took a step, her feet sliding on the mossy ground. Ava looked down, and smiled. The ground. It was so close. Just under her feet. She had been too hasty calling it cold. Cold was okay. She liked the cold ground. She wanted to sit, just for a minute. Maybe she would just rest her eyes, sleep for a little while.
Maybe she was already asleep. If she was asleep then everything not making any sense would start to make sense. That had to be why everything felt so fuzzy, so far away.
Wake up. Wake up!
Why couldn't she wake up? She wanted to, dammit! It made her angry. The jungle came back in sharp focus. Ava could feel her heart beating in her chest. Lightning flashed along her fingertips. Anger gave her an edge, but she started to lose it as quickly as it came. She needed sustainable anger. One enemy, one goal.
The Vex had done this to her head. They were the reason she was forced to face Sorcha again after all these years. She had been fine before the past, present, and future started blurring together in her head until she couldn't tell the difference. They were the reason she had lost- would lose- was losing everything she had left.
She wanted to crush them to nothing with her bare hands, and that started with getting back in the building in front of her. So, Ava didn't think, she just moved.
The hall was empty as she walked through it. The stairs were just as devoid as life. She hadn't checked, hadn't cared to check until she reached her hand toward the metal door of Thing's room. It was already open, and Valora was standing in front of the door, her back to Ava she was talking to Thing.
Pausing, her arm still outstretched, Ava stared at the Valora's back. She recognized the scout rifle secured there. Tlaloc. Ava didn't know a lot about it, but she knew enough to realize that Valora had worked for that gun. Because Valora followed the rules, and she finished what she started.
She thinks she's better than you. Sorcha's voice said, surfacing through the rest of the noise. Everybody knows she's better than you. Xander does. Didn't you see? He chose her. He chose her because she's better. But you could fix that. Just one little stab. Just like you did to me. You could-
Ava nearly slammed the door shut, only realizing at the last second that she shouldn't even be there, and that the door wasn't closed when she came up the stairs. But it was closed now, and Ava heard Valora lean against it, so she walked down the hall and closed herself in the observation room.
Choosing anger had been a mistake. Anger was Sorcha, and Ava couldn't control it- her. She had to find something else to keep her going. She had to want to keep going. Half listening to Valora's conversation with Thing in the other room, Ava tried to find a reason to want to finish what she had started. The reason that would take her into the next room once Valora left and find a way to go forward to where she had left off.
Because there had to be at least one reason, right?
~O~
The other fireteam left almost immediately after Ava's Sunbreaker, was the only one of them to hesitate, but Tod shook his head and pulled him out of the room. Valora was sure she heard Tod muttering something about this mess being above his pay grade. She had to agree with that.
Now it was back to being just them, and the way Xander was yelling at Ava, Valora knew the number was about to drop in some way. She hoped not in the worst way, but was staying out of it by giving all her attention to Aiden.
"I'm really okay." He repeated once again when Valora ran her eyes over the burn pattern in his shell. It looked like he had been caught in a net made of fire, which was just about what happened. Too bad she didn't get a chance to examine the weapon Sorcha had been carrying before she disappeared. Where had she gone?
"Just a little electrical overload. All side effects temporary." He tried to reassure her. When she didn't stop staring at the damage he tapped her helm with one of his spines. "We can get a new shell, it's okay."
Valora shook her head.
"He wouldn't mind. This thing is old anyway."
She shook her head again. "No, I can fix it somehow."
"Val, it's been a long time. He would have changed it by now anyway."
"You're all I have left of him, Aiden, and that shell-" she broke off with a sigh.
Aiden rested on her head. "It was a gift to him from J, I know. Retiring this shell isn't giving up on them. Moving on is the best way to honor their memories, and you will always have those memories."
Valora watched Ava flip a knife through her fingers, her eyes resting coldly on Xander who paced in front of her. She was standing steadily now, though that was unlikely to last long. "Move on with them, you mean? I doubt there will be a 'them' much longer."
"If you-"
With a toss of her head Valora dislodged Aiden, knocking him into her lap before hugging him against her chest. "You've almost died twice because of her. I'm not about to do anything I don't absolutely have to do to protect the City."
"Keeping her alive might just be exactly something you have to do."
"What are you talking about? She's crazy stupid. How is her existence doing anything to protect anyone?"
"She's not crazy stupid. She's stupid crazy."
"Is that different?"
"Crucially."
A flash caught Valora's eye. She looked back at Xander and Ava in time to see her knife bury itself into a crack in the concrete a hair away from Xander's left foot. There was already another knife in her hand, and murder in her eyes.
"Better do something." Aiden muttered before disappearing into Valora's robes as she stood reluctantly. At least he was learning to stay out of the way.
"Do not treat me like I am a child." The words seemed to echo, though Ava had spoken quietly. The way she spoke was almost a plea, as if she had let a little bit of true emotion slip into that sentence. Her hands were shaking again, and her eyes continuously flickered around the room without focusing on anything.
Xander just kept yelling. "Stop acting like one!"
Ava nodded slightly to herself and let out a breathy laugh. Her eyes, finally seeming to focus, tried to search Xander's through his visor, but her expression had hardened back into stone, and so had her voice. "Leave."
Xander took a half step back. "What?"
"Stop saying you will and do it, Xander." She paused before adding "Make your word mean something for once."
A low blow judging by the way Xander floundered for something to say. "You- you can't be serious. I mean- If you- If I leave, you will die."
Ava looked unconcerned, her attention already on something else. "Then that's my problem, isn't it?"
"No. We are going back to the Tower. You are going to answer for what you've done."
She chuckled, tilting her head in what Valora recognized as a challenge, and again her whole expression changed. This time to something deadly and slightly unhinged. "It won't work like that. I made a promise to Jalaal, one that nobody has yet to come back from. The Vanguard can do whatever they like to me, but they can't get into it with a faction, not like that. So you decide, Xander, do I die here with my feet on the ground fixing one of my mistakes, or do I die in space making another one? Those are the choices, and we both know it. You make the decision this time." She flipped the other knife at the other side of his foot to punctuate the sentence though it didn't stick, then turned and wandered toward the back of the room.
"Should have known, considering how easily you killed Sorcha when you claim to have loved her." Xander spat before turning and marching toward the door.
Ava didn't turn to watch him leave.
"What do we do now?" Aiden asked in a mock whisper as he poked out from under Valora's robe.
"You leave." Ava's voice broke as she spoke, but she still didn't turn. Instead she crouched down next to a destroyed Vex and ran her fingers over it like she was looking for something.
"But-"
Without looking over her shoulder Ava pulled her gun, aiming it directly at where Aiden had dodged back beneath Valora's robes. "I told you to get out."
Valora didn't argue. Aiden nestled deeper into her robes, muttering to himself, as she tried to catch up with Xander. Something didn't seem right to her. Ava had just had an argument with Xander that she hadn't started. She had hardly defended herself, and her Ghost hadn't appeared to do it for her.
Of course, she had once again threatened Aiden. Maybe nothing had changed.
"I don't think she would have pulled the trigger."
"I'm not sure, honestly. One second she's one way, then she's another. There's no telling anymore. Before we met Thing that first time at least she-" Valora gasped, nearly falling down the stairs in her effort to catch up with Xander. She tried calling his name, but the Titan stormed through the door without so much as a look back.
Once outside the building Xander summoned his Ghost.
"Aiden?" Valora began to ask, but Aiden was already barreling for the other Ghost. Aiden knocked Xander's Ghost onto the ground and proceeded to attempt to smother him in the dirt.
Xander finally turned to her while their Ghosts continued their wrestling match. "What do you think you're doing?"
"To be honest with you, I did not think this through, but that doesn't matter." She said in a rush before he could turn away. "We can't leave yet. If we leave she will die, and you know it."
Xander gently knocked Aiden away from his own Ghost with his foot. "Like she said, that's no longer my problem." He picked his Ghost up from the dirt and started walking away.
"Xander, listen to me!"
Aiden buzzed around Xander's head, essentially annoying him into stopping and returning his attention to Valora.
"I know. I know what she's said and done. I know she's been unreliable and horrible and misguided. I know who she is, but I know who you are, too."
"What are you talking about."
"You do not just leave behind somebody you care about. Not like this. You don't just abandon somebody because they've made a mistake-"
He shook his head, turning away.
"Okay, about a dozen large mistakes!" She corrected herself, louder, and he turned back. "But you know what I'm talking about. This isn't you."
He turned to walk away again. "Like you said, she won't learn if I keep going back to her."
Valora grabbed his arm to pull him back a step, then planted herself in front of him. "This is not about you! This is not even about her. No matter how much she thinks she can, how much she wants to protect you- us-"
"She's only trying to protect herself."
"What did she agree to, Xander? What is it that even you can't forgive?"
He shook his head in an attempt to dodge the question, but Valora grabbed his arms, digging her fingers into his armor until he relented. "She agreed to a mission for Dead Orbit."
"I know that much."
Xander sighed, pulling back from her. His Ghost was the one to answer. "An exploratory mission looking for a new world or something. Somewhere to run to."
"She would hate that." Aiden blurted from near Valora's feet. He had rolled himself across the ground to her and was now caked in mud.
Valora plucked her Ghost from the dirt, absentmindedly brushing him off. It was true. She had seen the way Ava nestled into the ground, twisted her fingers into the grass, and slept deeply. And the way she had behaved in the Tower, restless, impatient. It was more than whatever the Vex tech had done to her head.
"She was wasn't running away." Valora sighed deeply, settling into her 'explaining voice' as Aiden began circling her head "She was trying to make sure she couldn't."
"What?"
"Xander, she doesn't expect to go back at all. She said as much. Think about it. Just for a second!" She added when he began to turn away. "Everytime she messed with the Vex tech her bad decisions, her inconsistencies, they- they accelerated."
Xander huffed. "No, she's just manipulative and selfish."
"She's still sick."
"Fine, but she still made those choices."
"I know. It doesn't excuse anything she's done, I know. But what happens when she can't control her own mind anymore, Xander? When she loses it completely? What happens if she's alone when that happens?"
"I don't care anymore."
"She knows. She's thrown herself into pushing you away."
"That is her choice."
"How will you feel, then? When this is over? When she fails and is dead and you could have saved her, but you chose to walk away? You will regret it, Xander. You blame her for running away? Who's running now?"
"You told me to stop letting her drag me along."
"So? Be an anchor. Be a rock."
"Valora-"
"I am going back."
"Why-"
"Because this isn't about any of us. I cannot let her die, no matter what she's done. If she dies we lose, and we let that happen. I'm going back. Are you coming with me?"
Silence fell between them, sudden and odd. Valora counted her breaths. One. Xander shrugged uncomfortable. Two. His Ghost huffed in irritation. Three.
Xander shook his head.
Aiden, in a perfect imitation of Valora's heart, dramatically dropped to the ground again.
"We should return to the Tower. There's nothing left for us to do here." His Ghost said to her. "The Vanguard responded to our request for backup. They can handle this."
Valora ignored him, keeping her attention on the silent Titan. "Xander?" It was a plea as well as a question. Maybe Aiden had gotten into her head about finding a place here, but she felt betrayed. Afterall, he wasn't just leaving Ava.
Xander didn't answer her. He just stepped back, then turned his back on her. She was still staring, mouth half open in shock, as he transmatted away.
Aiden settled on her shoulder. "What now, Val?" He sounded afraid. Of course, it was just like Aiden to get attached to yet another person. He was always picking up strays. Feeling their loss like it was his own.
"You wanted to do something stupid? Now we do something really stupid." Maybe she was a little attached, too.
~ASDFJKL;~
Remember when I felt bad for not updating monthly? Ha, how far I've fallen! I'm actually the worst. You should know this now, but anyway here you go. I have not abandoned you, despite how it looks dropping off the face of the earth for months. I do intend on finishing this eventually!
I know I usually respond to reviews here, but I'm just really not feeling it currently. Thank goodness there were only two of you this time because I do feel a little bad. I tend to talk to y'all through AN because I need the buffer, but even that really isn't cutting. Just know that I love you!
I will, however answer jsm's question about Owen... Yes, 416 is a ridiculously high number. I asked my brother for one and that's the one he gave, and insisted on giving despite my explanation of what it was for. I just went with it. You can choose to believe that Owen just made it up to look cool, or (as Ben suggested) that he runs on Alta Vista...
No promises on when I'll be back, not because I think it will be very long, but because I don't want to break any promises. I'm pretty unreliable, so set expectations low.