Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have. ~Emile Chartier

Chapter 20

It'd been 141 days since Edward found out Bella was pregnant. Three thousand, three hundred and eighty-four hours since his life changed forever. Two-hundred three thousand and forty minutes since he'd felt a moment of peace. It was probable Edward could give the exact number of seconds as well if one were to ask (12,182,400). The past several months had been quite the roller-coaster ride for Edward, Bella, and little Mason. Five months filled with plenty of adjustments, tears, deep-breathing exercises (mostly on the part of Edward), and decisions—some monumental decisions.

After the fateful moment when Edward didn't propose to Bella, things were in limbo for all of thirty seconds. As he took in her disappointed face, he knew he'd made a mistake by not presenting her the ring properly. He quickly found his voice, told Bella he was going to marry her, and then punctuated his demand by requesting fellatio in the shower to celebrate.

The couple was married three short days later, just long enough to bide the waiting period for a marriage license. Phil and Candi stood to witness, before God and Justice, as Edward and Bella became Man and Wife.

O_o

"Did you know that Mason has eyelids now?" Edward quarried as he waited patiently for Bella to come out of the bathroom.

"I like the sound of that, you know," came her muffled reply through the door.

"I think it's a little weird, but amazing at the same time. To think that he has fingernails and eyelids—it's sort of…miraculous."

Bella opened the door, toothbrush clenched in her teeth, looking like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. "Hey!" Edward exclaimed. "You can use toothpaste again!"

There had been many things Bella had difficulty being able to stomach over the last few months, toothpaste being only one of them. Cream corn was another, but that was a whole other story.

She turned back to the sink, spit, and rinsed her mouth before giving her reply. "Yeah, the mint actually seems to help all of a sudden. I woke up craving it this morning. You sure are a picky little fellow," Bella finished while looking down at her stomach and giving it a loving pat. Then she turned her attention back to Edward.

"No, what I meant was that I like the sound of Mason. I really like that name, Edward. It makes this all so real."

Edward couldn't have agreed more. As a matter of fact, Baby had become increasingly real—visually- with the leaps and bounds at which he was growing. It seemed only yesterday that Bella's stomach was still flat. Now it appeared as if she were smuggling a volleyball.

Edward held out his hand, beckoning his bride. "I love you both more than I can stand, and you choosing my grandfather's name for our son—it makes my heart ache with happiness."

Bella felt a momentary pang of guilt. She hadn't always been in support of the name. As their appointment to find out the sex of the baby neared, there was much discussion on possible names. Bella had excluded many of the suggestions due to her time as a teacher. It was hard to pick a name when so many reminded you of Beelzebub.

As they were leaving their five-month check-up the previous afternoon, Edward suggested the name Mason. He hadn't explained its significance at the time, but Bella hadn't vetoed it outright, either. She simply shrugged in disinterest. Edward was quiet and withdrew into himself for the afternoon, leaving Bella feeling confused as to his melancholy. Later that evening, she found him looking at a photo album. She saddled up to him and inquired about his trip down memory lane, hoping to draw him from his gloom.

"Who is that?" Bella asked while pointing to a gray-haired man with a small brunette boy on his knee. She knew the toddler was Edward as his eyes and hair gave him away.

"My grandfather."

It was the first time he'd ever spoken about anyone besides his mother and father. Edward didn't have the best relationship with his parents, as they were academics and were disappointed in their only son for choosing to be

mundane. "He was a photographer."

This was news to Bella, but it suddenly made a whole heap of sense when she noted the caption to the photograph: Edward and Mason, July 4th 1987.

"Tell me more about him."

O_o

"So, I know you've been really reluctant to wear anything sexy since you started showing, but I have a surprise for you. It came in the mail today, and I really hope you like it."

Bella glanced down at the package in Edward's hands wondering what on earth could possible make her feel sexy, while at the same time gave Edward reason to waggle his bushy eyebrows.

"One night while you were sleeping I was having difficulty getting settled, so I was surfing around the internet. I can't believe what's available on the net. Did you know that roughly seventy-three percent of Americans use the internet, which is an increase of a hundred and fifty percent since the year 2000?"

Bella knew that once Edward got onto one of his, "did you know" preambles, she was in for the long haul.

"Focus, sweetie," she replied, cutting his information session short.

"Yes, sorry. Anyway, I got you this," Edward finished, shoving the black and pink box toward Bella. His fingers twitched, itching to tear the box open and get to its insides. The content of the box was exciting and new…and Edward couldn't wait to explore the possibilities it presented.

Bella settled the box on the table and carefully lifted the lid. She took a peek inside as though a frog would spring forth from the tissue paper wrappings. Edward's hand jutted forward to move the paper aside, no longer patient enough to wait for the gift to be revealed.

"It's lingerie," Edward yelled excitedly. It was truly a dream come true. He'd finally purchased a woman delicate under things that he'd previously only looked upon in store windows.

Bella stood, speechless as she held up the lacy set wondering: why in the hell would Edward purchase a negligee for a pregnant chick? She hadn't been apprised of his penchant for lacy things.

"Edward, I…"

"I know, right? It will look so hot on you, my dove. Let's try it out now!"

"Edward! It's nine o'clock in the mor-" but Bella wasn't able to finish her rejection, as a knock sounded at their door.

"Who on earth?" Edward mumbled, feeling disgruntled about having his sexy times interrupted.

"Hey, Phil," Edward greeted plainly as he opened the door for his neighbor.

"Hey, Guy," Phil responded wearing his new security guard uniform. He was really taking his 'protect and serve' oath to the extreme. Edward was pretty sure Phil wasn't working since it was a Saturday, yet still wore his uniform on his days off. Phil reasoned that it would scare away any unwanted miscreants from causing trouble on their block. It didn't matter that there had been nothing above a petty crime within a twelve-mile radius in over nine years. The most excitement their small town had seen was three years ago when old Mrs. Bell chased her husband down the block waving a candlestick in her hand. She'd caught him wearing her high heels when she came home early from Bingo. Poor Mr. Bell ran down Main Street in his boxer shorts and a pair of snake-skinned peep-toe pumps.

"What can I do for you this morning?"

"Just doing my rounds; making sure the neighborhood is safe and sound." Edward wanted to argue the merits of Phil making anything or anyone safe, but having lost that particular dispute previously with Phil, he decided he was just too tired to try.

"Well, hey…Bella and I were just in the middle of-"

But it was too late. At the mention of Bella, Phil pushed his way inside the door, one hand moving Edward aside and the other resting on, what Edward was convinced to be, a water pistol.

"Hey, Bella! It's Phil, your neighbor!" he shouted, making sure no one within a mile radius could miss his presence.

Edward cringed knowing his Saturday morning sex just slipped through his fingers.

O_o

"Okay, so we need onesies, diapers, two baby Bjorn's: one in passion pink and one in walnut khaki; a first aid kit, crib, car

seat, stroller, breast pump, changing table, video monitor, something called a diaper champ, ear thermometer, corner guards and edge guards, travel mirror, at least two Boppy's, a bottle warmer, bottle sterilizer, and drying rack, a flip-"

"Bella, what on earth do we need all of this stuff for? We're only having one little baby?" Edward looked down at the list his wife was reading from in astonishment. "Your list is for an army of babies, not one."

"Uh, no. This was the list I got from the registry of must-have baby items." Bella held up a thick packet of paper. The so- called must-have list consisted of over 150 items and was six pages long.

"Well, at least we won't have to buy all of the things on the list, right? You'll have a baby shower and people will buy some of those things for us. That's how a registry works, isn't it?" Edward knew that having a baby was a financial hardship. While he and Bella were by no means living in the poor house, they weren't kicking it in the penthouse either. He'd even tossed the idea of a second job around in his head. He'd wanted to suggest that Bella stay home with Mason, but hadn't found the courage to ask. It seemed like an archaic suggestion, to propose Bella be a stay-at-home mother. He was also quite sure there was a politically correct title for it too; garbage men were "sanitation engineers," janitors were "facility operators," and secretaries were "administrative assistants." He briefly wondered if that made hookers "ejaculation technicians."

"No, I don't think anyone is throwing me a baby shower. Alice said that she didn't want to throw me one because she felt guilty about asking a bunch of people over under the guise of giving us stuff."

While Edward had tolerated most of Alice's shenanigans through the six-plus months he'd known her, this was the proverbial icing on the cake as far as he was concerned. He couldn't believe that Bella's so-called best friend was so jealous and selfish that she would sabotage the idea of a rite of passage into motherhood. Edward was clueless about many things, but this wasn't one of them. He was fully aware that Bella was going to get the Shower of her dreams, no matter how he had to go about planning it.

As the tiny Prius ambled toward Baby Extravaganza, an idea took shape in Edward's head. A few minutes later when they arrived and the car parked in the expectant mother parking space, Edward told Bella he'd catch up to her in a few moments. There were two phone calls he needed to make.

"Hello," he paused before continuing. While he wasn't speaking to his best friend by any means, Edward knew he could count on his co-worker for help. "Jacob? Hi, Edward Cullen here. I'm calling to ask you a favor."

A/N: Yes, I'm aware I spelled Mason like "mason jar." Just my weird sense of humor I suppose.