Chapter Twenty
Tap, tap, tap. Masamune's confident steps and Rin's less-than-confident ones resounded in the empty hall together. Rin kept a step behind him as they walked and each kept to their own thoughts. They had nothing to say.
Or, maybe that's only true for Masamune, Rin thought gloomily. As for her, thousands of thoughts went through her head but nothing she wanted to share or could find the courage to say aloud came to mind. She had been wondering if she should say something just to be polite when Date stopped. He had paused so abruptly that she bumped into him.
"Hey, don't just-"
Rin started to complain but he interrupted, "Rin."
After a surprised silence she answered half-jokingly, "… Yes, that's me."
"Hm…"
He was silent and she asked slightly irritated now, "What?"
He turned to face her and asked seriously, "When you told me you loved me the other week, how much did you mean it?"
"Wh-what?" she stuttered, her face turning red. She turned away to avoid his firm gaze and asked flustered, "W-why are you asking me that now of all times? Couldn't it wait until-"
"No. I need to know, now." He continued looking at her intensely and she crumbled under the pressure. Damn that eye, she thought weakly. It's as if it has the power of two.
She turned her face slightly to look at him as she started turning red. She played with a strand of hair nervously and finally mumbled, "Well… As serious as I thought I could be…"
"I see…" he looked out the side window thoughtfully, abandoning his gaze on her.
She glared now and stopped playing with her hair to cross her arms. She asked fervently, "Why? You don't believe me?"
"I don't know, to be honest," he shrugged. "A lot of girls have confessed to me, but they've never truly meant it like you do. Or at least, think you do." He walked to the window and opened it, then leaned on the sill comfortably. He rested his cheek on his palm, "Besides, you've never taken any of my confessions seriously either."
"W-well, what do you mean by that?" Rin asked, "You've never-"
"I've told you plenty of times that I like you," he countered. "I've said it and I've shown you." He smirked as her face turned an attractive shade of red.
"Sh-shown me?" she asked, dropping her defense in surprise.
Suddenly he was in front of her and she backed into the wall. He trapped her by placing his hands on either side of her head. He explained with mock solemnity, "Three times, in fact. And you responded to every one of them, remember?"
She clenched her teeth to hold back her tremors. He was close… Too close. She could feel the heat radiating off him and she was getting nervous. It wasn't like he was going to try taking advantage of her in the middle of the school hallway; but still, she was unused to being so close to another human being, let alone a guy. And one that she liked, for that matter. And Masamune amplified that inexperience in her by a thousand fold.
She swallowed nervously and he only smirked as she tried forcing out assertively, "O-oh, so just because you kiss me, I'm supposed to take it as a heartfelt confession?"
"Well, why not?" he asked, "Haven't I said that actions speak louder than words?" He moved a hand to grip her chin so she couldn't look away. So close… She thought, her cheeks turning even redder.
She could only glare weakly, "So my confession last week meant nothing to you, in comparison to how your kisses were supposed to be for me?"
He sighed and his breath ruffled her bangs. He let go of her chin to let it rest at his side and said as if disappointed in her, "That isn't what I mean at all."
"Then what do you mean, Masamune?" she asked, her voice louder now. "Because that's honestly how I feel you think right now." He glanced away and didn't reply so she continued reprimanding him, "I'm not like you, Masamune. I'm not just going to kiss you or touch you like you think you should to show affection.
"I told you how I honestly felt and you turned me down. Not only that, but you told me you 'weren't sure if you truly loved me', but if that's so, then why did you kiss me? Do you just randomly kiss girls you like?" He still wouldn't reply and she sighed in disgust.
While his attention was off her, she managed to duck under his arm and say, "Well, I hate to break it to you, Masamune, but I'm not that kind of girl. I don't want you to just kiss me unless you mean it."
"I did mean it," he finally spoke up. She froze and he said again, "I meant it. Every one."
"You… did?" she asked slowly, her heart beating faster. She clenched her fists to try and stop shaking.
He looked her in the eye and said, "Of course."
He wasn't smirking, but he wasn't frowning either. His expression was somewhat unreadable, but his voice held a tone of assurance. She wanted to believe him. Badly.
She turned to face him. "Then why can't you just say-"
"My mother liked to use that phrase a lot…" he murmured. He was looking out the window thoughtfully again. His eye glazed over slightly as he watched the clouds drift by, "She always told me how much she 'loved' me… But she never came close to me."
"What do you mean?" Rin asked.
He turned to look at her again and shrugged, "I mean, as a kid I never got hugs or kisses, not even from my parents. They always said 'I love you' though, but when you're a kid, you don't want to be just told that. You want to be shown it.
"Then… After I lost my eye, my dad had been long gone, and my mom stopped coming near me entirely so I knew… She never meant what she said." He touched his eye patch distractedly and Rin walked back to face him.
She said desperately, "But I'm not like her, Masamune… You can trust my word, can't you?"
He smirked slightly, "Can I? I mean, most of the time, you've told me you hated me."
Her face re-heated and she said, "Only because I believed it. To me, that was the truth, and I spoke it."
"But it wasn't in reality, was it?" he asked.
She shook her head slowly and looked away, "… No." They were silent again until Rin mumbled, "My mom is like that too…"
Date raised an eyebrow now, "Oh?"
Rin shook her head and laughed sadly, "Well, not entirely… She used to be really nice and she took care of her family well but… Then my dad disappeared and she fell apart…"
"What do you mean by 'disappeared'?" he asked.
Rin sighed as she hugged her opposite elbow, "Well… He left to work in the city when I was nine and he… Never came back, so…" she choked up and said in a rush, "I don't like talking about it, okay? The point is that my mom was never the same afterwards…"
"Did she hurt you?"
Rin took her time before whispering finally, "Yes…" she said more loudly now, "I already told you though… I don't like-"
Suddenly, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and he pulled her close. "We're the same then," he stated simply.
She didn't even resist but she hugged him back immediately and whispered, "Masamune, I love you. I really and truly do."
He nodded and laughed gently, "I know."
"I want to be with you… I want to be at your side. I want to stay with you forever."
"Forever?" he asked. She could hear the amusement in his voice, but she knew he was taking this seriously.
She nodded against his chest and held him back tighter. She repeated honestly, "Forever."
He laughed and finally stated, "I know."
He began stroking her hair and she burrowed against him as she whispered again, her voice quivering slightly, "I love you."
He repeated softly, "I know, Rin."
Her eyes watered and she moved to look him in the eye. She asked, "But do you love me?"
He smiled and wiped her tears away, "Of course, I do."
She pushed his hand away but gripped it in both of hers, "Then say it."
He blinked in surprise at first, then grinned. He moved his face closer to hers and asked, "Can't I just show you?"
She shook her head and placed her hands over his mouth now. She pleaded, "Please, Masamune… Just say it… Just tell me that you love me… Is it really that difficult?"
He sighed and backed off asking, "Why do you think words weigh more than action? People lie with words, but they can't with actions.
"You've lied by telling me that you hated me, but all your actions have proven otherwise. What if this time, as you tell me you love me, it turns out to be a lie as well? Will your actions reveal your hate?"
"Then you'll just have to trust me," she said. "Trust my words and I'll trust your actions… Isn't that what couples do? They trust each other, even if they show each other love in different ways. I want to trust your actions, but I also want to be able to trust your words, like you can with mine."
He raised an eyebrow with amusement, "Oh? So you're calling us a couple now?"
She sighed and looked away, suddenly the moment seeming less sincere. "N-not at all. I'm only saying-"
"I love you."
Rin blinked in surprise and looked at him. She hadn't really understood what he said, but if it was what she had hoped he would say… "What was that?" she whispered hesitantly.
He only smirked and murmured, "You'll just have to guess," before finally kissing her firmly.
"…Jackal-sama… Don't you think you're playing this game a little too far?" Kanon sighed and ignored the speaker as she continued writing notes down in her notebook. Yukimura had left a while ago and no one else was around, so Kanon had been alone until this "inconsiderate jerk", she thought, decided to pester her.
The person crossed their arms and sighed loudly as they asked again, "Jackal-sama?"
She wrote down the name, "Ichirou" in her notebook and then said, "You know, if this were like that one anime with the killer note books, you'd be dead in about 40 seconds…"
Ichigo rolled her eyes, "Right, right, whatever… You and your anime."
Kanon smirked as she stretched then, "Mm… Speaking of which," she stood up abruptly and said, "I'm going to miss my show if I don't move now, so, if you excuse me…"
She tried sneaking past the smaller girl but suddenly she brought out her knife and said through gritted teeth, "Not until we finish talking, Jackal-sama."
The attack came quickly and Kanon had a split second to use her notebook as a shield. Kanon blinked in surprise at first and then laughed as she gently pushed the weapon away. "Wow," she said sarcastically, "You actually bring that to school?" she turned and sat back in her seat comfortably and cooed, "Scary."
Ichigo glared and spat back, "Well, you never know when you may have to use it to threaten your lazier-than-hell business colleague. I came because we needed to talk and I heard that you had recently weaseled your way into the school nurse's position."
"I believe the correct term for it is 'jackaled'," Kanon joked, but Ichigo wasn't amused. Kanon smirked as she shrugged and leaned back in her chair again, pulling off her red glasses. "Fine, I suppose I could spend a little time talking to my favorite little nuisance, but make this quick. I'd really like to see today's episode of-"
"Will you drop the 'innocent' act already?" Ichigo shouted furiously, "Seriously! No one buys it, and it only makes my glorious Suzume-sama look bad!"
Kanon snorted and then muttered, "'My glorious Suzume-sama', pfft."
"Don't laugh," Ichigo sniffed haughtily. "You're just jealous you can't be like her."
Kanon snorted again and waved a hand over her face, "Hello? Twin Number Two here."
"You're nothing like her," Ichigo said ardently, "You may have the identical face, but you'll never be the same. That's why Kojuro-dono picked her instead of you."
"Look, you," Kanon glowered. "Were you here to give me a message or to wipe your Suzume-loving juices on me? Because let me tell you, I'm really not in the mood for this. I'm missing my show right now."
Ichigo sniffed disbelievingly, "Hmph, well, I came because I wanted to know what you were up to."
"Up to?" Kanon asked innocently.
Ichigo glared, "Yes. You've been snooping around Oda Nobunaga's district way too much lately."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kanon smirked.
Ichigo continued glaring, "Not only that, but you've been interfering with the Dokuganryu's business affairs."
"Hm…" Kanon pretended to think about these claims seriously but then shrugged and said innocently, "Nope. Still don't know what you're talking about."
Ichigo sighed now, "Look, feigning innocence doesn't work when you smirk like that."
Kanon sighed as she swung around in her chair. She grabbed another box of Pocky from her drawers and began munching on the chocolate sticks carelessly. "Well, appearance doesn't mean everything."
"It does with you." Kanon only smirked. Finally Ichigo heaved another sigh as she said, "Fine then; let's say that, hypothetically speaking, you were interfering with the Dokuganryu."
"I'm listening," Kanon continued to smirk.
"What do you stand to gain if he falls in love?"
"Gain?" Kanon asked sweetly, "Well, his happiness of course. You know I love little Bontenmaru as if he were my own brother."
"You killed your older one," Ichigo muttered.
Kanon gasped melodramatically as she slapped a hand to her cheek in mock surprise. She asked in a mock wounded voice, "Oh, but I meant my other brother. You know, the one who's still alive?"
"Hmph, the only one you could possibly love in the world other than yourself is Kojuro-san, and he isn't interested. He could only ever love the one woman you can't win against."
Kanon stood up abruptly and looked as if she were about to hit Ichigo but suddenly the tense air passed quickly as she forced on a calmer façade. She suddenly laughed and shook her head, "You sneaky, little shit. Kougran taught you well, didn't he?"
It was Ichigo's turn to smirk now as she replied conceitedly, "He didn't have to for me to know that. It's written all over your face."
"Hmph…" Kanon turned to look over the papers on her desk indifferently but suddenly she started coughing. At first, they were small and quiet but after a few moments they got rougher and soon she was having a coughing fit.
Ichigo only watched with mild interest as Kanon covered her mouth tightly and gripped her chest as she started hacking away. After a while, she calmed down and was left panting for breath, her shoulders heaving as she supported herself on the desktop. There was a small trace of blood now on her hand, but she wiped it away on her black jeans and then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"It's gotten worse," Ichigo commented coolly when Kanon finally caught her breath.
Kanon glared, "I'm fine…" she breathed out.
Ichigo smirked, unconvinced, "Whatever you say, Jackal-sama."
Kanon had moved to the window and was looking out of it thoughtfully when she murmured to herself again, "Right… I'm fine." She watched as students wandered around the courtyard during their free period and then, continuing their previous conversation, "If anyone is going to control this stupid city and bring peace to it… It will be Bontenmaru."
Ichigo lifted an eyebrow with amusement, she asked, "Oh? Not Motonari-sama?"
Kanon smiled softly and replied, "No… Not Motonari." She turned her head slightly to look at Ichigo from the corner of her eye and explained, "Motonari has the wit and the power, but unfortunately, my brother doesn't have the compassion to rule." She shook her head as if to agree with herself, "No… Bontenmaru is really the only one who could do it. He's the only one I'd want to live under, anyway."
Ichigo smirked, "Oh? Then do you believe he'll be able to overpower the Devil King?"
Kanon nodded and said confidently, "Yes, but not alone."
Ichigo waited for Kanon to elaborate but when she didn't, she gave in to her curiosity and asked, "With whom, then?"
Kanon sighed and said, "It's true that he will defeat the Devil King… But he needs more support. He needs more friends. Who he needs, is Rin."
"Kazehaya Rin?" Ichigo questioned.
Kanon nodded, "Indeed." She traced patterns with her finger on the window sill and continued, "Sanada Yukimura will help him defeat the Devil King, but Rin will support him and show him that he's not so alone… She will be the one to give him a reason to fight.
"Kojuro has done well in his part to do that, but not even he is enough to fill the hole in Bontenmaru's heart."
"Hole?"
"Yes... The gap his bitch mother dug into him is deep," Kanon said wisely. "And the only type of person who could fill it again is another woman. Not me... Not Suzume... But a girl his age who has a hole of her own to complete, and who has similar parental problems. That girl is Rin, and Rin alone."
"Hm... You sound like you have a lot of confidence in her," Ichigo commented observantly.
"I do," Kanon said confidently. "I already made the mistake of trying to get Bontenmaru a friend before, but he was a failure and only managed to hurt Bontenmaru more." She gripped the window sill tightly, "Right... I only hurt him more and in the process, Suzume too. I can't let that happen again, so I have to have every bit of confidence in my new decision."
Ichigo fingered her weapon thoughtfully as she stated casually, "You know, her mother is Usagami Ayaka."
Kanon looked at the subordinate curiously and asked, "Is she really?"
Ichigo nodded, "Yeah, and her father is 'Kazehaya' Minoru, 'The Wandering Gale'."
Suddenly, as if a light had clicked in Kanon's mind, she asked in astonishment, "Is he really?!"
Ichigo looked at her with mild surprise and answered, "Of course. Didn't you know?"
Kanon took a deep breath and muttered, "Then that explains…"
She trailed off so Ichigo probed, "What?" Kanon looked thoughtful but didn't answer.
They were both quiet as a sudden, autumn wind blew in. It made Kanon's ponytail drift in the air as she thought about the new information and Ichigo shivered slightly.
Ichigo hated autumn.
"It's going to rain," she said, trying to coax Kanon into talking again.
"Mm…" was all she got as a reward. Suddenly Kanon turned to face Ichigo and said, "Oh, wait, if that's so, then I really need to go now."
"Wait, go?" Ichigo asked in confusion, the sudden change in topic throwing her off balance again. "Go whe- HEY!"
Ichigo ran to the window as Kanon suddenly jumped out of it; crouching on the ground to steady herself before leaping up and taking off again. Since they were only on the first floor it didn't take her long to recover. She waved behind her and shouted, "See you later, Ichirou-kun! Make sure you tell Kougran to shove his suspicions back up his ass for me!"
"Wait, Kanon-sama, wait, damn it! We aren't through talking yet!" Ichigo yelled at her, but Kanon only laughed back.
"Damn," Ichigo muttered to herself after Kanon was out of sight. She sighed, "Always so impetuous."
A/N:
- Kanon doesn't have tuberculosis.
- She likes anime.
- The anime she had been referring to was Death Note, if you hadn't already guessed.
- Jackal
(And the answer to your question, DeadlyVampire-DayDream Corp, if you're still reading this: Kanon's favorite kind of Pocky is strawberry. Ha ha, thanks for reviewing and staying with me this long. I hope you continue. :) Also, thank you to Shiori Kudo and Samurai Girl for the birthday wishes. They made my day~)