It is still Tuckson Tuesday in my world, so here ya go. And boy do I need it...
Olivia was laying on her side, eyes open, examining her husband as he slept fitfully next to her. She reached out to touch his face, assuming he was having some kind of dream, and patiently waited for him to come around and wake up.
But, unbeknownst to her, Ed Tucker was experiencing his worst nightmare.
Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, the cancer has spread.
Ed's body tensed as his head instinctively turned towards his wife in the bed, and she reached out to put her hand on his chest, noticing his face looked pained and curious as to what he was dreaming about.
I'm sorry, there isn't much we can do at this point. Chemo will prolong, but make her sick. It's time to make decisions.
Letting out a whimper, eyes still closed, a tiny tear escaped down Ed's cheek and it broke Olivia's heart. Deciding he had experienced enough of whatever his dream was, she quickly sat up and leaned over him to kiss at his cheeks and his lips in an effort to wake him up.
'Olivia, I can't live without you,' he pleaded next to her hospital bed, as he leaned over and kissed at her face.
"Ed," Olivia said firmly, noticing a second tear rolling down and hitting the pillow. "Ed, baby, wake up. Wake up…it's okay…."
'I'm okay, Ed,' she said softly, her face pale and her eyes empty. 'You'll be okay too.'
'No, I won't.'
"Olivia…" he moaned softly, his eyes not opening, but the tone broke her heart.
"ED!"
She finally shook him, raising her voice a bit, and startling him out of his nightmare.
"What? Liv? Huh?" Ed sat straight up, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head as he tried to ground himself in reality. The dream felt all too real and it was shaking him to his core. Continuing to look around and take deep breaths, he reached out to take both of Olivia's hands in his to squeeze and hang on to until he was able to communicate better.
"Just a dream, babe," Olivia said softly, her eyes staying on Ed's face as he clearly was still struggling. "Everything's okay…"
Ed just shook his head again, before climbing out of bed and kissing her lips quickly.
"Lemme splash some water on my face."
Olivia watched closely as he went into the bathroom and cracked the door, letting out a sigh and settling against the headboard as she gave him some time to calm down.
Meanwhile, Ed had braced himself over the sink and was occasionally splashing cold water all over his face in an attempt to get the images from his dream out of his head. His goal was to remain steadfast and strong for Olivia, not letting her see him this worried and this shaken about the impending test results, but if he were honest, that dream rattled him more than he wanted to admit.
Despite all of the hardships his family had faced; attacks, court hearings, legal battles, crazy people, he always had some sense of control, even if it was false. There was always something he could be doing. Talking to lawyers, confronting people, making veiled threats to officers in charge in order to make sure they were protecting his family. But this time it was different. This time, he was merely a passenger. Despite wanting to hold his wife tightly in his arms, in their home, safe from all of the outside forces that threatened them, it was an inside force that was now presenting itself. And it terrified Ed Tucker straight through his bones.
He must have been in the bathroom longer than he thought, because he suddenly felt two warm and familiar arms slither around his waist and settle against his chest while lips pressed kisses along his shoulder blades.
"Hey…" he said, his voice still raspy but much clearer than it had been.
"Hey yourself," Olivia responded slyly. "You gonna just stand here all night, or can I take you back to bed?"
Ed turned around, a slight smirk on his face and cupped his wife's cheeks in his large, calloused, yet loving hands.
"Always."
Olivia walked backwards, allowing her arms to slide from Ed's back and grab his hands, leading them back to the darkened bedroom. Once they were settled against the pillows, Ed rolled onto his side and pulled Olivia so she was tucked into his chest and burrowed under their down comforter. He took some steadying breaths as his fingers ran along her face, jaw, and the shell of her ear and his lips kissed at the top of her head. Olivia had one arm tucked between them, grasping at his t-shirt, and the other was wrapped around his waist, making sure they were touching as much as they could be.
"Talk to me?" She implored, slowly being lulled into a peaceful headspace as she felt her husband's soothing touch.
"You know how much I love you," he said softly, and in such a tone that signaled to Olivia that it wasn't a question. He was well aware, after all of these years, that she knew just how deeply he loved her. And he was right, she did, so she nodded against him and waited for him to continue. "And you know that I would do anything, anything, for you. For our children. For our grandchild."
"I do," she said, kissing at his chest through the thin blue material of his shirt. "You are a great man. An amazing man. And we are so very lucky to have you."
"I'm the lucky one," he said, his voice cracking just a bit, but he made a quick recovery. "I guess I'm just feeling a little helpless right now. There's nothing I can do to stop this, if those tests come back saying…ya know…"
"We can't think like that," Olivia said softly, pulling her head back so she could see into his eyes. And in them, she saw the terror swirling around and realized what he was dreaming about. "Oh, Ed…"
"I'm sorry," he said softly, his eyes drifting down and closing for a bit, before grasping some of her hair in his hand, almost as if he were afraid she would disappear.
"Don't be sorry," she said, trying to catch his eyes and failing.
"I just can't handle the thought of life without you," he admitted, pressing his lips to her forehead. "And I know that we still don't know what this is, but…"
"I know."
"I just love you so fucking much, Olivia," he said, tears finally spilling down his face as he desperately grasped his wife's body and continued to whisper his love to her, hoping it would somehow will away any sickness that was permeating her body.
Olivia, now in tears herself, just relished in the tight hold Ed had her in and rubbed his back with her hand in an effort to let him know she was still there, with him.
"I'm right here, Ed," she kept repeating. "It's gonna be okay. Whatever this is, I will fight it. I will fight it hard."
"No," he growled, still holding her tightly but moving to where they were nose to nose and he could peer into her eyes. "We will fight this."
She just nodded at the intensity of his words, as their tears began to mix together. After a few moments of staying frozen in that position, Olivia shifted and accidentally brushed her hips against his, causing his body to jerk. He promptly rolled her onto her back, eyes still attached to hers, and settled between her legs.
"Yes?" Olivia asked, eyebrow raised, in an effort to lighten the mood just a bit. Ed shook his head with a little smile, before his eyes narrowed.
"Distraction time," he said, his lips diving to her chest causing Olivia to let out a content sigh and surrender herself.
"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Me and Lizzie wanna play," Noah sang softly, as he and Lizzie sat by the back door and watched the rain pour down late Saturday afternoon.
It had been a dreary morning out on Long Island, and at first the Tuckers were excited to spend the day in pajamas and all pile into the living room to watch movies. But after three children's movies, the adults were restless and the two young ones had energy to spare. They attempted to play a board game, but by the third round, Lizzie was squirming to get down from Olivia's lap and Noah was just not interested, so they gave up.
Fixing another pot of coffee, Trevor began to search through his phone in an effort to find some kind of indoor activity and suddenly his face perked up.
"Hey, have you guys heard of this place?" he asked, handing his gadget over to the island where the other three adults were perched. "Looks pretty cool. About a forty-five minute drive."
"An indoor inflatable jungle?" Charlie asked, her face scrunched up as both Ed and Olivia put their glasses on and scrolled through the information page.
"Looks sorta fun," Olivia noted, glancing over at the kids then up at Trevor. "What's the worst case-scenario? It stinks and we are no worse off than we are now?"
"Exactly," Trevor said, nodding, and looking to Charlie who had taken the phone and was looking more carefully.
"Lemme just make sure they have a toddler section," she mumbled. "I don't want her in those things with big kids…"
After getting the seal of approval, Ed and Trevor were loading the kids into the back of the SUV and kissing their significant others goodbye. While hesitant to miss out on watching Noah and Lizzie jump around and have fun, neither Charlie nor Olivia had gotten much sleep the night before, so when the men offered to take the kids, they agreed quickly.
"Text us with pictures," Charlie said softly, kissing Trevor on the cheek and waving bye to Lizzie who was bouncing on his hip in anticipation of 'bouncy bouncy balls'.
"Of course."
And with that, the house was quiet again as Olivia headed back into the kitchen to clean up from their late lunch and Charlie moved to put the barely used board game back into the box. Eventually the two women ran out of things to occupy their time, and ended up on opposite ends of the sofa, feet touching, and pretending to scroll through their phones.
Olivia let out a sigh and tossed her cell on the coffee table, before eyeing Charlie.
"How are you doing, really?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" Charlie responded, fidgeting a bit and then putting her phone on the end table behind her. She moved her legs a bit, making sure she maintained contact with her mother, but hoped for a quick change of subject.
"Maybe," Olivia responded slowly. "But, you know how I'm doing right now…and I'm not quite sure you are really telling me how you are."
"Fair enough," she said, picking at the blanket. "But, I'm okay Momma. Nervous about the results, like we all are. But other than that, I'm okay."
"I don't believe you one bit, baby girl," Olivia said with a smile on her face, her brown eyes sparkling but also showing concern. "I didn't believe you weeks ago, and I most definitely don't believe you now."
"Gee, thanks," Charlie said with a smirk and shake of her head, hoping to keep the light-hearted banter up instead of diving into a deep discussion. The truth was, she was a mess on the inside, but this was not the time for her to tell her mother that. She had to be the strong one. For all of them. So she shoved it all down yet again. "It's just been a long few months, but I promise I'm okay."
Olivia just kept watching her daughter, smile leaving her face and suddenly replaced with concern.
"Charlie."
"Yeah?"
"You know I love you?" Olivia asked softly, causing Charlie's head to snap up in surprise.
"Of course I do," she said, not sure why that was ever a question.
"You know I'd do anything for you?"
"I know that, Momma."
"Why won't you talk to me?"
"You have enough going on right now," Charlie insisted. "And I'm an adult. I should be able to deal with my own shit without crying on your lap…"
"Baby girl…" Olivia said, not sure what to do with that statement. On the one hand, she was glad Charlie was working to find her own footing. But the truth of the matter was she would always be her baby girl, and as long as she was around, she was determined that Charlie would not deal with anything on her own.
Before she could say anything further, a large clap of thunder boomed through the house, shaking the windows a bit and causing the power to flash. Alarmed, they both jumped up and went in search of candles and flashlights.
"I hope those inflatables glow in the dark," Charlie joked, assuming that if Lizzie heard that thunder she'd be in Trevor's arms in a flash.
Olivia just let out chuckle in response as she rummaged for batteries.
"Aha!" she said, triumphantly pulling a package of Duracell out of their junk drawer. "Hopefully the power stays on there…those kids need to run."
"Tell me about it," Charlie said, shaking her head and silently sending up a thank you to whatever force interrupted their conversation.
The rest of the weekend went by relatively uneventful, and Monday afternoon found the Tuckers back in their usual routine, though they were all on edge waiting for the phone to ring.
"Oh, wow," Charlie said, looking up from her laptop at the table. She had decided to work from home that day, in case her parents needed her. "It's almost 2:30pm. Want me to go get Noah?"
"Do you mind?" Olivia asked from where she was peeling potatoes on the counter.
"Not at all. Need me to pick anything up while we are out?"
"If Noah is up for it, maybe grab something for dessert. He can pick."
"Oh, you may regret that," Ed teased as he waltzed into the kitchen and draped himself around Olivia. She squirmed a bit in his tight grip, still trying to work on dinner, but eventually just resigned herself to the hug and placed the peeler down before sinking back into his chest.
"You two are disgustingly cute," Charlie said with an eye roll. "I'm going to get your son. Lizzie should sleep for at least another hour…"
As the front door closed behind Charlie, Ed loosened his grip on Olivia and moved to where his hip was resting against the counter and he could observe her face.
"How ya holdin' up?" he asked, reaching out and playing with a lock of her hair that had fallen from her messy bun.
"Okay," she said, letting out a breath and moving to wash her hands. As she dried them, she turned to face him and gave him an honest look. "Just…ready for the phone to ring…rip the band aid, ya know?"
"Yeah," he agreed, moving towards her and pulling her in for a hug. "Yeah, I know. Hopefully it is good news, and we can just…move on."
They stood there in each other's arms for a few minutes, before Olivia pulled away and tossed the peeled potatoes into the pot of water on the stove. She had no sooner tossed the last one in, when she heard her phone go off from where it was still sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Hurrying into the other room, with Ed on her heels, she scooped it up and looked up at to see her husband's eyes mirrored her own worried ones.
"This is it," she breathed and he reached out to hold her elbows as she answered.
"Hello? Yes, hi...well, yes, we are a little anxious…"
Ed struggled to try and hear the words from the doctor, but all he heard was mumbling, so instead he studied his wife's face for any indication as to what the news was. He watched as all of a sudden her eyes closed and tears began to spill down her cheeks. He tightened his grip on her, but her legs gave out before he could catch her and she collapsed onto her knees, sobbing silently, as she continued to hold the phone to her ear.
Terrified, Ed dove down next to her and moved her chin so he could see her face. That was when he realized her eyes were spilling relieved tears, not ones of anguish. Letting out a breath, he moved his lips to her forehead and tried to calm down. Olivia finally pulled herself together enough to put the phone on speaker, so they could both hear the next steps.
"Olivia, you still there?"
"Yes, sorry," she replied, sniffling a bit and still on the floor, leaning heavily against Ed. "I put you on speaker phone so my husband could hear as well…"
"Very good," the doctor said, her voice kind as she began to rehash what she had just told Olivia. "As I said, the tumor is benign, which is great news. The rest of Olivia's tests came back clear, so as far as results go, this is best we could have hoped for."
"Thank God…" Ed replied, his eyes closing as he moved to sit with his back against the couch and pulled Olivia firmly into his chest. "Thank God…"
"I'd still like to go in and remove the mass," the doctor said. "So I'm looking to get you scheduled for that within the next couple of months. But other than that, you have nothing to worry about Mrs. Tucker."
"Thank you," she said, her voice shaking but getting stronger as she allowed the full reality of good news to wash over her body. "Thank you so much."
"You're very welcome. Just let this news sink in, and I'll be in touch about the other, okay?"
"Okay."
As Olivia hung up the phone, she tossed it across the room and turned a bit so she could bury her face in Ed's neck. The couple stayed like that for what was likely another half hour, both of them allowing their tears and emotion to pour out in the safety of each other's arms.
Ed was the first to move, but only slightly, so he could kiss at her face.
"I love you," he said. "I love you, baby."
"I love you, too."
Well? Is this what you expected? Yes? No? Maybe? Review!