Xu waited until I was cleared for discharge from the hospital, it hadn't taken long – the head injuries I had suffered – and there had been multiple, were not so serious. I'd recover – the other injuries however were old and they said nothing could be done about them. Xu ushered me into a car and we drove along the streets of Deling towards Galbadia Garden.

Unfortunately upon discharge I was given back my belongings and had to get dressed back up in torn, worn, dirty, blood stained clothes. I had sniffed at them tentatively – my shirt had the smell of salt, but there was a distinct undertone of urine. There was nothing else to do, I put the clothes on and left the hospital with Xu. She hadn't commented on my dishevelled attire.

"Are you really OK?" She asks, but concentrates on the road.

"I don't know," I say honestly. Physically – probably, but that was not what she had meant. I had broken down and sobbed in her arms only hours before. I felt a small sense of release after that, but it wasn't over, no, the worst was coming. She rolls down one of the windows, I feel my face flush with embarrassment; I probably stink. "Sorry," I mumble.

"I'm under direct orders from Head Commander Leonheart," her tone switches from concern to that slightly formal one she always used when speaking about Garden business. "To transport you as a civilian prisoner, along with the Sorceress' Knight Seifer Alamasy to Balamb Garden, tomorrow."

"Prisoner? Civilian?"

"After the incident in Trabia the Garden Disciplinary Committee decided it was best to discharge you from Garden and strip you of SeeD status. But you never knew that," she says more softly. "We tried to inform you – but you weren't at the house, you didn't show up. Quistis was the first to start worrying. After about two weeks of nothing – we were all worried. We tried contacting everyone we could think of after a month – but nothing, no one knew where you were."

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

"I don't understand it," she says.

"I don't know how to explain it," I say plainly. She makes a small mumbling noise and I look out the passenger window – watching the people pass by – they are all carrying on with life.

"He's not, happy – about, any of this," her voice is uncertain and I look back at her.

"Squall?"

"I'm – not sure what he is going to do," she glances quickly at me and she is definitely worried, looking back at the road ahead. I'm worried about what Squall is going to do too – he had been tortured at the desert prison by Seifer. Would this be his chance at retribution? Revenge? What about all the things Seifer had done to Rinoa – there was no chance he had forgotten. Squall and I weren't on the best of terms when I had left. We had been at odds several times during my final years at Garden. The war had changed him, like all of us – but how much had he changed since I had left?

"Can I see Seifer?"

"The holding cells at Galbadia Garden are all together – we don't hold a lot of people there for long. It'll just be you two – why are you so concerned with him? Zell – what is going on? Did you find him – while living on the streets – is that it?"

"I just – I need to make sure he's OK."

"He'll be OK – I have Quistis watching him – I can't trust any of the soldiers at Galbadia to be alone with him. I've had to discharge a few soldiers on inhumane treatment of prisoners; those are the ones I caught." I shiver at the thought of it, but exhale deeply – he's safe. Quistis had a level head on her and was at least forgiving of Seifer.

"That's a relief."

"Not for long," she says sharply. "You're both going to Balamb Garden Zell – did you not listen to a word I said? That's Squalls playing field – I have no power there, only at an advisory level since we transferred. Anyhow – I don't think Seifer's OK – he seemed… catatonic almost, we hadn't questioned him for long before word of you got through to me. I came straight away."

"Squall's going to kill him," I had wanted it to sound like a question but my voice wavers.

"That isn't the least of our worries. You're a civilian now – and come under a very different set of rules – assaulting Galbadian soldiers – what is wrong with you?"

"You don't understand what he did!" I bark back at her.

"Who?"

"Never mind," I hiss through gritted teeth – I can't tell her what that pudgy bastard did to Seifer.

"Did one of my soldiers – hurt you in some way?"

"No – they didn't, when did you transfer to Galbadia?" I ask her changing the topic.

"Eight months ago – I was… There was a lot of shit going down within Garden politics; it was the right thing to do."

"Tell me about it – I've been… out of the loop about things."

"After Fisherman's Horizon obtained their independency – Squall lost it – he was… he started to send Black SeeD on covert missions there. He was convinced that Dobe was – I don't know, concocting some evil plan? He was hell bent on it – I couldn't talk him out of it. The other Garden Commanders agreed with me but wouldn't do anything. I couldn't – I couldn't stand by and watch. I exposed him to the Garden Committee – Trabia and Galbadia stepped in. But I don't know the details – I was, kept out of it. All I know is Fisherman's Horizon hasn't reported a sighting of Black SeeD since and I was transferred here – punishment maybe, he'd think. But I don't care – I've been able to stamp out a lot of unhealthy Garden habits here. Quistis came with me of course – she nearly quit Garden entirely she was furious at him, she was angry for me."

"So – Squall's gone off the deep end entirely?"

"I don't know – but I know it is not a good thing that we are handing you both off to him." Her focus is on the road and I shift in the seat nervously. No – it definitely was not a good thing. But Dobe had achieved his mission – Fisherman's Horizon was now independent and safe. There was hope – a slither of hope. "Quistis will be happy to see you," she says softly, a small smile quirking the edge of her mouth.

"I –" I gulp heavily. "It'll be good to see her too." So a lot had changed while I was gone, more than I had expected. Was Rinoa OK? How had she held the secret of helping me for more than a year? "Who knows – about Seifer?"

"Seifer's return from the presumed dead? Well, probably half the world will know just by watching the evening news – it'll be everywhere. By tomorrow it'll be on the front page of every paper. I'm told several papers have already called Garden's public liaison offices for an official comment or quote on the situation."

It would be on the evening news – Rinoa would know, Hyne Rinoa will be heartbroken and distraught – I had failed to keep him out of Garden's clutches. Would she help me still? Now that everything had gone to hell? Maybe she'd be able to persuade Squall to be lenient.

"How's Rinoa?"

"I'm not sure – we're not close. You're close friends aren't you?"

"Yeah," I answer, not sure why she is asking.

"Well – you might want to know – I mean, she probably would have told you if you were around. Quistis told me –"

"What happened?" I ask worried how she is avoiding whatever it is she wants to say.

"She – lost a baby, a miscarriage – several months ago." I bit my lip – Rin… Hyne how awful, I wasn't there. She had kept my secret and while I was gone I hadn't been there to support her. "Quistis visits her now and again, she told me. You've been flying under the radar for a long time Zell."

"I know, I didn't mean –" I cut myself off. How could I explain what I had meant? Stick to the story – homeless bum, a runaway. The guise of an immature tantrum at the world, I had abandoned my friends – everyone who had stood by me as I had slowly unravelled. That part was true – I had abandoned them to save Seifer of all people, but I couldn't tell them that. Rin – Hyne it would be good to see her, to confide in her at the very least, she would help me. Neither of us would stand by and watch Seifer be executed.

Once we arrive at Galbadia Garden – Xu tersely escorts me in silence down to the lower levels where they have their holding cells. I can hear shouting – and my heart swells with the hope that Seifer may have escaped. Xu quickens her pace and I follow suit.

"It wasn't our fault!" Someone shouts, we're very close now.

"And next you'll be telling me that Chocobo's fly?" The disdain in Quistis' voice is fierce and sharp. We turn the corner and there are three Galbadian soldiers standing in front of her.

"What's happened?" Xu calls out as we approach. Quistis turns to her, a look of relief awash over her face for a moment, and it is gone.

"He fell over – I swear!" One of them nearly whines. I feel my chest constrict and I look through the bars of the cell of where they are all standing.

"The three of you are on unpaid disciplinary leave until I say otherwise. Get out of here and back to your dorms right now." Xu says sharply. Seifer is crumpled on the floor, his clothes are different, but there is a distinct splatter of blood on the front of his shirt. I grip at the bars – his face is obscured, pressed into the floor.

"Open this," I hiss quietly at Quistis. She stares at me for a moment shocked, and the soldiers move out of the corridor and out of sight quickly. "Open the door!" I shout at her. She pulls out the keys almost as if in a daze, I rip them out of her hands and unlock the cell.

I throw open the door and rush to him, pulling him up off the floor and turning him over – he's been beaten. I feel my chest constrict with pain, it's all happening again – I've pulled him out of the rift only for him to experience the same cruel horrible fates. I want to scream but just hold him – kneeling and pulling his unconscious body closer.

"How did that happen?" I hear Xu quietly.

"There was – Hyne damnit I left them for all of 15 minutes to sort some stupid shit out upstairs. Balamb's Black SeeD will be here tomorrow at 0600 hours."

"I'll have them disciplined," I am breathing unevenly and struggling to keep composure with Seifer in my lap. "How bad is he?"

"Do you have any curative magic?" I ask. "I think – it's just cuts and bruises." Xu mumbles and I can feel the curative magic play along my fingers that are holding the back of his neck. The swelling in his face goes down immediately and the cuts seal. I spit on the edge of my shirt and wipe the blood away.

"So – you two…" Xu ventures.

"No one deserves this kind of treatment!" I snap at her angrily.

"Zell – you, you look terrible." Quistis says and I look up at her as she sits down on the cot in the cell.

"Yeah – look, I'm sorry – for – for everything." I struggle, and look at Xu. I just hope she will explain everything to Quistis. I wasn't a good liar; it was easy to simply play into everyone's assumptions.

"He was picked up on the streets – with Seifer, homeless with head injuries – there were some… odd things in the medical report," Xu says and sits beside Quistis, they hold hands and look at me.

"What did it say?" I ask.

"Mentally unstable – delusional – Zell, it said you didn't know what year it was." I bite my lip, and look down at Seifer's face to avoid their gazes. "You don't know how long you've been gone – do you?"

"Did – did he do something to you?" Quistis asks now.

"No!" I say a little too loudly and it echoes. "No, he – he didn't. I – had to get away, it was just – random, I don't know." I stare at his unconscious face, it is slack and almost looks … relaxed maybe. That emptiness before… it makes me shiver to recall it. Did he truly not know who I was – where he was? He had been lucid – in the rift, especially towards the end, lucid. What was this empty husk of a person that lay in my arms now?

"President Loire is aware of the situation; he said he'll be in contact with Squall to arrange a speedy closed trial – War Tribunal only. He thinks this is going to re-open a lot of old wounds."

"It will… it won't be pretty."

They sit in silence as I absently touch Seifer's forehead – pushing his hair out of his eyes. I'll get you out of this I tell him silently. We'll be OK – somehow, I don't know how. I'm stupid – impulsive, you always said that – an opportunity will show itself, surely – surely it will.

"We'll have to watch them all night you realise," Xu says.

"No, I will – you need to rest. You have to be with them in transit. You have a high enough rank to insist. Squall is sending Ragnarok and Black SeeD – I don't like it, not a bit."

"What about you? You can't watch them every second, you need to eat – go to the bathroom. If this happened in only fifteen minutes –"

"I'll page you – if I need you. I can't trust anyone, not after what happened here," I hear Quistis sigh heavily. "We're just avoiding the inevitable. Squall's a monster," I look up at Quistis and her brow is knitted with anger. "Hyne knows what he'll do once he gets a hold of them. But we can protect them for now."

"For now," Xu echoes, they just look at each other solemnly, Xu wraps at arm around Quistis shoulder pulling her in, pressing a chaste kiss to her temple. I watch them with a distant pain of longing, they rarely displayed affection – watching them now…

"Zell, I'll help you get him off the floor and into the bed, but we need you in separate cells. I don't want to be caught out giving you 'special treatment' or breaking protocol." I nod. "It won't help to have you both seen like this."

I nod again, it takes all three of us to lift Seifer up onto the cot, lifting an unconscious body is not as easy as it sounds.

"Get up!" I am roughly shaken awake, and there is Black SeeD standing above me. I get out of the cot with a start and am relieved to see Quistis and Xu standing in the corridor of the holding area. I can see them through the bars.

Seifer is already being pulled out his cell, his hands and ankles in restraints. I get up and they grab my arms roughly – beginning to put restraints on my arms.

"There's no need for that," Quistis says angrily stepping into the cell.

"Standard regulations for prisoner transport," one of Black SeeD replies coolly. "Don't expect special treatment, traitor." He spits back at me. Quistis is positively fuming but remains silent, I see Xu touch her with the barest of whisper.

"I don't think I need to remind you that he has yet to be found guilty of any serious charges."

"Assaulting Galbadian soldiers is a serious office – or so I believed," the SeeD retorts.

"Which is a matter for me, and my Garden as Commander of Galbadia Garden it is I who will be convening any hearing against Mr. Dincht." The SeeD scoffs.

"Not before he faces these charges," the SeeD tosses Xu an envelope and Xu opens it promptly as they start to lead me out of the cell. What is it? I can't see it as they push me towards the cell door. I look at Seifer – he still has that blank glassy gaze, but is watching us.

"Conspirator to the Sorceress Knight and suspected murder of Garden Cadets," she reads out, and I open my mouth to protest but the Black SeeD just chuckles. "This is a joke," Xu says. "You cannot be serious –"

"Well – it was a little odd that just before he disappears several Cadets die – doesn't even stick around to hear the verdict of the Disciplinary Committee? And now – here he is in league with the Sorceress Knight. I'd say it's very plausible, birds of a feather stick together – haven't you heard? Now if you'll excuse us Commander, we should be on our way."

"I will be escorting them with you, until they are officially taken charge of by Head Commander Leonheart they are still my prisoners."

"I don't answer to you," he hisses back.

"And I do not answer to you!" They stare at each other silently, and I nearly expect for Xu to strike at him. They are both tense – fuming at each other.

"As you will, Commander," he bows stiffly in front of her and we are all ushered up and out of the holding cell area and through a series of corridors and stairways – no one is around, no other SeeD, soldiers, cadets – it is almost as if the place is empty. Seifer glances back at me and I trip almost shocked – does he remember?

"Watch it!" One of the Black SeeD say and roughly pull me back up to standing.

"It's not exactly easy walking around like this," I say through gritted teeth. And I gasp as I feel his elbow connect with my ribs.

"What's wrong?" I hear Xu say ahead of us.

"Nothing – he tripped." The Black SeeD calls out, and I glare at him – dirty bastard. I look back up at Seifer and he is still watching me, I try to say anything – everything with my eyes looking at him, not trusting myself to say a word with all of them watching so closely. We'll get out of this – I promise.

He turns his gaze away from me and we keep moving forward until we reach the landing and are shuffled into Ragnarok. We are chained to railings and to the seats we sit in and I glance around. Xu remains with us silent and pensive, how the hell was there any chance of escape like this?

Instead of being shuffled upstairs into the Head Commander's office we are taken into the sub levels of Garden, and I am filled with a sense of unshakeable dread as we walk past the pale blue glowing floor plates below us. I glance at Xu and she too is surprised – she gives me a tiny shrug telling me she is just as confused.

We approach two Black Seed standing either side of a large blackened glass wall – there is a double door between them. Seifer is staring around us in confusion – is he staring to pull it together? I desperately hope so – facing Squall was going to be - bad.

"Is the Head Commander in?" The Black SeeD who appears to be in charge asks. The same one who had argued with Xu back at Galbadia Garden. The entire ride here – none of them mentioned names, just a lot of 'Sir this' and 'Sir that'. Did they even know each other's names?

"Yes Sir, he's been waiting," one of the guarding Black SeeD presses a button I didn't notice beside the door and a few moments later they slide open. I am taken aback – Squall is sitting on an unusually luxurious armchair, its back taller than he is. He is – almost lounging.

I'm pushed into the room with Seifer and Xu steps forward confronting Squall. I look around – is this – some kind of lair of his? Has he relocated his office – here?

"What is the meaning of this?" She is holding out the envelope.

"Greetings to you too Commander," he says smoothly, almost mockingly and gets out of the chair. "I believe you were able to read in the past."

"A load of rubbish is what I read! What is wrong with you! He fought alongside you in the war – do his sacrifices in the war mean nothing to you?" I feel the Black SeeD tighten their grip on my arms painfully and I look at them sharply – what the heck? But neither looks at me, they keep their gaze firm on Squall and Xu.

"That is for the war council to decide, isn't it?" He almost purrs at her and she throws the envelope on the floor at his feet. He simply steps over it and walks towards Seifer, I can't see his face properly. "It's been a long time Seifer – and I haven't forgotten." Seifer's brows knit in confusion and Squall turns away and looks at me. His eyes are furious but his face is stone cold. He stalks over and stands in front of me.

"I don't know how I didn't see it. Murdering your own students – for what? For sport? For him?" I struggle against my restraints and the firm grip of the Black SeeD either side of me.

"I'm no murderer!" I bark at him. "I was responsible – but I didn't murder them – you know that! You know that and you –" He strikes me so suddenly I don't even see it, I fall to the floor in a heap and my cheek is burning with pain and the faint crackle of magic – did he just?

"What are you doing!" Xu shouts rushing over to Squall – one of the Black SeeD steps forward and grabs her before she reaches him. She punches the Black SeeD squarely in the face but his hold doesn't let go. "Get your filthy hands OFF ME!"

"Let her go," Squall says unconcerned, and the Black SeeD releases her. I glance at Seifer – and his face is not as impassive as it was before, he is paying attention. I am sure of it.

"This is – this is immoral," she spits at Squall, fuming – I can see her hands clench and unclench.

"You do not have command here – I do, you are simply a delegate. And your purpose here is done –"

"I am a Commander of Garden and a delegate on the Garden Committee don't think for one second I won't –"

"Shut your mouth you bloated, self important filthy treacherous snake!" He nearly raves, yelling at her, "I have not forgotten what you are, don't think you are untouchable." He hisses, my stomach twists with dread – how long have I been gone? Hyne – Squall had been unreasonable, moody yes – but this – this was something else.

"Galbadia will not stand for this –"

"Galbadia Garden will burn to the ground before you try and sway the committee against me again," Xu gasps, rattled.

"You're insane," she breathes.

"Don't try me," he flicks his hand. "Get this insipid bitch out of here." Several Black SeeD manhandle Xu out of the office, she glances at me – concern and worry etched on her face, a silent apology and I know she can't stop him, not here, not like this, not right now.

Squall kneels down beside me, I am unable to get up or squirm away or protect myself in these restraints; my arms are firmly held behind me. I can hear his leather gloves creak with the flexing of his hand.

"I never pegged you for a traitor," he says calmly and grabs my chin in his gloved hand.

"You're the traitor," I spit up at him and he strikes me across the face again – the sparks of electricity burning across my skull. I feel as though my nostrils are on fire – what the hell is he casting?

"You reek like the gutters of Galbadia, you should have stayed there," he says quietly, and then he hits me with such force in my stomach I am coughing – spluttering. He gets up and walks away from me.

"Get them out of my sight – interrogations begin at 1100."

To say that the Black SeeD had been cold would have been an understatement. For the most part they were cruel to me – spitting at me, calling me a traitor – dropping my food on the floor, throwing water on me to wake me up. It is cold in my cell, and I shiver – wet again from another dousing. Sometimes they stepped on my foot, my hand – sometimes they punched me, but not often.

I'm certain that a bone in my hand is broken though – as it was constantly in a dull pain, but sharp and distinct whenever I tried to move my hand. These cells were not made of see through bars, but stone walls – only a small opening in the door to communicate through.

Sometimes I heard Seifer's distant hoarse screams and I tried shouting at them to stop. It would only make them stand at the door and laugh – taunt me. So now when I heard him I just curled up and cried as quietly as I could. Interrogations begin at 1100 he had said so coldly – as if ordering breakfast! I hate him – SeeD – Garden – everything. A mockery – it was a farce – a force for protecting the world – from what? What was the purpose of any of this sick disgusting behaviour? This was just as bad as what Ultimecia had done during the war.

I can't tell if it is day or night in this dank cell underground. Sometimes they didn't even turn the light on, and left me in pitch blackness, only a slither of light from the bottom of the door sometimes filtered through – sometimes. How many days had passed as I was kept down here? No one had yet interrogated me – I dreaded each time they opened the cell to terrorise me – fearing that they would drag me out and into – whatever place they kept dragging Seifer into.

"Get him up," I am dragged off the floor and try to shield my eyes from the brightness of the sudden light. "Come on," I am dragged out of the cell and I struggle.

"No!" I shout, flailing against them – but I have barely eaten, am dehydrated, sleep deprived and weakly struggle against them. "No – please – let me go! I haven't done anything!" I beg and plead with them but they do not react. They drag me through the corridor and down stairs into what looks like the bowels of Garden – machinery and panels, metal floors – above us are pipes and gratings.

"Strap him up there," I struggle against them again but they lift me up and clamp my arms onto the wall, I can barely touch the ground with my toes and my shoulders ache with the awkward weight. I look around franticly and – oh Hyne – no no no, this was it –

"What have you done?" I gasp at them – their faces are cool – impassive. Seifer is lying naked on the floor in the corner, there are large gashes in his back, weeping wounds – the skin is nearly torn away from his back. "Why are you doing this?"

"You're turn pretty boy – where has the Sorceress' Knight been hiding all these years?"

When I am unceremoniously dumped back in my cell I can barely move – my arms are aching, my knees are swollen with them beating at them – my shoulders are stiff and I can barely move. Several of my fingers are broken and I need to try and set them right. All I can do is breathe heavily with my face pressed against the cool stone floor – thanking Hyne that I hadn't said anything. There were moments where I was certain I had passed out, or had been delirious from the pain. I'm not so sure – but I'm sure I hadn't told them anything.

Seifer had come to half way through them 'interrogating' me and he was dragged back to his cell. But the look in his eyes was dead and blank – whatever recognition had been there before was gone – he was reliving all of his worst nightmares.

I can feel tears drop from my eyes and pool against the ground and my face – there was no hope – we would both be executed. We should have stayed in that place; at least he had the chance of reliving some good memories. I'm such a fool.

"Zell? Hyne Zell wake up," I awaken to light jostling and a woman's voice.

"Ma?" I ask, awakening blearily, I reach out my hand – I can move my hand.

"Zell – oh thank Hyne – you're alive." I am pulled into an awkward embrace; I wrap my arms around a thin dainty frame.

"Rin," I sigh her name in relief.

"Hyne – you have no idea," she pulls back and I look at her face, there are tears on her cheeks, her eyes are bleary and red. "I waited – I trusted you'd be back – not like this, not like this," she shakes her head and her hair falls around her face.

"I'm sorry," I say, genuinely full of regret and guilt – everything that has happened here is entirely my fault. She smiles awkwardly and wipes at her face.

"You're alive," she says shakily. "When I found you – on the floor – I thought," she chokes on a sob. "What is happening here?"

"How did you get here?" I grab her shoulders – suddenly aware of the fact that she is here – the door to my cell is open.

"My powers – I, look it's a bit of a story – but we need to get Seifer – can you stand? I tried to heal the injuries as best I could." She helps me up and my knees have a dull ache in them, but I stand up with her help. I limp with her out of the cell. I start – there are two Black SeeD standing outside of my cell door and Rinoa looks at them.

"Where is Seifer?" I glance at her sharply – her voice has a lower, silkier quality to it and I felt like claws have just grazed the back of my head, I shiver.

"Interrogation room," they say in unison, but their eyes have a dull quality to them.

"Take us there," she says again in that strange voice. They lead and we follow.

"What is going on?" I whisper at her as we follow them, I struggle limping along – the pain in my knees not entirely gone. I flex my hand and it is stiff with fine shooting pains like glass shards. Bastards – ruthless bastards.

"I'm using my powers to get you both out of here," she whispers as we walk along.

"Hey! Aren't you –" I hear a confused male voice as we turn the corner.

"Stop!" Rinoa commands in her voice. "Release him to me –" Seifer yanks himself away from their grasp sharply as they let go. He falls to the floor gasping for air. They had been dunking him under water and drowning him! He scrambles away from them, pressing himself up against the wall gasping heavily, spluttering and coughing up water.

I stand frozen for a moment, watching Rinoa dash to him, kneeling in front of him.

"Seifer – oh I'm so sorry – this is, this is not – I'm so sorry – I would have come sooner if – I –" She sobs and throws her arms around his neck, but he is placid and does not return the embrace. He looks over her shoulder at me; his face is still shocked – frantic with fear and panic. Were they trying to kill him? I walk forward.

"We have to get out of here Rin," I touch her shoulder and look at the Black SeeD standing placidly as if everything that is happening is normal – the sight of them sets me on edge. I can't shake the feeling that at any moment they could attack us.

"I know," she sobs, pulling away from Seifer. She mutters and casts a number of curative spells over Seifer. He simply looks at her with confusion. "Seifer?"

"I'm not sure – how with it he is Rin," she glances up at me sharply. "He doesn't remember, I don't think he does –"

"Seifer you know me right?" She turns back to him, gripping his face with both hands and turning his gaze to her.

"Rinoa," he breathes huskily and I feel my chest constrict painfully. He remembers her.

"Yes," she smiles and tears are escaping her eyes again. "We're getting you out of here," she glances at a watch on her wrist. "We have to hurry." She stands up and turns to the Black SeeD, wiping at her eyes again. "You and you – take off your clothes and give them to me," they begin to strip obediently.

"What?"

"I can't get you out of here dressed like that, look – I can hold these guys under my sway for – hours at a time. This floor has no security but them – but the upper levels have electronic security," she hisses at me.

"We're fucked –"

"No, we're not. We're lucky – Garden takes its surveillance system down for three hours each month for maintenance. You have no idea how lucky we are Zell – Hyne only knows what would have happened if you had been down here longer than a few days."

"A few days!" I exclaim in shock as she begins to hand me the Black SeeD uniform. Hyne – it had felt like weeks, but without sleep – without natural light – it had been impossible to tell. I pull off my filthy clothes. "Keep your clothes; you need to change back into them when we get back."

"What!?"

"I need you to put these clothes on Seifer," she says holding out the uniform to him, he makes no move to take it. "Seifer," he shakes his head slightly and looks up at her, finally taking a hold of it and getting up off the floor slowly.

"We're getting the fuck out of here, and never looking back."

"No – look Zell – you need to trust me." She looks at her watch again. "It's almost 4am right now, no one will be around – I've gotten the supplies from your house and a boat from the wharf – we're going to get Seifer out of here but we need to be back before 6am – I'm told that some SeeD are up and around at that time. The surveillance systems will come back online at about 7am – give or take, so we have a window there with some slack but I don't want to cut it that fine." I move to take off my pants and Rinoa turns around and faces away. I look at Seifer and he just gives me a puzzled look – he's at least pulled on the black shirt, his hair is dripping wet. "Xu has organised for a Estharian defender to be here this morning." Rinoa continues. "He's going to get you out of here. He's very good – Xu says you could be cleared within a week, maybe sooner – you'll be totally free."

"Fuck that, I don't need to prove my innocence to them!" I say angrily to her back.

"Seifer escaping is one thing – he is," she pauses. "Guilty of the charges that he's being accused of, you aren't."

"It wasn't him – he was being controlled. Matron told –" Seifer starts suddenly and makes an odd noise and we both turn to look at him, he turns away from us and is shaking lightly. Don't say her name, he had said to me. "She told me that he wasn't willing – she could, she could come out of hiding and testify in his favour – she's sick – she probably –"

"She's dead Zell." Rinoa says firmly turning around and looking at me. I am shocked – silent, I open my mouth to protest – she's wrong. "Squall told me – she passed away earlier this year," I look at Seifer, his trembling has ceased and he slowly continues to dress with his back to us.

"Fuck," I hiss under my breath.

"Was that your plan?"

"No! I was never planning to return to Garden. I had planned to get us both into hiding, to go to Fisherman's Horizon – hoping it would gain independence soon and be a safe haven."

"It is – President Dobe achieved it."

"I know," I say – President Dobe – he probably didn't like that title, he hated the title of Mayor – insisting it was an honorary title.

"Anyhow – if we get Seifer away, word will get out that he's escaped – they'll search for him. But we need to stay free of suspicion – we have to be free to help him don't we?"

"I don't want to just leave him out there alone –"

"Neither do I!" She shouts at me, Seifer turns and looks at us both. "I've thought this through – it's the best plan I can come up with right now. He gets away, you stay here, and get out through legitimate means, and once you're cleared we'll help him." She grabs my hand and laces her fingers in mine. "I trusted you, now you need to trust me."

"And what about Squall, he's not going to let this drop – he pretty much beat up on me for fun when I arrived," Rinoa inhales shakily.

"He's not –"

"Rin he's stark raving mad!" I grab at her, "can't you see what's going on here? What they were doing to us, under his command?"

"I can see," she whispers shakily.

"How exactly are you going to stay with him –"

"We've been – I've been staying in the apartment above the bar, we've – been distant these last few –" her voice cracks and I watch her arm snake around her stomach as she closes her eyes. Of course, I pull her into an embrace.

"I'm sorry," I whisper into her hair. I watch Seifer's face – it is impassive but I am sure he is paying attention again, he hasn't spoken a word since he had said Rinoa's name. Rinoa lightly pulls away.

"I know Zell, we have to go – we don't have a lot of time."

We had walked through Garden without issue, the entire time my nerves were a mess and I kept glancing around expecting Black SeeD to jump out at us. There had been a Cadet or two entering the Training Centre but they paid us no heed, barely even glancing our way. Seifer followed us, slightly less dazed than before, but quiet and unspeaking – it just added to unnerve me. Once we were out of Garden we were rushing across the fields to get to the beach.

"I've got the boat moored on that little fishing dock that sits right outside of town," Rinoa says as we run.

"You weren't joking when you said cutting it fine," I reply – my knees are screaming in pain but Seifer seems to be keeping up and I'm not nearly as fucked up as he is and I push myself onwards.

When we finally reach the dock I am nearly out of breath and clutching at my side. The dock creaks under us and we approach the dinghy little boat.

"Seriously?" I say – looking at the rusty and rickety thing – this did not look entirely sea worthy.

"It's the only one that won't be noticed missing for a while. A drunk who comes to bar owns it – has for years – he doesn't even step into it. It's been moored in town for – Hyne knows how long." She leaps aboard.

"Do you even know if it's operational?" I leap aboard and turn around to help Seifer; he looks at my outstretched hand as if it is made of gnat dung but after a moment takes it and climbs aboard.

"I'm not an idiot Zell – it's fuelled up, working and ready to go, Seifer get over here – I need to show you how to work this beast."

"Beast," I scoff, looking around, there is even a few empty bottles of scotch rolling around the desk: definitely owned by a drunk.

"There's extra fuel in this compartment here, and this one – has all the supplies that Zell had prepared for you, I've added some." She reaches in and grabs something. "Here," she holds something out to Seifer and he tentatively takes it – but a primal hoarse scream emerges and he pulls away as if burned and falls back onto the floor of the boat.

"No – no, get away – get away," he mumbles, shaking his head looking at Rinoa in horror. She moves towards him and he reacts violently pulling away. I approach – a little surprised and kneel behind him confused.

"What did you do?"

"I was just – giving him this," she holds out a bright yellow feather in her palm. I touch Seifer's shoulder gently.

"She's – she's get away, no, get away," he is whispering.

"My icon?" I ask her, and she nods, confused. "No – put it away – he won't use it. Do you remember what she felt like – when she," I wave at my hand at my head.

"Like a – oh," she gasps in realisation. "Seifer I'm sorry!"

"It's OK Seifer," I tell him. "She's dead – she's not here. You're safe." He hugs himself but has stopped muttering. I stand up.

"Here, give it to me – I might need it if I'm going back to that hell hole." She hands it over to me and I can feel the familiar trill of electricity race up my arm in recognition, I tuck it into the back pocket of the Black SeeD uniform.

"OK, so – I was saying, the supplies are all here. Everything you will need," Seifer's gaze watches her steadily from his crouching position on the ground. "These are the controls, turn this key to start the engine – throttle, steering, there's a manual control for the rudder if anything goes wrong, but hopefully not. Look it's not hard – I got the hang of it pretty easy," she glances back at Seifer and he nods in comprehension.

"Stay away from major cities," I say. "No, all cities, people – stay away from them. You're front page news all over the world Seifer – you can't be caught. Go – somewhere else,"

"The orphanage – it's abandoned now, properly abandoned – boarded up." Rinoa offers.

"Maybe," I say – looking at Seifer, unsure if he would go there. "You could stay on the fringes of Trabia maybe somewhere near the Vienne Mountains or The Great Salt Lake –"

"One of the smaller islands," Rinoa says, opening one of the compartments near the steering. "I pulled some maps out of Zell's place – they're very detailed – you just need to not get recognised."

"There's stuff to disguise yourself in the supplies, hair dye, make-up to cover your scar – use it. Send word as soon as you're safe," I tell him – he glances between us as we assault him with instructions. I pray that he listens, understands – knows how important this is.

"I live and work at a bar called 'Wharf's End' here in Balamb – you can contact me there."

"No – that's way too risky," I say to her, and turn back to Seifer. "If you send any word, make sure you are disguised before going anywhere near a town, and make it a small one – send word to President Dobe of Fisherman's Horizon – address it to me, don't sign your name – he'll pass it onto me."

"Zell are you sure?"

"We can trust him," I tell her. "He agreed to help, I asked before I left."

"You told him?" She asks with disbelief.

"Well, I said I needed help to – help a war criminal lay low – live a new life, he agreed. He doesn't know that it's Seifer. Look he's an idealist, a pacifist – through and through, we can trust him." I turn to Seifer and kneel down in front of him. "Please – please I am begging you, – you have to send word to us once you're safe," I grab his hand firmly; "we'll come and help you." He just stares at me, not acknowledging my request; I swallow thickly, squeezing his limp hand. "I've – we've come a long way – it's not been easy – I know that. But I believe you're listening, please contact us," I say thickly.

Rinoa starts up the engine, and it hums noisily with a cranking thunk-a-dunking sound. I pull at his hand and help him up off the ground; he gets up and proceeds towards the steering wheel as if in a daze.

"Oh – there was this, book…" Rinoa pulls out a thin purple book from a compartment and places it in my grasp. "I don't know why it was with the supplies."

Lodella…I touch the cover with the aching sweet memory of its pages. I look up at Seifer watching me with a puzzled look. I hold it out to him.

"Take it," he just looks at the book with that blank stare. "Take it and read it – you'll understand." He doesn't move, and I take a deep breath. "I take this Knighthood away from you; it will leave you empty as it must. Rise up, so that you may once again be you. Your true worth will fill you back up again in time." He takes the book as if in a daze, it is lose in his grasp. Rinoa grabs my arm and we move to the edge of the boat. We jump off the boat and she begins to untie it from the dock.

I watch him look at the book – he slowly looks up at me standing there. Remember – damnit remember who I am and what we've been through! His eyes focus with recognition for a moment.

"You were there," I only barely hear him say, and I feel my heart constrict – he remembers!

"Get out of here!" Rinoa yells and pulls at my arm to return to Garden. He goes to the steering wheel and the boat begins to chug away from the dock. "Focus!" Rinoa snaps at me, shaking my arm. "We don't have a lot of time."

We run back to Garden.