Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thank you again to my beta, amythesw :)

Chapter 19

Justin frowned deeply.

He was standing in front of the full length mirror in the bedroom section of the loft, wearing nothing but his white Calvin Klein underwear. His hands cupped his stomach, running gently over the bump that was beginning to form there, and he shifted from side to side so he could see himself from different angles. He hadn't noticed it before, but it was there - the evidence of another life growing within him. In a way, it made everything seem so real. This was actually happening. It left him with a warm fuzzy feeling, knowing that his child was there, was healthy, and was growing.

However, that didn't change the fact that he was already starting to gain weight. He'd never been someone who had issues with their weight, although he had been told enough times that with the amount he ate, he should be the size of a house.

Well people, you're about to get your wish, he thought bitterly.

Brian paused in the door way to the bedroom, one hand holding a take out bag of lemon bars from the diner, and watched the half naked blond curiously. Tugging off his jacket to chuck carelessly on the bed and dropping the food bag with it, he approached the young man. He stood behind him, not quite touching him, and caught his eye through his reflection.

"What's the matter, Sunshine?" he questioned.

"Nothing," Justin answered automatically. Brian raised his eyebrow with a look that clearly showed that he was unconvinced. The blond sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "…I'm getting fat."

Brian frowned slightly, feeling a little confused. "You're not fat."

"Yes I am," Justin insisted, "Look at me. My clothes are starting to get tighter and soon enough I'm going to have to buy maternity wear."

"You're not fat," Brian stated lightly. He shuffled closer and slid his arms under Justin's to run his hands over the growing bump. The warmth from the palms of his hands left tingling sensations in their wake, causing goose bumps to rise on his belly. He rested his chin in the crook of the blond's neck. "You're pregnant," he corrected, "It isn't fat, it's our baby."

And he looked amazing, Brian thought. In fact, the swell of his baby bump seemed to make him even more angelic and beautiful. He couldn't seem to keep his hands off the expanse of skin. He continued to make circular patterns with the width of his hand, cupping and caressing the sensitive flesh. It became almost hypnotic - the soothing, repeating motion. Justin stood there silently, leaning back, limp against Brian's clothed chest. His eyes were slightly hooded as he watched, entranced, those beautiful hands reflected in the mirror. Hesitantly, he reached out to place his hands over the older man's. Brian paused sharply at the touch but quickly continued the cycle, this time leading Justin's hands in the thoughtful touch.

From that point onward, it became a daily ritual; a habit that neither men wanted to break. Before work or school, when they got home, when they had some alone time, they would lie in bed, in silence, just gently rubbing the stretched skin. Every day, every week, as their baby grew, the need to just touch Justin's stomach seemed to only increase. After a couple of hours without feeling the bump, Brian began to feel agitated and lost his focus on whatever he was doing - terrible when he had to work, but nothing he could stop and to be honest, he didn't want to stop feeling it. Those moments they would spend together, parents and baby, were some of the happiest minutes of his day, of his life. It was bringing them closer – at least, he hoped it was.

Brian pressed a kiss to his abdomen, next to his belly button. Justin squirmed slightly at the ticklish feeling, but couldn't keep the grin off his face. Brian returned the smile from his place on the bed and continued to rain kisses across the flesh. The blond reached out to twine his fingers into the silky brown hair, gently massaging the scalp. Unable to help himself, Brian release a low groan of pleasure and tightened his firm grip on the milky flesh of his thighs. Justin's breath hitched at the pressure and bit his bottom lip.

Carefully, Brian nuzzled the flesh, running the tip of his nose across the most sensitive parts of his stomach and pressing open mouthed kisses along the obvious grooves in his hips and lower torso. Justin breathed out heavily through his nose and his pupils dilated slightly. His cock twitched in interest.

Shuffling back on his knees and rising up slightly, Brian roughly pulled off the white underwear. Justin lifted his hips to help. He chucked the clothing into a corner of the room and focused his attention fully on the blond beneath him. He nuzzled the area, inhaling deeply and feeling the organ harden and grow against his cheek. Turning his head so he was laying on his hip, he began to trail his tongue along the edge of his cock. His body moving to follow the trail, he licked teasingly at the leaking head and listened to Justin's moan.

"Brian…" he breathed out.

In one swift motion, Brian engulfed the pulsing organ into the wet cavern of his mouth, his tongue wrapping around the shaft. Justin gasped, his body jerking, and his grip tightening in the brunet's hair. He bobbed, pulling up slowly so he could suck harshly on the mushroom head, before taking it all in again. Justin lay on the sheets, whimpering and moaning, shivering when Brian did an erotic pattern with this tongue. Teeth scraped teasingly across the underside of his cock and chills broke out across his skin. His balls tightened, drawing up towards his body.

He was close, so very close, but Brian pulled away with an obscene pop and grinned in his usual tongue-in-cheek way. Justin struggled to calm his shaky breathing. He glared with a little malice down at the mischievous looking man. Unable to form any coherent words at the moment, he thrust his hips upward to convey his point. Brian chuckled huskily at the action and sat up; crawling on his hands and knees to press a heated open mouth kiss to the full lips.

"Be patient, Sunshine," he whispered, "You'll get off."

He reached between their bodies, trailing along the curve of Justin's body, and grasped their cocks, holding to two engorged members tightly together. Their heavy breathing mingled together, Brian's forehead rested against the blond's. With an experimental thrust of his hips, the cocks slid together and they moaned gutturally. Muttering a low curse, Brian raised his hand to lick a strip of saliva across his palm before grasping the organs again. They slide together, the friction delicious and dizzying. The heads nudged together leaving spots of cum on the slick flesh.

A steady rhythm built up between them. When Brian pressed down, Justin would grind up - their hips together firmly, and vice versa. They shared kisses that weren't really kisses; it was like they were breathing hot air into each other, with the random touching of tongues and lips on occasion. Justin whimpered and whined quietly, digging his fingernails into his lover's broad shoulders. Brian gritted his teeth and made growling noises in the back of his throat that vibrated against Justin's lips whenever they touched.

Their orgasms snuck up on them, catching both men by surprise. Justin came first (mostly because of Brian's persistence), with a loud, short cry. His body shuddered as he exploded across the brunet's hand and chest. The fluid heated the area it hit and that was enough for Brian to follow over the edge. His hips jerked roughly and uncontrollably, as he released a gravelled curse. His body became weightless as he collapsed against the weak figure beneath him. He pressed his face against the crook of Justin's neck, pressing kisses and nips to the unmarred skin. Justin turned his head into the brunet's shoulder, eyes closed and hands clasped on his sweating back.

"I fucking love your baby bump," Brian whispered, the soft caress of his thumbs across his abdomen belittling the harshness of his voice.

Justin laughed breathlessly. "Yeah…I think I love it too."

Brian lay spooned up against the blond, every inch of their bodies in contact with each other. He had his face buried in the back of Justin's neck and his arms wrapped around his middle. Neither of them spoke - there was no need to. They were content just being in each other's company.

Today was Justin's six month mark and they had just come back from their appointment with Dr. Luton. The male doctor was delighted to tell them that everything seemed to be fine – both Justin and the baby were in perfect health; their child was developing perfectly. The man had offered to tell the expecting parents the gender of the baby. Although Justin was desperate to know, both he and Brian had already discussed it before hand – they wanted to wait until the birth, wanted it to be a surprise, just like it had been with Gus.

When it happened, it actually shocked Brian. His whole body jolted sharply and he sat up quickly, his eyes darting between his hands and the baby bump. Justin gasped at the sudden pressure, his body curling slightly to protect his stomach as he quickly realised what had happened.

"It kicked," he breathed out happily, "The baby kicked!"

"The baby kicked…" Brian repeated in a low voice.

It happened again, much to Justin's excitement, and he reached out to grab Brian's hand, holding it to his stomach. Brian's hands were shaking - his eyes wide - and when he felt the firm impact against his hand, he let out a nervous laugh and an unbelieving smile crossed his face.

"Hey baby, I'm your daddy," he whispered softly, "I know I'm not going to be the best parent in the world – in fact, I'm almost positive I'm going to fuck it up somehow – but that wouldn't matter because your papa is one of the best men that daddy knows, and I know he's going to take good care of you to make up for my crappy job." He brushed the smooth skin, "God, I can't wait until you get here. You're going to be so fucking beautiful…"

Justin's smile faltered slightly. It wasn't that he wasn't happy with what Brian was saying – he definitely was – but the words left a nauseating feeling in his gut, and brought him to a realisation he had been ignoring for the last six months: he couldn't do this. He couldn't be with Brian like this, seeing this wonderful man and brilliant lover, knowing that they would never be together. The knowledge psychically hurt and he had to blink to hold back the hot tears he knew were about to fall.

He wanted more from Brian - always had - but now, being able to see moments like this…it just made it so much harder to let go. He wasn't going to stop the brunet from being a father, but he couldn't keep allowing himself to get his hopes up by staying with him - knowing that nothing was going to happen between them. He had to leave – to move on - although somehow he doubted that would happen.

He had to do it, for his own sake.

That very statement, that very thought, broke his heart.