My chapters are approximately twelve pages long. It makes me wonder why I can do that with one of my chapters, and yet I know if I were asked to construct a twelve page report, I would be hard pressed to do so. Even if you take into account all the spaces for speech, you would still get...perhaps...seven pages. It appalls me, the power one's imagination has upon them. If only writing reports was this entertaining, huh? Ahh well, I'm taking up your precious time, once again! Let us speed to the story, which is begging to be told! I'm wondering if you all are wondering what I've done this time to our favorite little red-headed boy...I also reveal the second thing that twists Negi's life around into a pretzel in this chapter, so watch out.

Negi almost killed himself! Oi you fool, be more darn careful! You've only got one life yah know!

Must I mention it again? I do not own Negima. If you thought I did, you must have a very vivid and active imagination.

+---+

Chapter Twenty: Bitter Memories

It had been nearly twenty four hours, four minutes short of it in fact, before a groan was issued from a fallen figure on the floor, yet that single sign of life was all Magus needed to punch one of the men next to him dead in the face and point to the downed figure. Even though Magus was an old man, his punch still had quite a bit of weight behind it, and it nearly bowled the other man over. It certainly made a few teeth fall out, not the Magus didn't think he was justified in his action in decking the other one in the face, mind you. Pointing to the downed figure amidst all the crushed ice, his voice nearly made the other men present all go blissfully deaf, yet, unfortunately for them, this was not the case.

"You see! There! He is alive and has now officially won, now would you help me in healing him?!?"

Rules and regulations his foot. These people just did not want to admit that Negi had won. If both of them died, it would have been a tie, and the matter would have been solved in their way, to how they saw fit. Still, unless one of them was alive and the other dead, the fight would continue, and as such, there could be no "assisting" any member of either party. Which meant that for twenty four hours, Magus and Asuna, plus Anya, had worried themselves down to a quick, waiting and watching for some kind of tell tale sign of life from the downed boy. Magus and Asuna had made a deal. Whoever saw Negi move first would get to punch one of the judges and beat the crap out of any one of them they chose. The other would get to pummel Negi when he got a bit better. Magus, needless to say, was happy to relinquish the pummeling Negi part to the woman. Yet, he had more pressing matters to attend to, like the fact that Negi was pushing himself up off the ground, or at least, he was attempting that feat, or Magus thought that was what he had been trying to do. His arms were shaking slightly, and he made another soft groan, but nothing of his body actually moved much. Magus bent and scooped the boy up. He was incredibly light, and yet, all that magical power had come from him. It made Magus secretly marvel, as he relished in the fact that none of those present tried to stop him from carrying the boy out, how magic, how energy, can exist in such a way. Weightless and free, no gravity to bog it down.

A few dozen healing spells later and a gentle clean up at the hands of Asuna saw Negi in a bed at the hotel that had been booked for him, not for the one day it had been advertised to him, but for an entire week. Not that the boy planned on staying that long, just that it was there for him. After trying to move and being picked up by Magus, Negi had become deathly still in his arms, and still was, even as Anya, having been forced to go clean up herself by Asuna, now sat at the side of the bed, watching him with all the more concern coming from her. Asuna came up to her, her illusion having been dissipated by herself a couple of hours ago. Following her was a nurse, who, coincidentally, happened to be the woman they had bumped into earlier. This nurse was the one who had done all the physical healing, and who put Anya on edge, and Asuna too for that matter, as she wasn't sure if this woman knew anything about magic, and assumed it best to keep it under wraps. The only person who seemed to know how to tell was Negi, at least, among the people she knew that were with her. Anya couldn't tell, and she didn't have the training for it. The nurse put a cool hand upon Anya's shoulder.

"Now now, I have no idea what your brother here did to get himself like this, but I can assure you, he'll be alright, it's late, and you should get to bed missy."

"But, I don't wanna leave.."

"Don't worry, if he wakes up, I'll tell you, okay? Now scoot."

Even as Anya left, Asuna plopped down into the seat she had vacated, yet, the nurse placed a hand on her shoulder too. Glancing up, she looked at the blonde woman's face. It had a bit of a pout to it, and she had a bit for Asuna too. Did she think that the little girl was the only one who was over working themselves over this child? Hardly. Not only that, but she knew that this girl was already tightly wound, trying to hide magic from her. She guessed this was the "woman" she had seen earlier. Yet still the nurse did not feel like telling her she knew about magic just yet...

"Oh no you don't I told her to scoot and you come to take her place? Ain't gonna happen. Skedaddle. I'll watch him."

Even as Asuna got up and Left the nurse glanced around, still not comfortable with where she was. Yet still, it was obvious that these girls were wound up, and that, to further the case, they were mages. Oh, it was an obvious thing. A quick stuff of a wand here by the older girl, hiding a staff behind her back like a guilty cookie thief might their captive cookie, the fact that they all had slight auras...well, the older girls was actually quite powerful, and she also reminded her of someone she had seen before...

Then there was the boy.

For some reason, he captivated her. He looked almost exactly like a man she had once known, in fact, he just about matched him to a "t" She grinned at that, but it made her think. It really made her think. How could this boy look so much like him, and yet be just a coincidence. Not even that, but the name, the name was his too. They say that every person has a triple in this world. Was this Negi Springfield number two? It was something that completely stumped her.

Arika Anarichia Ethiofushia? Stumped? It was beyond comprehension for most, yet quite simple for others... She couldn't help but smile at the boy, as much as it made her pine. Hadn't her own son perished in a village fire along with her in laws when he was just a few years old? Yet, if she would imagine her son, no if she were to imagine Nagi's son, this is what he would look like...minus all the enlarged and magically overdriven channels he was displaying. What kind of spell had this kid tried to pull and somehow manage to still survive? A lower mid level storm spell?

Oh the irony of it all...

((Ohh boy.))

+--1--+

"Negi, you're alive!"

"...Well...sure Anya... You expected anything to be any damn different, Asuna-san?"

"I am going to killyou for making us worry like that!"

"As if Swallowthorn didn't try hard enough in that department already, Asuna-san... Give your damn sentiments a rest for once."

He even sounded like him a little bit. All a bit higher pitched do to his youth and a far harsher. His eyes, which she had not seen before, shined with his hue. He was a perfect tiny replica, and it ripped her heart in two to see it. Something made her want to grab him and hold him, but she restrained herself. She had lost her chance of that when she had run away from the village to try and follow Nagi on his hare brained scheme, his mercenary job. By the time she had gotten to London, she had to wait a few months for the gate to the magical world to be fixed, for it had been acting up. Then she had to wait longer, then the price rose. By the time that she had collected enough money for it, word that the entire village where her in laws and son had been living had been burnt to a crisp, and there had been no reported survivors. She had rushed back to the place to have her heart ache at the sight of it. Her son had been one of them, and he was just a baby! If only she had taken him with her instead of thinking him more safe with her in laws! Stone statues of people had littered the entire area, telling her plainly who was responsible. It ate her. After that she had gone back to London, there was nowhere else to go. Rumors had been spreading about Nagi too, being dead, but she could not bring herself to go to the magical world and confirm them. She had to stay away from there. Not because people though her dead, she could easily disguise herself, but because she could not bear to find out it was true. She was already grieving for her lost son. Now this boy showed up to tear down the walls again. She wanted to go somewhere and cry. She had to get out of here, but something stilled her, kept her here. The final piece to the puzzle was added when a cell phone rang, and Negi picked it up.

"Hello."

"Is this Professor Springfield?"

"Yes, this is Professor Springfield. How can I help you?"

No...It can't be! He can't have the same name too! That was an impossibility, the probability of it happening was near nil! Unless...unless it was actually him, not some other person, unless this boy really was....but no, he had died in the flames, don't try and make this look like something you want, look at the facts!...But I am looking at the facts, and what I'm seeing doesn't add up to him being dead, what I see is someone who can only be my son talking on the telephone after nearly getting himself killed by over drawing his magic! Not only that, but he goes by the title "Professor"!

"The hell do you mean I come to London and don't drop in for a visit, I came here on business, not for a picnic!...No, I don't want to see your new girlfriend, it must be the thirtieth one this month for all I remember about you....Oh, so it's only the sixth one since I left, that's an improvement, aren't you proud of yourself now?...What?! Can't you guys teach you own students for once? God damn!"

Although, if he really is my son, he must be what, six years old? How can he speak the way he is? He sounds like he's thirty! Not only that, but he has an aura! A powerful one at that, although nothing like Nagi's... but it's still pretty impressive, Nagi would be proud of his son...

"Excuse me one second."

Negi looked over at Arika, his face a bit perplexed. True that she had disguised herself and changed her appearance well over the years, yet still, the bond between a mother and their child is one that seems to superseded all logic. Yet, Negi was not looking at this woman like that, he was wondering why she was staring at him the way she was. He cleared his throat and her head snapped up to his eyes.

"Hello there. I never got you name. Mind telling it to me?"

A child asking their mother for their name, it's so formal seeming now. Yet, I can't say anything...not yet anyway, not until I am one hundred percent sure.

"It's Arika...just Arika..."

Negi had hung up by now and tilted his head a bit to the side to examine her. His next statement was not a question.

"You are a mage."

So caught, she could only nod. It figured that he would know that much. Asuna and Anya though, seemed to let loose an internal guard, and she knew the two would be more relaxed around her from now on, knowing they did not have to hide the existence of magic from her. It made her wonder why they could not have told themselves. If Negi could, why couldn't they?

"Well Miss Arika...."

"It's just Arika."

"Okay then, Miss Just Arika then if you want....Arika. I am, as you probably already know from my companions over here, Negi Springfield. I'd say thanks for the care you've given me, but I have a feeling you want something, or know something, by the way you keep staring at me."

Sharp. Unbelievably sharp. Almost like what some used to call me. Well, I can't let him shatter my hope, so I can't let him tell me where his real mother is just yet. Two can play at this game for now...

"Nothing. I just want to make sure you are still okay. Do you mind if I tag along with you all where you all are going? I was under the impression from that phone call of yours that you were going to visit somewhere...as for my knowing something...you look kinda like someone I used to know, what can I say?"

"...I have a feeling that's not all. Ehh, who the heck cared anyway. I could eat a whole bloody cow right about now...oh, bullocks… didn't mean to startle you there, but that's my mouth, shooting off the way it does, you'll get used to it by tomorrow..."

+--2--+

He looks just like him, but he's so different...and now that I think about it, he has my eyes, or at least, the same general shape. He has Nagi's color all the way however...

Arika was torn. After the trip to Negi's old stomping grounds, where the four of them feasted eyes upon a bronze statue that had been erected at the front in his image, something Negi did not much appreciate, for the simple fact that he was not dead yet and his service not yet fulfilled, and something he took the mickey out of several teachers for, I might add, they had visited the labs, in which an overly affectionate woman had lifted Negi up, and was scolded by Negi, as he was not a baby but a former co-worker. negi had stood around educating a couple students and returning fire on several jibes from people wit barbs of his own. He was right at home here, and Asuna, along with the others, felt a bit left out as they saw Negi integrate seamlessly into a community he seemed to have hardly left, throwing insults and jibes like they were pieces of candy, and having them accepted like gifts from a god. These people obviously were used to Negi's jibes, although they did compliment him on "new material" he spontaneously picked up...some were a bit concerned about his exposed veins, but Negi waved it off, saying he been bitten by some odd Japanese bug just before he left for England...The more she saw of him, the more she wanted to believe herself...Still, as much as Arika wished it true, she could not let herself honestly think that this boy was her child. He was too...perfect. A powerful mage, intelligent, already a magister...he was a grown man in a six year old's body, with a respectable career and all...

Yet, during lunch hours, She saw him sitting alone, staring up at the sky, one hand massaging the other. She approached him and saw, to her surprise, a small, sad smile on his face as he watched the little girl who was with them playing around with other children brought by the people of the campus. It made her wonder if he to, still wanted to laugh and play like they were. How much had he lost, growing up so fast? What kind of things would he never have, now that he was already so deep into the human world of knowledge? Then she heard a floating, mental voice invade her thoughts, mirroring them in a voice that was certainly not her own.

How many days do I do this, internally crying at things I'll never have?

Arika froze and he gaze locked on the boy all the tighter. The ability to read minds was a royal magic, one that she possessed, and had trained, one that she kept locked up to prevent her from going insane, dipping into the minds of others...yet, in order for her to read this boy's mind, just out of the blue like that, he had to be broadcasting pretty strongly. Either that or he could read minds too, but he couldn't...well, if he was her son, of course he could...she hated to eavesdrop, but, she cautiously opened her mind, and accepted the broadcast coming from him.

These kids, they have mothers and fathers, people I teach and work with. They can play while I work, they can think about nothing, do nonsense, ask silly questions, just be...kids. They can be happy for no reason, happy just because they have a mom and dad who loves them and life in their own veins. They hardly have lost anything...except Anya, her father has disowned her after the incident, and her mother was one of those turned to stone that day...She's my responsibility now. I suppose I can try to give her what I never had, to the best of my ability.

An image surfaced in his mind, one that allowed Arika to see the village she had once known. The memory was a powerful one, and it radiated from Negi's min with an overwhelming strength, as if it could swallow a lesser mind whole into the abyss of insanity. Negi's mental fingers came and gripped the edge of that memory, throwing the burning buildings from his mind. It was not a time for him to think about that, why did he keep coming back to it anyway? The past was the past; he should get over it after all, the present, the here and now, was this. His mind replayed the events of the recent battle, allowing an incredibly surprised Arika to see just what spell had nearly killed Negi, not a lower mid level like she had originally thought, but one of the Dark Evagel's favorites, one of the highest single target ice spells in existence. To think he not only had magical power at such a young age, but he could summon a spell of that magnitude, even if it had almost destroyed him! Yet, even as her own thoughts turned to the vampire woman, Negi's mind brought up an image of the same vampire, only in her diminutive form. She could cast that spell with no problem; she didn't nearly explode while chanting it.

Another image was called up; one that caught her heart, for it was Nagi, standing tall and heroic-like, as if posing for a picture. Another picture superimposed upon it, one of Nagi standing with Ala Ruba. Yet, Negi, thinking of these pictures, radiated a fierce, surprising hate.

You... I will surpass you, a person who has little sense and an even smaller sense of responsibility. I still don't know who my mother is, but if she abandoned me the way she did, I can only think she was chasing after you. You, who left her and did not even think of the family you were leaving behind, you who went and probably got yourself killed like they all say. Fool! You led every one of your friends into danger, gaining fame all the way. You let your head get so damn big it couldn't fit through the entrance of a grand ball! In the end, you couldn't even think far enough to protect your own family from destruction. I'm all that's left of your damn "legacy". After this, I'll go talk to the judges for that battle, I still need to collect all the paper work from them. I'll beat their asses while I'm at it to. I'll let Asuna beat my ass if she wants when we get home. In and out, that's all. I'll go back to MY life. I don't need you. I'll say thanks for all the fish to you, only you never even gave me so much as that. Just a microscopic little swimming object that suicidal dive-bombed into a sphere so it's head could explode and die, leaving the genes to mix with the ones inside the sphere. Kamikaze all the way, no wonder humans are so violent, they are born from violence...Oh I wonder what she's doing here...

Arika had not noticed it, but she had been steadily approaching Negi's position ever since she started eavesdropping. She had not done this in a while, and apparently, it showed. To give herself an excuse for coming, she sat down opposite him and engaged in conversation with him, fishing about for something to say quickly and catching a bite quite effortlessly.

"What's with you sitting here all by yourself? You don't feel well?'

"No, I feel fine. I just prefer my solitude, thank you very much."

"That's not very healthy for someone your age."

"Okay. Your point being?"

"Well...I think you'd be a bit happier if you went to play with the other children over there, you look like you are longing to join them."

"...And may I ask who you are for suggesting this? My mother? Mam, I've grown out of such child's play. If I joined them, I would not know what to do with myself. A child's logic is so simple, I wouldn't know how to play, I'm incompatible."

Ignoring the jibe about being his mother or not, Arika tried a different tack. From what she had glanced in her mind, she had no doubts now, now reservations, but he still did, and she could not shatter his world and destroy his trust so soon, she had to gain it, and act like it was a surprise for herself too when Negi discovered the fact. Yet this child was unbelievably sharp, and it was hard to hide anything from him, speaking of which...

"You are, once again, trying to think of a way to say something so that you can continue hiding something from me. The hell is it that you don't want me to find out about you? Or is it that you have so many secrets, it doesn't matter who you talk to, you have to hide something?"

This child was like her father, or herself for that matter, in her prime, debating something. He read people's faces clear as day, and he was as harsh as she had been, on the outside. What must he have gone through, to erect that kind of shield? She had had to kill her own father and rule an entire land...what had he done? It seemed that, while he had all of Nagi's looks, with a small grace of her own, he had all of her inner, more bitter traits, with a small grace of Nagi's. Sighing, she cast her own eyes to settle upon the statue of Negi in the distance, by the campus entrance. He must have done a whole lot for them to put that there, regardless of how much he acted upset in seeing it. Even if he had made a comment the Einstein or the chairperson should be their instead of him, and threatened to kick down the statue, she knew, and had a feeling they all knew, he was only joking, and actually was quite well honored to have it there. Not that it was going anywhere now that it was, not anytime soon anyway. Negi followed her gaze and, quite suddenly, he thought he could see someone else in her, someone he had studied during his quest to learn of his father. Yet, it was gone in a flash, and that woman that had come to mind was long dead. The blonde woman in front of him was not her, and did not look like her, not really. Her head turned a bit back along the way towards facing him, but not all the way, and spoke to him while still gazing at the statue.

"You shouldn't act like that. No matter what kind of pain you've been through, you shouldn't let it control you."

Negi blinked. Really, who was she? To say something like that out of the blue, something she had no right too! He felt like snapping a hard retort at her, but held his tongue, nearly biting it. In all honesty, Negi knew she was right anyway, or at least, in the generic way of someone being right, but Negi clung to the way his lived his life with a passion. He had long given up true happiness as a bad job. He had long sacrificed being carefree for knowledge, had let all his other emotions but hate and anger melt away. Conviction, determination, stubbornness, bitterness, he had made these his emotions. Sorrow, he forced away, it became only fuel for anger. Yet, while this was labeled "wrong" Negi did not want to be, not very particularly anyway, right. There was a small part of him that did care, that did love, that still felt the pain that made him cry invisible tears at night...but everyday he imagined that part of him being smaller and smaller. That was his weakness, he said to himself, and he would get rid of it. All logic told him that him trying to force away his feelings and eradicating them was his actual weakness, that those who are truly strong are not afraid to feel their sadness and their pain... yet, Negi, at this point, said "screw you, logic."

"...Once again, who are you? You don't think I know that? I just don't care. I want to let my pain control me. It's the only thing that reminds me I'm not a mindless zombie. Thanks for your...concern."

Negi snapped his fingers, intending to make a glass that was situated about a foot from his hand jump into it, but the glass did not move. Frowning, Negi cast a glance at it and tried again. It still did not move. It was as if it was saying to him: "Pick me up yourself you lazy bum." Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed it with his hand, staring at it before taking a swing of the tea it had in it. Putting it back down on the table, he again tried to make it jump up. Still, it did not budge. Arika, noticing this, laughed at him a bit.

"You really have no idea why your magic won't work don't you?"

"No...No I do not. Do you?"

"Of course, but that's doesn't mean I'll tell you. You won't listen to me, so figure it out for yourself."

Negi narrowed his eyes, looking at her face with a kind of scrutiny that made her think he was about to try and paint her. She felt him reach for his mental acuity, a royal magic, the ability to divine upon other's thoughts, yet, even as Arika prepared to parry him, he let it go, as if thinking better of it. Still, she could tell from the quick way he snatched up the skill, similar to how a swordsman would quickly snatch up a fallen pike, that, while he was familiar with the tool and could use it, it was fleeting to him, and he had no real solid training in it. He had an incredible amount of power to it, being that he had a very intelligent mind and strong will, but, with no formal training, he was relatively useless in the art, making it nothing but an extension for him...he had no idea the true, devastating power it could hold...Still, as she tentatively used her own art again to divine upon him, she saw he was using his powerful mind for something else, problem solving.

If I can't use magic, there must be a reason. I can still feel the aura's of magical individuals, I can prove that by realizing this woman in front of me has magical power, so I have not lost my magical skill...but my magic? I can't feel it. No, I can feel it, I think, but what I feel can't be my magic, it's like a rock, it's still, there is no movement. It's as if there is something that has filled the channels my magic travels along with cement, and then let it harden, blocking them. Proverbial scar tissue perhaps? Maybe, in expanding my channels so much, nearly killing myself, I damaged my ability to draw and hold magic severely, and as a result, the existing channels are full of this "scar tissue" rendering them useless, as if I have none, but then, I can't use magic at all, how would I be able to feel auras? No, aura sensing is not actually magic; it's a sense, like tasting. It's a trained skill...

Like Arika thought, he was a sharp boy, yet what he was thinking was not quite the answer, although incredibly close. She decided to motivate him into speaking with her, and force him to play a game at the same time.

"How about this, we'll play hot or cold."

"Hot or cold?"

"You tell me what you are thinking, and I'll tell you if you are close, which would be hot, or far off, which would be cold."

"....That's just so..."

"Childish? Aren't you a child?"

"Okay Madam, fine. I'll play your game, even though I know It would put me at the complete mercy of you and you could easily lead me off track..."

"Would I do that to you?"

"I would not put it past you. I don't put much past anyone unless I am one hundred percent sure. I wouldn't put it past Anya to stab me in the back five times and rake my eyes out, but is that a probable thing? Maybe not, but I still wouldn't put it past her."

".....You really are a bitter little boy....."

"Yep. Okay then. What I'm thinking is that my magical channels and the hypothetical "tank" which I can store magic with in my body have been filled with "scar tissue" because of what I forced them to do, and thus, magic cannot flow through them, making them useless until the "tissue" clears out."

"Hmm...pretty warm."

"So, theoretically speaking, I will not be able to use magic for months."

"Cold there."

"Okay. How's about never?"

Ohh, that would be a big blow to his pride, fighting so hard and then finding out he can't use magic anymore because of it. That would be terrible. The thousand master's son, unable to use magic, a regular Harry Potter squib! Yet, he was, thankfully, wrong, although Arika could never be so sure with a case like Negi, he had come insanely close to killing himself.

"That would be terrible, wouldn't it? Nope, you're ice cold."

"Not all that terrible, my magic gives me so many problems, sometimes I wish I were a simple mundane. Okay, my magical channels need to repair themselves, so they filled themselves with scar tissue so I would be unable to use magic until they repair."

"Warmer than before..."

"Not there yet huh? Okay. That kind of problem might be easier to deal with, I suppose a month or too might be the title for me being unable to use magic."

"You're still the same temperature."

"Okay, so I got nowhere with that...now that I think about it, scar tissue, while a nice term, probably won't be able to completely block the channel. Obscure it yes, but not cut the flow, unless I've got high magical cholesterol."

That got a small smile out of Arika, but she held firm to her game and gave Negi his temperature.

"You're nearing hot."

"Okay, so forget about the scar tissue then. My magical channels collapsed due to the strain I put on them, and until I can re-open them, I'm stuck.

Negi kind of lost some and gained some here, but the amount he lost was not quite equal to the amount he gained, so Arika would have to guess he was warmer than before...but not by much.

"Kind of hot..."

"Did they simply just close down for repairs then, like some kind of sewer line?"

"....I suppose you've got it. Hot. Your channels are closed for maintenance so to speak, and they'll probably shrink back down and grain the strength to re-open."

"Shrink back down, does that mean they could possibly wind up smaller than they were before?"

"Of course, you over expanded them and your "tank", they need to shrink back down, that's why they closed, so you could not take in magic."

Negi raised one eyebrow over the other and his head turned enough to the side again. He only spoke after a few seconds of deliberation.

"That's not what I feel. What I feel are channels full of...I suppose magic, that won't flow because it has nowhere to go. Is it possible for my channels to have stayed open long enough for me to regenerate my magic, filling them up before closing?"

"...That's not normally the case...but I suppose it could be...possible?"

"Madam, I am never a normal case for anything. I can feel my magic, so I must have something in there...and it's stiff and unmoving, meaning the channels are full of it, not a small amount just swirling around. I'm guessing I was quite near death, so close to it my body had to focus all of it's attention on keeping my alive...so much so that it allowed the new, expanded channels and magical "tank" to fill up before it shut them down for maintenance so to speak. Meaning when they decide it's time to reopen, they'll be the same size I made them grow to, allowing me to continue more conventional training methods, or, be crazy enough to try a stunt like that again, not that I will, mind you."

When Negi had mentioned trying a stunt like that again, Arika had paled, and thought back to how much of an idiotic daredevil his father was, and wondering if he had inherited that trait, regardless of how intelligent he seemed at first glance...and even though his statement was meant to bring her a measure of comfort, she still could not help but think about it and fix Negi with an odd look. Negi, seeing it, laughed.

"You really do think you're my mother or something. What's with the look woman?"

Oh if only he knew.

+--3--+

"Thank you and no, I don't ever want to see your face again."

Saying it in a singsong voice, Negi practically skipped off to the side to let another person receive something from the man who had been assigned to give out these papers. Sliding them carefully into an envelope, Negi realized that whomever owned the name on these papers practically owned Anya until she was of legal age to go off on her own. It was an odd thought, thinking of the girl like an object in his name. He was her practically her parent now, which was an odd thought, considering she was older than him, but then again, how different was it from being the teacher of a room full of girls over twice his age? Everywhere Negi went he seemed to be too young to fit in, and yet, among people his age, he was to mentally old to fit in. It made him recall a numerous amount of books where the character had quite a case of identification disorder and could not find where the hell he or she fit in the whole damn world, and ended up killing themselves. Yet, here he was, still clinging to life even though one could argue he was currently guilty of a suicide attempt himself, and should be chucked in the loony bin. No, instead they had given him the papers to be a legal parent of a child. What was this world coming to?

Keeping his morbid thoughts to himself, Negi felt sorry for the judges who had been in his panel, for they had already high tailed it out of the place as soon as it was apparent Negi was alive, fearing perhaps, his or Magus's wrath. Magus assured Negi that he had at least decked two of them in the face with a magically enhanced fist and gave another one hell with a conflagration spell, he claimed each punch was for either what they had made Negi or Anya go through, and the conflagration spell was for the guy who had set Swallowthorn up against Negi. Speaking of whom, Negi had gone to check the place he had battled her. Squeaky clean. They had wiped all trace of the ice and the tiny frozen shards of human remains from the face of the earth, even though they had been content to let Negi lie face down in the ice for just about twenty four hours, now that he was gone, hey, they can't just leave this mess here for someone to see, can they? Appearances! Negi walked to the middle of the engraved circle and then off to the side, until his mind told him that he had reached the spot Swallowthorn had been standing when she got hit. He moved a bit further, until he was about a foot away and then turned to face the opposite direction she had been, and knelt down to the ground, as if to kneel by her feet had she still been there. Negi never had really taken religion very seriously, but he made the sign of the cross now, slowly and carefully, and there was no trace of a smirk or a jibe on his face, it was solemn. He placed a single rose where her feet would have taken up the ground. Casting his head so his eyes saw the floor, he closed them and sat there for awhile, not thinking, but actually, for once, praying. Footsteps interrupted him, and he glanced up to see the figure of another woman standing by the door, looking at him.

"You, of all people, shouldn't be here."

Negi didn't move, he didn't even speak, not at first. His mind sought for the name to attach to the figure, and when he had collected the name, it took him a surprisingly long time to formulate a sentence.

"Miss Cierra. Don't think, not for a single second, that I...enjoyed...killing your partner. She was about to try to kill Anya to save herself, and I was in the heat of battle...while that is no excuse for what I did, it was either kill her or be killed by her. My initial plan was to tire her until she fell unconscious and then perhaps plea for her sake to the judges, who obviously seemed to favor her more than I. My anger...got the better of me."

The woman came up closer to him, and she crossed her arms in front of her. Her face wasn't particularly sad, but it had a kind of depression hanging about it. Her steps were heavier than they should have been.

"It's not the I blame you for it, I do, but I shouldn't, it was a battle. I just never thought she could lose to you. Never. You were a no-one to me, if you died, what did I care? I never looked at it the other way...yet here you are, praying for her. We wouldn't have given you a second thought you know."

Negi blinked. He didn't doubt that. He appreciated her honesty however, but there were many people who wished Negi dead, and if he did die, they would be very happy to get that news. It did not surprise him in the least, nor did it shake him any. He looked back down at the rose he had placed and slowly stood up, leaving it there.

"I have respect for those who have passed, Madam Cierra, and I know that this woman, regardless of how she may have acted if she were in my place, had a family and friends, like yourself. I know that I have taken a life, and that is a sin against my soul, even if I don't care about it, it is still a sin. I am simply addressing and accepting that fact, and making peace with it. It doesn't matter if I don't give a damn or even know who she was. It shouldn't matter. I should still give respect where it is due. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go and get some papers laminated, and then I'm going to go pack for Japan. I doubt you will see me again, so I wish you well in your endeavors, Miss Cierra."

Turning his back to her, he left her there, standing next to where he had been, staring at the rose as it's stem shivered slightly in the wind brought by his retreating feet, and it's blood red petals full and in vibrant display, showing that it was a rose picked while in full bloom, not like the ones that were popular, being just about to peek open. She could only stare at it and think about what the kid had said. A child had just displayed more decency than Swallowthorn had ever shown towards her opponents. Swallowthorn was about power, about fun, about living life for the moment, but what happened when someone like this showed up and defeated her? It seemed that, to her, the boy was a gentlemanly black hole, sucking up more and more darkness while his outside manner remained thoughtful and perhaps even kind. One day, the collected darkness would burst forth, and he would become a monster, but none who face him would have the power, or the will to destroy him, he had been to kind in life. Yet, she did not know him, so she could not verify this claim she was making into the air, she could only think and stare. Bending down, she picked up the bright rose and brought it to her nose. It's slight scent escaped, telling her it had either been freshly picked or magically preserved. It was slightly wet, as it having just been watered. She couldn't help but think back to her partner now, and, as Negi's footsteps faded into the distance, Cierra took her place, the place Negi had just vacated and, mimicking him, taking his example to heart, she too, prayed for the soul she had known, and had lost.

Only the whisper of the wind was heard over the silent prayers to a deities ears, and if you believe in such a thing, you might think that Negi had calmed an eternal soul into peace, and had refreshed and revived the spiritual fortification of another....

+--4--+

Negi carefully took the wand from the box Magus was holding out. It had taken him awhile to accept it, but finally, he had, after he realized that the old man was simply not going to take no for an answer. Negi looked at it, inspecting it from every conceivable angle, as if looking for flaws, but in actuality, he could only gaze upon it in awe. It was about eighteen inches long and around an inch and a half thick at its thickest end, and around a half or third inch at the tip. Made of a very young redwood, it had a beautiful red-pinkish hue that the resin paste glazed over its polished length made glow. Because the wood that had made it was young, it was springy, but was still quite strong and resilient due to its thickness. Magus tapped it's thick end, making it slide a bit in Negi's hands, and almost but not quite making it poke one of his eyes. Apparently, it had a core of some substance or other that Magus did not know, but Negi would probably be able to find out anyway with a bit of testing. This, along with his certificate, was what Negi had long been aiming for all along, for this type of wand proved that he was, indeed, a fully fledged Magister.

Even though he already had HeartBreaker, he knew that to employ that in an actual magical battle greatly tipped the scales in his favor, and he may not always want to do that in every case, nor could he always control his emotions and prevent HeartBreaker from activating it's potent effect. Not only that, but between teaching Asuna magic and now having Anya on board, who no longer had her own wand, it was impeccable that he either buy one of the star wands or accept this gift and let Anya train with his own star wand. Not all Magisters accepted the gift, and many preferred to stick to their star wands after using them for so many years, or used it as a backup and accidentally broke it sometime or other... but Negi had no such sentimental attachment to his wand, and had hardly had it a long while before finding HeartBreaker, after all. His connection was with that, and that was no sentiment, as that weapon was destined to be held by him, and him alone.

Negi twirled it about in his fingers to get a feel for the new wand. There was a rubber grip that had been slid on near the end, but the wand was a bit thick and quite a bit long to hold at the end like that, so he adjusted the grip to where he could hold it better, sliding the stretched rubber to a place where it could still hold on tightly and not slip off the wand, and yet by more comfortable for him to grip. Experimentally, he swung it in a high arch and then slashed it down viciously like one would a two handed axe upon a tree stump. It made little sound as it traveled, but there was still that tell-tale swish. Good, he didn't want a wand that fan-fared it position in the air anyway. Most people loved that swish, but he could live with it being muted if it could save his life one day. Anya, who was with him along with Asuna and Arika, had her sapphire eyes locked straight upon the motion of the wand. It was so different from the ones they gave to magical students, ones available in the supply shops. Those had an encasing of bark, for they were typically the thinner branches broken off the tree, and they had tiny holes drilled in them to make room for whatever they stuffed in there before filling them back up and sealing them off. The star was to help the flow of magic for the young user, but something like this...this could hold more magic in it and yet still was easier to store and much less obvious to the unfriendly eye. With it, the little boy looked almost...complete in a way.

"Ha, why don't you try casting a spell with it, ehh mister Magister?"

"Oh, no, I want to save that for later Magus. I want to give my magic a bit of rest after the work out I gave it with Swallowthorn, if you don't mind. I think it needs it."

"No doubt...you very nearly killed yourself there boy..."

"That past is past Magus, don't dwell on it, that's what I keep telling myself, yet I keep coming back to a certain event in my own life. Don't let the image of me splayed out on a field of frozen snow be your scene to dwell on, I don't want to leave you with that kind of memory. You're too old for that."

"Ha, I'm still strong enough to kick someone's keaster, don't let me start on you boy."

"Fine, fine. I give, I'll say Uncle before you even start."

A bit later, Negi found himself upon the ledge of a local bridge, peering out into the quickly darkening sky. It was gusting a bit tonight, so Negi's front bangs were all but plastered to the top of his head, as the wind didn't let them stay down for even a few seconds. Negi took a breath of salty air and continued to gaze at the skyline, watching as slowly, ever so slowly, the lights in the various apartments and houses within his vision popped on. In his left coat pocket, his hand massaged his new wand or, occasionally, tested the stiffness in his leg with a quick clench under sensitive fingers. This was one of the rare times when Negi's vast mind was at rest, and completely, utterly, blank, void of all thought as he simply looked upon the landscape in front of him and accepted it. Off to the side, just within the range of his ears, laughter could be heard, as some children played in a local park, and yet, that sound was dwindling as mothers and older brothers beckoned to the laughing mass, calling their own charges away for the trip home. Someone passed behind Negi, on his way home perhaps, after a long day's good work, looking forward to the weekend. In his bones, Negi could feel that rain would soon be coming, and then, it would lighten until it became the fine mist London was so famous for, the London Fogs.

Yet through it all, as he sat there simply opening himself to the workings of the world and letting it wash over him without a care, behind him, just a distance away, on the other side of the bridge, sat his mother, unbeknownst to him, just...just watching him. She watched as his bangs flared in the winds, watched a single antenna like strand of it stayed stubbornly up no matter how much the wind forced it back down, she watched as his head slowly tilted to the left side, not in thought, but simply giving in to gravity. The slow, rhythmic rise and fall of his shoulders showed how his small body was moved by such a simple thing as his breathing, and thin legs attached to tiny feet dangled, swaying along with the soft wind. This...this was hers. Her baby was sitting there, and he did not even know...and she was afraid to tell him. Afraid of what he might do, or say, afraid of the angry tide that would rise in him when he set eyes on the woman that had abandoned him for all these years and left him to fend for himself against all the demons and enemies, against all the bad dreams and memories. Bitter memories. It killed her that she could do nothing. Here she was, she, who had been willing to risk her life and face execution to save the land under her dominion, she who had been willing to risk everything, and here she was. Arika, Queen of Calamity, was afraid to tell her own son that his mother was here, and ready to fill the position she had wrongfully left all those years ago. Once more, her body moved with a mind of its own as she slowly stood and approached him, only, even though she was sure she had not given the order, was sure she was not ready for this, her body was indeed, following her heart's desire. Once she got to the other side, Negi glanced up, his face expectant. it seemed to have written on it: You again? We keep bumping into each other, ehh? He had expected it to be her, had heard her come, and had glanced up at the right time to see her face. His hand flashed out, and from it, he caught a single tear.

"Oh hell, what are you crying for, woman? Or are you going to give me the same bullshit I once told someone, that you got something in your eyes?"

She didn't look at him, but stared ahead, allowing her hands to grip the ledge he was sitting on as she stared out at the river they were standing over. She allowed the same wind playing with Negi's hair to lift her light locks up and out, creating streamers behind her as she watched, It was Negi's turn to watch her now, and he allowed his eyes to travel along the path of that floating sheet, not unlike Anya's eyes had traveled to follow his wand. He could tell that, once again, this woman was trying to say something, only this time, her pause was not an attempt to say something while hiding something else, but it was an attempt to speak all the truth. Negi took a deep breath in and waited. Something told him he had to wait here. When she finally spoke, he voice was softer than if normally was, and it had a different tone.

"When I first saw you, bumped into you, in the street, I thought you looked so much like someone I once knew. Someone, a man, I loved."

Silence. That was what came from Negi. Silence ready to swallow the words she spoke into the void that he was. His mind flashed again, the image he had seen before, the image of the Queen of Calamity. She didn't look like her exactly, kind of like you knowing a person isn't your brother. They have the same hair style and the same height, but you just know this person in front of you is not your brother. Yet still, the image was more powerful now, and stuck. For some reason, Negi's mind was building up a funny feeling, one that said the man she had loved was Nagi Springfield, but that, that was not so odd. A lot of people idolized him. Her next sentence blew his mind though.

"A man named Nagi Springfield, who's child I carried and named, as we wished, Negi."

Negi quite literally fell off the ledge he was sitting on, allowing the wind to sweep his legs from under him, almost falling into the river if it were not for his quick reflexes and the decorative spaces that the ledge of the bridge had, allowing him to thrust his thin arm through and grab hold. It was only his presence of mind that kept his hand holding on. Not that he his mind had not been building up to the conclusion she had just blurted out, just that his mind had slowly built up to the conclusion she had just thrown at him, and he was simply not ready for it, for once, his mind had been as slow as a snails. Arika, showing magic for the first time, did not even speak, but extended her hand quite hurriedly towards him, easily lifting him with an odd form of magic he didn't know and making him land safely on the sidewalk. Negi instantly went into denial mode.

"The hell woman, you almost made me guilty to two suicide attempts in one week! God damn! Next time you've got a lie, think of something more plausible, and less...random!"

Negi may have launched a barb at her, but Arika, expecting it, did not get hurt by the statement, much. Still, she was adamant. Taking a risk, she formed a barb of thoughts, using the royal magic Negi was untrained in, divining upon another mind, and thrusting her own thoughts at Negi in an attack meant to make him reel, but not render him crazy or anything. Negi, untrained for such a thing, absorbed the punch without a reel, but Arika could tell he was only acting like he did not notice the sting she had sent him. He was like a person playing mercy, screwing their teeth but not allowing themselves to show pain or say mercy. The thoughts she sent his way had more than one purpose however, they were memories of Nagi and her, times she spent with Negi as an unborn child, little sentiments that made the boy heave. He proved to be a quick study, formulating many thoughts of his own into a clumsy projectile of thoughts to launch her way. It was a large and powerful show, but it was slow and sloppily made, Arika managed to easily swat it away. She could tell nothing useful was in the clump anyway, so clumsily the thing was made, still, managing to perform the task after only seeing it done once was an incredible achievement.

"So, you can sense other's thought's too. Is all of this trash you just sent my way real or imaginary?"

"You can tell, you don't need me too."

"Oh I don't know, I can make some pretty convincing false memories myself, who knows is I didn't get the skill from my self-proclaimed mother?"

"You know."

"......."

"Negi....?"

The boy didn't say anything for what seemed to be an eternity, before, finally, he spoke.

".......Yes. Yes, I know. Hell if I believe myself though. Where the hell have you been?"

+--FIN--+

Holy....didn't I just give you all a chapter yesterday?! Yes, I did, but here I am again, somehow pulling this off, a chapter. It's longer than usual, which is odd and I suppose something of an unconscious response to Dragon, and, if I do say so myself, I like it. For once, I like it. I hope it was a good chapter for you all too. Tell me what I need to work on still because I know I am not perfect over here. Oh, and I'm leaving my poll up there until it gets at least fifty votes, meaning you all still have plenty of time and still a huge shot to change the tide of the current votes. Remember, you can chose up to four choices. Don't think that just because Eva's winning you can't come from behind. Every vote counts. Not only that, but I was just visited by an Evangelist. Too bad they didn't know I already know quite a bit about religion, thank you. (No she didn't get me during the part where Negi was praying, she got me after it, don't think it affected the story! They got my during the time right after Arika had come up to Negi.) Although, I don't agree with how she explained Christianity to me quite exactly. Ahh, yet, how many of you want to listen to me talk about my life and my encounters? Very few I'm sure. Hi ho! Next time!