It's that time of year again! YAY! Kids are back in school, so that means I get a few hours every day to write—if I'm not working that day. I'm hoping to get the chapters done quicker so they can be looked over by my amazing beta, and then posted to you a lot sooner. Hope you continue to enjoy!

I had fun writing this one. I laughed a lot, which I needed. I must give credit to some genius meme makers out there! I took quite a few I've seen here and there and used them in this chapter to what I hope is in honor of their hilarity. Some were from me, some from my husband, but most from others comic talent. I could never take recognition for others gifts. In this case it's next to impossible to find the original creator, but I wanted to say right off the bat I recognize and appreciate their ability to find humor in literally almost anything. So a big thanks to those brilliant funny minds.

Oh if you're looking for my Pinterest page, yeah it's a pain to find because FF won't let me post the whole link. So just look for a board named 3000 Miles, and look for a background picture of Marilyn Monroe in a light blue dress, looking at a flower she is holding. That is my board for this story. If you still can't find it, message me and I'll give you another way to find it.

Chapter 21

CPOV

It's the beginning of September which means school is starting. Mia and Ana are excited to start and are anxiously awaiting the arrival of Pearl, who'll be Mia's roommate in the dorms. Ana has opted to finish her final semester through an online class so she can stay here with me.

"What time does Pearl's flight get in?" We're in the kitchen having a bite to eat and some coffee.

"About eleven o'clock. I figured after we pick her up we could go to lunch or something and then see if there's anything else she may need once we get her and Mia settled in the dorms. What do you think?" Ana's eyes are sparkling, and it's obvious she's really excited.

"I think it's a great idea, just so long as you take Luke and John with you."

She approaches me smiling. "Don't I go everywhere with my shadow? Of course they'll be with us."

I kiss her on her cute as a button nose. "Good, I just wanted to make sure. Jason should have security for her and Mia by this evening."

"Just let me know what you want to do for dinner— here or out."

"Yes, Ma'am!" I say giving a mock salute.

"Easy there soldier…" She laughs as she hugs me. "Well, well, well…seems you're not the only soldier saluting me this morning!" She pats my crotch as she speaks.

"Ana…be careful…neither of us will be leaving this place today if you don't stop."

"Okay, well if you don't want my hands all over you, I understand." She's pretending to be affronted, but I know she's loving every second of teasing me.

"You're still rubbing my dick, Miss Steele."

"Look at that! So I am, Mister Grey."

"Just remember darlin'; you asked for it!" I say as I lift her up and swing her over my shoulder.

"Christian! Put me down!" She's laughing so hard she can barely speak.

"Nope, never. You'll be seeing me off to work this morning." Using the intercom, I tell Taylor I'll meet him downstairs in thirty minutes. I then head for the elevator with my future wife in tow. Once the doors close, I place her down gingerly. She's still giggling and breathing hard. I hit the button that makes the elevator stop, and grabbing Ana by her hips, I roughly push her against the doors and proceed to kiss her hard, my hands and tongue taking possession of what is mine.

She responds instinctively and is kissing me back as she makes quick work of my pants. I find her breasts with my lips and push her bra down enough to expose those perfect orbs to me. I place little bites on her nipples driving her crazy. As I feast on her body, I unbutton her jeans and yank them down. She helps them along and gets them off completely. I lift her up and wrap her legs around me as I rip her panties off and sink into her heat in one fluid movement. Our love making is fast and rough. I decide this is the best way to start my day. The best part of waking up isn't "Folgers in my cup", it's Ana on my cock.

When we finish fucking, we're both breathing rapidly and chuckling. "I guess I deserved that, huh?" She asks.

"Nope— I did." My reply cracks us both up. After a few more kisses and several 'I love you's', Ana retrieves her jeans and puts them back on. She then adjusts her shirt and bra as I use the now destroyed panties to wipe myself up. I decide to keep them in my pocket as a memory of this awesome morning. After we're both presentable again, I resume the elevator. When we reach the garage, we stand by the SUV saying our goodbyes for the day and await Taylor's appearance.

When he arrives, Ana heads back inside, and Taylor and I head to my other love—my business, GEH.

APOV

Well that was completely unexpected, but oh so wonderful!

I love moments like that—just raw animal lust. It makes me fall more in love with him every time. Of course I have to go wash up again, but it's worth it. I'll never complain about being made love to especially when Christian acts like a caveman, and I'm his cavewoman. I've never had such a satisfying relationship in my life.

Pearl is arriving today, and I'm excited and happy, but can't help but relieve the nightmare of the accident over and over again. I believe I saw Ruby pass away, but the doctors said I must have been in shock. I'm still haunted by nightmares and all the what-if's: what if I had been in the car with Kate and Elliot? Would they have died, or would it have been me? What if I did die, how would Christian be right now? If Ruby survived, would she and I be as close as I think we would've been? Would my family even care if I died? Would my father have come to my funeral?

Thankfully, my slow descent into madness is interrupted by Mia and Kate arriving. We're going to pick up Pearl at the airport, followed of course by 'My Guys'—my new affectionate name for them. Since the crash, John and I have grown close; not surprising since we share this special connection. I've always thought of Luke as my older brother or an uncle- type. But John? John is a true father figure. He's always saying things I imagine all good dads say to their daughters, like: make sure to buckle your seatbelt! You really should wear a sweater young lady, it's getting chilly out now. I love My Guys…

"Ana! How are you?" Mia greets me with a hug, as does Kate. Gail comes in and they greet her the same way. Christian really had no clue what he's got in his employees. They're friends first; they obviously love him. Every mean, cranky, controlling bone in his body.

"I can't believe Pearl is going to be here soon. Time has truly flown by! But since I have you three here, I wanted to talk about the wedding a little before we head to the airport."

"Sure, why don't we head to the kitchen? I'll make a fresh pot of coffee." Gail offers.

After the coffee starts brewing, and we stop chewing the fat for a few minutes, I dive right in. "Okay ladies…I'm going to just put this right out there: I don't want any trashy, cheesy kind of bachelorette stuff. It's really not me, and I wouldn't want to upset Christian. It's a small wedding, so just keep it classy, please."

"I was going to ask you about our dresses, Ana. We really should get them now, but we aren't sure what you want. Shouldn't we plan a shopping trip?" Kate inquires.

"We can, but honestly I'm not the one wearing it. I leave it up to you three to pick whatever you want, what you're comfortable in. All I ask is to keep me updated on your choice or choices if you each want something different. You've basically got free rein."

They look at me almost in shock. Did the bride really just tell us to pick our own gowns?

"What? Can't I say that if I want to?"

Mia stutters out, "Of course, you're the bride—it's your wedding. It's just highly unusual. Usually the bride is a control freak."

"Don't get me wrong, Mia; I will be crazy about certain details. However I can't stress about everything. I trust you all—you have great taste. I'm positive I will love anything you pick."

"Hallelujah!" Gail screams jokingly, which makes us all laugh. "Okay, Ana. We need to know some of the details so we can pick accordingly."

"That's true…sorry I've been so quiet about it. We're just so afraid of word getting out and possibly getting to Elena."

"We understand dear, but you know you can trust us." Gail has wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"You're right, Gail. Okay, and I'll fill you in on what's definite so far. It's on the smaller side because we want to keep it as low key as possible. Oh! The invitations are going out this week. They are really pretty. Simple but different. The actual invite has at the top of it a cityscape of Seattle. We opted to not have the RSVP cards because it would draw attention as well. So the invitation is all that's going out. It has all the information on it; the where, when, reception following, and an email account Christian asked Barney to set up for responses."

"Simple, understated elegance. I love it!" Kate says while practically jumping out of her seat. No more caffeine for her!

We discuss things for several more minutes before we're interrupted by Luke. He's here to inform us it's time to go to the airport. The four of us ladies split up—half with Luke and half with John. When we arrive, Luke and I go inside alone to meet her at baggage claim. We check the screens to see if her flight landed and which carousel the flights' luggage will be on.

We head to the first area, and there she is; pale, scared, and all alone.

"Pearl!"

She sees me, and instantly bursts into tears."Oh, Ana! I'm so glad to see you!" She hugs me tight and cries into my shoulder. I just hug her back and let her cry. I know this can't be easy for her, leaving her family, missing her sister, and being in a strange city basically only knowing me. When she's calmed down, she lifts her head up and releases me. Luke hands her some tissues.

"I'm sorry, I feel like an idiot crying so much…" She wipes her eyes and blows her nose.

"Don't apologize, sweetie. I understand. We all understand."

"We? All?"

"Yes. I've brought Mia, your roommate and Christians' baby sister; and Kate and Gail, two of my closest friends. Along with Luke and John. You remember John, right?"

"Yes, of course! He was such a nice guy to me. Very kind."

"Good! Yes, he is a really decent man…come, let's get your bags and get out of here. We are all taking you to a celebratory lunch before we head to the dorms and get you both settled."

A smile slowly forms on her face and I think she's finally warming up and feeling more herself. Luke carries her luggage for her and I wrap my arm around her as we make our way to the garage where our vehicles are. Introductions are made swiftly so we can head to the restaurant; we can bond over food, alcohol and chocolate!

Of course when we arrive to the eatery—Christian owned and approved—they are more than ready for us. We are whisked right off to a secluded table where there are fresh flowers and chilled wine waiting for us. We sit in the comfortable large booth and peruse the menu. We all decide to get something different so we can share and try as many different things as possible. John and Luke are seated at a smaller table close by. After we place our orders, I get the waiter's attention.

"Yes, Ma'am, what can I do for you?"

"Evan, correct?"

"Yes, Ma—"

"Please don't call me ma'am! I'm not even thirty years old yet!" He chuckles and agrees. "Ana, please. Just call me Ana…listen, see that older gentleman in our party over there?"

"Yes, Ana."

"No matter what he offers you or says, do not let him have any salt! He's watching his blood pressure."

"I see! Okay, no problem…I'll go remove the salt shaker from the table immediately."

"Thanks Evan! I appreciate it!" I can't help but crack up at John's face when the salt is taken away from him. He thought he could sneak it, the bastard! We all look at him with wine in hand, and smiles on our faces. In unison we chime, "Per una buona salute!" (To good health)

"Et Tu' Brute?" He looks pained as he mimics being stabbed in the chest. We can't help but laugh at him. "Keep it up, Missy! I'll be 'Shatnering' you when you least expect it!" Of course, this makes us just laugh harder.

"John, you know I love you; I'm just trying to keep you around as long as possible."

"I know, sweet girl; I love you too. An iníon mé riamh go raibh." (The daughter I never had.)

"Wait—what's 'Shatnering' mean?" Asks a confused yet amused Pearl.

We spend several minutes explaining the game along with movie trivia to her, and laughing uncontrollably. We then discuss the wedding again and I ask Pearl if she'd consider being the 'director' of sorts, she gleefully accepts.

"Oh, Ana—before I forget…let me give this to you now." She pulls a sketch book from her large handbag. "My parents found this. It's one of Ruby's design books. All the jewelry she wanted to make or did make started out as a drawing in one of her notebooks. This is just one of several, but my entire family agreed; we want you to have it."

That does it—I'm instantly crying. I hug her as Luke and John rush over to check on me. I assure them I'm fine, but they contact Taylor anyway—who in turn will tell Christian. I expect him to come barreling through the doors in under thirty minutes.

I can't help it, I'm extremely touched at being given this priceless gift: a true remembrance of Ruby and what a talent was taken so cruelly from this world. So now I'm crying and angry at Elena. Jeez my emotions are all over the map right now!

"I'm sorry, Ana; I didn't mean to upset you."

I shake my head violently. "You didn't, I swear. I'm so thrilled to receive this. I'll treasure it, always." We hug again and look through the book showing off the amazing pieces she's designed over the years. You can tell how good she became; her drawings become more and more detailed as they go on. I can't help but wonder if this was her first book.

We are all startled by a small commotion in the front of the restaurant; yep—Christian's here. Luke goes up front to get him and Taylor. God, I feel so stupid when he does this. I'm a woman! We cry often and for no good reason! This just happened to be a good reason!

I stand as he approaches. "Ana, baby—are you okay? Taylor told me you were upset and crying." He's holding me tightly to him. I have to admit; I love being this cared for. I do feel stupid, but this feeling of love, warmth and security trumps it all.

"I'm okay, Christian. I promise." I answer as he releases me.

"What happened to make you cry? I'm confused…"

"Pearl gave me this gift…" I hand him the sketch pad. "It's one of Ruby's drawing pads she had for her jewelry designs. Pearl and her parents insisted I have it."

"I apologize, Mister Grey; I apparently have a gift of making Ana cry in my presence."

"Nonsense, Pearl; and please, call me Christian. This is by far the greatest gift anyone could have given to her. If it were me, I'd be in tears too."

"I'm okay, I swear. I'm sad for our loss, but this is an amazing gift. Thank you so much, Pearl. And thank your parents for me too." Pearl and I embrace until the tears subside.

"Well, my job here is done. I'm glad you're alright baby. I'll leave you to it…" He kisses me deeply but gently before he heads out with Jason. He takes several steps before turning back around. "Do you ladies mind if I take that book with me? I'd like to take a closer look."

"Sure. That's fine. Actually, you'll probably be able to keep it safe for me till we get home." Good Idea, Grey…

With book in hand, he heads back out to master his universe. Is it weird that I miss him already? The taste of him lingers on my lips, his smell in my nose. He's with me always. Perhaps that explains why I miss him so much?

After lunch, we head to the dorms to drop off Mia and Pearl. It's a bit of a drive, but is worth it. The look on their faces is hysterical when they see their room. Christian has gone all out and it looks like an IT tech and an interior designer threw up in here. Everything is new and perfect. I of course notice the new security cameras at the entry—good thinking guys. When word gets out Mia Grey is a student, I'm sure that somebody will try to steal something. Also thinking as a woman, I like the safety of it. There's no way anyone is breaking into this room; besides the camera and locks on their door, there's also the undercover CPO living right across the hall. For their sake, nobody knows who this person is except Jason and Luke. And hopefully no one figures it out, either.

Luke introduces us all to the two new CPO's for the girls. Anytime they leave this room, they will have someone with them. Another security measure Christian has taken, especially with Elena out there somewhere. Brian and Craig are young, but very sharp. Pearl and Mia will stay in line just because the two hotties told them to.

We spend several hours unpacking the girls and just being 'girly'. Gail gives the 'mom' advice, and Kate gives the 'party girl' advice, which consisted of "Don't get so drunk that you're not in control of yourself, stay away from everything except the occasional roach—that other stuff will fry your brain! And always, no matter what the guy says, wear a condom for Christ's sake!" Yep, that's the Kate I've come to know and love.

Gail, Kate and I eventually leave the girls—who have already become the best of friends just as I thought they would—to bond some more over Chinese food, music and talk of boys. I was relieved to hear Mia still speaking of her new boyfriend, Jose. I'm glad they're still together. It's also a bit of a protection for Mia, as it may stop her from going too crazy partying.

Gail and I decide on fried chicken for dinner, and tell Kate she's getting a cooking lesson whether she wants to or not. She agrees as long as there's wine.

CPOV

After leaving the ladies behind, I take a few minutes on the ride back to work to peruse the sketches Ruby made. They are outstanding. She truly had an eye for it, a natural talent. I have a fantastic idea come to me, and I have Jason detour to Cartier first. I spend several hours there showing the sketches to Ronald, and together we come up with a business plan: I'm going to have Cartier buy the sketches and they will then make them and start the "Ruby Sanchez Exclusive Collection". Ten percent of all sales will go to the "Ruby Sanchez House" –one of the projects Ana has named in Boston, and the rest will go to Ruby's family. I contact my legal department and they instantly get to work on the deal and everything involved.

I'm an amazing business man, although this deal touches me personally. It's a smart money move for her family and the charity will benefit. I'm pretty sure Ana will approve—hell, I just may have earned blow jobs for life!

I don't get home till after six o'clock in the evening. As soon as I walk in the door I hear and smell wonderful things; Ana's laugh, and fried chicken. Jason and I head right for the kitchen, and low and behold, there are three incredibly drunk women sitting around the table. I think they've been waiting for us so we could have dinner together. Sure enough, a few minutes later Elliot arrives.

"Christian! You're home!" Ana slurs. Oh boy, this is going to end badly. I will keep my new business venture quiet for now, until she's coherent.

"Ana, you're very drunk." I don't like her drinking to this degree. I'm a bit upset with her for being careless.

"I know…I'm sorry baby…just was waiting on you men so we can eat dinner, but you never came…we just kept drinking and drinking…guess we didn't realize how much we had on empty stomachs. Forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, but darlin' you really need to be more careful."

She's standing in front of me with the biggest Cheshire cat grin on her face. "Maybe later you can punish me for being such a bad, defiant girl!" She says just a little too loud which causes Gail and Kate to bust out laughing.

"Whooo-hoo! You go girl! Maybe we'll all get lucky tonight!" Kate hollers as she all but climbs up Elliot's tall frame and just hangs on him.

"I take it none of you have eaten?" Elliot asks concerned.

"Nope. Waitin' on you men folk" Gail responds, followed by a succession of hiccups. "Oh Lordy, I'm getting too old for this shit. Jason, my love—be a dear and help me to bed, please." Jason helps her get ready for bed, and once Gail has passed out he rejoins us.

"I hope you left her a bucket."

"Of course. It's not the first time she's been drunk."

We help ourselves to dinner and just sit back and enjoy the show that is 'Drunk Ana and even drunker Kate.'…

"Ya know what I always wanted to know? Why are metal heads so angry? I mean are they mad 'cause they can't understand the lyrics, or are their pants too tight?"

"I know, right? O-M-G! They have such beautiful hair—usually—awesome tattoos, and some pretty great jewelry. What's to be so cranky about?"

"Oh, let's have something to eat, Kate. This food smells so good! Look-look-look… the chicken—lost its leg in NOM NOM NOM…" Ana nearly makes us choke as she makes silly noises eating her piece of chicken.

"Christian, I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now." She says with a huge greasy grin. "You fulfill me in ways that generally require batteries."

"Oh, Ana…you deplete me. Get it? Deplete. Batteries…" She just looks at me unfocused and smirks.

"Wouldn't it be funny if breast implants came with squeaky toys inside them?" Kate says.

"We wouldn't need batteries!" Ana exclaims. "Genius!"

"Neither would we, ladies. Neither would we." Elliot speaks up. "Ah yes; love, sex and toys. But what is love, truly?"

"Love is: not having to hold your farts in anymore." Kate says.

"I don't fart, I whisper in my panties…but sometimes it's a scream." Ana adds in between her laughs.

"Congratulations on your long awaited bowel movement; because after all that's what a fart is—a cry from an imprisoned turd!"

"Ewww, Elliot!" Kate scolds.

"Speaking of asses, don't you just hate ass-sweat?"

"But is it really sweat, that is the question!"

"Oh so true, Kate! Gross, but true." Kate takes out another bottle of chilled wine and pops the cork like a true sommelier.

As she pours, she adds, "Good friends offer advice and wisdom. Best friends come over unannounced with alcohol, super hero costumes, glitter, fireworks and bacon."

"And candy, Kate! You can't forget the candy! Chocolate candy!" Ana is practically drooling at the thought of all things chocolate.

"Do you ever think about all the really nice drunk people you've met in bathrooms and wonder how their doing? I miss all of you!" Ana and Kate start laughing.

"Put some whiskey in my coffee because it's Ireland somewhere." Jason asks.

Ana looks at him like he just asked them to strip naked and make out. "Did you know, Jason, a giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the end of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself!" We all crack up as she reaches into the cabinet next to the wine fridge and takes out the Irish whiskey, pouring a little into the coffee Jason has been nursing.

She then pours a shot for herself before spilling out two large sloshes of alcohol on the floor. When she sees us looking at her questioningly, she explains. "Two for my homies—Ruby and Matthew." And then proceeds to pound back the drink she poured herself. Whiskey and wine…this should be interesting.

Kate looks about ready to pass out or fall asleep. "On a scale of one to ten, how focused are you Kate?" I ask her.

"Banana!" She responds instantly.

"What's on your mind, honey?" Elliot asks concerned.

"I've got ninety nine problems… and eighty six of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason." She laughs so hard she snorts.

"Whenever I'm sad, I just think about how the Welsh word for microwave is popty ping…it helps!" Ana adds, snorting herself.

"Long live crazy bitches, the world wouldn't be the same without us!" They clink glasses in comradery.

"I think I'm going to make popcorn! I'm in the mood for it for some reason." Ana says completely slurring her words. "Let's go watch T.V.!" She and Kate head for the living room after making popcorn. I take away their wine glasses and replace them with water which doesn't go over very well.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Ana says mockingly.

"Father's day…the most confusing day in the ghetto." Kate adds.

"Oh my word, that's just so messed up!"

But apparently still hysterically funny, as they can't stop laughing.

Jason, Elliot and I have some more Irish coffee as we discuss the wedding plans as I know them to be, along with some work matters and of course—how to protect us from further assaults by Elena. Every now and then we'd pause and listen to Ana and Kate to make sure they were okay, and the conversations, although making no cohesive sense, were outright hysterically funny.

"Look! David Schwimmer is schwimming…did ya get it?"…

"I'm still kinda pissed they never actually told us how to get to Sesame Street."…

"Balloons are so weird…happy birthday—here's a plastic sack of my breath!"…

"All fortune cookies should just read 'You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.'."…

"What would you do for a Klonopin?" Sung to the commercial for Klondike Ice Cream treats…

"If I refuse to nap, is that resisting a rest?"

"When I grow up, I want to marry a man who's addicted to video games…said no one ever!" Kate cracks herself up way too easily.

"Seals are just dog mermaids…think about it!"

"I wish guys wouldn't play with a girl's heart, she only has one…" Kate says sadly.

"Yeah, they should play with her boobs, she has 2 of those!" Ana adds, making Kate giggle and forget any sadness she felt.

"Don't break anyone's heart, they only have one." Kate adds.

"Break their bones, they have 206." Ana adds quietly, which leads to very loud laughter.

"Did you read that article that said Kanye wants to run for president in the next election?" Kate asks.

"Yes! But come on, dude: your wife is a porn star and your kid is a compass. Take a seat son." Ana says, and I have to admit—that one got us all laughing.

During a Victoria's Secret commercial, we hear, "I think I figured out Victoria's Secret: that bitch is hungry!"

"Yeah, I'm not sure why men go for those women. Why are they so attractive?"

"Because—boobs, Kate! I understand how they feel though."

"How so?"

"Men are always begging me for kisses for hugs… for release, to be untied, to unlock the trunk" More laughter.

During a cereal commercial: "I hate when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through."

"Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters"

"Boo! That's not funny- way too serious…yuck!"

"Okay, then how about: I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive."

"Much better Mrs. Applebaum."

Who the fuck is Mrs. Applebaum?

"I like to burn my bridges while I'm standing on them so people know I'm serious about my crazy!"…

We are dying in the other room listening to their absurd conversation; but when the talk turns to the wedding, my ears prick up even more. I really want to go in there to physically check on them, but I don't want to risk alerting them to the fact that we're listening—because then they'd most likely stop. And this shit is way too funny to have it end prematurely.

"My decision making skills with this wedding closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street."

"You know, people will stop asking you questions about it if you answer back in interpretive dance." Another one that cracked us up…

"I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house!"…

"I hate how if a woman has sex with a bunch of different guys she's a slut. Yet if a guy does the same exact thing, he's gay." That one made Elliot spit out his coffee from laughing so hard and unexpectedly.

"Yes! I always thought sex is so weird. It's like, hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you." Jason and I also lose our coffee hearing Ana say this in a fake man's voice. I've never heard sex talked about like that before, especially by women.

"I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase because it would be funny watching cops chase a donut truck on the news." Jason loses it again, and is now crying from laughing so hard.

"I sent that ancestry site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a pack of seeds and suggested I just start over."…

"Do you think prison guards use Proactiv to prevent breakouts? Did ya get it?"

This is where talk turned to be about Elena between the two of them. I never understood how women could be so horrible with another of their sex, but now I get it, and it's well deserved.

"I'm not saying she's a slut. I'm saying that having sex with her would be like doing push-ups over a manhole"…

"More issues than Vogue!"…

"Stupid whore, trapping one-hundred flies in a glass coke bottle and using it as a vibrator is not considered 'going green'."…

"Hope you step on a LEGO, Elena— because fuck you! I'm not scared of you or your lame attempts."

"You're really not scared, Ana?"

"Like I've said to Elena many times: Bitch please, I'm from NY! I just don't remember if I said it to her in person or in my head…" More laughter.

"Damn, you're one touch Chick, Ana! I hope I can be as tough as you one day."

"See, it's easy. Don't ever piss off a short girl; they're like cute, adorable, tiny ninjas of death who are at the perfect height to kick you in the balls. Short girls are badass!"

And then the inevitable happens, and a sad commercial comes one. One of those sad, "Save the abused animals" ones where Sarah McLaughlin's beautiful haunting voice compels the tears from your eyes whether you want them to or not.

"That moment when you start your period and you think... this explains so much." They chuckle embarrassed at their tears. We bring them tissues, and sit to join them.

"If the sentence starts with seriously, honestly, or literally, she just can't even right now." Says Luke, who has just shown his face. I know he's been watching and listening to every word from the security office and probably laughing the whole time.

"I like the sound you make when you shut up." Ana says to him through sleepy eyes.

"Okay, baby girl; I think you should call it a night. You're falling asleep…Elliot, You and Kate are welcome to stay. The guest room is already set up."

"Thanks bro, I think we just might. I'd hate to drive home now, with her like this." He juts his chin at Kate who is passed out. "I could see her puking in my car…no thanks! Yeah, we'll stay here. I appreciate it."

"Of course, no problem; I'll make sure you have a bucket for her, as well as something for her in the morning."

Elliot carries Kate up to bed and I bring him a bucket, some water, Tylenol, toothbrushes, and other toiletries that I always have on hand, as well as changes of clothes from mine and Ana's own closet. After wishing them a good night, I get Ana to bed and put the same provisions next to her: a bucket, water, and Tylenol. After the girls wake up, they will be given a light breakfast, some juice and maybe some beer which I'm told helps with a hangover. But we shall see what the girls say. They may never wish to see alcohol again in their lives after last night.

I admit, watching the two of them last night was very comical, however I am concerned. I worry that they both have been drinking way too much and too often. A glass of wine or two with dinner is one thing, but to polish off almost three bottles by themselves without any food in their stomachs is just not good. I think I understand why, but I will speak with John Flynn in the morning. If I'm right and he agrees with me, then this should be nipped in the bud now before it gets worse.

I love Ana, and I swore to take care of her—even if she hates or resents me for it.

"Jason, run in the morning, and then as soon as we get back, I want all the alcohol cabinets to have locks installed. Only you and I will be able to unlock them. Hopefully it will just be a temporary maneuver, but I do think it's necessary at the moment."

A relieved looking Jason responds in agreement. "Absolutely, Christian. Six o'clock run?"

"Actually let's make it seven—it's already pretty late."

"Very well then—seven it is…and let me just say this; I'm glad you're doing what you must to take care of that girl. She really needs you."

My hands in my pockets, and sadness overwhelming my heart, I nod and say goodnight.

I just look at my poor girl; she looks so lost, scared—even out cold. She needs me, as much as I need her. She needs to know I'm not going anywhere. That we all love her and we aren't going to leave her—ever. But she needs to understand that none of what has happened is her fault. She is not to blame! I know she has survivor's guilt, and I'm pretty sure Kate feels like she didn't do enough to protect her friend. Maybe she blames herself for not insisting Ana go with them as planned, and what the repercussions of that turned out to be. Hell, maybe even Elliot has guilt he's not handling well.

I know I'm having a hard time with it all. If anyone is to blame, it's me for getting involved with that bag of silicone. If Elena wasn't trying to hurt me, she never would've gone after Ana and ended up killing Ruby and Matthew. Then I sit back and watch my beautiful fiancé drink herself close to poisoning, and don't try to really stop her until she's good and drunk.

And how do I handle my guilt?

I ignore it, like I've ignored every other emotion my entire life…until Ana came into it.