"Truman, what is that?" he asked.
"What?" he feigned.
"Oh you really are unbelievable" John said, then redrew his gun, "Olson, keep your eye on him" he ordered to the uniform and then went to Truman's bedroom.
He walked into the room and turned to his left. His eyes met hers and they were the exact shade of blue he remembered. He lowered his gun. His heart skipped a beat, and he felt his lungs expand. It was Natalie, he was sure. She was there, standing in front of him, looking at him as though she was afraid he would vanish. Her eyes glimmered, and he realized she was nearing tears. She looked the same, the years having not changed her at all, and he began wondering if this was real or if it was just another dream he'd wake up from and cursing the fact that he to continue on without her.
As though she could read his mind, she spoke.
"I knew you'd find me someday"
"Someday" he repeated.
All his doubts were gone. This was Natalie, not some impostor and certainly not a dream.
"Natalie" he whispered, and in seconds she was in his arms again.
He was sure she was crying, and knew he was, too, but as he rested her head against hers, he wasn't sure he'd ever felt so happy. He held her tight against him, feeling every fiber of her being pressing into him, and he remembered how right it felt. He inhaled the scent of her hair, unchanged over the years, and he was sure he would lightheaded from the exposure. All he'd had to go off of were the memories, and those had faded substantially over the years.
"I missed you" he said, trying to tell her how much, "I missed you so much"
"I missed you, too, John" she whispered into his shoulder, "God, I missed you so much it hurt"
"I thought I'd never see you again" John said, "I didn't know how to function without you"
"I love you, John"
"I love you, too"
Gently, he kissed her, and she opened her mouth for him, and for the first time in five years, he really felt alive. She breathed the life back into him and when he leaned out, she cried fresh tears. Gently and lovingly, he wiped her tears away.
"I'm so happy" she said, through her tears.
"I'm right there with you" he said, unabashedly crying now as well, "I feel like I can breathe for the first time in five years"
"It's been that long?" she said.
"Just about" he said, "It seems like a lifetime"
She buried her face back in his shoulder and he rested his head against hers. He rubbed her back, but knew stopping the tears was futile at this point.
"He killed Thomas" she whispered.
"I know" he whispered.
"I'm so sorry, John"
"I'm sorry. If I'd've known he had you-"
"You found me"
He opened his eyes, seeing the rope and the bandanna by the bed.
"Natalie, did he have you this whole time?"
She nodded, though she didn't move.
"Did he hurt you?"
She nodded, and he felt a pit of rage building in his stomach, and he knew some of it was directed at himself.
"I'm so sorry, I should have known-"
"You found me"
He shook his head, "I should have known, I should have come sooner"
She laid a hand on the side of his head, "It's over now. You're here" she leaned up to kiss him.
"Lutenint?" they heard from the doorway.
John wiped the tears from eyes and turned towards the doorway, instinctively taking Natalie's hand, "Yeah Daniels?"
"We were just wondering if you needed backup?"
"No" he said, "Take Truman to the station, book him"
"And-?" the officer asked, looking at Natalie.
"Ms. Balsom will be driving with me"
"Yes, sir" the officer said, and headed back out.
"Lutenint?" Natalie asked, a teary smile on her face.
"I have so much to tell you"
"I'm proud of you" she said, "I'm sure Thomas is proud of you, too"
He nodded, "C'mon. There's a lot we got to get through today"
She nodded, and followed him to his car.
"You still have this car?"
"Yeah"
"Well, then I guess not everything has changed"
John took her hand as he drove, "Look, a lot has changed. I have so much to tell you, I don't know where to start, I'm sure you have questions. but one thing's never gonna change, I love you, no matter what"
"I know that" she said, "That's what got me through"
John had been on the job three months. It was much more boring, but he could see how happy his dad was that he didn't hate it. Moreover, Bo was a pretty good guy, and he and his dad were rather close friends, and John found himself liking the guy a lot. He'd come to dinner once in awhile at his parent's house or join he and his dad and Mike for a beer at the bar after work. If he had to be stuck in a town as small as this, at least he was working for a guy like Bo.
It was just after lunch when he was in the squad room talking over a case with his dad when Bo asked to see his dad. It struck John as a little peculiar, but then again, he supposed there could be a number of reasons the two of them had to talk.
"What's up, Bo?"
"I've been doing a little private investigating for a family matter" Bo said, "And I bumped into your name"
"On what?"
"Well, about twenty or so years ago, my brother's wife gave birth to a girl, my niece" he said, "And well, my brother at the time had a pretty serious drinking problem and his wife suffers from a mental illness. So after one girl was born, my brother went to drink and my sister in law blacked out. And as we found out about a year ago, she had another baby girl, who was kidnapped"
"Bo, this is a very sad story, but I don't see how I-"
"Well, all this happened in Atlantic City, and we found out who took her, and from there I found out that they dumped her at another hospital and then I found out who ended up taking her home" he said, "And this morning I got a phone call from Atlantic City, and it turns out that you arrested her step father and there's no real trace of where she went after that. She graduated high school, but-"
"Bo, I arrested a lot of people-"
"Her name's Natalie. Natalie Balsom"
Thomas knew his face fell. of all the things Bo could have said, that was not one that he'd expected.
"So you do know her"
"Yeah, I know her" he said, "For a few years, she was practically my daughter"
"What?"
"She lived with us after I arrested her step father" he stood, going to the door.
"Thomas, I have so many questions, please don't-"
"I'm going to get John. He needs to hear this, too"
"I just want to know if you know anything"
"We don't. I wish we did. But that's John's to tell, not mine"
"I don't understand"
"You will. Natalie- she was practically my daughter, but she was everything to John" he said.
"Could you tell me about her?"
"John could do a better job of that than I could" he said, "But Bo, I'll tell you now, he's not going to take this very well"
Thomas left, finding John in the squad room. He was still looking at that case file. He knew this was going to be a hard pill for him to swallow, and he wished he could make it easier for his son. He almost wanted to not tell him, but he also knew he deserved the right to know. He'd been through hell trying to figure it out, and any piece to the puzzle could help, he supposed.
"Johnny" he said.
"yeah"
"Bo would like to talk to you"
"About what?"
"Something personal" he said.
John followed him into Bo's office, sitting on the couch next to his dad. His dad had an unreadable expression on his face, and Bo looked rather confused.
"John, your dad said you knew about something- someone I've been looking into. I was wondering if you could tell me about her"
"Who?"
"Her name's Natalie"
John looked to his father. The look on his face made a lot of sense now. He wasn't sure what to say, so he didn't say anything at all.
"John, I hope the last few months have proven I'm not out to hurt you. I'm genuinely interested in her, I just want to know something, anything, really"
John again looked to his father. He gave him a reassuring nod. For some reason he didn't understand, his dad wanted him to do this. He trusted his dad, so he'd do it, but he still didn't understand why.
"Natalie, she was my girlfriend. We were together for six years"
"How did you meet her?"
"We rode the same bus to school. She needed a seat, so she sat down next to me"
"Thomas said she lived with you guys"
"Yeah" he said.
"Why?"
John looked to dad again, hoping he'd take this one. He wasn't sure he could get through it, the memory of that night would forever haunt him, the look that was in her eyes when he let her into their house, how scared she was and how much she was shaking, the bruises on her face. His dad just nodded at him, and he tried to breathe, still unknowing of why he was forced to go through this torment.
"She ran away from her stepfather. He was abusing her, but the reason she ran was because he tried to rape her. Mom and Dad took her in after that night"
Bo's face fell, clearly not having expected that answer. The questions John had piled up in hsi brain, but he couldn't vocalize them for the pictures of that night playing out in his head right now, and the rage that still burned for that man.
"You loved her?"
"Yes" he said.
"And you took care of her?"
"We took care of each other. I needed her just as much as she needed me"
"Do you know where she is?"
John looked down, "Bo, if I knew that, I'd be with her"
"What happened?"
"She disappeared without a trace. No evidence to get us anywhere. Just- gone" he said.
"How long?"
"Four years"
"John" Bo started, "What do you know about my family?"
"What do you mean?"
"Have you heard about my brother and his wife and their- issues"
John nodded. The Buchanan drama was well documented throughout the small town. They were the richest people in town- they had more money and power than God did in this town. They were the type of people he thought of as fake, but he liked bo a lot despite all that.
"Well, I've been investigating something for them- they had a child who was kidnapped years ago and no really knew-"
John's heart skipped a beat. This couldn't possibly be happening.
"And the girl they had that was taken, it was Natalie"
"No" John said, shaking his head, "No, that can't- there's no way-"
"She was dropped off at hospital in AC and brought home by who she must have thought was her mother-"
"Her mother was an alcoholic. As was her stepfather. She was abused for six years by that bastard" he said, his anger and outrage now getting the best of him, "And you're telling me she had more money and should have grown up in a mansion instead of that shack that didn't have any heat or enough food-" he said, "She spent years of her life being hungry and you people- you just noticed she was missing last year" he exploded, "She's a wonderful, caring, perfect person and you didn't even know she was missing. She didn't have to deal with any of that bull she had to growing up all because you people in your comfy mansions didn't think to look for her?" he yelled, "Do you know how hurt she was? Do you know how long it took me to convince her I loved her? How long it took her to believe she wasn't worthless?" he knew he was out of control, but he didn't care, "She's just some case to you, something to find. She was the most loving, kind person I'll ever know and she's gone- she wouldn't be gone if you'd cared to look for her sooner"
He stormed out the office and out of the station, unsure of where he was going, but knowing he had to be out of that place.
Bo and Thomas sat in silence for a few minutes, processing what had just happened.
"It's not your fault she's gone" Thomas said, "He didn't mean that"
"It could be true" Bo said, "In the whole time John's been here, I've never seen him like that"
"Well" Thomas said, "you've never talked to him about Natalie"
"He must have really loved her"
"I think he still does. I don't know if he'll ever get over her"
"It's all true, then" he said, "how she grew up"
"For the first sixteen years, anyway" he said, "The last six, well, I'd like to think they were better for all of us"
"You've never mentioned her before. I've never seen pictures-"
"I'm not proud of that" he said, "I'm more than proud of that girl. I guess, at least sometimes, it's easier to forget than to remember what you lost. Ask Eve one of these days, she has loads of pictures"
"So that's it? She's just- gone. That doesn't make any sense"
"No, it doesn't" he said, "John knows better than anyone. Whoever got her, they just had too much of a head start. He'll never forgive himself" he rubbed his hand over his face, and got up.
"Thomas, I hope I didn't-"
Thomas shook his head, "You have just as much a right to wonder as any of us. John just-"
"He should be angry. I would be"
"I think I should go talk to him"
"Do you think- if it's not too much- you could tell us about her?"
Thomas nodded, "Eve would just about talk your ear off"
"This has to be a lot for you, too"
"It's been four years since I found John crying at her car after she went missing- I'll never forget that as long as I live. I just wanted to fix it, but-"
"Go" he said, "John could use his dad, whether he likes it or not"
He stood, facing the water. None of it made sense. How could an heiress go missing for so long and no one notice? How could her family have not noticed? What was wrong with them, didn't they know what they lost on out? How wonderful and perfect she was?
He would never get over the abuse. The fact that she'd been so hurt for so long and that he didn't see any of it. This was just another layer, the fact that she shouldn't have been there in the first place, not with those people who were so incapable of taking care of her. She could have- she should have had everything at her fingertips. She wouldn't have had to work so hard, she wouldn't have had to worry about school, even if she got a full ride. she would have had a car sooner-
He missed her. Sometimes he swore he missed her so much it hurt just to breathe without near him.
He was aware of the person behind him, and knew it was his dad when he stood next to him silently, looking out over the water as well.
"I come down here to think, too" he said.
"It's the closest thing to a boardwalk" he said.
"It's quite a lot to take in"
He shook his head, "She was hurt. They were hurting her and she shouldn't have been there in the first place"
"You're right" he said, "It's not right"
"I'll never forget that night. I want to, God I want to" he closed his eyes against the images.
"I know" his dad said, "Sometimes, I wish that, too"
"It's not fair, how hard she had it, and instead she should have-"
"You wouldn't have met her, John" he said, "None of this would matter, because she wouldn't have been a part of our lives"
"We would have met. Somehow, I know it" he said.
"She wouldn't have been the person you fell in love with" he said, and was met with silence from his son, "Even if you had met, somehow, she would have been completely different, she wouldn't have had to go through all of that"
"I didn't love her because they hurt her"
"No, you loved her because of how strong she was. How independent. How caring she was. All that could have been different if she hadn't been taken"
"Doesn't make it right"
"No, not at all" he said, "But would you give up what you had with her for a promise that she'd be safe?"
"I don't know" he said, "I wouldn't want to live without her, but- she shouldn't have been hurt like that"
"No" he said "but, you fell in love with her anyway. We are always real proud of you for that"
"Like I had a choice" he said, "I wish I could back in time-"
"Me too" he said, "Me and your mother used to lie awake at night and try and figure out how to send her home with a meal or report her stepfather- "
"What?"
"Before she came to live with us, we tried to figure out how we could get her out without doing anything legally-"
"You knew?"
"All the signs were there" he said, "I thought about finding a way to arrest him near everyday when she went home. Her mother got arrested almost weekly- she would have been put in foster care" he said, "And we couldn't take her away from you"
"I didn't know" he said.
"I've always wondered- I wouldn't ask then because then I would have had to do something- did you ever know? Or had any idea?"
"I don't know" he said, " I remember, I asked her for her number once and she made this whole thing about how I couldn't possibly want it, and finally she told me she didn't have one. I remember her mom in the supermarket that one time" he said, "I go back now, and I can see the signs, I just, guess I couldn't see them then"
"Hindsight's 20/20" he said.
"Yeah, i guess" he said.
"You know, you got her for six years and I know how much that meant to you. But, the Buchanans, they never got to know her at all. So yeah, they might have more money than you or I will ever see, but we got the real treasure"
John shook his head, "I don't get it"
"Sometimes, we aren't supposed to get it" his dad answered, "You knew her better than anyone, you think she would have wanted to know them?"
"Of course she would. She'd let anyone into her heart"
"If they're good enough for her, maybe they're good enough for us"
"Dad-"
"It's your choice, Johnny. You can hate them if you want, but you know they didn't have anything more do to with it than either of us. You can help, if you want"
"I don't know what I'd say. Where would I even start?"
"She'd like Bo"
"She could run laps around those FTs"
Thomas chuckled, "Yeah, probably"
"I miss her"
"We all do, son. Not the quite the same, but you're not alone" he patted John on the shoulder, before he left.