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Thorin and Wren(a), 'dressed up' as Aphrodite and Hephaestus, in a cheery, sex positive, and body positive story of a kickarse deity of love and a delicious smith! Please, back my book so it can be edited and published for your consumption! The link is available on my blog kolmakov dot ca or my professional Writer's Facebook: katyakolmakov.

Ta, my lovelies!

Katya Kolmakov

"I am leaving to the Blue Mountains," she said quietly, looking at her hands, once again folded on her lap. "For a few moons, at least. I just need to leave… I have relations there, an aunt." Something strangely rang in Thorin's ears.

"I will take Dain with me," she continued, in the same dull voice. "Thror has to stay here; he's your heir, after all. And Unna will be happier here, she's always prefered you to me. But Dain is mine, and after all all, he's still too young to stay without a mother."

"What are you saying, Wrena?" Panic was rising in his mind.

"I'm leaving… I need to leave..."

Just as before, when he had thought she would leave with Amri, when it all seemed so clear to him - he found himself utterly confused. She was once again saying something, acting, thinking - all on the contrary to any of his expectations. She had been his wife for a hundred years - and he understood nothing about her.

"Wrena..."

She suddenly sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand - like a child would.

"I just can't anymore..."

And then he suddenly heard it. One phrase out of all she'd said, out of the noise and tumult and his own thoughts and his assumptions - he heard and remembered her words. I said 'no,' because I am your wife. 'I am,' not 'I was.'

He also understood - with all possible clarity - that if he let her go now, she would never come back.

And that, despite everything that had happened, she was - for the time being - perhaps, just for another instant - still here.

He rose from his chair, came up to her, and knelt in front of her. She was lost in her thoughts, it seemed - and then she saw him and winced away from him. He firmly wrapped his hand around her left upper arm.

"No."

She stared at him, the cat eyes widening. "What?"

"No, you aren't leaving to the Blue Mountains. Not if I have anything to say about it." She gawked at him for another moment, but then her lips pressed in a tight line.

"Well, you don't have a say in that. You have made it abundantly clear that you don't want me here..."

"I was a fool," he said, with all possible conviction. "Again. Just as before. And you were right. I am the one to blame. I am the one ruining our marriage."

"What are you even saying, Thorin? Are you planning… to stop me?" She was growing angrier. "To forbid me? Because if you do, I will tell you..."

"No, Wrena, of course not. I am asking you to stay." His mind rushed, through possible things to say, searching for the truest, most precise words to put his thoughts into.

"I will not," she answered gravely. "I will not stay."

"Wrena, I… heard you. All you have just said, about Amri, and your feelings, and..." He stopped and shook his head. "Wrena, I… I don't understand any of it. You have to teach me."

There it was.

"Teach me," he whispered, and looked into her eyes. She was frowning. "Wrena, I… I hear but don't understand. But I know that I don't. Teach me."

Her lips twitched, and mournful lines lay in the corners of her lips.

"No." Her voice was hardly audible.

"Please..."

"No..."

He took a deep breath. A few moments of silence passed; and she shimmied her shoulders, to untangle of his grasp.

"Wrena..." His voice wavered. She was his wife. He loved her. She loved him. Still. Perhaps. "I want to learn. I want… No, I need you to teach me. But if you say 'no' now, I will never say another word. It's all up to you, all for you to decide." He let her of her arm, giving her choice, and freedom, just as she deserved. "And you have every right to leave, and I… I'm asking. Please… Stay..."

He dropped his head, suddenly feeling helpless, and weak, and scared - like never before, as if young, and lost again, as if stripped of his armour. Something dully hurt in his chest. He didn't dare touching her. His head felt heavy, and something soft brushed at his forehead. It was the white lace around the cut of her dress. He heard a sharp inhale, and the lace fleetingly touched his skin again.

"Please, Wrena..."

She was silent.

He looked up. She was pale, and tears ran down her cheeks. The usually red lips were white, and she kept clenching and unclenching her jaw. The throat moved jerkily. He prayed to Mahal she wouldn't shake her head now.

"Why?" The word fell off her lips, and a sob rushed out as well, like a stowaway; and she jolted and pressed a hand over her mouth. There was a flicker of hope all of a sudden - and he told himself to halt, and think, and be clever.

"Why what, Wrena?" He kept his voice soft.

"Why would you… change your mind? You… You wanted me to leave, with him… You..." She frantically shook her head, but he was certain it was the refusal he feared so much.

"I was a fool, Wrena..."

"No, no!" She almost screamed suddenly, into his face, but he didn't shy away, still watching her eyes intently. "None of these empty words! You thought I loved him! You decided it was so, and that none of the hundred years we'd had, and our love, and the last few moons - none of it suddenly mattered! And you threw me aside. You gave me up!" And then she swung her hand, and he knew he deserved the slap - but it didn't follow. With a low pained howl she hit his shoulder, with a loose fist, weakly, in despair. "You gave me up..."

"I don't understand you," he whispered, and leaned in closer. "I don't… I thought I did, and you were right when you said I saw everything in black and white. It was all over in my mind. I didn't… give you up..." He wished he could touch her, the cheek, wet, so close to him; or brush the hair of the cheekbone - but he knew he had no right. "I didn't give you up. I thought I had lost you."

"You should have..."

"I should have asked," he interrupted her, hurriedly, to make sure she knew he had gotten the answer - at least this one - right before she said anything. "And then you stayed, and… It didn't make sense to me! And that made me think… To look into the matter... I will never make the same mistake again." A sharp certain urge to make a promise came over him. "I will never… I swear to you, Wrena, on my honour… I will never..." He paused, and she lifted her eyes, previously lowered.

"You will never what?"

"I will never think I am right… without asking you."

"That will never happen..." she slowly pronounced, and some sort of a ridiculous untimely chuckle bubbled in his throat. She blinked, and then she tilted her head, and he saw the shadow of his wife - the light amused mockery splashed in her eyes, for just a sliver of a moment, replaced by the same anger, and sadness, and heartbreak. "And that would be… dangerous, for the kingdom, and… otherwise."

He couldn't put the thought into words; and he hoped she would correct him now, give him a hint, help him out - but then he thought he had no right for that either.

"I want to learn, Wrena. To be a better husband." He moved a smidge closer. He picked up her left hand - and she didn't take it away. "I don't understand you… I saw it all wrong, it was all different… all wrong in my head. But I want to learn..."

He was almost certain he hadn't convinced her, even a bit, but she still didn't refuse him - so he lifted her hand, cradled it in his two, and pressed his lips to the back of it. The familiar strong fingers were trembling; and the skin was cool. She'd always had warm hands.

She sighed and pulled the hand back.

"I will… stay… for now," she said quietly. He held his breath. "I won't leave. But I need… time. To think..."

"Yes, of course. You have all the time you need. Just tell me what to do." She glanced up at him. "When you wish to talk to me again, tell me what to do..." he offered cautiously.

She studied his face.

"I want to leave now." It took him a second to understand what she was saying, and then he jerked away, freeing room in front of her.

She rose, and then swayed. He lifted his hand, but she ignored it.

She then walked to the door, and left, without closing it behind her.

She wasn't present at the meals that day and the following one. Her maid informed them the Queen was ill. He send her a small note with wishes of speedy recovery, and prepared to wait. He had a long siege in front of him - a new quest.