Chapter 21: First time

A/N

I really torture these guys don't I?

Arceeenergon over on DA made some fanart for the fic! GO SEE! : / / arceeenergon . Deviant art gallery / # / (Take out the spaces)

Galvatron watched the dust as it slid over the land. He and Cliffjumper had become closer than ever before, meeting nearly every day, sharing their evening rations and filling the nights with cuddling and tactile overloads. It seemed his lap was Cliffjumper's new favorite seat. They had yet to spark merge, but Cliffjumper didn't seem to be in a rush and Galvatron surprisingly found himself following the mini's lead. He wanted to merge with Cliffjumper, but not in the way he wanted when he first started this mission. Back then, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. It was just another hot spark. Now, he didn't want to lessen the experience by rushing into it. In a way, he almost wanted to make it special.

Obviously the good energon was out, but Cliffjumper could do with some old fashioned wooing.

Checking his chronometer, Galvatron wondered at the time. He usually met Cliff in the late afternoon but it was dark now. Cliff had not been this late before, not without a call at least.

The Decepticons and Autobots had had a battle that morning. But that almost always meant Cliffjumper would meet with him, to blow off some steam or get steamed up.

He was suddenly bombarded by images of a hurt Cliffjumper. Could he have been injured? Had they let him fight today…? Cliffjumper hadn't mentioned anything about being promoted to first strike. His cons would often brag about who they'd managed to kill post battles, but no one had mentioned a red mini-bot. Would anyone even consider him a worthwhile defeat?

He stood from his perch sharply. It wouldn't draw much attention if he just asked his men if anyone had shot Cliffjumper…would it? It would at least be better than him wasting time out here, right? Before his boosters even warmed however, Cliffjumper appeared around a stack of rubble.

He was walking slowly, with a slight limp. Patches of his paint job were grayed, burned and scratched. He had a new horn. His face was downcast and his optics glowed dimly as if he was low on power. Galvatron didn't waste another moment before jogging out to the mini.

"Cliffjumper! What happened?" Galvatron asked as he offered the red bot a hand. Cliffjumper stared at the hand for a moment and Galvatron assumed he'd push it out of his way with a sarcastic quip. The Decepticon only grew more concerned when Cliffjumper actually accepted his help and continued toward the shelter.

"Cons." was all the minibot said.

Once inside, Clffjumper plunked himself down against the wall with a great sigh.

"You should be resting." Galvatron scolded softly, kneeling next to the mini, but still pleased that he had come out. He slowly moved to brush a small dent on Cliffjumper's helm. The mini let him touch. He even leaned into his hand after a moment. He pet Cliffjumper in silence for several minutes before the minibot spoke again.

"They got the guy next to me…" he said softly. "…one second we're shooting them down, the next…he's in pieces all around me…"

Galvatron's hand stilled on the mini's helm, his other hand clenching into a fist. "That could have been you…" he whispered hoarsely, more to himself than the mini, a bit surprised at how cold his spark felt at the thought.

"…it was his first battle…stupid rookie mistake…"Cliffjumper whispered, more to himself than Galvatron. "…He had just turned old enough to sign up…"

"Cliffjumper-"

"He had so many plans…!" Cliffjumper hiccupped, ignoring Galvatron. "He was going to become an officer and transfer off planet to fight and see the universe….He wanted to visit the Alpha Q Realm and the great cities…. And when the war was over, he was going to bond with his best friend and raise a few kids. Primus, he had so many plans…!" Cliffjumper choked and sank his face into his hands, curling up into himself. "The kid didn't even get a chance!" he cried, the statement echoing into the empty building.

Cliffjumper had seen so many lives end…. lives cut off before they should have been. He expected it every day. But nothing hurt him so much as when a child—someone with so much life ahead of them, someone who would actually have accomplished something—was taken before their time…

Galvatron had never seen Cliffjumper like this. The minibot was always so…strong. He wasn't afraid of battle or death. He mourned his friends and comrades yes, but he had never seen this much emotion from the mini aside from anger or passion. It…hurt to watch. Slowly, the large Decepticon wrapped an arm around Cliffjumper.

"Cliffjumper…" Galvatron began, but stopped. He didn't know what to say. 'this is just a part of war?' 'He died making a difference?' It all seemed so fickle. So fake. He had never been comforted or comforted anyone before. By Primus how he wished he had been now, if only to know what to do.

"It isn't fair Axle…"Cliffjumper sobbed. "He was just a kid…."

Galvatron couldn't think of anything to say, so he went with what he felt. He scooped Cliffjumper up in his arms and wrapped him in a crushing hug on his lap. As Cliffjumper continued to cry, he cooed and rubbed the bot's helm and back. Despite how…odd…it felt to do this, he was almost pleased to be the one Cliffjumper let go in front of.

When Cliffjumper was all cried out, he lazily traced invisible shapes on the larger bot's chassis.

"…I'm sorry…" Galvatron said softly. "I'm sorry for your friend…"

"…thanks…"Cliffjumper looked up at the giant bot's downcast face. His optics were glowing brightly, illuminating his faceplate. It was amazing how well he recognized it now…the high dark cheeks and the crest on his helm and that smile that always had a hint of a smirk.

Taking a chance, Cliffjumper stretched up and kissed him lightly on his dermas. Warmth spread through him, making him feel lighter, pushing away the dark thoughts of regret and death.

For a moment, Galvatron was stunned, but he quickly started kissing back, deepening it, servos moving to clutch Cliffjumper's helm and rub his horns. They had become familiar with each other over the last few mega-cycles, but he could never get enough, he was always ano-cyclening for the spark beneath the plating and it seemed as though he was finally going to get it.

With the touches, Cliffjumper moaned and moved to straddle Galvatron, small servos digging into the larger bots circuits. He needed this. He needed to feel something besides hate and guilt. Axle was the only one that could make him feel this. The large purple neutral was the only one that made him feel normal and special at the same time, like a friend and a lover. The mini deepened the kiss, arching to reach the taller bot's faceplate.

Under him however, Galvatron wondered. After all this time, trying so hard, was this really what he wanted? He wanted Cliffjumper, body and soul. But now it didn't feel right. He was a lie. The mini before him was a true as one could be. He had laid himself out while Galvatron hid behind a fake name and a fake life. Could he really have Cliffjumper when Cliffjumper didn't know the truth? Cliffjumper wanted Axle, not Galvatron….and right now, Galvatron couldn't even be sure if it was really what Cliffjumper wanted, and not just something he saw through the veil of grief.

He was shocked to realize that he didn't want that. He wanted a willing Cliffjumper. A Cliffjumper that honestly wanted him for him.

With a groan, Galvatron broke their kiss, tugging Cliffjumper's servos away from his chassis, much to the smaller bot's confusion. "Cliff-" Galvatron murmured reluctantly, "we shouldn't…"

"Why not…?"Cliffjumper whispered, leaning up to nibble on the purple bot's neck. It surprised him that after all this time Axle would turn him down, after all the meetings and innuendos and gropes and their more recent petting and kissing sessions. Was he worried? "There's nothing wrong with what where doing."

With another great amount of restraint, Galvatron added softly almost to himself, "It's getting late…"

"I don't care…" Cliffjumper replied, getting desperate "…I want you…please?" Cliffjumper needed this. At his darkest micro-cycle…this was the bot he turned too. "please…"

At the word, Galvatron swallowed his concerns and gave into the sheer need he felt towards the bot. He may not have all of Cliffjumper right now, but surely there would be other opportunities. More time. That was what he needed. More time together, more time to solidify the bond he knew existed between them. When it was firm—strong enough…maybe then he would challenge it with the truth. But for now…he needed something. Even if it was just a small taste, he needed that small light…And maybe…maybe seeing his spark would make Cliffjumper love him enough to ignore the brand he symbolized…

Galvatron traced now familiar seams and tweaked those special cables. The two bot's moans echoed through the building as electricity started flittering in the air around them. Heavy pets and pinched wires and hard grinding made them whimper into the night.

Cliffjumper was the first to release his chest plates, revealing his bright blue spark to the other, larger bot. He shivered as the cool night aired touched his spark chamber, blushing madly as the larger bot grabbed his arms to hold him still. Galvatron stared at it in awe. This was what he had started out for. This was what he had originally wanted and had grown to need. And here it was, opened willingly before him. Galvatron's own chassis snapped open, his enormous spark pouring out bright light onto the red mini.

With a deep kiss they merged, emotions and feeling flooding in each other as their charges grew in strength. Cliffjumper could feel the larger bot inside him! He could feel him panting….feel the push of hydraulics and the fast flow of energon. He could feel concern flooding from him, and pleasure, and a little bit of something else. It felt so huge…and warm…what was it!? Was that love? He couldn't tell, he'd never felt it before. Maybe, but whatever it was felt wonderful though. It warmed him. He sent out a shock to Galvatron, making the larger bot groan and grip him even tighter.

Galvatron loved how open Cliffjumper was. He could feel everything. It was warm and full. He felt the pressure of his spark on his small lover. He felt happiness over this act, so happy it was almost giddy. He couldn't get enough. He pulled the minibot onto himself. Molded their bodies together. Sent out shock after shock, always meeting a strong one in reply.

Cliffjumper gasped at the power behind every surge, gripping Galvatron desperately. Electricity surged through their circuits, burned the energon flowing through them, locking their joints. Both shouted their release as they clung to each other.

Slowly, their charges subsided, leaving both drained and content. Cliffjumper was out. Galvatron pulled their sparks away from each other, trying to ignore the faint tugs that clung on desperately between them.

Laying on his side, Galvatron cradled the smaller bot in his arms, watching him sleep. Cliff mumbled "I love you…Axle" softly, and curled closer. The Decepticon frowned. He wanted Cliff to call him by his real name. What would that sound like? The thought sent a slight shiver down his spin. But reason began to invade his fantasy. If Cliffjumper were to find out his real name, that would mean he knew the truth. Out of his romantic high, Galvatron knew the chances of Cliffjumper forgiving him were slim, but he had to hold onto that small hope. Especially now.

In the back of his processor, Galvatron had clutched the lie that he was still using Cliffjumper. He used it to justify the time he spent on the mini instead of on the Deceptions. He held onto it to restore his pride and honor. What kind of bot would he be if he actually fell for the enemy? The answer was finally coming out.

He had had his chance and now he had to face the truth.

Cliffjumper's mind and spark had been completely open to him. Everything Cliff knew was his to learn. It was all right there…and he hadn't taken a single peak.

All this time he had been denying his feelings, claiming them to be curiosity, lust, espionage. Now he had no choice but to recognize it. Only Cliffjumper had filled his spark with such bright joy. He wasn't in this for the info, he had stopped being in it for that a long time ago.

If he was any self-respecting Decepticon he would get up and leave right now.

Instead, he held the minibot against him and murmured back softly, "I…love you…too…"

And he meant it…

End chapter 21