(A/N:) My god, I am SO sorry for the delay of this update! School was so hectic and I had writer's block from hell. But now it's summer, so I'll be updating quicker hopefully! Enjoy!

21.

The next Monday did not go smoothly.

After Aria had returned from the hotel and she had spoken to John, he had waited on her hand and foot, obeyed her every wish, because he was grasping at straws to make up for what he had done. And while that was what he should be doing, Aria felt physically nauseous from guilt at his actions. She was no better than him now.

Yet even though she was laden with guilt, she did not regret being with Ezra at all. That night, Ezra had abated all her stress and worries and simply loved her. That's all he did, and it made her feel fantastic. That's really all she wanted. She just wanted to be truly loved again.

But now with John being kind to her again, and the fact that he actually seemed like he would change, Aria was as lost as a tourist without a map. Her mind and thoughts were a complete labyrinth, with constant forks in the road. One path always led to Ezra, the original love affair in her life and the amazing man she had then pined over for years and years. But the other path led to John, her sturdy yet disloyal husband, but who also had been there by her side for about fifteen years.

Each man had pros, and both of them certainly had some cons, but Aria just couldn't decide and she felt like her head was bound to explode from all the nebulous thoughts in her mind.

It was hard enough thinking about Ezra, thinking of what had happened on Friday night, while she was at home alone, sipping on wine constantly. But now it was Monday morning and she had already seen him around the office a few times, but she had strategically dodged him every time he came close to catching sight of her.

But Aria couldn't dodge him when his secretary stepped into her cubicle. "Aria, dear? Mr. Fitz wants to see you in his office, something about a missing manuscript."

She gulped; she couldn't face him. The last time they were together, they were tangled in sheets as if they had never been apart for over a decade. And then he seemed so happy the next morning… before she had given into John, which Ezra didn't know about. And frankly, Aria couldn't bear to tell him. She couldn't tell him that she might want to stay with John, not after Friday.

Aria stammered, "C-could you tell him I'm busy? I really have to finish revising this story and-" "I'm sorry, he said it was absolutely urgent."

"Of course he did," Aria muttered under her breath, her left eye starting to twitch. "Just… I'll be there in a minute." Ezra's secretary simply nodded and bowed her head before going back to her desk.

"Dammit," Aria murmured to herself once she was gone. She had no idea what to say to Ezra. Last he knew of, they were going to try and make it work, but now she was retreating back to John. And she knew that, because Ezra now knew he had hurt her not only emotionally, but physically, that he would try to do everything possible to talk her out of it.

After quickly popping three ibuprofen tablets down her throat, Aria got up and shambled to Ezra's office reluctantly, her arms crossed as if she were a child going to the doctor's. "The door is open, Mrs. Curtis," Ezra's secretary told her.

"Montgomery Curtis," Aria responded sharply before opening the door apprehensively; it had almost become a reflex to correct people instantaneously after they omitted the Montgomery part from her last name.

However, Aria didn't have time to think about her last name, because she was now in Ezra's office and he was staring at her. "Hey," he said with a smile while practically leaping from his desk chair. He strutted to her quickly and kissed her cheek softly. "How are you?" he whispered as he pulled away from her cheek.

"I-I'm fine," Aria stuttered, stunned at the sudden affection. In all honesty, that one part of her that always chose Ezra thought the action was touching, sweet. But the other part just felt even more remorseful for doing stuff with another guy behind John's back, even though John instigated all the cheating.

"How was the rest of your weekend? Why didn't you call?" Ezra asked in a rush, a little frantically but still in a chipper tone.

Aria bit her lip and rubbed her hand up and down her arm, which now had goose bumps. "I-I'm sorry, I was distracted."

"You still seem a little like that," Ezra retorted, sensing how off she was. His sanguine attitude ceased and he reached for her hand soothingly. "You aren't regretting what happened, are you?"

Biting her cheek, Aria stayed silent. Truth was, she didn't regret it one bit and that was the problem. Ezra sighed at her muteness and moved them to his office chair. "Aria, what is it? Am I freaking you out because we talked about… you know, trying to be together again? Or did something happen with John? Did he hit you again?"

Aria took about three seconds before bursting into tears. Ezra immediately panicked and rushed to her side. "Hey, hey, don't cry… Aria, talk to me," Ezra begged softly.

She gasped for air a few times, trying to regain her composure, but she just couldn't. "I-I-I can't, I can't," she stuttered into his shoulder while all the emotions she held in in the last forty eight hours or so poured out.

"Aria, breathe… Breathe, and then we can talk about what's wrong," Ezra whispered, trying to contain his surprise at her maelstrom of emotions. Finally, after a few minutes of rubbing her back soothingly and whispering assuring phrases into her ear, her sobbing ceased and she managed to breathe nervously. "Do you want to talk about it?" he whispered.

Aria gulped and murmured, "I didn't leave John… W-when I went home, he apologized a-and…"

"And you accepted his apology? After what he did?" Ezra asked, stunned.

"Ezra, please, I can't talk about this now."

He stared at her with utter shock, not wanting to believe that she would choose some abusive, disloyal man over him. "Then when, Aria? When can we talk?" Ezra asked, trying to keep his clear frustration out of his tone.

Sighing and biting her lip, she shook her head. "I-I don't know if it's the best idea talking, Ezra… I'm trying to make it work with John and…" Ezra looked at her like she was absolutely insane and she looked away, not being able to hold his gaze. "Don't look at me like that," Aria muttered.

"Aria, there are obviously things we have to talk about though," Ezra said desperately, not wanting to accept that she would have sex with him and then avoid him at all costs.

"Not here, okay? I'm working and you should be too," Aria mumbled with a huff.

Ezra grit his teeth before nodding. "Fine. Fine… Could we meet up somewhere later? Could you come over to my place? I really need to talk to you."

"I-I need to talk to you too, but I just-"

"Please," Ezra interrupted.

Aria knew it was a horrible idea to get even closer to him, but as she looked at his pitiful face and puppy dog eyes, she couldn't say no to him. "Fine. What's your address?"

XXX

"So, I talked to my boss today," John said while Aria clicked through her emails. She nodded him on, prompting him to continue. "I'm going to take some time off. I explained that I needed more time with my family and I'm going to be using some of my paid vacation days and he said he understood."

"But you are still getting paid, right?" Aria asked, still staring at the bright laptop screen.

John nodded, but then answered verbally since she wasn't looking up at him. "Yeah, yeah, that's all handled… Are you okay?"

Aria sighed and answered, "What? Yeah. Yeah, I just had a long day at work." Truthfully, she was on edge because she wanted to go see Ezra, but wasn't sure how to get around to it. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was already about six o'clock and she wanted to get to Ezra's soon. "Hey, I have some shopping to do and I said I would have dinner with a friend from work, so I better get going. Are you okay with handling dinner?"

"Yeah!" John said enthusiastically, trying to prove that he would do anything for her and everything she needed. "Yeah, you go have fun… What time will you be home?"

Aria sighed, honestly not knowing. She partially expected to go and see him and be done with the conversation in twenty minute's time, but Aria also wouldn't be surprised if she and Ezra talked for hours on end. "I-I don't know, maybe ten?"

"Okay, well, have fun, I guess," John said with a soft smile. He bit his lip before asking hopefully. "C-could I sleep in our bed tonight? Or should I stay in the guest room?"

She rolled her eyes slightly, since he had been trying for ages to get back in bed with her. "I don't know, John… I know you're trying, and I appreciate that, but I'm still not over it. You… I can't believe you did this again and I don't feel like I trust you again yet."

John huffed sadly, but nodded. "I understand. I just wish you could."

"We're getting there," Aria said gently as she finally looked up at him, even though she wasn't sure her statement was true or not.

(A/N:) So, what do you think will happen when Aria goes to Ezra's place? Leave your suspicions in a review!

And also, because I feel so bad that you all had to wait so long, here's a preview for chapter 22!

They continued the small talk for all of dinner before Aria finally had to break it. "Ezra, we have to talk about what happened, or what will happen…"

Ezra sighed heavily and wiped his mouth with a napkin before asking, "Well, are you sure you're staying with John?"

"I'm not sure about anything anymore," Aria muttered.

He bit his lip and got up from the chair he was sitting in and moved to sit beside her. "What do you want, Aria?" She opened her mouth to answer, but he added, "Don't think about anyone else, say what you want."

She chewed her lip at the massive question before answering simply, "I want to be happy."

Remember to review! Love ya'll! – Mandy xo