Chapter XXI

Warning

(Paine)

I stared at Landon with a blank expression on my face. Both me and death seemed to be included in the same subject quite frequently these days. I wanted to laugh at the irony. I see that I still have a strong affinity for bad luck. That's one thing about me that's never going to change.

"And what is this discovery exactly?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't exactly expecting Landon's discovery to be a sure-fire way for me to escape, but what the hell? I was willing to try anything once, even if it was going to kill me.

"Kaiser has a few...classified records in the library and I happened to stumble upon them a few days ago. I found a few files in the early days of this organization about a few members that found a method to free themselves permanently. They were hoping that in doing so they would be able to leave The Invisible, no harm, no foul. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it but in the files it said that they expelled all their energy at once, causing a cataclysmic explosion of their element. We both know what happens when we expend that much energy. Regretfully, that's the only thing I've been able to find." Landon eyed me carefully at the end of his explanation, gauging my reaction.

Frankly, I was just as confused as I was before he started talking. "I still don't understand. How did doing something like that free them?"

"I'm not even sure I understand it either. Every member that has attempted to expel their element has died but nothing about any surviving from it."

I narrowed my eyes at him, feeling rather disappointed. Well that helps my situation a whole bunch. I was hoping that he would have been able to give me something more. I almost felt like I had been let down somehow. "So that's it? There's nothing else?" I asked. It felt like I was trapped in the bottom of a very deep, very dark hole and the rope that Landon had lowered down to pull me up had just been ripped away right when I had been about to grab it.

He shook his head and I felt my shoulders droop. "No, but I'll keep searching. There's got to be some way, some loop hole that I'm missing."

I nodded and sighed, folding my arms over my stomach. "Thanks," I mumbled. My feet dragged across the floor as I turned to leave. Saying I was disappointed was putting it mildly.

"There's something else you should know about me before you go."

I froze in mid-step, my eyes so wide I thought they were going to pop out of my skull. Had I just heard...? Had Landon just...? No, it couldn't be possible... Surely I must be imagining things. All the drugs that Kaiser had pumped into my system must be driving me insane. I slowly swiveled my head around to look at him, utterly shocked that I had just heard his voice in my head. But Tobias said... It can't be...

"Alright, you need to start talking right now," I said, advancing on him. "How can you do that?"

Landon chuckled, probably finding my current state funny. I was too occupied on getting answers to care about getting angry. All I cared about was finding what the hell was going on. "I was brought here against my will as you were, about a year after you escaped. Around that time is when Kaiser stopped scanning for those who have the gift of telepathy. I discovered my abilities on my own."

I had heard what he had said – oh, I had definitely heard it – but my mind was still trying to wrap itself around the fact that I wasn't alone anymore. Landon possessed the same abilities I did and he was on my side, he was trying to help me get out of here. How in the world had I gotten so lucky and why? Why now? Why couldn't this have happened, say, nine years ago?

"Some things have to fall apart for other things to fall together, Paine," Landon said, his mind voice echoing inside my head.

I almost jumped, he had been following my thoughts. Payback is a bitch, Paine, I reminded myself. I shouldn't have ever read Baralai's mind without permission.

"So what now? Is there anyone else like us?" I asked anxiously.

When Landon shook his head I wasn't surprised. I knew that I was expecting way too much when I asked him that so it didn't really feel like I had been let down. I knew that I couldn't get lucky twice in one day. "There are a few that possess the gift but none of them are even aware that they have it." He paused and narrowed his eyes. I felt a slight pricking in my mind; he was reading my thoughts again. I wasn't exactly sure if I should be angry at him for not asking permission before invading my mind. He had probably been doing it for so long to everyone else that it had become instinct. I felt him withdraw a second later.

"It seems that you've been talking to one of them."

I frowned, not following what he had said. "Who?"

"The young one, Tobias. He possesses the gift."

I had to hold my hand over my mouth to prevent my jaw from unhinging and falling to the ground in a heap. Remember how I said that I couldn't get lucky twice in one day? Well, scratch that. The fates sure were favoring me today. I weaved my fingers through my hair and started to laugh.

Landon's eyebrows furrowed, his eyes filling with confusion as he looked at me strangely. "Why are you laughing?"

"I just find this whole situation oddly amusing. I know that I shouldn't but I can't help myself," I said, going to stand on the glass dome that encased Lord Zaeon's statue. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I want you to teach me how to project my thoughts like you just did."

Landon smiled and nodded. "It's very simple actually. Just concentrate and think clearly. Try it."

I reached out and touched his mind, briefly surprised by how silent it was before I realized that he was probably hiding his thoughts to help me concentrate. I wasn't sure what I wanted to project first so I just settled for the first the thing that came to my mind. "Can you hear me?"

At first I wasn't sure if I had done it right but by the look of astonishment on Landon's face I knew I had done it correctly. "Very good! I'm amazed by your level of control. I didn't expect your thoughts to be so clear."

Frankly I hadn't expected it either but I had been practicing my mental control before coming here. That factor probably helped a little bit. "I was like this when I was younger too," I told him, hoping it didn't sound like I was bragging.

He narrowed his eyes again and I could feel him once again poking around inside my mind. Since my thoughts were still connected with his I let my irritation over his intrusion show. He pulled back a second later and completely withdrew from my mind. I did the same.

"Who is...Baralai?" He questioned.

A lump settled in the bottom of my throat at hearing his name spoken aloud. It was almost as bad as actually seeing him. I tried not to let my discomfort show but that was a losing battle. "He's my mark," I said, managing to find my voice.

An emotion that I couldn't decipher passed across his face and was gone in an instant; his features once again a perfect mask. "That's a tragedy. I can tell he's very important to you."

"Yeah." That lump jumped back up my throat and made my voice crack. I turned away from his penetrating, icy stare, almost feeling embarrassed.

"I can also tell that you want to see him again. Why don't you?" Lovely, I thought. He's much more perceptive then I thought.

"When I left I said a lot of horrible things to him." I could barely move my mouth. It felt like my jaw was being held together by glue. "He probably hates me now."

"Does he know he's been marked?"

I shook my head, a numb feeling seeping into my heart. "No, I didn't want to tell him." I felt the urge to say more but I held back. Landon didn't need to know everything about my screwed up relationship with the New Yevon Praetor. And believe me, I just wished that everything could be normal.

He nodded his head in contemplative thought, his dark lashes covering his eyes. "If you want him to survive, which I'm quite positive you do, don't you think it would be wise to warn him?"

I blinked, thunderstruck. "How do you expect me to do something like that? How do you expect me to tell him that I'm going to kill him?" By the time I was done speaking I was practically screaming. I couldn't even fathom the idea of doing that to him.

Landon eyed me evenly. "You want Baralai to survive, do you not?" He sounded agitated.

"Of course I do!" I yelled back, becoming agitated as well.

"Then you need to warn him," he said, his voice surprisingly calm and level. "If you don't he will die. Warn him and he might be able to get away from you."

I opened my mouth to snap back at him but stopped, realizing that he was absolutely right. If I didn't give Baralai some kind of warning he was definitely going to die by my hand. He was right; I did want Baralai to survive. I wanted that more than my own life. "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "You're right. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I need to warn him." All of a sudden I felt an extreme sense of urgency to get to Bevelle as fast as I possibly could.

"Don't leave for Bevelle just yet, Paine," Landon advised, approaching me. "Wait until later tonight."

I nodded, not needing to ask why. I had to get a few hours of sleep and eat something before setting off. "Thank you for all of this," I said, not really sure what else to say.

"There's no need to thank me. Now go."

Without being told twice I swiftly left the dome and teleported back to my room. I stared down the hall towards my room, wishing that I could just go and collapse on my bed but knowing that I needed to eat first. I sighed and walked towards my door, hearing the soft footfalls of the other members as they made their way down to get their dinner ration. I had made it back just in time.

I blended in with the crowd easily enough and once I had obtained my ration, I beat a hasty retreat back to my room where I could eat in privacy. I was famished and quickly scarfed down my food faster than I could swallow it, almost succeeding in choking myself. When I collapsed into my bed the dim numbers on my bedside clock read a few minutes past eight so I set an alarm for eleven and was fast asleep as soon as I shut my eyes.

When my alarm went off promptly at eleven I was still exhausted and was thinking about turning back over but the thought of seeing Baralai again helped rise me out of bed. I sloppily strapped my sword belt on and teleported out of my room, appearing a few miles away from the hideout. I decided to traverse Mt. Gagazet until I reached the Fayth Scar just so I wouldn't exhaust myself too much. I had to camouflage myself because Kimarhi had posted Ronso guards inside the mountain. The Ronso knew me but I didn't want them to tell Kimarhi that they had seen me, which would prompt him to tell Yuna. That was one chain reaction I wanted to stay far away from.

As soon as I reached the Fayth Scar I teleported into Baralai's backyard and uncloaked myself. I didn't want to completely exhaust myself and end up passing out like I had last time. I didn't have anyone to carry me back if I did. I gazed across the yard towards Baralai's house, my heartbeat quickening when I saw almost every light in the house turned on.

I took a deep breath and, still visible, set off towards the house. If he was anywhere near a window or even paying attention to what was going on outside I wanted him to see me and know I was coming. The dining room light was spilling through the sliding glass door so I slid down the wall and peeked through the glass. When I saw my reflection in the glass I had to hold myself back from gasping in shock. My eyes were glowing like a pair of simmering embers, just like every other member's eyes. The frequency with which I was using my powers was finally starting to show.

I tested the door, finding it unlatched, then slid it open. The metallic whine set my teeth on edge as I slid the door back closed and locked it. Baralai was getting way too careless.

I quickly scoped out the rooms as I made my way through them, looking for Baralai. Not in the kitchen or living room. In his bedroom? No. The light filtering into the hallway from under his office door told me that he was burning the midnight oil.

My hands started shaking as I slowly made my way to the door. A million different conflicting emotions flooded my mind the closer I got to his office. I was absolutely ecstatic about seeing him again, but I was afraid of what his reaction would be to seeing me after what I had done to him. It had only been a few days and I knew his wounds were still fresh.

My hand was clammy as I wrapped it around the doorknob. I had to keep reminding myself why I was here so I wouldn't turn and run out of his house as fast as I could out of fear of what I would see in his eyes. I took a deep breath and twisted the knob as slowly and quietly as I could. I paused before pushing the door open, anxiety making my arm go numb. I could tell he was awake by the shuffling of papers that I heard in the background. I was glad he was awake because I wasn't so sure I would be able to wake him up to talk to him.

All of a sudden a cold shiver of fear shot down my spine. He didn't even realize that I was here. I could be here right now to kill him and he didn't even know I was on the other side of his door.

I took a deep breath and shoved my fear away. I was here for more than just to warn him. I was here to undo some of the damage that I had done and hope that he would forgive me. I let go of the knob and pushed the door open, bracing myself for Baralai's reaction. As soon as his eyes met mine he went rigid, the muscles in his neck stiffened and I could tell that he was fighting to keep a straight face. I sucked in a huge gulp of air because I had been holding my breath.

All the things that I had come to tell him fell out of my head. Because of all the drugs that Kaiser had pumped into my system it was like I hadn't seen his face in years. He is...so beautiful, I thought to myself.

Baralai rubbed his eyes as he slowly rose from his chair. He licked his lips and took a few steps away from his desk, his eyes never leaving mine. "This is real, right?" He asked, sounding skeptical. "I'm not hallucinating?"

My mouth suddenly became as dry as a piece of ancient parchment at hearing his voice. In response to his question I reached up and pinched my wrist through the thin material of my uniform. "If it is I never want it to end." I was stepping out on a limb by saying something like that but I was hoping that it wouldn't backfire on me.

I waited in anticipated silence as we stared at each other. I was guessing that he was deliberating about whether or not he should believe me. After all, the last time I had spoken to him I had completely broken him.

I saw his chocolate eyes moisten and his throat momentarily clenched as he swallowed. "Me too," he choked out.

At that moment I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I uprooted my feet from where I had planted them in the doorway and flew towards him faster than I thought possible. His arms were like a vice grip around me as I collided with his chest. I was smiling as I mashed my face into his shirt, a great sense of relief washing over me as I realized that he had accepted me. That was one of the things I was most frightened about, of him not accepting me when I saw him again. I had expected him to push me away but I was glad that he hadn't.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled into his shirt, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'm so, so sorry."

He was silent as his hands clutched at me and as he weaved his fingers through my hair. "Why?" He whispered. I didn't have to ask what he meant by that one simple question. I already knew what he meant. He wanted to know why I said those horrible things to him. He wanted to know the real truth.

I took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth, when I told him that he was marked for death and that I was the reaper. I could have just as easily mumbled it into his shirt like a coward but I needed to look him in the eye. I pulled away from him and just wanted to melt right there in his arms. His eyes were even more captivating up close.

"I've got an answer to that, but I'm not so sure if you're going to like it," I said, almost whispering.

He set his mouth in a grim line and swallowed again. "I want to hear it." There was no mistaking the confidence in his voice. He was ready. His sanity needed this.

I quickly explained to him about the mark system and the rite of passage ceremony, talking so fast that I thought my jaw was going to fall off. By the end of my long tirade I still wasn't ready to tell him. "My rite of passage is in two weeks...and you're my mark."

Baralai's eyes widened and his hands clenched the material of my uniform, his fingernails digging into my back. He had most definitely not been expecting this. I could sense that another 'why?' was getting ready to fall out of his mouth so I jumped into the explanation before he had the chance to speak. "Every member has to kill someone that is important to them for their rite. That shows Kaiser their undying loyalty."

"How is he going to make you do something like that?" He questioned, his voice surprisingly calm.

"For the past few days he's been giving me regular injections. I'm not sure what this drug is doing to me but it's changing me somehow. It makes me think and believe things that aren't true. It's making me forget you."

All the color drained out of his face, leaving his skin a sickly tan color. It looked like he was about to be sick. "And you're warning me?" He rasped.

I nodded. "I should have told you about this sooner. I know that now. I just came to tell you that the next time you see me I'm gonna be here to kill you and you need to do whatever you can to get away from me. Can you do that?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head, a distant look in his eyes. "It'll be hard, but I'll try."

"Thank you," I said, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. I did my part so now I was going to have to let the cards fall where they may. "I have to go now before someone notices that I've been gone." I started to move away from Baralai but his arms tightened around me, refusing to let me go.

"Wait," he pleaded, guiding my face back towards his gently with his hand. He grazed his fingertips across my cheek and down my neck to my collarbone. I couldn't help the goose bumps that danced across my skin at his touch. "You have no idea how much I've missed you," he whispered as he inched his face closer and closer to mine.

Right before our lips touched I jerked my head away from him. "Baralai, I don't think we should," I said through clenched teeth. Holy Shiva, I wanted to kiss him so badly.

"Paine, just humor me, please," he begged, his voice sounding a touch desperate.

I looked back at him and, after a moment's hesitation, I leaned forward and crushed my lips against his. It took a second for Baralai's mind to register that I had initiated the kiss and after that time seemed to slow down. Goosebumps popped up all over my back as he grazed his tongue across my teeth and ran his hands across my hips and up my sides. This is where I belonged, right here with him. This is what I had been waiting for and I couldn't even stay here to enjoy it.

My time was growing short so, with my hands, I memorized everything about him; his chiseled chest and abdominals, his strong arms, his muscled back, – his lips I was already working on – and his soft, powdery white hair. I wouldn't allow him to become a nameless face in my memories. I would fight it as hard as I could.

I broke off our kiss much too soon and fled out of his office. I could hear him chasing after me but I knew that he only wanted to watch me leave. I hastily unlatched the sliding glass door and threw it open, flying through it so fast that everything around me became a blur. I wanted to look behind me as I took off into the trees but I persevered and kept looking straight ahead. Once I thought I had gotten far enough away I stopped, camouflaged myself and teleported back to Zanarkand.