Chapter 21

"Okay. This isn't going to be easy." Nathan and Draco were sitting on their beds, facing each other. "Draco… there's good reasons why I haven't told you this before."

"I know," Draco said. "But you know that we're not going to get anywhere if there's a big secret between us." Nathan blew out a big sigh.

"I know." He looked around the room as though trying to find something to hide behind. "Okay. Um. Did… did Matt tell you anything?"

"Matt tells me lots of things," Draco said, suddenly nervous for a new reason. "Does this have to do with Matt? Are you… interested in him or something?" Nathan looked him in the eyes for the first time since they'd entered the room, honest confusion on his face.

"As in… interested in Matt the way you and I…? Draco, where on earth would you get an idea like that? Matt's just a friend, you should know that. He didn't tell you that, did he, because if he did…"

"He didn't tell me that," Draco said hastily. "He just… never mind. I'm being ridiculous." He looked at his roommate. "No. He didn't tell me anything about what you talked about. Just that you needed to talk to Weasley." He hesitated. "I've thought through option after option of what you might tell me, but I want to hear whatever it is from you."

"Draco…" Nathan closed his eyes. "Have you ever heard of the disguise potion called verkleiden liebe?" Draco thought back to his potions classes.

"That's… a disguise potion, isn't it? It's very tricky to brew, but it lasts as long as necessary, unless…" he trailed off, realization hitting him like a runaway train. "Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it does."

"I don't think I can tell you that without lying," Nathan said quietly. "I've been using the potion the entire time I've been here."

"You've been in disguise this whole time you mean," Draco said flatly. "You've been pretending that you're someone else. That's the real reason that you didn't want me to kiss you on the lips. It would show who you actually were." He tried to hold down the panic that was steadily rising in him. The more that he learned, the more he suspected that his fears were closer to the truth than he liked.

"I didn't want to lie to you," Nathan said. "Draco, everything I've done with you, all the times that we spent together here, those were real. How could they not be real? You're you."

"But who are you?" Draco asked. "Nathan, all those times were real, but how can I know if what we had was real if I haven't even known the real you?"

"You have! I didn't change my personality just because I changed my appearance!" Nathan looked at Draco, his blue eyes full of desperation, his face pale. "I could never have faked the feelings that I've been feeling towards you."

"We kissed in the cave that time," Draco said. "How did you get out of that one?"

"My house elf. I had him ready to bring me more potion if I needed it for some reason."

"So how much of your past is a lie then? You have a house elf, you had a godfather. Were you really homeschooled? Is your age even correct?"

"My age is the same as yours," Nathan said hotly. "I wouldn't lie about something like that."

"The homeschooling?"

"…That was a lie. I created a false persona in the records of the Ministry in England, and those got transferred here."

"You're from England." Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. "You're from England, you're in disguise, and you had to talk to Weasley today. Nathan, I really want to be wrong right now." His voice caught despite himself. "Please tell me that this isn't going where I think it is."

"Draco…" Nathan reached out a hand. "Please, I don't want it to have to be like this."

"Kiss me." Draco looked Nathan dead in the eyes. The other boy was now white as a sheet.

"I…"

"If this is going where I think it is, and if it's going to have to end, then I want to at least have one more memory with Nathan before he leaves forever."

"I don't want it to end," Nathan protested. "I want to try and work through this, if we can. I'm not just the old me, there's Nathan in there too…"

"We both know what's not being said," Draco said quietly. "We both know, and we both know that there's no way that it could ever work once it's in the open. No one would let it stay this way, not from your side, and not from mine. I don't even know if I can forgive this. But I want to pretend that you're the person I fell for until I have no choice but to admit the truth."

"I haven't been lying to hurt you," the other boy said quietly. "I never did it because of that." Draco leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to let it go, knowing that when he opened his eyes he wouldn't be able to deny it any longer. It couldn't last forever, though. The two pulled apart, and Draco looked into the green eyes across from him.

"You shouldn't have lied, Potter," he hissed. "Because whatever trust there was, whatever feelings there were – they're gone now." He pushed the other boy away and walked out of the room, blindly pushing past someone walking the opposite direction from him, leaving the black haired boy still sitting on his bed, staring after him.

Harry closed his eyes and mentally listed every swear word he knew. Draco had turned and walked away from him, anger and betrayal apparent on his face. He hadn't been able to do anything to stop him, because Harry knew he was right. If it had been him in Draco's shoes, he would have been angry too. But at the same time… it hurt. It hurt because he hadn't wanted things to end that way. He'd wanted longer to try and make it okay again.

"…Harry?" Harry opened his eyes and sat up, startled. Ron was peering nervously around the still open door. "Can I come in?"

"Ron? What are you doing here?" Harry stared. "I… yeah, you can come in." The redhead entered the room and closed the door.

"So… I guess that things didn't go as well as planned?" He asked, looking uncertain of what to say. Harry groaned.

"That would be putting it mildly," he said. "He probably doesn't even want to see me again at this point." He sighed, putting his head into his hands. "I don't suppose you have an extra room I could move into?"

"We do, actually," Ron said quietly. "I… came because Hermione thought things might turn out this way. Because of what you told her the other night." Harry looked up at his friend to see him looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Wait, she told you about that?" He asked.

"She wasn't going to, but when I told her about… about Malfoy, she thought it would be a good idea," Ron said awkwardly. "Since she can't really come into the dorm because she's a girl." The two friends were silent for a good five minutes before Harry spoke up again.

"You don't seem as upset about it as I would have thought," he said.

"Well… to be honest, I was kind of upset," Ron said, looking embarrassed. "I freaked out quite a bit at first. It… still doesn't really make sense to me." He came over and sat on the bed next to Harry. "But Hermione yelled at me, and she was right. I hate it when that happens."

"What did she yell?" Harry asked, curious.

"She told me that I was an idiot," Ron said matter-of-factly. "She said that we'd been mates long enough that this shouldn't be enough to make that change. Then she threatened to set birds on me again, like she did that one time sixth year." Harry smirked.

"Yeah, I remember that." Ron cracked a small smile too.

"Yeah, I was a bit of a git then," he said. "But the point is that she was right. You're my mate, and this shouldn't change that. Although I might have to question your taste if you're going for Slytherins." Harry jabbed his friend in the side with his elbow.

"I have better taste then you," he retorted. "Remember a certain Lavender Brown? Maybe a necklace she got you?"

"Okay, okay, point taken," Ron said hastily, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Really though. It's going to take some getting used to, and I can't guarantee that I'll be… comfortable about it for a while. But I'll do my best." Harry smiled.

"Thanks Ron," he said. "I don't deserve you guys, you know that?"

"No you don't," Ron said cheerfully. "Isn't it good for you that you have us anyway?" He pulled out his wand. "Let's get this stuff packed up so we can take it over to our spare room."

"We can take a shortcut," Harry said with a small grin. "Want to scare Hermione?"

Hermione was finding it impossible to sit still. After she had told Ron what she thought was likely going on between Harry and Malfoy and managed to calm him down, he'd left in a hurry to try and help his friend. That was half an hour ago, and she was worried. If things hadn't gone well for Harry, Ron might just make things worse. She just wanted to see both of her friends and know that things were all right. Hermione blew out a breath to cool down the mug of tea that she had cupped in her hands.

"Hey Hermione, that smells good." The tea went flying as Hermione jumped about a foot in the air. She turned to see Harry standing behind her, smiling nervously. Ron, behind him, had his wand pointed at the tea, which was now frozen in midair.

"I- how – you – where did you two come from?" Hermione spluttered. Harry winced.

"Sorry, we just wanted to surprise you a little," he said.

"There's these handy little house elf tunnels," Ron supplied, putting the tea carefully back in the mug and pulling it out of the air to give back to Hermione. "Here, you look like you're about to have a heart attack." Hermione placed the mug carefully on the table and stood to throw her arms around both Harry and Ron at once. Both boys stiffened a bit as she hung onto them, tears rolling down her face.

"You're both… huge… idiots…" she sobbed. "I was so worried and you just pop up behind me as though nothing happened and… and…"

"Hey, it's okay Hermione," Harry said nervously, carefully patting her on the back. "Really. We're both here now."

"So you can stop trying to strangle us now," Ron said. Hermione pulled back and glared at him.

"That's all you can say? Ron, I've been here, waiting patiently for both of you, and we're all finally here together again, and all you can say is that I'm trying to strangle you?" Harry raised an eyebrow at Ron.

"I think she's a bit angry," he said teasingly. Ron's ears turned red.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked Hermione. "I've been trying and trying the entire time we've been here to help you, and to do what'd best for all of us, and you just keep getting angry at me." Hermione flinched.

"I don't know what I want," she retorted. "I just… I just want us all to be happy again! That's all I've ever wanted!"

"Then I'll make you happy," Ron shot back. He stepped forward and lightly kissed her on the lips. It was only the second time they had kissed. After the War, Ron had seemed too preoccupied with the losses that his family had suffered to talk about what had happened between him and Hermione before the final battle. Hermione hadn't wanted to bring it up, but now that he was kissing her, she felt as though she was melting. He pulled back and glared at her.

"Happy now?" He asked. Hermione could only nod wordlessly, her face hot. She wasn't sure which of them was blushing harder right now.

"And people say that I'm stubborn," Harry said with a sigh. "You two." Hermione squeaked a little.

"Harry, I'm sorry, we shouldn't have… I mean, after…"

"Hermione, it's fine," Harry told her. "I told Ron on the way here that he was being stupid about this whole thing. Just don't turn into one of those couples who blocks everyone else out, all right?" Hermione smiled a little.

"All right," she said, reaching out a hand and shyly twining it with Ron's. The redhead smiled sheepishly down at her. "But Harry… are you all right? I mean, if you're here… it didn't go well…?" Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah…" he said. "He didn't really take it well. I don't really blame him, I shouldn't have lied in the first place." He sighed. "I've kind of made everything into a big mess."

"You haven't messed everything up, mate. You still have us," Ron said. "I told you Matt didn't hate you and I meant it."

"You've defeated one of the most evil wizards of all time, Harry," Hermione put in. "You can't just give up. No matter how annoying it can get sometimes, you never give up." She smiled. "We still don't have clearance to return to England yet. I'm sure that you can spend a little more time here and figure out what to do next." Harry looked surprised.

"Hermione… I thought you'd want me to come back as soon as you knew the truth," he said. Hermione made a face.

"Harry, I think I've made enough mistakes by interfering with your choices," she said. "You have the time you need, you have friends behind you. If you're the person I think you are, you can still make this right."

"I told you it stinks when she's right," Ron put in. Hermione gave him a look. He just grinned back. Harry laughed a little.

"Thanks guys." He took a deep breath. "Then I guess first thing's first. Kreacher?" The house elf appeared with a crack, causing both Ron and Hermione to jump a little. "I'm going to need some more of the potion…"