I stare at him in shock as a cold numbing feeling spreads through my body. What is he saying? What does that mean? Why am I not breathing?! I slowly let out the breath I had been holding and force myself to stay calm. He'll explain to me, he always does.
"What I mean is we can't be together right now." He says in a rush.
"I can't take the chance of anyone finding out about us. They'll say that I favored you and then kick you out of Dauntless. I can't lose you after I just got you back." He looks in my eyes intently, willing me to understand. And I do understand, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still disappointed and hurt.
"So does that mean if I do get into Dauntless, then we can be together?" I ask tentatively.
"WHEN you get into Dauntless we'll be together. I promise." I feel the hope begin to bloom inside my chest again until a thought chills me to the bone.
"But what if I don't get into Dauntless? What if I become Factionless?" I look away from his eyes and stare at my hands clasp in my lap. Tobias covers my hands with his own and then lifts my chin up so I have to look him in the eye.
"If you leave, then I leave too. You're the most important thing to me and I'm not going to lose you right after I just got you back. Besides, don't worry. You have this. Just concentrate. You're stronger than them, you just have to figure out how to use your strengths." His faith in me ignites a fire that I didn't have before. I can do this. For him, for us. I WILL be Dauntless. I throw my arms around Tobias and hold him close.
"Thank you Tobias, for everything." I say. We sit there hugging for what seems like a long time but who know how long it really was. Finally I break up the hug and stand up, nervously pulling down on the bottom of my dress.
"So I guess I'll see you at training tomorrow. More fighting, yay." I say with a rather pathetic laugh. Why do I feel so awkward now? Tobias must have noticed my uneasiness because he raises one eyebrow the way he does. I'm really kind of starting to love it when he does that. He stands up and takes a step towards me.
"Hey now, you can't leave before I get a goodnight kiss." He says with a smile.
"I thought you said we couldn't be together right now?" I ask kind of confused. Again.
"Just because we aren't together doesn't mean I can't steal a kiss from you now and then." He says with a mischievous smile. I can't help but smile back, and my stomach tightens in anticipation of his kiss. Oh so slowly he moves closer to me and tilts my face up just a little bit. I close my eyes as his wonderfully soft lips touch mine. It's a short, sweet, simple kiss and I love everything about it. Too soon he pulls away and I know I should be leaving. I walk to the door and see the same look of longing on Tobias's face that is on mine. Before I can change my mind, I slip out the door and take a moment to calm my nerves. After a few deep breaths, I head back to the dorm knowing Christina will be there waiting for me.
As soon as I walk through the door of the dorm, Christina grabs ahold of my hand and drags me over to my bed.
"Where have you been!?" She asks excitedly.
"Just wandering around. Peter tried to kiss me. I'm not sure if I really like these makeovers you give me."
"PETER TRIED TO KISS YOU?!" She exclaims, eyes wide with surprise.
"Yes, and I blame it all on you." I say matter of factly. She shrugs it off and then begins to tell me all about what she and Will had been up to while I was gone. It was nothing really interesting but she sounded excited about it. I have the distinct feeling that something is going on between those two besides friendly companionship.
Finally once Christina has finished talking I get up and change out of the dress and boots. Once I have a more comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt on, I lay on my bed daydreaming about Tobias. Suddenly Christina is in my face and snapping her fingers, telling me to hurry up do we could go to dinner. Reluctantly I get up and slide on a pair of shoes. Mentally I sigh. It's going to be a long final couple of months if I always have Tobias on my mind. But then again, I wouldn't want to be thinking about anyone else.