Author's Notes: So I feel kinda weird posting this, to be honest. It's been a year (exactly a year yesterday actually). I have no excuse for not writing except life sucks xD I always told myself though, that I would finish writing this.
A little something about this chapter: I actually wrote most of it a long time ago and the last Miley section was written today. I purposefully didn't go back and change the beginning because I wanted to demonstrate to myself how much my writing style has changed because of what I've gone through these last few years.
I've gotten a lot of reviews and alerts from new and old readers, but there is only one person I'm dedicating this chapter to and that's Alvinfan07. She's the one I've heard from the most about SAA, and I apologize profusely for not updating sooner.
Without further ado:
Screening an Apology
Miley
I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. Which really wasn't the best thing, seeing as how I was driving.
Lilly held my hand in her lap, tracing words on my skin. My girl. Love you. Be mine. It kind of reminded of those conversation hearts that people get on Valentine's Day. Those were my favorite candies as a kid.
We weren't talking much at first. We let the radio play, oldies of course. It was almost like being a teenager again.
We're one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
I was driving towards the Lincoln Memorial. It was my favorite place in the city. Especially at sundown. Lilly didn't ask me where we were going. I saw her look up from my hand often, just to offer me a radiant smile. My insides were doing the conga.
---
Lilly
What bliss! If I wasn't confined to this car, I'd be dancing around like a monkey. I was guessing that we'd be out soon though. Miley looked like she had a sense of direction.
And lo and behold, we arrived at the parking lot next to the Lincoln Memorial. I grinned and busted out of the car, dashing to her side before she had finished unbuckling her seatbelt. She looked up at me as I opened the car door, laughing. "Gee Lilly. How gentlemanly of you."
There were the first words she had said to me since we saw each other at the restaurant. How anticlimactic.
"Why thank you Ms. Stewart," I pointedly called her by her maiden name to see what she'd say. She just smiled and took my offered hand as I helped her out of the car.
Miley grabbed on to my arm. "Come on," and she started pulling me towards the memorial.
"Whoa, whoa," I laughed as I looked up the steps. "Do we really have to go all the way up?"
She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. "Of course."
---
Miley
We reached the top step, and sat down. It felt like some kind of high. I was here, in my second most favorite place in the world, with her. With my Lilly. How unreal it seemed to me.
Sighing, I laid my head on her shoulder, and she held me close to her. I felt her gaze on me, and I almost got self-conscious. "Yea?" I asked, laughing a little.
"Oh nothing. I was just thinking how insane this is," Lilly chuckled. "You're finally mine."
A wormy feeling of guilt slid through my throat and settled in my stomach. "Yea… except for the fact that I haven't actually left my husband yet…"
She shook her head against my hair. "I figured. At first I thought you probably already had. I broke up with Bree last night, so I thought you might've done the same. But your situation is a bit different, isn't it?"
I frowned. "Just a little. I still don't know what I'm going to tell him. Or what I'm going to tell my kids. Or what I'm going to tell my dad… On the upside, my brother will be ecstatic."
Lilly laughed loudly. "Your brother. That's funny."
"I'm serious. He was the only one I ever told about you... I still remember him staying with me all night once, when I first realized-" I stopped myself there. Even if I was with her now, thinking about those last few months of my senior year still hurt to think about.
I knew Lilly understood when she murmured, "Yea. I know."
There was a short silence in which I tried to push back thoughts of my first, depressing year in college. Then Lilly pulled away from me slightly to take my face in her hands. My breath caught as I looked up at her. Her eyes were traveling all over my face, and I couldn't think. My brain literally shut down all operations. Then she smiled and kissed me softly. When I opened my eyes again, she was still smiling. "Miles," she started, and the sound of my old nickname spoken from her mouth sent chills up and down my spine. "We'll take care of everything. If you want, I'll be there to help explain to your kids. I can go with you to tell your husband. And I demand to be there when you tell your dad. Point being, I'm never letting you go again. You are mine, married or not. And I am yours. I was always yours."
What could you say to something like that? My mind was blank. I hadn't felt these kinds of things in years. She was awakening every one of my dulled senses. "I-I," I stammered. "I… uh…"
Lilly laughed and hugged me tightly. I let myself be held, closing my eyes to tears that were threatening to come. Aw, I'm such a damn sap.
---
Lilly
As I held her, I could hear her trying to say something. At first it came out as a strangled whisper. I guessed she was crying, so I just held her tighter. Then I could hear what she was saying. I got that swooning feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"I love you Lilly.
---
Miley
Back at Lily's suspiciously empty hotel room, we stood across from each other and stared. Simply stared. I felt the tension as an electric current. Years- so many years- made themselves known in the space between us.
I had her at my fingertips. There is nothing- nothing- like attaining something you wanted this bad, for so long. It's possibly the best feeling I have ever experienced in my entire life.
She strode across that empty, electric space to meet me. Just as I had crossed years of agony to find her today. Her lips met mine and devoured me. I could hardly keep up with the hunger she was exuding. She had me against the wall with both my arms over my head while her mouth moved to my neck and collarbone. With teeth, tongue, and lips she made me hers again. Her hands slid down my arms and I dropped them to encircle her waist and press her closer to me. She tangled her fingers in my hair; I slipped my hands under her shirt. She maneuvered me away from the wall and, still embracing, our lips still consuming each other, led me to her bed. I let myself drop on top of the covers and Lily landed on me, none too softly.
Discarding clothing, inhibitions, the past, the current predicaments of the present, and all the problems we'd have to face in the future, we made love to each other in a way that I had not experienced since the first time we did this. This is what love is. I had been missing out on this for so many years. So many tortured nights of letting my husband fuck me while I felt nothing and gained no satisfaction. This was different. This was the direction my life was supposed to have gone in.
This is where I belong.
Author's Notes: So there you have it. I give every single one of you who will review the permission to hound me relentlessly until I update again and get this damn thing done xD