This chapter is based on the rules I saw in a programme I watched when I was younger. I thought they fit the bill perfectly for this chapter. Enjoy
8 Simple Rules
Yume sat in her room with Mika, the atmosphere was giddy with their favourite music playing in the background and the wardrobe doors flung open to reveal the treasure trove of clothes Yume had collected in her short teenage life. Mika held up items against herself while Yume decided if it was a 'yes' 'no' or 'maybe' for her firs evening out with an actual live boy she was not related to. It took years of slowly inching away at her Ba and dad to let her date and she envisioned the best evening of her life. It was not big fancy or expensive, but simple and tasteful. The food would be vegetarian and they would chat just the two of the about the ups and downs of life. A movie sounded great and since overly emotional chick flicks weren't her scene she knew they'd have no trouble finding a gore fest or action movie they'd both jump at.
"This one's nice" Mika smiled happily at the green Chinese styled blouse. Yumes assessed it properly a hand on her chin her eyes deep in thought. 'Would Ba and dad let me out in this? It covers and its cute, the many laces and buttons mean it looks difficult to remove, another plus for the parents. To top it shows my Chinese heritage, it's a talking point' Yume clapped her hands together once her decision had been made.
"It's a winner" Yume smiled brightly at her friend taking the top and beginning to put it on. The guidelines her Ba had set out for clothes were never ending. He wouldn't allow skirts, shorts, halter necks, spaghetti straps, 3 quarter length trousers, skinny fit clothing, sheen clothes, strapless tops, make-up, and heels higher than 2 inches. On and on it went. She knew they were just poor scared fathers hoping to keep their little girl forever but forever was taking too damn long for her. With black silk ribbons to tie her hair up and a pair of black straight cut trousers that matched her emerald top. Silk shoes much like the kind her Ba wears finished it off and she was pleased with how much older it made her look.
"What do you think?" she asked her friends advice knowing she had Anna's brutal honesty.
"Wow… you look a bit like your dad… but in a girl way" Yumes shoulders slumped down in disbelief
"Oh my gods… you think I look like my dad!" Mika put her hands up in surrender
"I just meant you look really Chinese, not that you look like a guy. I think you look like you should be dating a college guy not one our age" Grimaces at the thought of some of them "they just stop growing mentally once the diaper comes off and they can pee on their own" Yume laughs at that, knowing too well how rule it was for high school boys. Lee was different though, he was debate club leader and the busiest guy in school, he did well in class and even did a lot community work. He asked her out on a date while cleaning up the school grounds with 'club green'. Cute, just as popular as her, environmentally aware and did she mention cute?
"Well, this has to be the one. If Ba says no then I'm going nude" Yume takes a deep breath before going downstairs to face her family. Horo and Ren sat together on the sofa watching the clock, the battle plan simple. Horo planned to make him as uncomfortable as possible, to deter any return and Ren was going to put the fear of god into him to make sure he tries nothing with her. Even Luka sat up at the end as if waiting for the boy to arrive. Even though Luka was now an old dog he was still the big attack dog Ren trained. As Yume came down the stairs Horo and Re stood to inspect every detail of hat she had on. As she came into sight they both stopped in amazement at how grown up she looked. The thought of what a teenage boy might see fell from thought as their young lady came down and span once for them.
"If you say no to this, all I'm left with is my ski jump suit" she looked at them hopeful of a yes. Horo and Ren smiled signalling a good answer.
"You look beautiful" Horo said softly making Yume smile "You look just like Ren" Yumes smile was wiped clean off, her fists clenched ad her foot came down in an angry tantrum
"I DON'T LOOK LIKE A BOY!" with that she climbed the stairs again stomping out each step
"Make sure you have a coat!" Ren shouted after her before shaking his head at Horo in disappointment
"What?" Horo pouted not understanding why his words offended, he thought Ren looked amazing. Everyone was brought out their thoughts by the doorbell. Showtime, the curtain was raising and it was time to let tis boy know just whose daughter he was taking out. Before Ren even got to the door Luka was there barking loudly, the sound enough to scare even the braver men. Ren opened the door only to see the boy was 5 paces back from the door probably after hearing Luka. He looked this boy up and down. Tall with dark hair and brown eyes he looked average. His clothes were in style with the youths of today, oversized and hanging down with scuffed up trainers. This was what he planned on wearing? Ren scowled at him while Luka sent him further back with growls and barks. Ren allowed this for a few moments before he felt satisfied he knew how good a guard dog Luka was.
"Heel Luka" Ren said once in a firm voice, Luka obeying immediately, sitting and staring at his possible dinner for the evening. The boy didn't step forward just from his safe distance tried to collect his words together
"Hello… I'm Lee… does Yume live here?" he asked shyly. Ren looked him up and down assessing him before answering
"Yes" He said plainly, Horo coming to the door too wrapping his arms around Rens waist snuggling in
"I-I'm her date" The sight of Ren intimidating as planned but Horo looking taller and heavier built with the plus of being openly gay made him feel like he would be fucked if this went badly.
"She's not ready yet, you'll have to come in and wait" Ren spoke in orders not in requests stepping aside with Horo so he could enter. Lee edged in not sure which would jump out first Ren or Luka. Ren closed the door behind him and walked through into the other room. When Lee paused unsure to follow Luka growled making him move in the hopes they may consider calling him off if he attacks. Horo pulled out a single chair and placed it dead centre of the room.
"Sit" Horo said to him with an almost Ren like authority. Lee did not hesitate and sat as instructed, taking his coat off and folding it over his lap. Horo went to stand behind Ren who had seated himself in a chair opposite leaning down and whispering in his ear inaudible to Lee
"He's stripping off already" Horo wrapped his arms around Rens neck getting cuddly to try add that factor of discomfort to the situation. Ren though, did not falter in his cold hard expression.
"I already know who you are Lee Sato and where you live and how to contact your parents. You are going to programme your personal cell number into this phone" Rens voice flat and serious. Horo straightens and tosses a phone over Lee barely catching it. "This I so WE can contact you at any time we feel it necessary" Lee looks at them confused but when Rens eyes narrow sending a cold feeling down his spine he quickly does as instructed holding the phone out for Horo to take back. Once in his possession Horo presses dial, luckily for him his phone is heard ringing in his coat Horo hanging up. Lee makes the mistake of talking without instruction to do so.
"How did you find out where I live? A-and how to call my parents?" he asked hoping for clarity
"How doesn't matter, just that we know and you should be aware of it. We have Rules that you follow without fail or hesitation, so listen carefully" Lee gulps as Horo and Ren in turn list the rules
"Use your hands on my daughter and you'll lose them after" Rens serious expression not leaving him.
"Ren's a martial arts expert, he can kill you a hundred and one ways with just his hands" Horo holds up a single hand.
"You make her cry, I make you cry"
"Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health"
"Bring her home late, there's no next date" Ren continues
"10pm sharp, a minute past is not acceptable so your watch better be a damn good one"
"No complaining while you're waiting for her"
"If you're bored, change my oil" Horo gestures outside to where his car is
"If your pants hang off your hips, I'll gladly secure them with my staple gun" Horo makes a clamping noise of a stapler clamping down to emphasise Rens words before adding his own.
"So better tighten your belt now"
"Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book. You understand our rules?" Lee nods frantically, eyeing the unfolded Kwan-Dao resting close by. "Good, I'll tell Yume you're here" Ren stands "watch Luka" Ren commands Luka, the German Sheppard dog sitting directly in front of Lee growling a little as he just watches him licking his lips like he's assessing how good he'll taste.
"Yume! Your date is here!" Ren shouts sending glare over to Mika Koby and Bre who perched themselves on the staircase watching and listening from a safe distance. All three of them quickly evacuated out of sight. Yume came running down coat in arm and bag over her shoulder.
"You didn't scar my date for life did you?" she looks up accusingly at her Ba. As short as Ren is she still is much more petite.
"We just… talked" Ren not going into detail on it
"You and dad are unbelievable" she glares at her Ba before leaning up and kissing him on the cheek goodbye "Love you Ba… until I find out what you 'talked' about then that might change" next she goes in and hugs Horo kissing him on the cheek too "bye dad" she smiles at her date who's still frozen to chair unmoving "Ready?" she asks looking adorable and friendly in front of her date. He nods but when he goes to stand Luka growls in warning
"Heel Luka" Ren says boredly, Luka sulkily wandering over to Ren. Lee finally and slowly stands getting a glare from Horo who looks down at his sunken pants. Lee instantly pulls them up tightening his belt. Yume grabs her dates hand and walks out the door with a final wave, Horo cuddling behind Ren as they watch her leave. They don't close the door until she's completely gone. Now they wait, if he's late back with her you can tell hell would break loose.
-Yumes Return-
Horo and Ren watched the clock like it was a bomb ticking down to an explosion; the clock had just turned over 9.15pm when they heard something outside. Quietly Ren and Horo went to the window seeing Yume and her date had returned early. Without making their presence know they watch to make sure her date doesn't become too hands on. Yume got to the door step turning to look at her date with a frown; it was a nightmare of date from start to finish. Everything she envisioned was flushed down the toilet. Without so much as the offer of a hand shake Yume says her goodbye
"Good-bye Lee" as she was about to turn to open her door Lee leaned in as if to give her a good-bye kiss. Ren and Horo held their breathe just seconds away from going out there to beat that kid senseless for trying to kiss her on their door step on a first date. Without a seconds hesitation she puts a hand on his chest and pushes him back out of her personal space. "Touch me, for any reason and I'll break you in two" she steps up to him threateningly him backing up "just because I put up with you long enough to get me home does NOT mean you can kiss me" without another goodbye she turns and goes in the house, Lee eventually shifting and walking away after the shock of getting left in the cold settles in. Horo and Ren quickly dart away from the window and try to act natural, as though they weren't waiting on her.
"Yume? Is that you?" Horo calls through trying to act and sound natural, receiving a dirty look from Ren at how badly he stunk at it. Yume walked straight to the stairs
"I know you were watching!" Yume walks up the stairs, she would talk to her Ba and dad about her date maybe but it would be after some much needed cooling off. She knocks on Kobys door waiting for him to open the door, once he does she goes straight in needing to vent at something. Koby merely blinked and slowly closed the door.
"Yeah…?" With her getting back from her date thought she'd be rubbing the details into Rens and Horos face at this exact moment before it clicks. The date went bad. "That bad huh?" sits on the bed while she paces the room. By this point Ren and Horo were at the door listening. Yume was no fool after waiting a moment or two went to the door banging on it loudly.
"Go away! I'll get to you two later!" her yelling loud enough to wake the dead, even Kaidon appeared in support of Koby in sight of her wrath. Horo and Ren Both looked at each other unsure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, good she didn't seem to want to go on another date with that boy or bad that he did something bad enough to wind her up this much. They eventually after being waited out by an impatient and angry young teenage girl they go downstairs.
"Ok Yume… what gives?" Koby asks his curiosity as to how she could be so angry after finally getting the date she had always wanted
"You boys are all pigs, you act like you belong in civilised society and walk on two feet but your all PIGS!" Yumes pacing resembling Rens infamous furious back and forth, the carpets in this house warn from the two of them doing it.
"Would you stop pacing and insulting me, I didn't do anything wrong here" Koby defends, inching back just a little when she stops to glare at him.
"Your gender are very wrong!" her temper barely even beginning to fire up. Koby sigs in defeat
"So, what did my gender do to you tonight? Did they forget to open the door or tell you how pretty you looked" Koby mocked slightly, sometimes Yume had a delusional standard of how thing should be
"I don't care about any of that; I just wanted a standard date, the usual nervous simple stuff people do when they like each other. I didn't want to be taken to the local burger bar trapsed around a table like a cattle at market so he could prove I said yes to a date." Her angry look turns to a more upset one "Apparently I'm frigid, a 9 for looks and 3 for personality" She finally sits crossing her arms protectively. Koby puts a hand on her back.
"You ended up at the jock spot then… you know you should be flattered, 10's in personalities to them are girls that can't spell their own name" He offers her a small grin; it does little to cheer her up. "So…. I'm guessing that was the start and finish" he immediately knew that was incorrect
"It was the middle" Her face crumpling up in distaste "The start was him buying me meat when I said I was a vegetarian, 3 times. All 3 times he said 'babe, you can't come to the steakhouse and not get a meaty burger'. I didn't eat a thing, I had water, but only because he said 'you girls are always watching your figures right?' I would have said he was being cheap but I gave him the money for the food and drinks!" She lets out a huge sigh feeling more foolish than angry now
"You really put up with that?" Koby sounded shocked
"I just kept thinking any minute now it's going to get better, oh how wrong I was. The final straw was he invited his whole 'posy' to the movies. His friend called shotgun so I was in the back in between two guys who for the whole trip there sat spread eagle knee to knee with each other" She cringed at the memory.
"Then what?" Koby unable to believe his sister had patience like this
"His friend grabbed my ass and I crushed his tiny testicles like they were grapes at a vineyard. I told Lee if he didn't take me home right then and there I was going to kick him so hard he would never walk the same again. He spent 30 minutes lost unable to remember where I lived before finally; the last straw was trying to kiss me on the doorstep" Looks extremely disappointed. Koby shifts to sit by her and puts an arm around her shoulder in an act of brotherly understanding, she sighs letting out the last bits of her frustration "I thought he liked me… but apparently dating is just about finding the best looking girl and flaunting them and bedding them"
"Maybe for some guys, the ones that really like you and would probably take you on a real date aren't popular, they aren't always great looking and they are usually too terrified of girls like you to ask" chuckles a little to himself "Heck you terrify me and your half my size" Yume grins
"I could still kick your ass" She smiles in her proud fashion again
"Next time you decide to go on a date, don't pick the one you think fits the criteria you set and pick the one that actually interests you" Koby puts his arm down and lets those words sink in
"Easy for you to say, you're dating you're best friend. You've known Bre forever" Yume envies that a little bit. "Must be nice find it so easily?"
"…It is… but at first it wasn't easy, I mean, she might not have liked me, then what? I'd have lost my best friend" Kobys admits honestly
"I guess… well I'm not a lesbian so I better start widening my circle if I'm going to find my friend-boy" Yume stands and smiles "For a brother, you're not completely useless" picks up a pillow and hits him with it "Tell anyone I said that though and I'll tell Bre about that poem you tried to write about her" Kobys eyes widen in surprise, had no idea she had seen that, he picks up a pillow and hits her back
"Stay out my room!" Koby receives another hit with the pillow
"Make me!" Yume laughs, the laugh cut short by a pillow to the face; she stands stunned for a moment before the pillow comes back again. She puts her arm up defending her face and the fight continues.
Meanwhile, downstairs Horo and Ren were pacing wondering if it was their fault, maybe the scare tactics weren't a good idea but then how would they make sure a boy wouldn't try anything. All the pacing in the world wouldn't make Ren feel better. Ren wanted to go pummel the kid for making his baby girls first date a bad one. The ideas of what he could have done, maybe he tried to force himself on her, maybe he said something nasty to her or made her cry. Ren was at full boil over point going to grab his kwan-doa when he heard a muffled scream and the distinctive voices of Koby and Yume arguing. He steps away from his weapon heading up the stairs Horo following close behind. When they open the door the fight wasn't the one they expected. Yume sat on Kobys back pillow raised over her head while Koby clenched a pillow over his head trying to protect it from her onslaught of feathery attacks. Koby peeks out from his pillow at the door opening.
"Thank the gods, get her off me!" Koby pleads, only getting a swift hit with the pillow
"Weakling!" Yume laughs at her twin maniacally, Koby tips her off and hits her with the pillow her laughing and shouting at her Ba and dad who look dumbfounded
"Don't just stand there! Help me!" Now it's her turn to shield herself from the pillow getting a few hits in as she rolls out the way. Horo beams rushing over and picking up a pillow aiding his daughter
"Dad! No fair, she started it!" Koby out numbed retreats over the bed, getting chased by both Yume and Horo
"It's everyman for himself" Picks up Yume putting her down on the bed and hitting her with the pillow, her howling with laughter, they all do as they fight away. Ren just sighs at the sight, he had worried and for what? Nothing. When she first walked in he thought the worst but apparently, you just can't keep his girl down. It was getting to that time when she wouldn't need him anymore… but for now there was a boy that needed to be taught Tao Ren doesn't make threats he doesn't plan on following through with stepping back out the room and closing the door.
"I have 3 overgrown children…" Ren sighed to himself and went to retrieve his kwan-doa