Chapter 21
Bella.
Alice knew something was going down tonight, that we weren't coming home. I bet she didn't expect this. She knew she was staying over though, and Edward knew, if things went well, we'd be staying here in a new bed he'd bought-I'd made sure it was new-and now it's nearly morning, the light's starting to filter in through a small opening in the curtains and I lie half on top of him and stare between him and the ring on my finger. It's beautiful, I really do love it, and him. I have to say it, I know it has to come out but instead of working up to telling him once he wakes, I start crying and I don't even realize until it wakes him up and he starts asking me what's wrong.
I can't speak, I know it's now time to just say it, but I don't want to put the huge damper down on everything that's happened-he's not going to give up this time, since I woke him up in hysterics. ''What happened?''
''I'm so sorry.'' I start to blubber out. ''Sorry.''
''Don't be sorry-or at least tell me why you are?''
''I love you.'' I whispered out. ''I should have told you sooner, last week. But I-I didn't.''
''Tell me what?''
''I shouldn't have said yes before I told you.'' I swallow. ''I'm sorry.''
''You don't want to get married?'' He does sound hurt, but he sits up and doesn't let me go. ''Why didn't you just-''
''I want to, I do.'' I try to express. ''I-I didn't go shopping yesterday.''
His arms loosen a bit and he gently pushes me back a little bit to look me in the eye. ''Where were you?''
''I-'' The words get lumped and caught in my throat as I try to get it out, but instead I turn away from him to cough and try and breathe in.
I know I'm working myself up into a panic, but by now that's my specialty. He lies me back on the bed to try help me regulate my breathing. I try to breathe out my 'sorry' again but it doesn't really work or come out right.
''Please tell me something, you're scaring me here.''
I can't look at him, I know I can't. But I have to say it so I do. ''I was at the doctors-I, they're pretty sure I have cancer.''
He stares at me for a while, as if expecting me to tell him I was joking, but I'm not-I know I'm not.
''Pretty sure?'' His voice is low and pained, it barely comes out.
''They did some more tests to say for sure but they're nearly positive. I get the overall results today at three.''
''You went alone?'' His eyes-god the hurt and pain in here is too much to handle.
''No, I went with your mother and Alice. I didn't think-I didn't know if it was anything and I didn't want to worry you.''
''I'm worried.'' Once he said those words I'm back in his arms and he's hugging me tighter then he ever has before. ''Where is it?''
''Breast cancer.'' I sigh. ''I noticed...I lump. I was hoping it was nothing, or a cyst or something.''
''But it's not?''
''Probably not, no.''
''Did they actually say you had it?''
''More or less, they said the odds weren't good and to prepare that it probably is.'' I swallow. ''I'm so sorry.''
''Don't say sorry.'' He kisses me then-like he's scared he never will again. ''I love you.''
''I should have told you sooner.''
''Yes, but I'm not going to dwell on that. You're young and strong and if it comes down to it I know you'll be okay.''
''I will be.'' I try to smile, lie out something we know neither of us know. ''I can't leave you or the children.''
''You won't.'' He insists. ''We will get married, nothing big just family and close friends. We will have a future, and you will be there and fine. A lot of people get over cancer.''
Since it was caught early there's a really good chance I will be okay, but it could come back and there's the other option that Edward didn't say-that a lot of people die from cancer too.
A lot of people thought she was pregnant again-I hadn't planned in taking the story this way but it won't be heavily thought on. I was just writing and this came out so I hope you're not annoyed by it. I might update again later if you tell me what you think and if you're still reading! Thank you!