After Wulff and his nephew had left three dull weeks dragged themselves past before reports came of the mountain passes being open enough for the Inquisition to return to Skyhold. Lavellan more or less forced her people to march within days pulling ahead with the Ironbull and his Chargers the same day as the report arrived. It was more than a want to get away from Fereldan and all the shem politics. It was a primal need to get home. From time to time during their journey, it felt as if the fade itself put a spring in her step and lifted her closer to her fortress. Her heartfelt anxious for reasons she couldn't grasp. But one thought circulated in her mind like a nagging nervous mantra. She needed to get home.
It was with annoyed grumbles she resigned to Bulls demand that they'd stop and rest properly the fifth day. They weren't more than one day or two's trek from the fortress now. Her very bones felt itchy. Bull and his men didn't glare at her when she grumbled about them stopping, but she knew they wanted to. She was pushing them hard, and soon they were all tired and sore from the journey. Dalish had offered to keep watch while the others managed the food and some maintenance of blisters and other ailments that had risen as they scurried through the mountains.
"Inquisitor," the elf called out half an hour into their rest "Messenger approaching,"
"A messenger?" Ellana rose from the camp fire and joined the 'archer' on the boulder she was standing on.
"Looks like Harding," Dalish noted, "Why wouldn't they send a raven?"
"Maybe she just got sick of them dragging down her pace," Ellana muttered "I'll go and meet her,"
"Okay, Inquisitor. I'll stay here and keep an eye on you and out for wolves,"
Dalish had been right, as Ellana approached the dwarven messenger climbing towards their location she could clearly see it was Scout Harding.
"Harding!" she called out "Something amiss?"
"I need to talk to you, Inquisitor," Harding panted as they reached each other on the slope "Bad news I'm afraid. Wanted to tell you in person. A raven is no good for these kind of things,"
"What kind of things?" Ellana felt her heart grow cold with fear.
Harding hesitated, glanced at the Inquisitor and looked away again afterwards. Eyeing the woods to not have to look Ellana in the eyes as she told her;
"We got news from the Free Marches just a day after you left Crestwood. Your clan… they have been killed,"
It felt like lightning struck her. Ellana couldn't think, her mind went blank and there was a terrible chill going through her entire body as her brain registered the words.
"Inquisitor... I am so sorry… Are you all right?"
"What killed them?" she didn't even recognize her own voice, and Harding visibly flinched as the cold hard words rolled off Ellanas tongue.
"Humans, Inquisitor. The details are sketchy, but it seems that… that someone targeted them because of a pox that ravaged the area or something like that,"
"Huh," Ellana muttered and felt herself turn away mumbling "The Charges are behind that boulder. I… I need a moment alone,"
She walked into the woods, her mind not even noticing that people called her name. She felt numb. Dead. Her knees gave in and she floated down to the ground, down into the snow still piling up under the protection of the trees. The cold didn't register. Nothing did. It felt as if she was falling into a deep everlasting darkness.
Felthon. Deshanna. Neris. Pallen. All of her clan. Dead?
She couldn't breathe. She couldn't see. It hurt so bad. A primal scream rose from her lungs and echoed through the forest. Somewhere far far away she felt how someone put his hands on her, rubbing her back. Words were spoken, soft whispering words of comfort. It was as if they released a flood within her. She screamed, cried and roared at the skies. She kicked the ground in desperate grief and cursed the world for all the unjust things in it.
Time was a foreign concept for the Inquisitor out there in the woods. As she came to her senses she was laying in a sobbing pile and Cole sat by her rubbing her back once more.
"They would not have wanted you to be there," he mumbled "There was nothing you could have done to save them,"
"I should have been there anyway," she whispered "They were my clan,"
"Emma ir abelas" he mumbled stroking her hair "Now I am filled with sorrow. I understand that you are. I will fetch Bull. You are getting cold, and that is not good,"
"I can walk," she muttered and pulled herself up only to stagger a few steps and collapse in tears.
"Why?" she sobbed over and over again "Why? Have we not been through enough? Have we not suffered enough? Anything but this..."
Her sobs were interrupted by a crackling burning pain that almost made her faint and her scream as her hand lit up like a thunderstorm causing her to twist and spasm in pain the few seconds it lasted before it subsided. Unable to move she laid there in the snow sobbing and panting.
Cole wrapped his coat around her and hurried away, coming back with the Ironbull moments later. The big Qunari said nothing, just picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the camp keeping her in his arms as he charged towards his horse and ordered the Chargers to move.
"We are getting the Inquisitor home. Harding, Dalish, go ahead and give me the fastest route to Skyhold! Stitches, get me something to put her to sleep and to make that blasted thing stop glowing if you can!" she heard him roar and then heard him whisper to her "Do not give up. Please do not let this break you, kadan,"
Her mark was still throbbing and she burrowed her head against Bulls muscular chest clasping her arm and trying not to sob. She commanded armies. She knew she shouldn't break down like this. It was bad for morale.
She tried to fight when Bull and Stitches forced some kind of potion down her throat but she had nothing to put up against the Qunari when he actually wanted to restrain her. Soon she began to feel drowsy and even though the pain from her mark still came through the edge was taken away. The last thing she remembered was Cole wrapping her in her winter coat and Bull mounting his horse still holding her tight.
Deshanna was waiting for her as sleep wrapped around Ellanas mind. The Keeper looked like she always had, calm and content. She stroke Ellanas cheek and in her softest, most comforting voice she whispered;
"Elgara vallas, da'len
Melava somniar
Mala taren aravas
Ara ma'desen melar
Iras ma ghilas, da'len
Ara ma'nedan ashir
Dirthara lothlenan'as
Bal emma mala dir
Tel'enfenim, da'len
Irassal ma ghilas
Ma garas mir renan
Ara ma'athlan vhenas
Ara ma'athlan vhenas"
The same old lullaby she had in a quiet voice calmed Ellana with ever since her parents died. The Inquisitor cried and clung to her old mentor, only slowly realizing they were all gathering around her. Felthon with his stern face but kind eyes, Naris and Pallen looking mischievous as always, the others of the clan looking at her with calm and pride.
"We will always be with you, dhalen," Deshanna whispered drying the tears of Ellanas face "You are the last Lavellan, but also the greatest. We will live on forever thanks to you and your efforts for our people. Cry, grieve, but remember that you are never alone. You have family where you are now, and we will always be with you in spirit,"
"Did you suffer?" Ellana stuttered and Felthon scoffed
"What use would that information do you?" he asked and she tried to stifle a sniffle "For once, child, do not go look for information that will only cause you pain,"
"Whatever happened to us," Deshanna calmly interrupted "Know that we are in no pain or suffering any longer. Beware of the Dread Wolf, dhalen, remember the words of old. Ir tela'ena glandival, vir amin tel'hanin. Ir tela las ir Fen halam, vir am'tela'elvahen,"
"When we could no longer believe, we lost glory to war. When the Wolf won, we lost the People to war," Ellana mumbled "But he… Is he Fen'Harel?
"Time will tell," the keeper replied and started to fade as did the others "Stay true, dhalen, you are the best of us all. Stay strong, stay true. Mala suledin nadas. Dareth shiral, lethallan,"
"Please do not leave me," Ellana sobbed "I need you. I can't… Please..."
"You'll manage," she heard Pallens voice chuckle "You always do. We'll see each other again when you're done with what you are destined for,"
"No pressure," Naris piped in "But we expect you to take long and come with great stories of glory,"
"Oh, and tell Varric to take all the artistic licences he can writing our eulogy. We want nothing but the most outrageous heroics!"
She let out a sobbing chuckle, they were the same even in death. A soft sigh and Pallens voice softened, became more serious;
"Don't cry over us, Ellana. You know that we hate to make you cry,"
"Write a song instead," Naris suggested "Or drink yourself silly with friends. All we ever wanted was to see you with a smile on your face,"
"Live," Pallen whispered slipping away through the fade.
"Live for all of us," Naris concluded his brothers' words as they both disappeared with the rest of the clan.