Kagome POV:
Kagome found herself on a well-lit street corner under the night sky. She looked around and saw the usual: street lights, trash cans and the cars driving home late from work. She saw all this but didn't see anyone on the street. It was only when a distant street lamp started flickering that she saw the image of a man at a distance. She squinted her eyes in an attempt to identify the distant figure. She immediately saw that long silver mane and started running to this familiar person.
"Inuyasha!" she called out, but he didn't turn around to face her. In fact he did the opposite. He started running away from Kagome. "Inuyasha!!" she repeated. She felt the hurt from him running and began to run faster in an attempt to catch up to him. But her efforts were in vain. Try as she might, the distance between them only got larger; she felt tears welling up in her eyes and her heart got heavier and heavier. It wasn't until she fell to the ground and saw Inuyasha disappear into the shadows that she started sobbing uncontrollably. "Inuyasha...why did you run?" she whispered to herself.
Kagome was ripped away from her dream by the sound of her alarm clock. To her that meant that it was time to wake up, get dressed and go to class. But that sound also meant that she was gonna feel relief from her terrible nightmares.
She started getting them when they got back from Okinawa. Ever since they got back, she has felt that Inuyasha has changed...different somehow...more distant...almost as if she has lost interest in her. She doesn't like to entertain that thought in her head. It hurts her too much to even think about losing Inuyasha. But she can't help have that lingering feeling that it might happen...that sometime in the future, it will happen.
The alarm was still blaring annoyingly telling her to wake up and get her out of bed. She stretches to get rid of the sleepiness in her body then moves to press the snooze button on the clock. She usually never had to do that before. It was always Inuyasha that woke her up with a soft kiss on her lips before she had to move and turn off that alarm. He usually did that for her. But lately that hasn't happened.
Kagome looked over to the empty space on the bed beside her and sighed softly. "Morning practice again huh?" she said with exasperation. "What the heck is wrong with afternoon practice?" she said with a cute pout. "I mean I get the fact that he wants some extra practice because the championships are coming in February, but lately it seems like his time for me is getting less and less. I mean...if I didn't know any better it's almost as if he's...avoiding me." She couldn't bring herself to say the last words out loud. It just hurt too much to think about.
"Well there's no use thinking about it. I have to get ready to go to class..." Without Inuyasha... Since the start of the new semester, new classes were picked and the couple was unlucky enough that their schedules didn't match at all. When a person had a break the other had class. They were only able to see each other after classes and practice were over. To Kagome...that wasn't enough time at all and only fed her suspicions that her and Inuyasha are growing apart.
Inuyasha POV:
Where the hell is my focus right now?!? I can't keep my focus in kendo. I think my team is noticing my lack of focus and that would just mess up with their morale and that shows poor leadership. My mind just keeps wandering...and I don't like where its going to.
Also...i don't want to admit it...but I may be neglecting Kagome a bit. She hasn't been on my mind as much as she used to. It's not that I love her any less, I just catch myself dwelling on the past and ...Kikyo.
I can't get her out of my mind since that day at the springs. All the things she said to me...were they all true? And if they were...What should I do? I loved her like no one else and the only reason it ended was because of that asshole, Naraku.
"Kyaa!" Sango yelled as she was coming in to strike Inuyasha. This snapped him out of his day dreaming but it did not give him enough time to react effectively to her attack. She hit him hard on the shoulder and knocked him down to the floor. Inuyasha sat on his butt looking like he had absolutely no clue what happened. He just gave Sango an unsure look and got back on his feet.
"That was a good strike, Sango" Inuyasha said as he gave a defeated smile.
"Actually, it was terrible. It was definitely too slow, too high and too predictable to have hit anyone as good as you" she lectured. "What the hell is wrong Inuyasha? You haven't been focused in practices at all since we got back. That's not the way a captain should act a month before the championship. You gotta get your shit together!" At that point everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and just looked. Inuyasha felt as if everyone agreed with Sango and they were correct in doing so. It just hurt his pride as the captain to have everyone think he's not doing his best.
At that moment he looked up at the clock and was relieved that it was time to end morning practice. They had to go to class after all. "Practice is done guys. I'll see you later this afternoon!" he shouted. He looked over to Sango and she had a look in her eyes that told Inuyasha she still wanted an answer. "I honestly don't know Sango. I just have a lot on my mind lately."
"Does it have something to do with Kikyo?" she asked with a bit of anger. Inuyasha looked away to escape her eyes but that only answered her question. Anger started to fill her.
"No...not really. I mean only a little. I'm just confused right now. I don't know what to do." All the rage that was filling up inside Sango exploded into a thunderous slap across Inuyasha's face.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, 'CONFUSED!!" Sango yelled. This caught Miroku's attention who was standing near the exit of the gym. He walked towards them in a hurry in hopes of stopping a fight.
"Sango..." Inuyasha whispered weakly.
"Shut the fuck up! You were so sure of yourself when you said that you weren't like those guys that hurt Kagome. But now you're telling me you're confused!! You have Kagome now; I thought you loved her; Kikyo hurt you. What's there to be confused about?!?"
"That's just it, Sango. I'm not sure if everything that we know up to this point is what they seem..."
"So what? You're just gonna break Kagome's heart and leave her?!!" Sango interrupted.
"No I would never do that" he said.
"Don't say things you don't mean Inuyasha" she said as she walked away. "Just know that if I see my sister crying...I will never forgive you."
Inuyasha clenched his fists tightly. All of what Sango said hurt him deeply. "Sango...don't tell..."
"I know. I'm not gonna tell her what's on your mind. It's only gonna hurt her" she said with sorrow and regret. "Let's go Miroku. Let's get to class." They walked on and left Inuyasha alone in the gym.
"What was that all about?" Miroku asked.
"He just has his issues to deal with."
Inuyasha POV:
I'm despicable...I don't deserve to be happy. And yet that's all I'm thinking about. I keep finding myself thinking of my past and what would happen if I bet my future on the past. Will it be the same as it was before? I didn't stop to think what Kagome is feeling. I feel like my curiosity for her will overcome my resistance sooner than later.
God Dammit all!
After morning practice, Inuyasha usually had Biology. However, since it's a new semester, it's the more advanced biology with new classmates and a new teacher, and the only reason why he passed Biology last semester was no longer in his class, Kagome. Inuyasha still can't decide whether or not her absence is a good thing. Because when one thing of importance disappears, something or someone usually replaces it.
Just as Inuyasha took his seat in the classroom, he looked up at the door and saw her walk in. She still had her amazing figure that he once lusted for, he remembered the nice feeling of stroking his hands through her silky black hair, and it wasn't long until he realized that he was staring at her. He just couldn't take his eyes off of Kikyo and she knew it. His staring made her feel confident. She had a little smirk on her face as she passed by Inuyasha to get to her seat.
Kikyo POV:
Geez Inuyasha. You're not being very smooth today ha ha. It's like you're not even trying to hide the fact that you're staring at me. The only thing that would make it more obvious is if your mouth was hanging open. It makes me feel good that I still have that effect on you, and I'm not gonna deny it; you still have the same effect on me. I want you back, but I'm not gonna make a move.
I don't want to steal you from Kagome. It's my fault that we ended up apart, I don't blame you or Kagome for what has happened. Which is why I want you to make the first move to know that if you still want me or not. If nothing happens then nothing happens. I won't push for our relationship back until you do. It's all on you Inuyasha..
Inuyasha POV:
She still looks the same as she did. She looks great; I can't deny that. I keep thinking of what she said to me back at the resort. "If you want to find me, all you need to do is look." was what she said. I just don't know whether or not I should be looking for her. I already have Kagome, a girl that loves me to death and a girl that makes me extremely happy. But...then again, Kikyo was once that girl. Kikyo was once the only one in my life that mattered. And then chaos happened; Naraku ruined my life and hers. It wasn't her fault at all that we got parted. Then doesn't it make sense that she deserves a second chance? But at what cost will her second chance come to? Kagome's heart? That's a really high price. I hate myself for being this selfish, but I feel like not even giving Kikyo the chance is just as bad. She did nothing wrong. If anything, her doing the right thing was what caused all this crap to happen between us. God Dammit...
I feel my soul being ripped in half over these circumstances.
Inuyasha spent the whole class brooding over this colossal dilemma instead of paying attention to the lecture. He wanted to come to a solid decision by the end of class but he didn't get anywhere near a conclusion. But in his mind he had set that he should at the very least talk to Kikyo. Just to get on friendly terms...but Inuyasha didn't exactly know what these "terms" entailed...
Class ended before Inuyasha realized it. As everyone was leaving the classroom he only noticed Kikyo as she walked out of the door. Inuyasha gathered his things quickly and hurried after her. He managed to get to her as she was turning the corner.
"Kikyo!" he said as he was jogging to her. He had caught her attention. "Can we talk for a second?"
Kikyo was all smiles and her face turned a shade of red. She didn't really know why Inuyasha wanted to talk, but it didn't matter to her. "Yeah, sure. What's up?" she said trying to mask her excitement. She didn't want to give it away. And surprisingly, as perceptive as Inuyasha is, he didn't notice her rising emotions. To her it seemed that his mind was in confusion. "C'mon over here so we're not in the way" she said as she led Inuyasha by a stairwell. "Soo...what did you want to talk about?"
"Umm...how should I start this?" He asked almost to himself. "Do you remember that time in the courtyard up in the springs?"
"Of course. How could I forget?" She said cheerily as she remembered the kiss they shared.
"That's just it. I can't forget either. I haven't stopped thinking about what you said since" he said with a worried look. "I mean I had this intense hate for you in my heart before...but after you explained what happened to you; after you cleared up the confusion, the hate disappeared and all that was left was..." Inuyasha trailed off as he looked down at his feet.
"What was left, Inuyasha?" she asked with a hopeful tone.
Inuyasha looked up with the same eyes that he looked at her with before...those loving eyes. "Love...I can't deny it. I still have feelings for you Kikyo. I mean after loving you so much...how can I just throw that love away when the thing that made me hateful disappeared?"
"Well...I'm sure you already know this but...I still love you too, Inuyasha"
"I know. I know. And I wish that making my decision is easy but it's not. I love you Kikyo but...I love Kagome too..."
"I know you do Inuyasha...and I don't blame you. She was the one that got you back on your feet when I left. I don't want to steal you away from Kagome because I'm actually grateful that she was there when I wasn't. Which is why I'm letting you decide this on your own."
"Kikyo..." he said in a whisper.
"But will you grant me this one bit of selfishness?" she said smiling. Before Inuyasha could respond, Kikyo pulled him toward her by his collar and gave him a deep kiss. His immediate reaction should have been to pull back and break the kiss right away...but he did the exact opposite. He accepted the kiss and kissed her back.
When Kikyo finally broke the kiss she smiled at him sweetly. Inuyasha just looked stunned but content in some way. "I'll see you around Inuyasha. I have to get to class, but we should definitely talk again" she said as she walked away.
When Kikyo was out of sight, all that feeling of happiness and contentment slowly crept out of Inuyasha's body. "What the hell am I doing?" he whispered to himself.
I'm sorry it took forever to post this chapter.
I hope you enjoyed Chapter 21!