Chapter 20

April 2nd

Catherine blinked her eyes open slowly. A smile graced her lips as she laid eyes on her sleeping partner. Sara had her arms wrapped around the blonde's back and her head nestled into her hair. Cath grinned and shuffled closer, placing a kiss on Sara's forehead. The younger woman smiled and a moment later her eyes fluttered open.

"Morning." She mumbled sleepily.

"Afternoon." Cath retorted, nuzzling her face gently. As Sara began to shuffle in her semi-awake state, it dawned on Cath that she could feel every curve; at some point of the morning it seemed their bodies had fused together. Rolling over, Cath pressed her back against Sara's chest, folding her strong arms around her like a belt. She revelled in the comfort, enjoying being able to feel every time Sara breathed and every beat of her heart against her back.

This was only the second time they had slept together; after Catherine's birthday things had gotten a little crazy at work and they hadn't had much time together. And those few days had been hell for Cath – she had never craved someone's touch so much in her life.

Since they hadn't much time to talk either, they had not discussed the three little words Sara had let slip. Catherine knew how she felt about Sara and was thrilled to hear that Sara felt the same. But, as she was finding, getting information out of the brunette was like getting blood from a stone. She knew Sara loved her, but she didn't know if that meant this was permanent.

Taking a chance, Cath turned onto her stomach in Sara's arms to look at her young girlfriend. "So Sar, are you interested in seeing more of me?" she tried (and failed) to sound blasé.

"There's more?" Sara asked cheekily, earning her a light smack on the shoulder.

"You know what I mean." Cath chuckled, snuggling against her. "Lindsey's okay with this, and Nancy's ... dealing with it." She explained, drawing an invisible pattern on Sara's chest with her fingertip. "So, before we consider telling anyone else...how serious is this?"

Sara hummed thoughtfully, tightening her grip.

"That depends...how long do you want me for?" she answered. Cath frowned, until she realised what Sara was saying.

"So, you reckon we can make a proper go of this? Long term?" The blonde queried.

"Catherine, I'm yours for as long as you want me." Sara spelt it out to her with a sleepy smile. Cath grinned back at her.

"Really?" She asked curiously, kissing her neck softly.

"I love you." Sara murmured, swallowing a moan. Catherine stopped her ministrations and looked at Sara closely. She wanted desperately to repeat those words, the words she had been dying to hear again, but they would not rise. So instead she threw herself on top of the brunette, kissing her with a passion she thought she had long since lost.

And it was that moment, lost in the heat of the flames, that the door swung open.

"Catherine!"

X x x

"Mom!" Catherine squealed, rolling off Sara and tugging the covers tight around them. Sara seemed to slink under the blanket, a shy blush on her face. Lily didn't even acknowledge Sara, she fixed Catherine with a stern glare and walked back out. Cath winced as the door slammed behind her.

She turned to Sara with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry honey; I have to deal with this." She kissed her quickly, all their earlier fire smothered. She stood up, allowing Sara a brief glimpse of her flesh, before donning a robe. "I'll be back. Stay here." She kissed her again and slipped out, taking a deep breath for what was about to come.

Cath crept downstairs cautiously, getting a sudden sense of déjà vu. This felt just like the time Lily caught her in bed with the teaching assistant when she was 16. That was not a fun day.

That feeling only got worse when she reached the lounge to find her mother waiting for her on the couch, that same 'You're in big trouble Missy' look on her face.

"You know next time you might want to knock." Cath joked nervously, trying to break the ice. It didn't work. Her mother just stared at her while she toyed with the belt of her robe timidly. God, now she was acting like a 16 year old too.

"Maybe I will. Otherwise I might catch you in bed with a woman. Oh, too late." Lily said dryly. Cath sighed and moved carefully closer to sit on the other end of the couch. "So what? You're a lesbian now? Is that what you're telling me?" Cath shrugged helplessly.

"I ... I don't know. This is ... different." She settled on at last.

"You're telling me." Lily scoffed. "That girl, she's from your work. Sara someone?"

"Sara Sidle." Cath answered, her voice suddenly hoarse. That tended to happen now when she spoke Sara's name.

"So, you're going to risk everything you've worked for, and throw it all away for some floozy you met at work!" Anger flashed through Cath's eyes.

"She's not a floozy!" she snapped.

"So what is it then? Midlife crisis?" Lily asked, throwing her hands up. All Cath could do was shake her head despondently.

"I don't know what this is okay, we're still finding our feet with it."

"You're a middle-aged single mother and she's a twenty something year old girl. You really think that'll work?" The older woman asked incredulously.

"She's 35." Catherine corrected. "And yes, I do." She answered honestly.

"Why are you doing this Catherine? Is this just another way of punishing me for not being there for you more? Stripping, drugs, Eddie. That didn't work so now you're going to sleep with a woman."

"No, this is not about you, mom. This is about Sara and I and we..." she trailed off. "Neither of us expected this to happen, it just did. And Sara has been so good to me these last few weeks."

"Oh, so this has been going on for weeks?" Lily asked. "And when were you planning on telling me? Hmm? That my eldest daughter has switched sides."

"I haven't 'switched sides'." Cath sighed. "I just...I really like Sara. And I know that if you got to know her you would too."

"Oh this is just classic behaviour isn't it Catherine. You rush into something new and dangerous, and you get your heart broken. You never think about the consequences." Lily stated, beginning to pace.

"You don't understand mom, we haven't rushed anything. And I know what I'm doing here. This can work. It will work." She insisted, rising to her feet.

"Catherine I don't want you pinning your future on this girl!"

"That almost sounded like an order." Catherine challenged. Lily just raised an eyebrow. Cath groaned and dropped back down onto the couch. "I'm 45. I'm hardly going to start looking for someone new now am I? Sara and I have known each other for years, I trust her." She paused thoughtfully, before descending on a different track. "When I found out about you and Sam you said to me that you two had a history together and that one day I would understand. Well now I do."

"This is not the same thing Cathy." Lily protested. "You're risking your heart on a chance that might never work."

"But it might."

"Yes it might." Lily conceded with a sigh. "But is that really a chance you're willing to take?"

"Yes." If Catherine's immediate, and somewhat forceful answer startled Lily then her next statement shocked her to the core. Finally, the words that had eluded her earlier found their voice. "Because I love her."

x x x x

:)