A/N: I'm so excited that I can update more frequently! I hope you're enjoying it.

CLARY

I feel numb looking at Simon and Amanda. A tinge of anger bubbles under my skin but it's immediately exuded by a feeling of guilt. I have no right to be angry after what I've done, I think, sliding into the backseat of a taxi. We're as guilty as each other.

The cab smells like smoke and leather mixed with a heady perfume. Mixed with the stench of guilt and remorse, I'm nauseated.

The concierge greets me gaily and I admire his ability to be cheerful and polite after 9 pm. The receptionist bids me good night as I stride past, desperate to reach the sanctity of my room. I clock the sapphire engagement ring on her finger. I envy her ability to know who she wants and know that he or she wants her in return.

Oh god. When did I start envying middle aged woman getting married? I need a drink.

The room I dark when I enter, closing the magnificently white door softly behind me and leaning against it. I can see Jace's silhouette, angled slightly as he leans against the fragile balcony railing. I watch the fluid motion of his arm raising the cigarette to his mouth. He is slim with layers of corded muscle covering him, the muscles flexing faintly in a sliver of moonlight. His gold locks curl to the base of his neck, blending into his skin washed out by the moonlight but contrasting with his black t-shirt.

I inhale deeply. I slide down the door until I've relaxed onto my haunches. I slowly unlace my converse and slide my feet out of them, revealing clear-polished toenails. They sink deeply into the luxuriously thick carpet and I steel myself before rising.

I know what I want now. I'm not sure if I can get it, but I know that I want it.

I pad slowly forwards, one step at a time. I reach the couch and use it to brace myself. I pause for a moment. I cross my arms and curl my fingers around the edge of my oversized orange t-shirt. I pull it, slowly, hesitantly, over my head leaving me in just my white camisole and sky-blue bra. I unbutton my khaki shorts and slide them gently down my legs, stepping carefully out of them. If I fall over here of all places I may shoot myself.

Jace has noticed nothing, the breeze ruffling his hair. I step out onto the balcony. I think about being seductive, trailing one hand down my side or leaning provocatively against the door frame but I dismiss it. That's not who I am.

I place a hand gently on his shoulder. He turns lazily and I panic. His trademark smirk lights his face as his golden eyes lock onto mine. I keep my hand on his shoulder.

It's immediately wiped off his face.

His eyes slide slowly from my eyes to my toes, like the first day after we arrived. Then it had been cold and calculatingly appraising. Now his glance was slow and appreciative.

"Clary," He breathes in a quick exhalation of my name. It's like a poetic litany dripping from his lips.

I pluck his cigarette from his hands and lean behind him, stubbing it firmly into the ashtray. His breathing is as quick and laboured as mine, his heart beating in an erratic manner that matches my own

He says nothing, does nothing and I know I've shocked him. Hopefully I haven't shocked him beyond bodily function. I was kind of hoping for some bodily function when I took my pants off.

I place one hand securely against his chest, my fingers vibrating from the thrum of his heart. I cup his cheek with the other. My movements are slow, definitive, reassuring him that this is what I want.

And praying to the high heavens he wants it too.

His hands lay still by his side until I pull his face to mine. His arms slide to my waist automatically and pull me close. Nothing lies between our bodies except for a few thin layers and my palm against his pectoral muscles.

I brush his lips in the merest imitation of a kiss and I feel that attraction again. It's like breaking through the surface of the water after drowning, scratching an itch, a swig of alcohol after a year of abstinence.

He kisses me back with fervour but it's nothing like our kiss at the club. That was a bruising, brutal passion like it would be our last kiss ever. At that point we both thought it was. This was like a first kiss, an ardent promise of many more to come.

His hands slide desperately splaying his fingers against my thighs. I swing my legs up around his waist and he groans as he supports my weight, leaning against the bronze, soldered railing. I run a hand through his hair, breaking apart for air.

"Man you weigh a tonne." He sighs, sliding his nose along mine, creating a building tension low in my stomach.

"Jace," I chastise, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Ok, um," He amends quickly. "You weigh a tonne of- of feathers." He looks mighty pleased with himself.

"A tonne of feathers weighs the same as a tonne of rocks. Or grand pianos."

"Well you don't weigh as much as a grand piano. Maybe a baby one." He allows.

I slap his shoulder. "That's it I'm not in the mood anymore."

He looks surprised. "I had not anticipated that." He flips us around in the way only Jace can until I'm perched precariously on the balcony. I let out a shriek of laughter and surprise.

He nips my shoulder with his teeth and we return to a feverish pitch of enthusiastic kissing. His hands support me so I know I won't fall but when he forgets himself to reach for my camisole, I scream.

He swears and then laughs loudly. I feel him shaking against me and I smile.

We can't stay here forever I think, just as Jace asks: "What do you want to do?"
His voice is uneven and unsure but his confident grin returns when I whisper one single utterance.

"Bedroom."

He growls low in his chest and scoops me into his arms. We continue kissing even when I whack my head off of the French doors. I gasp in pain while Jace's face alights with laughter. I open my mouth to swear at him but he silences my unspoken curse with a kiss. He opens the door with one swift kick and we fall haphazardly but united onto the honeymoon suite. Moonlight washes out our skin, turning us an identical silvery colour. I lay below Jace as he hovers above me, our mouths moving in perfect sync. I slip my hands under his shirt and feel the hard ridges of the planes of muscle. He rises up on his knees so he can unbuckle his jeans and I feel a flutter of foreboding.

I have to tell him.

"Jace," I begin hesitantly. "This will be my first time."

"With me?" He answers, sliding the ream of leather out of its loops. "Yeah I know."

"No, no." I cast my eyes around the room. "My first time. With anyone."

He freezes. "What- what about Lewis?"

I shake my head slowly and bite my lip. I'm not experienced enough for him.

He contemplates this for several moments of stretched silence, his blond hair falling into his elegant face. He's the most beautiful guy I've ever seen.

"Ok." He leans forward and gently kisses my forehead.

"Ok?" I look up at him through my eyelashes.

"Ok."

I smile and curl my ankle around the small of his back pulling me towards him. His mouth is unyielding against my kiss and it's my turn to freeze. He rolls off of me so we lay side by side.

"Why now?" He asks softly.

"Hmm?" I mumble confused. The potent scent of orange soap and Jace is intoxicating me.

He props himself up on his hand staring down at me. I know what I look like to him, some hot mess on Egyptian cotton sheets, tank top rucked up past my bellybutton, sky-blue panties and bright hair spread over the lilac pillowcases.

"Why do you want to do this now? What changed between us? When?"

I exhale. I want to be kissing him again. "Well I realised after I saw Simon at the airport that y-"

"You saw Lewis?" He asks sharply.

"Well yes."

"And what did he say?"

"He said nothing actually." I shrug. "I couldn't talk to him once I saw Amanda's hand in his jeans pocket." I add bitterly.

Oh shit.

Jace doesn't move a muscle. Well he doesn't move a muscle until he leaps expeditiously to his feet. He zips his jeans silently, running a hand through his mussed-by-me hair.

"Jace?"

He looks at me and his eyes are filled with icy topaz. "I wanted to be your first choice Fray, not your second. And now I don't want to even be that."

He glares at me and disappears from the moonlit bedroom.

A/N: Those two just can't work it out. Yet. Lots of love.