The Course of Nature

Chapter 21:

In Ren's apartment, some clanging of pots and pans can be heard from the kitchen, together with shuffling of feet. Inside the kitchen, Kyoko was doing her magic. She was trying to make some honmei chocolates for none other than, her boyfriend, Tsuruga Ren.

Today was already Valentine's Day, so Kyoko woke up real early in order to buy some ingredients, and to make the chocolates. Aside from that, Kyoko wanted to surprise Ren, so she made sure to wake up when Ren's asleep, and he wouldn't start work in four hours. Today was the first time they'd be able to celebrate, so Kyoko wanted to make it memorable, since she is going to leave in a few weeks time.

She was also planning on asking Ren about his schedule, so she could make a nice dinner later. She wanted to spend as much time with Ren as she can, and make more memories that she can treasure.

Now, though, she was concentrated on making chocolates. Even though she thought last time that Ren wouldn't like sweets, she wanted to make everything traditional, so that everything would look real. She started with roasting the beans. While waiting for them, though, her mind wandered about the talk they had a few days ago about Miyabe Takao.

She sighed. 'I can't believe he'd actually commit suicide. Yeah, well, I know the bastard was a psycho, but I didn't actually think he'd do something like that. He was even happy about it? I guess my death would have been the best give in his lifetime.' She shivered. 'Well, as much as I disliked him, I didn't actually wish for him to die.'

She looked a bit sad. 'I don't know what happened to you, and what the connection is between my parents, but I still feel a bit sorry for you. Having lost your parents, I empathize with the misery and sufferings you expereinced. It must've been hard on you, huh?' she looked up the ceiling, 'Living must have been such a burden for you. I hope you're happier wherever you are.'

She lowered the temperature in her roaster, as the beans started to crack. After roasting, she cracked the beans into nibs – with a hammer – and winnowed, whereby the husks (chaff) are removed. She did everything skillfully, and a bit absentmindedly, being very used to it in the years she's been doing it.

Then, she ground the nibs into a cocoa liquor, and conch and refined the chocolate. Then, she tempered the chocolates to ensure its shiny appearance. Finally, she molded the chocolates into some containers, and placed them in the refrigerator at the back part, knowing Ren wouldn't look that deep.

After that she started cleaning up the kitchen, fearing that she would get caught by Ren. All the while she was thinking. 'Still. I'm very thankful that I survived that. I really thought that I was going to die. Being shot by a gun, cut with a knife, targeted by darts…' Her face contorted with pain, and fear, as she vividly remembered the details of her experience. 'I thought that I would really leave this world… leaving Maria-chan… Yashiro-san… Otou-san… Moko-san… Taisho and Okami-san… and Ren.' At the last name, a tear fell on her cheeks. She finished washing the dishes, and cleaning up, so she just sat on a chair near a table.

'I won't forget how I felt that time. I felt so helpless. I felt so much pain. I never want to be in that situation again.' More tears fell from her eyes, and she tried to wipe them off, knowing Ren should be up by now, but it just won't stop. 'Feeling useless in that situation, being unable to stand up, knowing that your death is nearing, and that you're days are numbered. It felt like I was so trapped and paralyzed, and there's nothing that I could ever do about it.'

She continued to cry. 'I felt so scared then. All alone, without any support. I thought that I really was going to be alone forever after that. I would be trapped in darkness.' She tried to wipe her tears away, but she couldn't stop. She was now pouring out all the feelings she tried to lock inside her heart for days, in order not to worry the others. She felt so cold, not having anyone by her side. Ren was asleep and she didn't want to wake him up just because she was feeling like this.

'Why can't I stop? I have to stop! Or else I would worry everyone again.' she sobbed harder. 'But I can't. I just can't get the image out of my head. A world without Ren and the others is just so painful!' She buried her face in her hands, and tried to muffle her sobs. 'I can't stop myself from imagining it.' Thoughts of her being alone in a dark world filled her mind, and she can't seem to stop picturing it. It won't leave her in peace.

She suddenly felt alone. She started to crave for warmth – any kind of warmth to envelop her, anything to assure that she's not alone, and she will never be. Her face was still buried in her hands, so she didn't know that right at that moment Ren was starting to walk towards the kitchen after taking a shower, expecting to see Kyoko.

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Ren woke up in the morning, feeling light and happy. He went to the shower and took a bath, and then he went back to his room to find suitable clothes for work.

'Hmmm… I wonder what Kyoko is doing. I bet she's already up, cooking or something.' He smiled to himself and strode towards the kitchen. He was surprised when he heard muffled sobs.

'Is that Kyoko?' he thought, panicked. He quickly went to the kitchen, fearing that something might have happened to Kyoko, and sure enough, there was Kyoko, crying her eyes out, and not even noticing that Ren was there.

"Kyoko?" Ren asked. "What's wrong?" he was about to approach her, when Kyoko suddenly looked up with a tear-streaked face. Ren's heart broke just by looking at her face full of so much fear and pain. 'What could've caused this?'

Kyoko immediately ran to Ren, and hugged him tight. "Ren!" she cried harder and buried her face in Ren's chest. "Ren…"

Ren was surprised by this action, but he hugged Kyoko back, trying to stop Kyoko's sobs. "What's wrong, Kyoko? Did something happen to you? Are you hurt?" he said, a bit panicked.

"I thought…(sob)… I… alone… (sob)… I…. stop… it… (sob)… gone… scared…" she continued on and on, but Ren couldn't understand anything except that she was scared.

Seeing as she couldn't talk properly yet, Ren decided to let it go and ask about it later. 'Right now, what she needs is for me to comfort her.'

So they just stood there in the kitchen. Kyoko just poured out all her sadness, while Ren just hushed and comforted her.

When Kyoko finally calmed down, he carried her bridal style to the living room, and sat her on his lap. Still being a bit scared, Kyoko didn't protest, and instead just clung onto Ren.

"Now, Kyoko, what's the problem?" Ren asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I'm sorry." Kyoko said guiltily, and she looked down. "It's just that I was thinking about Miyabe, and then… I…I suddenly recalled all the things that he did to me, and about how I felt." Tears once again started to fall, and Ren hugged her closer to him.

"I felt so alone. I thought I would really die. That I'd leave everyone else and that… I'd leave you." Her voice broke and more tears fell. "It was full of so much darkness and nothingness. I couldn't stop myself from imagining it."

"Sssshhh… Kyoko, don't worry. It's alright. I'm here right now, aren't I? You're here. You're not alone, Kyoko." Ren said gently, while stroking her cheek. Ren knew that it was weird that Kyoko didn't feel even a bit traumatized at first. 'But I guess she tried to keep it to herself, just like what she usually does.'

"And there's no need to be sorry, Kyoko. You can pour you heart out if you want to. I won't stop you. Don't lock up your feelings inside you. I'll be here for you." Ren's face contorted in pain, though, as he once again remembered Kyoko's condition when he found her.

"Arigatou." Kyoko smiled weakly at him, and hugged him tighter. "I love you, Ren."

"I love you, too." He kissed her head.

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Ren was driving in his car with Yashiro on the passenger seat. Ren was still a bit worried about Kyoko. 'I wonder if she'll be alright. I shouldn't have left her in my apartment like that, and I shouldn't have allowed her to go to work, but that would just make things worse.' He sighed, and Yashiro looked at him, surprised.

'What she needs right now is to talk to other people and to assure herself that she's not alone. Still, I'm worried, but I really need to prepare for later. Besides, it might make her feel better.' He smiled a small smile.

Yashiro, on the other hand, misinterpreted it, and so he grinned slyly. "Ren, did Kyoko-chan already give you your chocolates?" he asked.

Ren just nodded to Yashiro, still a bit distracted.

Yashiro was a bit disappointed at his reaction, but was nonetheless happy for them. "You must be so happy, Ren! Where is it? Where? Did you eat it already? Was it delicious? I'm sure it was." Yashiro continued to blabber, until they arrived at the studio.

Ren sighed, "Yashiro-san. We're already here. I think you should stop that, unless you want people to think you're weird."

Yashiro stopped, and realizing Ren was right, just settled into a grin.

Ren sighed again. "Anyway, have you prepared about what I told you a few days ago?"

Yashiro smiled wider. "Of course, you can trust me about that. I've already asked Kotonami-san to assist us and she's more than willing to help."

Ren smiled, thinking of the smile of his beloved. "That's good. I want everything to be perfect for tonight."

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Kyoko, on the other hand, was in the LoveMe room, working on some papers (she was told that she'd graduate the LoveMe section after she comes back from America). She felt much better now, since Ren was there for her the whole time. 'I'm so lucky to have him by my side.' She smiled.

'Still. It's such a waste. I thought he'd be free tonight. I was even looking forward to cooking for him.' She sighed. 'Ah, well. I guess I can do that tomorrow. He did say he was free tomorrow night. I'll just have to cook something more delicious.'

"Mo! Kyoko! Aren't you listening?" Kanae's voice now registered in Kyoko's head.

"Huh? Moko-san? When did you get here?" Kyoko asked, confused.

Kanae sighed, "I got here a few minutes ago, but apparently, you didn't notice me and did not even hear what I said."

Kyoko looked at her best friend, a bit embarrassed. "Er, sorry, I was just…er… thinking about stuff."

"Must be about that boyfriend of yours." Moko mumbled quietly and quite grudgingly, but Kyoko didn't catch onto it. "Anyway, we have an assignment to do. It was given by the president just now."

"What assignment? Don't tell me we go around LME declaring love or something, do we?" Kyoko asked, a bit scared at the idea.

Kanae looked horrified as she imagined herself doing that. "No. We're doing something else. Actually, I'm going to do something, and you're just going to go somewhere and have fun."

"When?" Kyoko asked.

"Later. Tonight. Do you have any plans?" Kanae asked.

Kyoko shook her head. "No. I'm free tonight. What is the assignment about?"

'Of course you are' Kanae grinned inwardly. "Well, the president told me that you were supposed to go to a ball tonight and I'm going to have to dress you up."

Kyoko's eyes grew wide and sparkly. "A ball? Really?"

Kanae smirked. "Yep."

Kyoko smiled brightly, but then something popped in her head. 'It would've been better if Ren can go with me.' Suddenly, the brightness left her, and then she sighed.

Her best friend, on the other hand, just kept on smirking at her.

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Kyoko and Kanae were now in Kyoko and Ren's apartment, trying to doll Kyoko up. Kanae was the one who kept on moving around the room, while Kyoko just stood still, wearing a thick blindfold.

"Why do I have to wear a blindfold, again?" Kyoko asked, confused.

Kanae sighed, "I told you. The president wanted to keep the location secret, so he's asking everyone going to wear blindfolds."

"That's just weird." Kyoko said.

"Well, you know the president." Kanae said.

After dressing Kyoko up (Kyoko didn't see what she wore, for she was blindfolded the whole time), they went to a car, where Yashiro was waiting for them. Yashiro and Kanae just smiled conspiratorially at each other, and then asked the driver to go to a certain location.

When they arrived in their destination, they guided Kyoko towards a certain path.

Even though blindfolded, Kyoko can tell that she was taken in a forest. She could hear the rustling of leaves, the cold breeze, the humming birds, and the magical feeling. 'I wonder why the forest? Well, I guess it IS the president we're talking about. Might as well cooperate.'

Kanae and Yashiro stopped suddenly and let go of Kyoko's arms. "Can I take off my blindfold now?" Kyoko asked.

Kanae replied, "No. But after you count to ten, you can take it off."

Both Kanae and Yashiro rushed off, and went back to the car and drove away as soon as Kyoko said, "one."

She continued to count, though, oblivious that she was now all alone in the forest. "Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven… Eight… Nine… Ten…"

Finally, she took off her blindfold, and adjusted her eyes to her surroundings. She gasped.

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