The Summer has finally begun for me! Thank God! Hopefully it will be a better Summer than last year. Truly, last year sucked. I think that now I'm off, that I'll update more regularly. I think. Please Enjoy. Sorry if this chapter is bad. Something is wrong with me, nothing I write seems.. right anymore. I don't know. You can decide.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen

Bella PoV

It was a few days after my encounter with Esme. I didn't want Esme to see the real me. A young woman stung with an incredible loss of self, full of loathing, of pain and mostly now, confusion. That was a new one, ever since Esme and I had our hear-to-heart I had been feeling lighter more secure. Even Rosalie could see the difference in me. She had decided that each time I spoke to a person in her family, that I'd become old Bella. I didn't really see that happening but I let her think what she wanted.

I had always been so adamant with myself, thinking that none of the Cullen family cared much for me but after Rosalie and Esme spoke to me earlier that day, each helping me with their own approach, I saw that maybe they did care. But I knew that there was still a long way to go until I spoke to the others. They were the ones that didn't hurt as much to think about during my short time as a lonely vampire. Rosalie didn't like me when I was mortal and Esme had always seemed far away from reality always clouded by the dreams she had of her son and I that I couldn't really take her seriously sometimes. I still couldn't forgive them, not yet, it would take a long time for me to open my heart to them gain, but hopefully I will be able to let Esme or Rose back in. They held a special place in my being, as my mothering figure. Esme being the only female to properly take care of me while I was human, I knew now that I was the mother in Renee and my relationship. Rosalie being the one, who took the chance to save me, she had created me from a meek little human to a most terrifying predator in three long days. Rose had shown me how to feed and survive; like a mother bird watching after her chick.

The others situations with me were different. Alice and Emmett were the two siblings I had gotten close to when I was human. Alice's claims that I was her 'best friend' or loving me as if I were already her sister and Emmett incessant jokes and teasing of me had caused me to soften around those two making it hard for me to not forgive either of them for any little thing while my heart beat, but now it was different, the same thing that once made the core of me soften, now forced my emotions to build another barrier around my cold unbeating heart, blocking reason and thought from my feelings.

Carlisle had been my father. He was the grand protector of the Cullen's. Never being louder than necessary, he never yelled or shouted at one person during times of crisis, he always formed contingency plans before he began anything. He always seemed to protect me from my many falls and bumps to my understanding of his race. Carlisle had been the first one to truly believe I and his son had a strong chance, he thought that even before Alice. But I knew that he would be the next one who would get through to me, no one could ever be mad at Carlisle. He didn't even have a choice in the matter of leaving Forks, according to Rosalie.

And finally, Jasper; he and I seemed to have an understanding when my blood pumped. He would stay away from me but always had an interest in my life; I knew that the interest was probably produced by his wife. He and I had common fascination with History and often discuss many theories; at least one other family member would be there for my safety, of course.

I didn't know then that it was because Ed-...Edward didn't want someone else to waste his distraction. I felt myself growl as I thought. Distraction, I detested the sound of that word. It seemed dirty. I was a diversion for Ed-Edward to keep him company, or entertainment for Emmett to laugh at while I did something embarrassing or stupid, a pastime or hobby for Alice to play Barbie and Jasper to test his bloodlust, a disturbance for Rosalie to sneer upon and a commotion for Esme to fussy over and Carlisle to handle my injuries . I was a distraction. A simply interruption, something they could throw away after they were done with it. Which they did and now I was a vampire. Fate didn't favour us in our race against humanity.

Rosalie and I had spent each day since we saw each other first together, since neither me or the Cullen's were going into school for a while, each part to afraid to see the other, I guess."Damn it Rosalie." I sighed as she parked my Ford Taurus into a parking space.

"What?" She asked while she twiddled with one of her loose curls.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked her, "I have terrible memories from this place." I shuddered.

She giggled. It was weird, still, being so close to Rosalie, let alone to hear her giggle. "You are here because he isn't the one you are made at. You spoke to Esme, why can't you talk to him? And I know you have a bad memory here, that's why I've come with you... to watch you squirm!" I knew the really reason, to make sure I don't back out and to make sure I was okay by the end of everything.

"I hate you." I glared at the blonde-vampire. "And I'm not going in there."

"Why?" Rose asked again, "He doesn't know that you are alive, it would be good for you to see his reaction to seeing a ghost."

I sighed and bit the inside of my cheek. It would be good to see his reaction to me. And he was the only Cullen not to know I was alive. I had told Esme not to breathe a word of our conversation or to tell anyone else that I was alive. She had warned Jasper and Emmett not to tell Carlisle that I was alive yet, under Alice's suggestion. So only one Cullen is in the dark.. Hmm...

"Fine." I sighed, closing my eyes knowing that I'd regret letting her drive me around town.

She grinned at me, which made me freeze for a second. Even now that I'm a vampire, being beside Rosalie was a self-esteem blow. "Go, I'll be in the car waiting."

"Okay." I said opening the door, ready to get out.

"Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Your choice in cars has vastly progressed. I improve of this car." She smiled at me, while letting her hand go across the dash board, "So pretty for a safe car."

I sighed and got out of the car, moving towards the entrance of the building.

Being in Forks Community Hospital didn't feel right, not the urge or lust for the blood that cursed my life forever now but the eerie sense of nostalgia that hit me as I walked through the front doors and into the Emergency Room, a first time with all my bones in place and no bruises on my body. "Excuse me," I called out to the receptionist, "Is there any possibility to see Dr. Cullen?" I smiled sweetly at the young girl clicking her pen onto the desk.

"Do you have an appointment?" She drawled leaning on her messy desk blinking ever few seconds to keep awake, and reaching for her glittering red nail polish.

"I'm an old friend of the kind doctor." I smirked, her eyes widened, it wasn't unknown that Dr. Carlisle Cullen tended to stick to himself, not one to talk about home or his friends. In her eyes I knew what she was speculating if I was a lady-friend of Carlisle, did I come for the hospital looking for sex. That made me cringe, even the thought...

I shivered slightly, to quick for her to see, not that she was noticing anything other than my beauty, "I'm sorry; Dr. Cullen is very busy at the moment." She began, "He isn't seeing anyone."

"Oh, but it is very important, he hasn't seen me in such a long time. I just want to see an old friend, please?" I asked her trying to put on the sweetest smile I could muster.

"I'm sorry, Miss." She said, blinking furiously at my teeth, I closed my mouth. I probably overdid it a bit. "Maybe you should wait until he is off shift." She offered before I cut her off.

"Then tell Dr. Cullen that Bella is here to see him." I stated I knew that the girl was getting tired of my pursuing and she was cracking, "Please." I added, to sweeten the college girl up.

She groaned quietly, unbeknown to her that I could her hear every mutter, and grabbed the handset of handset before her. "Wait a moment, Miss." She sighed to me and began to speak into the phone for a few minutes before she froze momentarily. "It seems that Dr. Cullen cancelled the rest of his scheduled appointments today. Do you know the way to his office?" She looked me up and down for a second, while I nodded.

I walked straight down the hall and to the office I knew that was his. The hospital hadn't change much over the years, so I knew where his office might be. I only hoped it was. I stopped outside the door unable to go in. Why was I here again? Why was I going to put myself through this?

"Isabella?" A voice called to me, making my body spin around to face the man who I was coming to see, he stared at me and his voice crumbled, "Bella, is that you?" The others around us seemed to freeze as did we. The other doctors he was talking to seemed to have the same look in their eyes as the receptionist.

"Yes, Carlisle." I said, sighing and looking at him. So hard to see his face again...the man I always viewed as a father. Carlisle looked like a model. He was the picture of beauty just like the rest of his family. His blond hair parted as always perfect, looking more like a movie star than ever. He hadn't changed at all I was surprised that I thought he would have. Many nurses probably weren't able to concentrate on their work while he was around. His pale skin seemed ashen and his golden eyes seemed to flash with concern and confusion.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me, still standing in the hall way, frozen would have been a better adjective. His golden eyes widen in surprise, his face twist as if he had seen a ghost. I suppose he had seen one, I should have been buried in the cemetery not too far from where we stood.

That wasn't what I expected to hear, "Do you want me to leave?" I asked him, cocking my head to the side, surprised by his reaction to me.

"N-no!" He came closer to me, breaking away from the gaggle of doctors, "I was just surprised. No one told me you were... here." Alive, more like it.

"But your receptionist said you cancelled the rest of your day to talk to me." I informed him, more confused more than ever.

"I was never told." He said, confusion clouded his face, before he thought of something, "Alice.."

And suddenly everything seemed clear, "She must have... found out... that I was going to visit you." I said very aware of the human behind him.

"Probably." He said, "Please, come to my office so we can speak privately."

I nodded as he said his farewells to his colleagues. I began to wonder whether or not I should wait for him or not. I didn't know if going straight to where I thought his office was situated was I smart thing or not. I didn't know where it was not, but I didn't think it would have changed since the last time. He had the same job, I checked, but the hospital might have changed in the last fifty years, maybe it would be better if I went on ahead, I mean it would be good for one of the Cullen's have someone leave them for a change and not the other way around. They were so good at leave people behind...

I didn't have much time to decide because Carlisle, as if knowing where my thoughts were leading, quickly steered me towards the bottom of the corridor. He sighed, "How... How are you alive?" He asked, "How did you survive?"

"For you first question: I was Changed after I was pushed off a cliff. For you second question: do you think I have survived all this time? I have not survived. I died, and went to Hell." I snapped, "Every second, it gets worse. The small hole in my heart seemed to grow and engulf my body in pain. It was worse than the pain of the Change. It's getting worse. It doesn't help seeing you. Your family being here is making me worse." I said through clenched teeth, trying to scrap bits of dignity back from the clasp of the Cullen family.

"Bella.." Carlisle sighed for a second, I saw pain in his eyes and regret, before something snap in side of him and he said, "Follow me to my office." I nodded as he directed in the direction of his office.

Opening the door, he let me in first. Always a perfect gentleman, very much like... his son."Please sit, Bella." He asked me pointing to comfortable looking chair in front of his desk, probably for when he had a meeting or appointment. I nodded and sat on the chair while Carlisle pulled his desk chair from behind the table and sat facing me, "Please, tell me everything from the start."

"Why should I?" I asked defiantly. I didn't think that it would be any of his business what happened to me. It wasn't as if he or anyone else, for that matter, cared.

"I want to know my mistake, Bella, I want to be able to make it right." He confessed to me rubbing his forehead, "You know it was the biggest mistake of my family existence leaving you in Forks. But... it wasn't our choice to make."

"No, it was." I argued, "It was your choice. Your mistake to make, you made the mistake. There is no going back now, we can never be a resemblance of the family that I stupidly thought we were. I thought you, Carlisle, were a father to me and Esme my mother. When Renee and Charlie didn't act like a parent should have I thought you were always going to be there as my safety-net, to catch me when things became too much, like a mother or father should. But then I awake up one morning to find you deserted me, in my time of need."

"Please, tell me what happened to you."

"Carlisle you shouldn't care what happens to me."

"Bella, you were my daughter. You were the part of our family that was vital. We can't survive without you. Your presence at our home in Forks was the happiest time in our long lives. Everything was lighter and warm, everyone was visibly calmer. Edward," I winced and looked away from Carlisle, he seemed to notice this but continued, "Joked and laughed when he was around you, before you came along, he was alone. He had no one to love and care for as the rest of us had our mate. Bella, you were his mate."

"I was not his mate." I snapped, "I was not." I stared at Carlisle into his golden eyes, so angry at the vampire before me but then I remembered who it was I was talking to, I remembered that he had saved me so many times before, he had comforted me. Carlisle was not the one I was angry at. I whispered, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. It is I who should apologise." Carlisle said, I looked up at him and saw that he looked as if he wanted to cry, he also looked like he was relieved to see me here, "I made the wrong choice when Edward wanted to leave Forks, we should have talked in out of him but we owed him some many favours, he needed to do something for him, it was the only thing he ever asked of us. How could I have said no to my son?"

"You couldn't." It was nice to head Carlisle tell me that Edward forced them to leave Forks, it only told me what I knew already; Edward really wanted to get away from me.

My resolve in place, I asked Carlisle, "Do you want me to tell you my story, Carlisle?"

"Yes, Dear." I winced; it had been so long since Carlisle said that to me.

"After your family left, I was a shell of the girl you knew. I never really figured out how much you all affected me until you left. Dr. Snow was throwing around words like 'comatose' and 'catatonic'. A few months after you left, I finally got sick of myself mopping and decided to go somewhere. I went to Ed-..Edward's," I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to rip my arms from around my waist, "Meadow. I found Laurent there; he came to warn me that Victoria was coming for me. He said that she wanted revenge: 'a mate for a mate' I think he said. He asked if I wanted him to change me but I refused not wanting to become a vampire anymore if I wasn't with..." He nodded as if he knew it pained me to say his son's name.

"Go on."

"I decided that I was not going to put Charlie at a risk. I did not want that bitch hurting my father so I found a place that was similar to Forks in Michigan."

"Was it a place called Elk Rapids, by any chance?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Alice had a vision once about Elk Rapids and Edward saw. He was going to go there and see if you were there. Emmett and Alice stopped them before he leaved. Rosalie came back the next day from her shopping trip to Paris demanding that she and Emmett move to Michigan."

"Really?" I asked shocked. Edward was so close to meeting me again, but Alice and Emmett intercepted him. I was oddly sad about that. They should have let him go to Michigan, but he might not have liked what he saw.

"Yes. Please continue your story."

"Well, I made a journey to Elk Rapids and as soon as I got there I found a cliff with the most wonderful view. It was so tranquil. It made me at peace with myself, if only for a small time. The sun was just setting. I knew it would forever imprint in my mind.. I didn't know then that it would haunt my human memories." I sighed before readying myself, "I don't know if this is going to be a shock or not to you Carlisle but if you want the truth you have to promise not to tell him what I'm about to say. Don't even think about it. It is alright to talk to Esme about it. She and I already spoke but not of this. You said Rosalie went to Paris for a shopping trip, right?"

He nodded, "Actually she didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"As soon as I got to the cliff and watched the sun set. Victoria was there, she had followed me and was waiting for the right moment to kill me. Alice must have had a vision about this because Rosalie was there."

Carlisle gasped, "Rosalie? No..."

"She wanted to save me. You see, Victoria had lightly tapped my shoulder. I wobbled but regained my posture, for once. I didn't even realise that Rosalie was fighting for my humanity as I didn't even turn away to see them. Suddenly I heard a yelp behind me causing me to spin around but as it was me we are talking about a strong gush of wind came from the trees pushing me towards gravity. I remember looking into Rosalie's black eyes for what seemed like an eternity before I finally lost her footing and fell over the edge.

"There were jagged rocks beneath the cliff. I broke my back with the fall and there was blood everywhere. Rosalie said that she hadn't hunted in a while that it was too much for her to handle so she jumped down and bit me."

He looked stunned, "Rosalie... is your sire?"

"Yes."

The stunned look on his face didn't disappear, "That.. makes no sense." He said in one breath.

"I know. She sacrifices everything she had been working up on to save me. I thank her for it, even though I don't deserve it."

"Rosalie..." He said her name as if he was trying to imagine me and Rosalie best friends.

"You also have a new found respect for the woman?" I smiled slightly.

"Yes, I do." He also smile ruefully, before he thought of something, "Does Emmett know?"

"I don't think so. Please, Carlisle, do not tell him or.. Edward.."

"Where is Rosalie now?" He questioned me.

"Outside, waiting for me." I smiled, "She made me come here. She wants me to be able to talk to you all again but..."

"You aren't sure if you trust us again." He answered for me.

"Exactly. I don't think I'm willing to lose the scrap of me that I have left because I know your family will take every since last part of me again. Just like last time, only now.. I can fight back." I said harshly.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked warily.

"Nothing." I said, "I just don't want to hurt you guys so much." I smirked before walking out of his office and out of the hospital. I didn't want Carlisle to know too much more than the others yet. I still had my plan in place.

Was this alright? I was looking back on the first couple of chapter of Broken and saw how shitty they were so maybe I'll fix that shit up before uploading again. I think I'd be uploading Forgotten first anyway. But hey.

So please tell me what you think.

I have one thing to say. I AM SO JEALOUS OF AMERICANS RIGHT NOW! Can someone tell me was Eclipse good. Because I have to wait until the 9th July/ July 9th (whatever) until I get to see it. That is uncool.

Please R&R

~YMCM