A/N:
1) Sincere thanks for reviews and/or encouragement goes to: AdaYuki, tamatoe, and Cassandra-Jayne. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.
Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.
2) I'm very sorry for the long wait. College, family issues and an AWOL muse have been taking their toll.
3) To the person who flagged Aella as a 'Mary Sue', sorry but I'd beg to differ, see, her fate isn't decided yet, she is not a master of everything, and she is not Ms. Perfect. In fact she is about to soon get a very close and personal look at her follies and flaws (which was the plan all along btw).
Yes, Thor falls for her, but he's a loving person, and as for her abilities, remember, this is placed in the MARVEL universe, where people with powers and a large impact on the world are practically ubiquitous.
In any case, some food for thought (from my English professor who spent two lectures on both the overuse of Mary Sues and the overuse of the label)
a) if you think a female OC is a Sue, first stop and ask yourself if she'd be as impossible to swallow were she male. If yes, one's got to do some long and hard thinking about gender equality. If not, good for you.
b) Overuse of the Sue label has led to many published proffesional authors being AFRAID to create female characters who are anything other than barbies, sissies, or some kind of villain, because too often strong (albeit mostly realistic) females are labeled as Sues, and that is seen as career suicide.
Yes, Sues absolutely happen. No, I'm not going to call every interesting female who manages to make a difference, a Sue. Cheers.
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The Allfather tells her that she will be fighting the "Unknown" and then the meeting is over, before she has a chance to clarify exactly what that is – though she doubts that she'd be given an answer in any case.
It shouldn't matter, because one way or another she will find out at sundown, but Loki still goes off to the library to find some answers of his own, and Thor…. grieving yet still trying to be supportive…. offers to help her prepare, just as some of his friends make the same offer – their way of supporting him, Aella imagines.
In the end, she accepts help from Sif, because they are both women, and that may change the dynamics a little, or so she says.
In truth, the reason for her refusal is that Thor's too close…. and if this all goes to hell, Aella doesn't want him to spend an eternity blaming himself for not being able to teach her enough.
The Aesir woman teaches her well, everything from the advantages and disadvantages of various kinds of armor and weapons to individual thrusts and parries. Still, after they spar for a couple of hours, they have to stop, because otherwise Aella will be too exhausted to meet the challenge she has accepted, and in all – despite how much she has learned – the net experience has been humbling in the extreme, because even with what is apparently an added level of strength and healing ability to go with a near impenetrable force-field that seems to protect her chest…. Sif can still floor her in under a minute – and she's not even trying hard.
They go back to discussing armor again, and despite the fact that Aella probably needs the heaviest armor she can get, ultimately she decides on a light scale plating covering just her torso and thighs above a red tunic, because she has always relied on speed and agility to keep herself safe, and slowing herself down with too much weight sounds like inviting disaster.
For weapons, she chooses a pair of short daggers and a simple staff, because there are no pistols here and this is the closest she can get to something she is familiar with using.
"Bladed ends will make it harder for that to be taken from you."
It's nerves that make Aella jump at the sudden sound of Loki's voice, but she silently concedes that he has a point and exchanges the staff for one with a cutting edge at each end, even while she asks what he found.
There is no need to ask where Thor is, because the raging thunderstorm enveloping the hills is answer enough, and not for the first time, Aella wonders if she has made a terrible – selfish – mistake.
"Having second thoughts?"
There is nothing condescending in that silky tone, this once, and though Aella wants to ask Loki if he's able to read her thoughts, because that is what it sounds like, she gives instead a short cynical chuckle, admitting:
"I'm probably going to die, Loki… and truth is, I'm scared."
This time, the Trickster seems amused, but only marginally so:
"You really didn't mean all that about not wanting to run any more?"
Aella sighs, deciding that this was easier when she and Loki were fighting, because except within the personal blind spot of his own emotions and fears, Loki is very perceptive, then finally answers, hesitantly:
"Good catch…. yes and no…. I'm tired of what I've made of my life, and I don't want to go back to it…. and if there's a chance, any chance that I can win this, it's worth it….. if not, it's a fight worth fighting…."
This time, Loki doesn't reply –probably because he doesn't agree with her assessment – and yet despite that, his presence is vaguely comforting.
Thunder peals deafeningly in the distance, and Aella speaks up again, softly:
"You ever heard of last requests…. it's a human, uh, Midgardian custom… sort of."
Loki's reply is noncommittal – amused again at what may be narrow-mindedness on her part:
"Not only…"
It doesn't matter. In fact the universality of this custom probably is a good thing, and she presses on:
"Promise me something, then…. if I die."
Loki smiles, wide and shark-like, despite the tears she can see glistening in his eyes, and asks sharply:
"You sure I'm the right person to be addressing? Thor is the better to trust, and you know he'd do as you ask."
Maybe in time he will learn to be trusted again…. in time which she doesn't have, so instead of arguing, she continues, voice firm but gentle:
"I trust you with this, Loki…. I trust you to look after him, to be there for him."
This time, the Trickster's voice is bitter – guilty even- as he bites out:
"Because I have done that so well, before."
And Aella has to hide a wince as she remembers, as the grief of loosing Thor washes over her, before she pushes it away, not wanting to fan the flames, and says quietly:
"Yeah, well, I do know that you love him, Loki…. despite what you did…. so just, try to make him smile again, and I know it might be tempting, but don't try to stir up tensions in the family, however much it might be fun, 'kay….. because in the end that'll just hurt Thor more…. even it your intentions are just to piss off Odin."
At least none of this has been a lie, and yet her attempts to placate Loki seem to be in vain, because he bristles at the mention of the king's name and replies vehemently:
"He isn't right about everything."
He's expecting anger on her part, she supposes, indignation that the Allfather has given her this ultimatum…. but this time she's going to disappoint, because she isn't angry, and instead replies levelly:
"No… but he also isn't wrong…. I guess when you've lived on an imperfect world as long as I have, you realize that sometimes… there is no right way to do something….. just a minimally wrong way, and that's what you try and shoot for when you are in charge, if you're one of the good guys… you know…. I actually think the position must suck."
For a while she wonders if she said the wrong thing because Loki seems to be buried in impregnable silence, but at last he laughs - a real laugh however short-lived – and says:
"I hope you survive this, Aella, I would enjoy having you as a sister."
And despite the certainty of her impending doom, she cannot help but smile back, stating that she'd like that too, because despite how much she had hated Loki for what he did…. and despite the fact that she can't forget… they have something in common…. they are both damaged, possibly beyond repair, inside – and she'd like to think that she understand him.
Then reality makes itself forcefully known again, with another thunderclap, and Aella asks, dryly:
"So, any idea exactly what this unknown 'unknown' is?"
Loki sighs, this time in annoyance, and huffs:
"No, it is an opponent, an enemy, sometimes more than one…. and there seems to be no real pattern to the forms they take…. as if they're designed for the individual."
The simplicity of it is baffling now that Loki has spoken, and thinking aloud, Aella replies sarcastically:
"Oh, that's right… humans, we fear the unknown. I'd wager that the 'Unknown" is all my fears come to life…. in which case, well, shit, this is going to be a very long night."
It probably says something about her luck that Thor arrives at that very moment, finished with his latest storm, and adds his own input to the conversation:
"You fear nothing and no-one."
She wishes it was true – it would be true if she was Thor, she thinks – but the reality is that she's got more skeletons in her closet than hangers, and she replies bitterly:
"Nah, not true, I just hide my fears well, which means someone should sue for privacy violations."
Only Loki gets the joke, but it doesn't matter because with two hours left before Sif will return for a final warm-up exercise, it is only fitting that Aella and Thor take this time together, and Loki steps out of the arena, leaving the would-be couple alone.
It's ironic in the extreme that for all of their talking and bonding under the most majestic sunset she has ever seen, Aella can't bring herself to say the things that really matter … and it takes Sif leveling her effortlessly again while Thor has gone to make some final preparations - because apparently she's going to have her ass handed to her in the royal hall – to give her the impetus to at least put her thoughts down on paper once Sif leaves again.
She doesn't register Loki's presence, reading over her shoulder, until he speaks, a note of pain trickling into his otherwise level tone:
"You want me to give this to him…"
"If I die, yes.", Aella interrupts, not letting him finish. It's easier if she says it.
When Loki speaks again, his voice is oddly hesitant:
"I can help you."
Caution laces her tone as she hands Loki the folded letter and asks:
"How so?"
And it is not unwarranted, because what Loki is suggesting – to the best of her understanding – is a temporary protective spell, which will allow her to draw form his strength for the time being, making her more than human…. something which sounds both dangerous and of course not allowed.
Her refusal is for neither reason, and when she sees the flicker of rejection in Loki's green eyes, she clarifies hastily, realizing what he must be thinking:
"It's not a moral objection to cheating, Loki…. it's only that if I survive this when I should have died, then it will catch up to me later. People will assume I'm stronger than I am, and when that does end in my death one way or the other…. the fallout will be worse."
She thinks that Loki might actually agree with her despite calling her a fool, because there is no real anger in his tone, and he finishes with the statement:
"If you reconsider while there is time, my offer still stands."
But there is no adequate response to that, and all Aella can say to his retreating back as she does a final check on her weapons and watches the sun being swallowed is a whispered:
"I won't… but thanks anyway."
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