Disclaimer: I'm broke. I couldn't afford FMA even if I wanted to.
Inspired by the Salt'n'Pepa song "Let's talk about sex", requested by… someone.
Let's talk about sex
Roy sat down on the couch, watching the blonde on the seat in front of him. He cleared his throat multiple times until Ed finally sighed and looked up from his book.
"What is it, bastard?"
Roy folded his hands in his lap and grinned inwardly before he began:
"Hey, Edward… Let's talk about sex."
The blonde stared at him in disbelief, a faint shade of pink starting to spread over his cheeks.
"Talk about what?"
"I believe you heard me."
Ed mumbled something under his breath and frowned. He didn't understand why Roy suddenly wanted to talk about... that, and more importantly, why he had to take that discussion now when he had just arrived home from a mission and wanted some peace and calm.
Then he turned suspicious. Of course his lover wouldn't want to discuss something just for fun, or to "steady their relationship". That simply wasn't Roy. Unless…
He studied the black-haired man critically for a moment before speaking.
"Exactly what do you want us to talk about?"
"Well…" Roy started, smiling a bit. "All the good things – and the bad things – that may be. It's natural for two people in a relationship to talk about sex, you know."
Ed reluctantly put down his book, and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Then speak, if it's so important to you."
Roy continued, ignoring the annoyed glare he received from his lover.
"I wanted to ask you whether or not you are satisfied with our… routine."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think it would be nice to try something... new?"
The raven-haired man heard the swishing sound Ed's fist before he felt the impact. His cheek started to swell just as the blonde jumped up from the couch and shouted:
"ROY MUSTANG, I'M NOT DOING BONDAGE!"
Then he stomped out from the room, leaving his lover alone to nurse his wounded pride. He deserved it. It would be a very cold day in hell before Edward Elric would do something like that.