It was Thanksgiving Day and Taylor Townsend stared blankly into her closet. It had seemed simple to her the night before, but now the black dress and the black leather heals and the pearl necklace did not seem so obvious and brilliant.

"Fuck." She bit her lip nervously and then closed the closet door. This decision would have to wait.

"Miss Townsend?" Taylor turned around; it was the family domestic, Telma. "Breakfast is ready and your mother is awake."

"Wonderful." The hazel eyed young woman slowly crept downstairs into the kitchen. Her mother was awful when she was stressed and no doubt she would be stressed this entire day. Veronica Townsend was hosting a large dinner party for some of the most important business and civic leaders in Newport, and Taylor's presence was required.

"There you are." Veronica was waiting in the kitchen and her tone of voice seemed to imply that Taylor was a lazy bum for sleeping until 9. "I thought you were going to be in bed all day."

"I've been up since 7." Taylor poured herself out a cup of coffee and sat down. The maid Telma placed a plate with bacon and eggs in front of her.

"Since you're eating so late and so much I'll assume you're going to skip lunch?"

"This isn't that much."

"But you have gained some weight Taylor." Taylor felt the anger rising in her throat but she fought it down. Her mother, for years forgotten and for reasons unknown, was obsessed with the idea that Taylor was too fat.

"It's the campus food."

"I don't understand why you don't hire a cook." Veronica assured her daughter that all her friends' daughters were hiring personal cooks for their dorms.

"I'll look into it when I get back to school." Veronica smiled, happy to gain her victory without too much of a struggle.

"You know I tell you these things because I want you to be happy."

"I'm happy." Taylor forced a smile. She was happy, in theory, but she wasn't happy at that moment. In general though, she was happy. Three weeks previous she had gotten back with Ryan, and though she knew he didn't love her, she felt that spark of love growing in him stronger every day.

"Is that boy coming tonight?"

"You know Ryan's coming. You invited his family."

"And every other important family in the city." The Cohens and the Cooper-Roberts were all coming to Veronica Townsend's party. Taylor had had to work hard on Ryan and his family, but she had finally won them over. "Tonight is going to be my crowning achievement. Veronica Townsend will be the most important woman in the city of Newport; not even Julie Cooper can boost of getting this many people together." Taylor just smiled and pretended to be happy for her mother. In her heart of hearts she was scared out of her mind. She knew her mother did not like Ryan, or anyone in his family. She knew she hated Marissa Cooper and the entire Cooper clan. Taylor could not see any positive outcomes for tonight's events, and she feared horribly that if this evening went wrong, so too would her relationship with Ryan.

"So is everything taken care of?" Taylor was not at all subtly asking if her mother needed her help. Veronica regarded Taylor for a moment or two and then shook her head slowly.

"I can manage without you I think." There the words lay. They both had fired their shots and had finished their battle for the morning. Taylor finished her breakfast and ran back upstairs.

"I guess the black dress will be fine." She had lost the energy to give the situation any real consideration. With her fashion crisis over, Taylor sat at the end of the bed and wondered what to do with the rest of the day.

"I'm bored." Marissa rolled her eyes and looked back at Summer.

"You're always bored."

"I want to talk about the wedding." Marissa laughed and shook her head.

"Remember-no wedding talk until after New Years." The general theory was that Seth would propose on New Year's Eve. "Do you want me to revoke my promise?"

"No." Summer rolled her eyes and pretended to be angry. "I don't see what the big deal is. I mean—I have a right to be excited."

"You do—and I have a right not to hear about it 24 hours a day."

"What can we talk about then?"

"My boyfriend."

"And how Tom's not here."

"His family is important to him—I think it's sweet."

"You talk to him last night?"

"I did."

"Did you guys get dirty?" Marissa laughed and nodded her head yes. She was still enjoying herself with Tom; her brief excitement about Ryan had died as soon as she had heard that the two had gotten back together. "He's a good guy."

"But he's not Ryan." Summer seemed to be reading her thoughts. "It's going to be weird seeing him tonight."

"Don't let it be—I'm not angry at Ryan."

"So you wouldn't like it if I punched Taylor in the face?"

"No—I've told you that I have nothing against Taylor anymore. She's back with Ryan and I'm happy for them." She looked back at her reflection in the mirror and laughed. "That doesn't meant I have to like her—and I am prettier than her."

"Hells yes bitch"

"Speaking of Holly—when is she coming over tonight?"

"Six. She's bringing her husband." Summer made a face she used to make when she was child and didn't like a particular thing on her plate. "I don't understand why she has to bring him."

"I don't know. He's boring isn't it?"

"God yes. I don't know how Holly puts up with him."

"She's drunk all the time—I don't think she notices." The girls lapsed into a comfortable silence. Summer read her magazine half-heartedly while Marissa stared into her reflection and into space. "I have been thinking about Ryan lately."

"I thought as much." Summer grinned and rose out of her bed. She wasn't bored anymore. "You got a bad case of the Ryans?"

"No—not really." Marissa shrugged her shoulders and thought for a moment. "I think it's because it's Thanksgiving. Just being nostalgic I guess."

"You love him still?"

"I do—a part of me will always love him. "

"Maybe Taylor's his Zach."

"So Taylor's warming Ryan over until he realizes we should be together?"

"Or that you both realize you belong together."

"You think we belong together?"

"I don't know—sometimes I do." Other times, Summer thought to herself, she thought they both belonged in mental hospitals, but since it was Thanksgiving, she decided to be charitable.

There was a knock at their door. To their surprise, it was Holly.

"What are you bitches up to?"

"Just what you see." Holly was wearing the shortest short either girl had ever seen and a bright pink halter-top. "No offense Holly—but are you planning on being a hooker today?"

"What?" She looked down at her outfit and back at Marissa and Summer. "Do you think it's too little? I mean I changed into this because I thought it was classier."

"I really think you should wear that tonight to Veronica's party."

"God don't remind me about that. I'm going only because I have to."

"Same with me but I think Marissa wants to go so she can flirt with Ryan."

"Ill." Holly sat down on the bed next to Summer. "Forget about Ryan—I came over here because I heard that there's supposed to be some really hot guys there tonight." Holly took out a piece of gum and started chewing excitedly. "We have to be ready for tonight."

"None of us are single Holly."

"I know—but it is fun; besides, your boyfriend won't be there Marissa." Marissa assured her friend she knew. "But Summer's not serious about you and Ryan right? I mean, that's over?"

"Yes." She could see Summer trying to make direct eye contact with her, as to gather the truthfulness of that statement. She looked over at her dark-haired friend. "Yes—absolutely."

"Good—because I'm telling you that there are going to be tons of hot guys there tonight—and if you wanted to, you could totally find yourself a new guy tonight and no one would think you were bad." Holly smiled brightly. "People do it all the time." Before Marissa could interrupt, Holly's cell phone rang. She looked who was calling and rolled her eyes; "It's my stupid husband." She looked at Summer and Marissa; her blue eyes were suddenly pleading. "We can't just sit around all day—I need alcohol." So it was decided; the girls were off to have cocktails.

It was around eight when Holly arrived at Veronica Townsend's party. She wore her husband on her arm like an accessory, and she quickly discarded him, much like her 400 dollar purse, once she passed through the door. She blew him a kiss as he separated to find his own friends and business associates.

"Holly!" The pretty blonde turned and smiled; Summer waved her other from the other room. Men and women, dressed in matching serving uniforms, walked in and out of the room; their faces showed nothing. Holly, as she passed a blank faced young man, grabbed a glass of champagne and offered him a killing smile. Before he could react, she had turned away from him and glided towards her friends.

"You look so hot Summer." Her dark haired friend returned the compliment and they drank their drinks in silence for a moment. "Where's Marissa?"

"Off talking to the Cohens."

"And Seth?"

"I don't know where he disappeared to."

Holly sipped her drink; the bubbles played for a moment on her tongue before passing down her throat; she saw another cute waiter and turned to Summer. "This seems all right."

"Yeah—I don't think dinner is served until 9 but the food they have out is good."

"There's food?" Summer smiled and led her friend through two more congested rooms; suddenly Holly found herself in the cool autumn air. There was an outdoor buffet set-up with smoked oysters, clams and other shell-fish; a chef stood at a carving station slicing up pieces of roast beef and a large pot of cheese fondue was being stirred by another bored looking young man who probably wished to be home with his family and friends. Obviously Veronica Townsend had spared no expense in this celebration. As she made her way to the buffet, Holly found herself catching the eye of a young woman who was standing a good ten to fifteen yards away from the table. The young woman was dressed in a tight black dress that highlighted the young woman's rather tone and firm body. At first Holly only could see the vague outline of her face and a flaming spark—a reflection of some nearby tiki-torch—in her pretty eyes, but then the young woman moved into the slivery moonlight and Holly knew who it was—Taylor.

"Taylor's over there." Holly, as she filled up her plate with clams and oysters, darted a quick glance at Summer. "Did you see her?"

"Yeah—Ryan went over earlier to help Taylor's mom with something; Seth made me say hello."

"How was Marissa?" Holly sucked down an oyster and finished the last of her drink. As she looked around for another tray of drinks, Summer's answer passed by her and floated into the fall evening. "What did you say?" Holly had spotted a tray of martinis and grabbed two.

"Marissa can hold her own against Trailer Trash over there."

"And did she?"

"She was very polite." Summer sipped her drink. "I have to hand it Coop—I would have socked Taylor in the face for stealing my man."

"I don't think Marissa cares anymore."

"But she does." This made Holly freeze for a moment. "I know she loves him still—she'll always love him. She doesn't realize it yet."

"I thought she was happy with Doug."

"Tom—and she's fooling herself." The conversation was cut short by the appearance of Marissa. She appeared from out of the house with Ryan and Seth at her side.

"We just ran into your husband Holly—he didn't know where you were. Thought that maybe you had run off with another guy."

"I haven't seen anyone worth running away with yet." Seth laughed awkwardly at Holly's joke and Ryan cracked a false and quickly fading smile. Holly had never liked him and she knew that he had never liked Holly. "How are you boys doing tonight? Going to protect us ladies?"

"I don't think there's much to be protected from."

"There's a couple of cute guys—plus all those hotties I was telling you about." Marissa noticed a sidelong glance from Ryan that was not full of approval.

"You keep promising me them Holly—but I think you're full of shit."

"Bitch." Another tray of drinks came by them; Holly and Marissa each grabbed another martini. "These are really good."

"The ones we had at the club were better." Holly shrugged her shoulders; she didn't care much about the quality of the drink as long as they got her drunk eventually.

"You boys should have come with us." Marissa couldn't tell if her blonde friend's tone was dripping with sarcasm or genuine; it was a problem she had with Holly from time to time.

"I must have missed the invite." Marissa picked up on Ryan's tone. He was annoyed and Marissa had a good idea why he was annoyed—Holly. Why does he have to be so angry about everything? Why can't he just enjoy himself and not worry about everyone? Ryan had been fine with her, more than fine, he had seemed happy to see her.

"Maybe." Holly's blue eyes burned with a sudden fire; they were quickly distinguished as she took a sip of her drink. She eyed Ryan for a moment and then broke out in a mirthful giggle, "Why have you abandoned Taylor?"

"I wasn't aware that I had."

"She's over there looking bored." The collective eyes of the group turned to where Taylor stood, engaged in conversation with a balding lawyer. She saw their glance and waved back. Ryan and Seth waved while Holly raised her martini glass in a mock salute. "It's cruel to leave her over there."

"Bring her over Ryan—I don't want her to feel awkward around me." Marissa, thought Ryan, at least sounded sincere. As he walked over to Taylor his mind was filled with all the wonderful personal tragedies that could befall Holly. When he reached Taylor, the grin on his face was as much for Holly's demise as for the lovely Taylor.

"Hey, I was sent to fetch you." The balding lawyer said his goodbyes and as he walked away Ryan noticed that Taylor seemed a little unsteady on his feet. "How are you holding up?"

"Are you having a good time with Marissa?" Her hazel eyes were glazed over; Ryan realized, in a sudden flash, that she was not only angry with him, but possibly also drunk.

"What?" Ryan took Taylor's arm and moved them away from a couple that had just stood close to them. "Why are you asking me that?"

"You show up and hang out with me like for half an hour, and then as soon as Seth shows up with Marissa and Summer you disappear."

"Seth wanted to talk to me—you know how he is."

"You didn't ask me if I wanted to tag along." That wasn't exactly true and Ryan told her so. "Well I can't just go off with you and your friends Ryan—my mother expects me to help as hostess."

"I don't understand what you wanted me to do."

"Spend time with me. I'm your girlfriend and I'm nervous as hell." A waitress passed by them and Taylor grabbed herself a glass of champagne.

"Are you drunk Taylor?"

"No—god Ryan." Taylor drank down her champagne and laughed in delight as some spilled onto her chest. One or two streams trickled down onto her breasts and made their way down to wear her dress and flesh met. "You made me spill my drink." Ryan grabbed a napkin from a near-by plate and wiped the wine from her flesh. It glistened in the moonlight. "You should have kissed there."

"What?"

"You should have kissed me there." He looked up and her eyes were heavy with desire, but also touched with a strange sadness.

"What's wrong with you?" Ryan was scared for a moment; he had never seen her like this. "Why are you so nervous?"

"I" She faltered and she must have seen the fear pass over Ryan's face because in a flash she smiled and it seemed like it was the old Taylor again. "I don't know. I've been a nervous wreck all day." She laughed, but it wasn't an entirely joyful laugh. There was a hollowness to it that he didn't like.

"I was sent to fetch you."

"I don't really want to see them right now." Taylor took his hand; they stood silently for a moment and Ryan, as he touched her, felt an electric jolt surge through his body. He felt an overwhelming desire to be along with her, to have her. Taylor began to say something but before the words could escape her Ryan pulled her into him and kissed her long and deeply. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to kiss you." She giggled and asked if he wanted to escape to her room for a while. He nodded yes silently; she grabbed his hand and made way through the yard and up the stairs to the patio. Veronica Townsend stood there, waiting. Her eyes were icy in the darkness.

"Where are you going Taylor?"

"I just wanted to show Ryan something."

"Well you picked a bad time to steal him away." Was it Ryan's imagination, or did she put an emphasis on the word "steal"? "They're just finishing up the dinner buffet and I need your help getting everyone over to the east wing." Veronica looked over at Ryan, and her eyes were enough to dismiss him and send him back downstairs. He gave Taylor's hand a tight squeeze and made his way back down to the others. Marissa and Seth were walking towards him.

"What was that all about?" Before Ryan could explain Veronica announced that dinner was being served in the house and instructed her guests to follow the wait staff to the dinner spread. Seth, Marissa and Ryan all followed along.

"Taylor wanted to get away for a bit but her mother intervened."

"Why didn't she want to come over?" Ryan was saved an answer by a timely complaint about Summer from Seth.

"She keeps asking why Zach isn't here. Do you think she's in love with him?"

"That's an old wound to dig up Seth." While Ryan assured Seth there was nothing in Summer's questions except a mild desire to see an old friend, Marissa was left to wonder why Taylor had failed to join them. She's scared of us—or me: it was an answer that seemed obvious enough to Marissa. No doubt Taylor didn't like any of them either, but dislike wasn't enough reason to keep Taylor at bay, at least in Marissa's mind. No—Taylor was frightened of them. She must think Ryan still loves me—or that I still love Ryan. Marissa wondered about that. Summer seemed to think that Marissa still loved Ryan; maybe she did. Marissa hadn't thought about it very much but she had a feeling that, if she did peer into her heart and dug a little, maybe she would encounter a bit of her old feelings for Ryan.

"What are you thinking about?" It was Holly. Marissa, while lost in her thoughts, must have become separated from Ryan and Seth.

"Food." Her blonde friend rolled her eyes, as she if could read her mind. They walked in silence the rest of the way until they found themselves in the two large rooms known as the Green room and the ball room. They were in the little used east wing of the house; it had been built by Taylor's father and when it was finished Taylor's father had run off with another woman and had left Veronica with a child and a large house to mock her. That much Marissa knew.

"This is a huge room." Holly sounded approving; Marissa thought the largeness was vulgar but kept her thoughts to herself. The ballroom was the second of the rooms; fist one had to pass through the Green room, which was named from the olive green paint that adorned the walls. It was half the size of the ball room, which was modeled off the London Savoy hotel, though a bit smaller and less ornate. In the center of the ball room were two large buffets spreads, full of turkeys, hams, assorted green vegetable and autumn squashes. Another table was full of more oysters, clams, lobsters and large cauldrons of soups.

"Veronica must have spent a bundle." Tables were set up around the ball room; the buffet was the center of gravity. It reminded Marissa of a wedding reception, except that everyone had to serve themselves and that the buffet wasn't isolated from everyone. Marissa and Holly caught the eye of Summer at exactly the same time. Summer had found a table for herself and Seth; to Marissa's surprise, Taylor and Ryan had joined them. Summer waved them forward.

"We kept looking for you." Summer was sitting next to Seth and she was making an effort to keep her body fully turned away from Taylor and Ryan.

"I got lost." Marissa smiled at Taylor and told her how nice everything was. She was rewarded with a thin smile from Taylor, who looked positively miserable. Her job as co-hostesses was fairly done, and now she could enjoy Ryan's company, except that Ryan had accepted Summer's invitation to join them for dinner. Ryan had felt acceptance was necessary, and besides, he knew no one else here. Marissa seemed to notice what Ryan was feeling keenly because she asked him where Sandy and Kirsten had gone.

"They said they were tired," which was to say that they hadn't been enjoying themselves. Marissa's mother and Dr. Roberts had not come at all, pleading last minute and more pressing social obligations.

"It's a shame they left so early." Ryan looked over at Taylor and was too struck by how unhappy she looked at that moment.

"Can I get you anything?"

"I'm really not that hungry." No, she hadn't eaten much, but she had drunk more than usual." Another tray of drinks passed them by and again Taylor stopped it. Martinis were secured for everyone at the table and Summer raised her glass in memories of Thanksgivings past. Was Summer mocking Taylor by bringing up days and events that she had no part of? Ryan couldn't tell—but he knew that Summer was capable of such cruelty.

"You should really eat something." It was on the tip of Taylor's tongue to say something but Holly jumped in for her.

"She can look after herself you know—she's a big girl, isn't she?"

"This is a great room." Marissa, ever the diplomat, jumped in. She didn't know why she did, but at that moment she did feel a little sympathy for Taylor.

"I hate it." Even Ryan was surprised by the force of Taylor's words. "You have no idea how much I hate this room." The cloud lay over the table, and everyone at the table showed no desire or ability to chase it away. Holly and Marissa rose and excused themselves; they were going to get food. Seth and Summer quickly followed.

"You're so upset today."

"I'm so miserable right now." She drank down the rest of her martini and Ryan was shocked to see tears forming in her eyes. "I've been so stressed all day and you don't care."

"Taylor." He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm being awful but I can't help it. I just feel that you aren't with me today."

"I'm trying to be." Taylor said nothing for a moment and then asked him if he would go outside with her. He nodded and took her hand. They escaped and headed outside through a small side room that had French doors that opened onto the back lawn. "Why are you so upset?"

"My mother—she can drive me so crazy sometimes." As she stood Taylor seemed to wobble a bit. How many drinks had she had that night?

"I don't think that's everything." Taylor turned away from him and peered into the darkness—after a few beats she turned back to him. Her hazel eyes seemed so large now.

"You know why I hate that room?"

"No—tell me."

"My father wanted it built because he imagined all these great things for me—I was going to be the only child and I was supposed to be his little princess." They had been holding hands but now she let go of his and walked a little away from him. She was in the moonlight now and she looked almost supernatural in the dim light. "He had it built because he imagined I would have my debut down there—a private debut and a private ball on my 16th birthday. Private debut's were fashionable then and he wanted it so large so that everyone in Newport would come out and see me—Taylor Townsend, the most brilliant young woman ever to be presented in Newport." She laughed but it wasn't a happy laugh. She was mocking herself now. "I was supposed to have a brilliant 18th birthday party too. We were going to have caviar and champagne and the finest cooks in the state were going to come for the day." She turned around and walked up to Ryan—her face was furious. "Do you know how I spent how 16th birthday? My 18th birthday?"

"I don't know."

"Crying my eyes out. I had no friends Ryan—no one cared about me and I had to hear about how much a disappointment I was to my mother—to my father." Here she raised her hands in small fists; her face put on the expression of a fighter about to go into the ring, and if it wasn't such a tragic moment, Ryan would have laughed at the image of her, almost as if she was ready to take on the world. "My father thought I was a disappointment? He left me but yet felt the right to make me feel like a failure? And do you know what? I did feel miserable because I let that bastard down. I let him make me feel small." The last words came out in a fierce howl, more of a guttural cry then a well formed sentence and to his shock Taylor was beating on Ryan with her fists. He let her beat into his chest and shoulders for a moment until it became painful. He grabbed her then and pulled her into his body. She shook as she cried; after a few moments she seemed calm again. "Do you know we all had our debut at the same time?" Ryan nodded his head; looking back, he had remembered seeing Taylor, but at the time he had not noticed her at all. "Everyone was talking about Marissa and you and Luke. It was such a struggle for me to find an escort; none of the boys wanted to be with Taylor Townsend. My father had promised me he was going to be there—god what a fight to get that promise—but in the end he didn't show up. He told me he had a pressing business matter. Do you know why he didn't make it?" No, Ryan didn't know. "He had tickets to a baseball game and he didn't want to miss it. It was his son's birthday and he couldn't miss his son's birthday." She broke out in fresh tears and he let her cry until the storm had passed. "I hate those rooms because they mock me. I felt it so much today—all day. I hadn't thought about it in years; I thought I was over all that but I guess I'm not."

"It's never easy—coming home."

"Not when you're me—Taylor Townsend." He could feel her breathing into his chest. She seemed calmer now and they stood there for Gods knows how long watching the night sky. Besides the moon, a few stars flittered in the evening sky. When Taylor spoke Ryan was surprised by how small her voice was. "You know I'm jealous of Marissa."

"You shouldn't be."

"Sometimes I think you still love her." She pulled away from him now—to see what affect her words had had.

"I don't love her anymore—not like that."

"But there's love there." She sounded bitter. She was silent for a few moments and then looked up at him. "Tell me you love me."

"Taylor." He felt so cold. "I"

"Why can't you tell me that?"

"I" He couldn't find the words. He didn't want to lie to her and as he searched his heart he knew the words would be that, a lie. "You know I'm crazy about you."

"But why can't you love me?"

"I don't know how to answer that Taylor."

"I don't think you can answer it." A figure appeared out on the lawn, calling their attention momentarily away from Taylor's heavy words.

"Ryan! Taylor!" It was Marissa. Taylor could feel Ryan's short intake of breath.

"He's over here." Taylor called out to Marissa and then turned to Ryan. "You can have him." Before he could respond she walked away from him and walked past Marissa without saying anything to the tall blonde.

"Are you guys okay? We were worried about you."

"I have no idea what's going on." He looked at Marissa and sighed deeply. "She's really upset; I should go talk with her."

"Do you want me to go with you?" He shook his head no; the two lingered on the grass for a moment. Ryan did not know why he didn't leave, nor did it seem to him that Marissa knew why she stayed either.

"I should go talk to her." Marissa nodded her head and whispered a soft yes. In the moonlight they stood, facing each other. Marissa, while she was watching him in the moonlight, smiled and laughed; she did not know why she did it, she just did. A small chuckle escaped from Ryan and as the chuckle faded into the evening Marissa did something she had no reason for doing: she kissed him, long and deep, like they had kissed in the old days. Without another word or a backwards glance, she skipped out of the lawn, and back into the house.

Ryan stood there, her taste and perfume lingering on his soul.