Nadir did not know what to do. He had told Erik he could handle looking after Christine while the masked man went off to see the Khanum. He had promised he would not be long, dragging out his glances at Christine as she lay sleeping in bed. She looked so peaceful, and with only two roses left to the vase, he worried that any time away might be his last chance.
Now Nadir sat beside her, holding her hand as she slipped in and out of delirium. Her fever was the worst he had ever seen and part of him was thankful Erik was not here to have to deal with it. This might just break his slowly warming heart to see her like this.
'My father told me that when he went to Heaven, he would send me the Angel of Music.' She told Nadir, as he held her hand, looking painfully at her. Her eyes were distant and her smile lopsided. She did not look herself at all, and this concerned him deeply.
'Christine, please, come back to me.' He urged, rubbing small circles in the back of her hand.
'I wish for the Angel of Music, Nadir. I wish for him to sing songs in my head.' She told him dreamily. She went off, then, reciting some poem about a girl named Little Lotte and a bird she watched die. Nadir grew more and more concerned, wondering if he should call a doctor, but knowing there would be little anyone could do.
He was just about to slide off his chair to kneel and pray for her when a familiar shadow hung itself in the doorway. He felt a chill run down his spine at the way the man just stood there, unmoving. Looking up, Nadir could not make out an expression from the man, but he knew at least a little of the torture he was going through. This would surely break him.
'Angel? Is that you?' Christine asked, finishing her childish poem and looking at Erik.
'Yes, my angel. I am here; your Angel of Music is here.' He half-purred, half-sang. He used his most hypnotically melodious voice as he gracefully crossed the room to her.
'I have waited so long for you, Angel. I fear I will not be able to sing with you now.' She told him, reaching out to take his hand.
'I know. I am sorry for keeping you waiting, but I have had many others to see. But now, I shall sing only for you.' He told her, slipping onto the bed beside her, lifting her up to put his arm around her shoulders as she snuggled her head into his chest.
Nadir watched as Erik sighed, closing his eyes to the sweetness of her contact. He doubted the masked man would ever grow accustomed to her touch.
'Will you sing to me, my Angel of Music?' She asked, already drifting off to sleep.
Erik complied instantly, filling the room with the most unearthly music Nadir had ever heard. He had listened to Erik sing back when he had first met him in Russia, but this was completely different. Laying down a spell not of loss or sorrow, but of undying love and devotion. He wound the very air around his every note and captured the breath of his listeners only to give it back sweeter than before. He wove a tapestry of song and light and happiness, and he did it all for her. Though Nadir heard the music, he knew it was not destined for his ears. This was Christine's gift. This was Erik's heart being given to her.
The music danced and played about her so enchantingly that she felt herself floating on a cloud of the softest admiration. She could hear the most beautiful things, see everything Erik saw. She viewed the sky as what lay above, but he saw a blanket of the most luxurious fabric that changed to the most spectacular colours imaginable. Where she saw dainty birds flitting through the air, he saw delicate gifts of stunning skill and life. Everything was enhanced and beautiful. But the one thing that outshone them all was the swan he described, singing her last lovely song. Long, swooping neck of the purest white, elegant wings able to spread like an angel's. Eyes of the softest green. Elegant and graceful in all things. Her song was enough to make the heavenly host weep and grow jealous of her voice. That was why they strove to take her away. They longed to have her music, for it outshone even their whole chorus. This was to be her final song before she joined them forever, and every flower, drop of water, or being her song had touched wept at losing her. They wept as she sang, for this, her final song, was by far the most beautiful. She had given them all the gift of music, and hers would live on in them as unparalleled and masterful.
Erik looked down to see his faintly smiling beauty as she rested on his chest, her hand hanging by his ribs as he held her. Tears glistened on her lashes from the unequalled beauty of his song. He felt his own prick his eyes at the sight of her. She was so perfect, and yet she was dying. He had done everything he could, but she was still fading away in his arms. He cursed God for being so selfish, and then cursed himself for thinking he could have anything so beautiful. And yet, there she lay, holding onto him.
'My sweet Christine,' he cooed, running his fingers through her thick curls. 'Your angel is here. He will protect you. Your angel will save you.' He assured her. 'I will not leave your side. I will guard and guide you.' He promised as she cuddled further into him.
Nadir watched this sadly as Erik continued to throw his soul into her. He had always somewhat guessed what would happen with these two, but it was nothing compared to the complete and utter self-destruction he was witnessing. There was no doubt in his mind that Erik would not live if she died. Everyone on the planet would pay for her death, and then he would let himself sink into the pit of Hell as he died, singing her name forevermore. He would be lost to the world. It was because of this that he felt pity brewing in him. To have the only person who showed you any love or compassion snatched away by something you could not control was a cruel punishment for living. Erik had seen far too much hatred and torture in his still young life. It was enough to make you question your faith. Is there truly a God, and are they really so heartless? Could you still consider them kind and generous after taking something so precious away from one who lived for it? Without Christine, Erik's existence was void. If there was an all-powerful being up there, then certainly he could find a way to undo his decision for her to die knowing it would only drive another to death.
Nadir had never questioned his faith before. Even when his own wife and son had died, he knew down in his heart of hearts that this was as it was meant to be, but seeing Erik lying there with Christine, he began to wonder. So much pain, lessened by a few months of joy were not enough. Even if, by some small miracle, Erik did not kill himself, he would certainly waste away without her. He would finally be consumed by the darkness Christine kept at bay. He would destroy himself one way or another without her. And Nadir would have to watch and be left wondering if all of this was truly right.
For the first time, Nadir found himself urgently praying that Erik's cure would work. Looking over at the twin roses that bloomed elegantly in their crystal vase, he prayed it would work. He was hoping that somehow the magician would manage the most wondrous trick of all: cheating death.
Erik came into the room, a single red rose in his long, bonelike fingers. He remembered how the first day he had laid eyes upon his angel, the Grand Vizier –now dead and replaced- had commented on him. He remembered all of the insults that man had delivered to him and to his lovely Christine, but mostly he remembered her comebacks, her somewhat dark humour, and her ever present glimmer of trouble. She had a darkness too, but it was more of a grey than actual black, and she never acted upon it like he did. No, he had fed it an allowed it to grow. But her pure light had stopped him, setting him on the edge of right and wrong. He had taken that blade in his hand at such a young age he had forgotten most people walked along it. One move either way would send you plummeting to eternal darkness.
Wherever his soul seemed broken, she found a way to show him it was whole. She fixed him, made him better, more like the person he felt he could have been if life had chosen to be kinder to him. She made everything all right. And now she was lying, barely rasping at breath, needing him to make her whole again. She needed him. He repeated this over and over and over again in his mind, trying to make the words sound more convincing. She needed him. He would give everything, all he had to give, to make himself worthy of such dependence.
Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, he reach to take her hand, bringing it to his forehead, letting what little warmth she still had seep through the white leather of his mask. He felt her pulse through her thin fingers, slow and heavy. He could not stop the tears. Bringing her hand to his lips, he pressed her knuckles to them, giving her the first kiss he had ever dared place upon her pure form. He thought of the time he had come so close to her lips, just barely a breath away only to be denied. He looked at her now, resembling him in her thinness. She was still beautiful. She would always be the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. No one, not even his own mother who he had thought extraordinarily beautiful, could match his Christine. She was like an angel.
He felt the fingers in his hand stir and he hurriedly knelt beside her, reaching to just barely touch her face as she slowly opened her eyes and turned to smile at him. She looked at him tiredly, the light in her eyes flickering.
'Erik,' she sighed happily, voice just barely audible.
'Yes, Christine, I'm here. I'm always here.' He assured her, pouring all of his heart into his words.
She continued to smile, reaching up to touch his masked cheek. Her fingers strayed before he could clasp them, going to the edge of his mask. She pulled upwards, but did not have the strength to remove the covering. Erik paused her fingers, looking at her pleadingly before finding her request shining weakly in her eyes. He took a quavering breath and did as she wished, laying the mask on the bed beside her.
His heart could have stopped when she smiled at him, brushing his now exposed cheek with her fingers gently. As it was tears were still falling from his dark eyes, hidden deep within their sunken sockets. She wiped one of the salty droplets away.
'You've done so much for me.' She whispered, still looking at him with that unimaginably kind smile.
'I would do anything for you, Christine.' He told her earnestly. She broadened her smile for a moment at this before it felt too heavy.
Looking into him deeply she let her fingers withdraw from him. 'Thank you.' She whispered.
Erik watched her eyes close. He watched her breath slow and cease. He watched it all, but he could not think. Then it suddenly hit him.
'Christine? Christine!' He called to her, hands beginning to quake, breath coming in short bursts as he held her shoulder. He shook her lightly, then clutched at her arms as he pulled her to him while he moved to the bed. He kept calling her name, petting her cheek and looking to her eyes, waiting for them to open.
'Christine, no!' He roared. 'You can't die. You can't! I-I love you, Christine! I love you!' He yelled at her limp form, letting his grief consume him as he pulled her to him, rocking back and forth as he sobbed. He was beyond thought. He was beyond feeling.
He had felt pain, physical pain from a whip, emotional pain from losing Sasha, but this…this was true pain. This was the kind of hurt you do not come back from.
He sat there, rocking her back and forth as he cried, completely undone. Crying sounds too soft and sobbing does not sound painful enough. He was destroyed. Everything else in the entire world did not matter; did not exist. This, right here and now, this was all he knew. She was gone, and so was he. He heart no longer had a home, and his soul was no longer whole. He was undone as he held his angel in his rms.
Nadir, who, like almost everyone else in the palace, had heard Erik's cry, had come running and now stood in the doorway to her bedroom. He watched as the once tall and proud magician sat holding a limp Christine in his arms. He was bent over her crying as no one had ever cried before. He was beyond distraught. He was devastated. Nadir felt a bit of fear rise to his chest, only to be blocked out by complete despair. He fell to his knees, but no tears would come. He simply could not find anything beyond Erik's sobs to focus on. It was like the world had suddenly shrunken to just them. All lightness and beauty snuffed out.
Erik pulled her ever closer as his sobs rushed through him. He felt like he would lose all air in his lungs if he continued, but he honestly did not care. She was gone and the world was over. It was all for naught. Everything he had ever dared dream of, everything he had ever wanted in this world was gone. She had taken with her all he could have hoped to be. It was all over now.
From at his ear, however, there came the faintest sound. It was so small he almost missed it, but something in its softness brought itself to his ear. He would not miss this sound for the whole universe, because his revolved around it. He heard it again as it grew in strength. Pulling back, he heard it again and again and again. His heart was in his throat and he felt like he might just faint from unbelieving joy.
Looking at her, he watched with all of the awe reserved for the miracle that is life, as her chest came up and down in slow, steady motions. He held her cheek, his long fingers spreading up to her soft hair as he felt the faint puffs of warm air come from her to touch his sodden face.
'Christine?' Erik looked at her. Nadir, who had not noticed his friend had stopped sobbing looked up. 'Christine?' He grew more excited the more she continued to breathe. 'Look at me, my angel. Please, just open your eyes.' He urged, yet she remained as if in a deep sleep. Erik grew more frantic now, though not quite losing his awed expression. He gently shook her a bit, hoping to rouse her, but she remained unchanged.
Nadir came over, looking down upon the girl in wonderment.
'Erik, you've done it. You saved her.' He told the man, gasping on his own words.
'Why isn't she waking?' Erik looked up at the Daroga, slightly startling the man for his uncovered face.
Nadir quickly recovered the shock and looked down at her, placing two fingers on her neck. Her pulse seemed normal, he shook his head in confusion as Erik looked to him like a child who needed their toy fixed.
'I don't know. Best give her time, though.' He assured, not wishing to worry him unnecessarily.
'I'll be here, Christine. I'll be here when you wake up.' Erik told her, nodding encouragingly.
Nadir put his hand on the man's shoulder as he laid her down in bed, tucking the blankets around her with care. 'Perhaps you should go get some sleep as well, Erik.' He told him. 'I'll stay and watch over her. I will let you know the moment something should change.' He assured the nearly protesting Erik.
He thought on this before nodding, seeing the wisdom in the Daroga's words. With one last longing glance at her, Erik left the room and headed up to his apartment, though he doubted he would find any sleep.
Two days and Christine had made no improvement. She lay there in the stillest of sleeps. Nadir watched as Erik would come in for hours at a time just to stare at her, occasionally whispering to her to wake up. The Daroga knew it would not be long before what little sanity his masked friend held onto would be gone completely. He knew Christine would not have wanted this for Erik, but she was not really in any kind of position to reign him in. With each hour that passed, Nadir feared it would be the one to bring about Erik's self-destruction. Deciding to take matters into his own admittedly uncertain hands, the Daroga picked his words carefully.
'Erik,' he told the man, who was watching over her sleeping form like a hawk. 'I know how much you care for her, but I believe it's time we start thinking on what we should do with her.'
The Daroga had seen many glares from Erik, but never before had he seen one filled with so much despair and angry fear. It was a blue flame that flickered deep in his nearly black eyes.
'She can't stay here, nor would she want to.' He told the growing tiger that was his companion. 'The Khanum might try to have her killed were she to discover Christine alive.'
A growl issued deep from within Erik's chest. 'She would try.' He said, looming darkly over her form.
'Erik, you can't defend her against all of Persia. You have to get her out of this country. Get her somewhere safe. I can find a body to have cremated so that it looks like she did die. Until you can find a way to get her out, I suggest she be sent to my home. She will be protected and cared for there.' Nadir raised his hands defensively as Erik rose suddenly, looking like a wild animal about to attack. 'At least until you can transport her safely.'
Erik paused, his fury washing away as he looked down to her prone form. He would give anything to see her safe again. 'She would be taken care of?' He asked, trailing his fingers down her cheek caringly.
'By the same attendant that looked after Reza. I trusted him with my son, and I would do the same with Christine.' He assured, watching Erik nod with the reasoning.
'Very well. The palace should be completed soon, I suspect I will have outlived my usefulness then.' He agreed. Reaching over, he lifted the girl into his arms, smiling down at her with all of the softness of a flower petal.
Together, Erik and Nadir took the less treaded path to the stables, using many hallways and passages that Nadir had not even known existed. Once at the stables, just as the sun was fading in the sky, Erik found he could not let go. Her gentle weigh in his arms, so much lighter than it should be, her head nestled softly against his chest. She simply felt too perfect resting there. He felt his throat clench at the idea of passing her into the care of another.
'What if she wakes? I don't want her to be scared. I want to be there when she opens her eyes.' He argued, pulling her away from Nadir slightly.
'You shall be the first to know should she start to regain consciousness.' Nadir assured, reaching out for her.
Gingerly, Erik passed her from his arms to the similarly sturdy ones of the Persian. He stretched his fingers to ghost over her cheek, but he withdrew, knowing that he might never be able to stand losing her if he touched her.
He watched as Nadir carefully wrapped her in a blanket, disguising her body so no passers-by would chance recognising her. Erik look after them long after they had ridden away, long after their forms were blotted into nothingness by the sunlight. He watched as his love was transported away from him. Far from his far reaching gaze.
A/N: *stifles tears* I hope that lived up to your expectations. We are not done yet, so stay tuned for Monday's update. We have just a few more chapters to go.