Hell, it's been awhile since I last wrote. The reason this chapter is long overdue is because my computer's been acting up lately due to a dumb horse thing my sister's friend downloaded (don't ask). Obviously, it was loaded with malware and shit, but things are better now. Anyway, it's October now and it's almost a year since I started my Halloween story. I've actually written a few paragraphs for it, so believe in the impossible my friends, because an update is coming. According to the latest poll, 6 of you thought Spear Pillar is great but not worth fighting over, 5 of you wanted to fight the Pokémon Gods over it, 1 person thought it was just okay, and 1 person actually hates it. Well that was a good poll. And now, back to our feature presentation.
DIPLOMACY, HO! - PART 2
It has been a week since what's been called the worst diplomatic mission in all time, and the black hole was still around. It had stopped sucking things in, but it stood through the center of the castle, which impeded most people trying to walk through the castle. Other than absorbing anyone dumb enough to touch it, the black hole did nothing... which actually worried everyone. No one believed that it would be doing nothing for no reason. And so that's why the Ancient Minister was having leading space experts Samus, Captain Olimar, Meta Knight, Falco, and Fox inspect it.
"In my opinion... this is a black hole." said Fox.
"Thanks. We needed to know that." said Samus.
Captain Olimar sent out a Pikmin to walk toward it. Just before hitting the black hole and being sucked into eternity, the Pikmin suddenly slowed down. After crying for a nice five minutes, Olimar shared what he learned. "There seems to be some... time shell surrounding the black hole. It seems to be holding it from completely expanding. ...Saint Dane, why did you have to go?"
"You sent him to his doom." pointed out Falco.
"...Oh my gosh. I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON!" screamed Olimar before he ran away in tears.
"Don't worry, I'll get him back!" said Fox. He reached his hand through the time field and poked the black hole, which resulted in him getting sucked in. Nobody worried too much, because they knew I was probably going to bring him back to life. Plus, they were surprised that it hadn't happened sooner.
"...So, do you think Dialga's trying to hold Palkia back?" theorized Meta Knight.
"Nah. They both hate our guts, so he doesn't really have a reason to do that." said Falco.
"Maybe they're trying to decide whether they should destroy us, so they're holding it there until then." mused Samus.
"HMM... THAT IS A POSSIBILITY. AFTER ALL, THEY WERE SO COOPERATIVE WHEN THEY WERE HELPING CRESSELIA TAKE MY HEAD OFF." said the Ancient Minister.
"...You know, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for your bullshit." pointed out Falco.
"ACCIDENTS HAPPEN."
"And what an accident that was. Say, you know what else would be an accident? My missile launcher accidentally going off in your face." growled Samus, pointer her blaster at the robot.
"Yeah. I hope my gun doesn't accidentally discharge too." said Falco, also threatening him with his weapon.
"No guys! Let's try not to fight for once!" said Meta Knight, trying to calm down the hot-blooded Smashers. "Let's try to handle things peacefully!"
"HANDLE THINGS PEACEFULLY... AHA! WHY HAVEN'T I THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE?" said the Ancient Minister.
"Because you're a terrible leader?" said the pissy bounty hunter.
"Because you wanted to get the rights to Spear Pillar without paying a single damn cent?" said the pissy Arwing pilot.
"You technically were handling things peacefully until you got violent." stated the only reasonable person here.
"YOU'RE RIGHT... I SHOULD HAVE HANDLED THINGS 100% DIPLOMATICALLY. IN FACT, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH TRYING TO FIGHT THOSE POKEMON." realized the Ancient Minister.
"No kidding." said Falco.
"HMM... ACTUALLY, I THINK I HAVE A PLAN. FALCO, META KNIGHT, I NEED YOU TO -"
BANG BANG!
The Ancient Minister sunk to the ground with two holes in his back.
"Whoops. Our guns went off." said Samus and Falco in unison. Meta Knight just sighed and walked away.
The doors to the stage teleporter room were thrown open as the Normals entered, feeling a little afraid; Lucario was worried the most. They were on a mission, and the mission was not pleasant.
"So, after attacking them, the Minister actually expects us to patch things up and pretend it never happened?" said Dedede.
"Yes. No offense to him, but he's been terrible at making decisions lately." said Meta Knight.
"...How come I have to go?" whimpered the Aura Pokémon. He already had to face down Spear Pillar's legendary Pokémon once, and that one battle was enough to traumatize him. "I know I have to, but why me? Why just me?"
"Because you're a Normal, and sanity has its disadvantages." grumbled Falco.
"Yeah. We're always picked out to go on stupid adventures." said the penguin.
"Be grateful that you haven't been in the Trapped in a Mansion saga." said the small knight darkly.
NO. DON'T MENTION TRAPPED IN A MANSION UNTIL I REVISE IT THAT SHIT IS EMBARRASSING NOW.
"Can you stop talking about other stories and focus on this one? Please?" pleaded Lucario, who just wanted to get this over with. Okay, fine. Dedede flipped a switch and the teleporter to Spear Pillar activated. The group shared an unsure expression with each other before stepping into it. After a flash, they found themselves standing on the pads that lifted them into their fights in the middle of Spear Pillar. They carefully got off their pads when something immediately hit each of them from behind, knocking all of them unconscious.
"Wake up, prisoners!" yelled a gruff voice.
"Palkia, they may be invaders, but they're also our guests. No need to be rude to them. Cresselia, can you please fetch some tea?" said a more polite voice.
"Okay then!" said a feminine voice. The Normals all opened their eyes and found that they were tied to a pillar in chains, which none of them could break out of them. Yes, they can smash up robots if they wanted to, but chains? Forget it. They looked up from their bonds and ended up staring into the faces of Dialga and Palkia. Cresselia casually flashed in, carrying a tea set.
"Hello invaders! Want some tea?" offered Cresselia.
"...I'll have two cups." said Dedede.
"I'll take one. I need to calm my nerves." responded a nervous Lucario.
"...Pass." said Meta Knight.
"You can keep your damn tea." growled Falco. Cresselia made a raspberry at him and served tea to Lucario and Dedede (which was safely placed on their stomachs with bendy straws). Palkia glared at Dialga.
"Why do we have to be so nice to these guys? How come we aren't blasting them over the horizon yet?" complained Palkia.
"It's a courtesy. After all, we're about to destroy the Smash Castle." said Dialga. Lucario and Falco immediately did a spit take while Meta Knight and Falco had looks of horror.
"What! You're destroying the castle!" yelled Falco.
"Yes. We've all been sitting here debating on whether we should unleash the black hole or not. It took a tough time trying to decide because, well, even though most of you guys are heroes..." elaborated Dialga.
"...you guys honestly cause as much harm as villains do on a regular basis." finished Cresselia. She drank a little tea before offering, "Would either of you two like sugar?"
"Sugar is the least of our problems." said Lucario.
"I'd still like some." said Dedede. As his tea got sweetened, the conversation continued.
"We were still debating... until you guys came along. You were obviously ordered by your minister to attack us again, but you fools didn't expect us expecting you, so hah!" laughed Palkia.
"What? No! This is a diplomatic mission! We mean no harm!" said Lucario.
"Last week was also a diplomatic mission." retorted Dialga.
"In our defense, the Minister is a terrible leader." muttered Falco.
"Yes, he admittedly is. Look, that was in the past. Lucario came here to help bury the hatchet; we're not here to fight you." explained Meta Knight.
"And the rest of you are here why exactly?" inquired Dialga.
"Bodyguards, just in case you attacked us; fat lot that did us." Dedede paused. "This tea is seriously good."
"Thanks, it's my recipe!" said Cresselia cheerfully before getting back on topic. "And how do we know you're here as bodyguards? For all we know, you're backing the Aura Pokémon up to fight us."
"That... is reasonable." admitted Meta Knight.
"See? Even you admit it!" accused Palkia.
"You're twisting our words around." growled Falco.
"Well, we believe that you were sent by your minister to take us out, and that seals the debate; Smash Castle needs to be destroyed. Momentarily, I will be lifting the time field to allow Palkia's black hole to obliterate it. I will give you a few minutes to convince us otherwise." said Dialga. There was a fierce silence, which was occasionally interrupted by the sipping of tea. As Lucario draine his cup, he gulped. He believed that there was only one way out of this.
"Alright, if you spare us... we'll let you fight in our Brawls." said Lucario.
To be continued...
That's last week's chapter done. Now I have to work on this week's chapter... and the Halloween story. Joy. At least tomorrow's Friday. There will be no poll this week, in honor of Shinjiro and Ken's mother. If you know what I'm talking about, I'm sorry I made you cry.