A/N: YIPPEE! I was able to update super early! I'm so glad I was able to, it just worked out really well because I got the plot all sorted pretty quickly, and the first chapter got done sooner than I thought! So thank you all for being so patient, please enjoy! (Warning: There is talk of mental illness and suicide so if you are sensitive to these things please do not read)

1 YEAR LATER

I don't know how it happened.

We were all having such a good year. El finally started getting the education she deserved, instead if being experimented on by scientists in a lab, she started being homeschooled by Joyce, learning about numbers and maths and letters and so much more. She's having so much fun, her curiosity running even more wild than before. She'd even started being able to manage her powers better, being able to use them for longer without becoming too drained.

Chief Hopper has been looking after Eleven too. She's been living with him for ages, he's practically her father now, which I guess kind of makes Joyce like her mum, since Hopper and Joyce have been dating for a little while now. They all seem really happy, and Will seems thrilled that he's been able to get to know El a lot better over the past year.

Dustin and Lucas have been going great too, they always come over for campaigns, which we can organise more often now that everything is somewhat back to normal. Since everything that happened a year ago. Lucas was even trying to teach El how to play Dungeons and Dragons, and she always seems so interested, so happy she can finally participate in something normal kids do. Well, as normal as kids get in our case, anyway.

Apart from being thrilled about making a new friend, Will has been acting so strange lately. His persona has completely changed. I feel as though I'm the only one really noticing, though. He's so much darker now, his choice in words and the way he carries himself is so much different to the quiet and funny Will we all used to know. Well, the Will I used to know I guess, because no one but me has really noticed.

Apart from now getting an education, Eleven has been happier than I've ever seen her. I get to see her everyday, and it makes me feel so much less empty just to see her smile.

But me, on the other hand, by the time I turned 14, I knew I was depressed. I don't know how it happened with everything going so well for everyone else. It almost feels as though, because everyone has been doing so well lately, over the past year, I've been drained of all emotion. Sometimes, I feel jealousy even. Jealousy for the fact that all of my friends are happy, but I can't be.

I just feel so empty, so broken, like I'll shatter any minute now. I feel so useless and so much self loathing sometimes the only way out, the only way out that I see anyway, is to kill myself.

I'd started self harming too, Nancy caught me twice, she started crying both times. It hurt me, to see my sister cry because of what I was doing to myself, what I still do to myself. But quite honestly, I believe I deserve it.

The pain. The self loathing. The emptiness.

But it's hard, because once you've become so accustomed to this feeling of sadness, it becomes easy to believe you don't even deserve happiness.

The only thing that fills that gap other than thoughts of suicide is El. She's always so happy, so curious, and that alone makes me feel so warm. Because if she's happy, maybe I can be too.

Even if I don't believe I deserve it yet.

The touch of her hand against mine is so comforting, and her eyes always seem to light up when she sees me. She's always happy to see me. She's the one person in my life that can do that to me. She's the one person who can fill me with so much warmth that even I don't have to force a smile.

But unfortunately, it's become a habit of mine, whenever I catch myself smiling, to stop myself. My friends have noticed this, all except Will, who keeps saying I'll be fine, that there's people who have it worse.

I try to tell myself that it's not really him talking, saying these things that only hurt me more. I try to tell myself that it's just because of everything he's been through, that he's changed a little, that he's just in a bad headspace, like me. That maybe it's just a phase for both of us.

But I don't believe that, not for a second.

That's this is just a phase, for either of us really. But it's the only idea that comforts me when things get like this.

I've been trying to teach Eleven about the merits if relationships, about boyfriends and girlfriends and marriage and whatnot. I've wanted ask her out for ages, heck, I've wanted to ask her out since the day I met her so long ago, when she was sitting soaking wet on my couch, scared out of her mind like a skittish kitten.

She seems to be getting the idea, and whenever we hold hands or hug for a little longer than usual, Dustin and Lucas always smile and laugh knowingly, which is one of the few things which makes me smile a little.

Even though I always feel so hopeless, I still feel protective of El. I still feel as though it's my job to take care of her, even though there are already so many people looking out for her.

I still feel like I have to keep my promise to her, to protect her, even if everything is over now. I sometimes even feel a little bit less like a worthless piece of dirt when Eleven makes it obvious that my touch calms her, like when I hold her a little tighter during a thunder storm, or squeeze her hand a little harder when she's reminded of her days in that place.

Sometimes I don't always feel terrible.

But even I get scared sometimes. Sometimes I'm scared I'll lose her, sometimes I'll wake up crying in the middle of the night because I had a nightmare of her dying in my arms again, being even less comforted by the idea of her no longer sleeping in the fort I built for her, like when we first met.

Most nights, I hope I'll die, I hope I won't have to wake up to find her no longer by my side, until I have to meet the sun again in the morning, most mornings being greeted by her smile as she comes through my front door t join us for breakfast like she has always been for the past year.

She asked Hopper if she'd be able to join us for breakfast every morning, since she'd have to wait until after school to see me again. She also argued that because we all meet up at Will's house in the morning to ride to school together now anyway, it would just be easier to ride to Will's with me instead of being dropped off by Hopper, so that she can be homeschooled by Joyce.

I just thought it was sweet that she couldn't wait to see me.

But, despite how happy she makes me, when she isn't around...

I just feel empty.

A/N: So that was the first chapter of Part 2, I hope you guys enjoyed it! It's a lot darker, so I'm really sorry about that. It was emotionally really had for me to write because I guess I was trying to pour a lot of myself into Mike. But don't worry, this is all necessary to the plot, and I have big bIG BIG THINGS planned! So please leave me heaps of comments and thank you all for being so patient, I'm so grateful for all of your support! I'll see you all soon for the second chapter! xx