I'm really trying to catch up today! But tumblr isn't helping much! I'll (hopefully) update twice tomorrow, and then I believe I will be caught up! And I promise that this will be the last non-serious one-shot! Even before the last chapter, I was inspired to do this because how it so hilariously combines with this children's story, "The Ginger-Bread Man"

Once upon a time, there were mean men named Marat and Danton, who lived in Paris near the river. Danton and Marat were blood-thirsty, so they decided to chop off aristos' heads. They created a machine called the guillotine, with a sharp blade to do their dirty work.

But unbeknownst to them, through creating the guillotine, they had created an adversary. He was full of pluck and courage, dashing bravery and incredible wit.

After the first few heads had been chopped off, their antagonist saved an aristo and somehow managed to get through Marat's grasp.

And as he ran away, a brief echo was heard in their ears, "Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!"

That shout caused Marat, who was a greasy man, to slip and fall on his butt in his bathtub.

On another day, Danton took a bribe from an Englishman who wanted to talk peace, but soon, their letters were published in the newspapers! At the end of the article, there was a note from the contributor.

It said: I've escaped Marat, and I can escape you to! Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!

That caused clumsy, fat Danton to fall into his own device and lose his own head!

The Scarlet Pimpernel continued to go on adventures and met a woman named Theresia Cabarrus. She swung her hips and said, "Hello" in a sultry French voice, "You're not so bad on the eyes..."

But the hero replied, "I've escaped evil men called Marat and Danton, and I will escape you too! Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!"

So Theresia snapped her fingers, "Oh pooh! I will have to go marry Tallien now."

So the Pimpernel continued to escape the grasp of his enemies in France including a man named Pierre Adet.

"I am Pierre-Adet! And I will kidnap Yvonne Dewhurst because I love revenge!"

"Wait, I thought...I thought you were called Martin-Roget?"

"That's a cover name for myself! That way, Yvonne doesn't know what hit her!"

"Well, you did just tell me."

And at that Martin-Pierre-Roget-Adet realized his problem. "I am going to kill you though."

But the hero replied, "I've escaped that temptress Theresia Cabarrus, greasy Marat and fat Danton, and I will you escape you too! Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!"

And he escaped, leaving Martin-Pierre-Roget-Adet very shameful indeed.

One of the greatest adversaries was Robespierre, who was even called a prophet at one point! The Pimpernel looked at his enemy and laughed, "You have so many people who are going to betray you, I'll leave them to it! I'm too busy trying to save people!"

"But I will kill you for saving them!" Robespierre exclaimed.

"I've escaped Martin-Pierre-Roget-Adet, the temptress Theresia Cabarrus, fat Danton, and greasy Marat, and I will escape you too! Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!"

Robespierre grew so angry that he took a pistol, aimed and shot. Fortunately for the Scarlet Pimpernel, he was really bad at shooting and missed, hitting his own jaw! And that is why guns are dangerous!

The amazing hero had defeated every last enemy that come up against him. Until...Chauvelin. He was a fox, at least, that's what the sources say. He offered the Pimpernel a ride on his boat across the Channel, which the Pimpernel delightfully consented to.

"You know, you will be more comfortable at the front of the deck. It's a better view too."

"Really? I had no idea. Thank you Chambertin!" The Pimpernel laughed and moved up to the front edge. But then the fox did what everyone expected him to do, which was to push him over the side and kill him. The Pimpernel already knew this was going to happen and planned for it, his yacht coming at the perfect time and jumped right onto the deck of his boat!

"I've escaped the prophet Robespierre, Martin-Pierre-Roget-Adet, the temptress Theresia Cabarrus, fat Danton, and greasy Marat, and it seems I have escaped you too, Chauvelin the fox! Follow and Pursue me, that's swell! But you can't catch me, I'm the Scarlet Pimpernel!"