21. Meetings

Rey stared out the cockpit windows at Batuu, feeling strangely nervous. She could only see clouds and gold – Leia said the planet's atmosphere was so thick and gaseous that you couldn't see through to the surface. Leia was piloting, because she said Rey was too reckless. She hadn't spoken most of the way there, leaving Rey to occupy herself with the few porgs still living on the ship and her own thoughts.

She and Leia had a very vague plan as far as finding Kylo. They'd discussed it, and even Leia hadn't been able to make a plan beyond asking around and using the Force. They'd had a similar gut feeling about where to land, but Rey wasn't even sure that was reliable. She just had to hope.

Not that that was new to either her or Leia.

Their descent was bumpy, but they met no interference. Leia wasn't bothered by this. "They're pretending they aren't here," she said simply, when Rey asked about it. "They don't have a defense strategy. This is a planet of runaways and refugees, so they defend themselves by hiding."

"How are we supposed to find anyone then?" Rey asked.

"They're not going to go on full lockdown over this. Everyone in the galaxy knows this ship."

Rey just took Leia's word for it. She didn't understand the politics of these things and she was still figuring out what kind of terms the Resistance was on with most of the galaxy. Leia could worry about the technical stuff – Rey just wanted to see Kylo.

Rey ended up having to actually land the Falcon, as Leia proved to be bad at that part, so Rey maneuvered the freighter down into an open field and set them down perhaps… rougher than she had intended. Still, it was better than Leia could have done and the ship wasn't damaged, so she counted it a win.

She got her staff and her knapsack from the compartment she'd placed them in, then they both left the Falcon. Leia didn't bring anything with her but a blaster, which Rey didn't understand. That was such a risk, carrying no food or supplies. How did anyone do that? Thankfully, Rey was carrying enough for them both until they could buy some more. Leia, she knew, at least kept credits on her – but Rey had a few items they could trade, failing that.

There was a small town nearby, which looked large and nice to Rey even though she'd plenty of larger cities since leaving Jakku. It was made up of crooked grey stone buildings, most not very tall, and looked as if it was crumbling in on itself. Around it, soft green-grey grass grew undisturbed, and beyond the town and looming in the distance were ice-capped mountains. Rey still found herself in awe of mountains. It seemed impossible in some ways that something that big existed anywhere.

And over all of this, something she'd never seen before but that enchanted her immediately, was the golden sky. The planet's sun was only a brighter round shape in it, and didn't hurt her eyes, and even the few grey clouds looked somehow magical. What would it be like to live under a sky like that all the time?

"Rey, come on," Leia said, and Rey looked down and caught the general smiling before she beckoned shortly. "We have to get started."

Rey nodded, then as they walked, reached out with the Force. She felt a little wary of the Force still, which made it harder, but she got a sense of the planet's life, of small creatures sleeping below her in the earth, and of something familiar. In this place, she decided familiarity was her best bet, so she gestured in the direction of the town. "We need to go that way, I think."

"I got that sense too," Leia said.

So naturally, they started walking. Rey couldn't help stealing sidelong glances at Leia as they went – she was wearing cargo pants and a blue shirt with a holster slung low on a belt around her waist and her hair in one simple braid. This was the first time Rey had ever seen her in something that didn't have a skirt and didn't look regal, and she finally understood what people were talking about when they described Princess Leia's fighting in the days of the war with the Empire. This Leia wore no jewelry and walked like she owned the world. Rey finally understood how this woman could possibly have ended up with Han Solo, of all people.

They didn't meet anyone on the way into town, although Rey saw some blue wolf-like animals watching them from on top of a hill. They had red eyes, like Kylo had said. The grass and earth under her feet was soft and springy. She still wasn't used to grass and was a little amazed by it – this grass was so long it went halfway up her shins and brushed her ankles. She had a sudden desire to start dancing through it, but suppressed it – she was with General Leia on a serious mission. They had no time for dancing in the grass.

It didn't take them long to reach the first buildings of the town, and Rey hiked her knapsack up higher on her shoulders. Thieves were common in every city, but in a place like this, they were likely to be everywhere.

She glanced at Leia, planning to say something, but Leia had placed her hand in her pocket defensively, so Rey let it go. Now she could see people, all walking with a kind of furtive grace, like cats. They were watching Rey and Leia, but not as if they were afraid. Some even seemed to recognize Leia, but no one approached them.

Rey, attuned as she was to the Force, sensed a small mind near her, and turned just in time to catch a little girl reaching up towards the opening of her knapsack. The child froze, staring at Rey, and Rey smiled a little because she'd seen dozens of children like her on Jakku. She'd been like this girl.

"Hi," Rey said.

The little girl blinked, looked around like she wanted to run, and dropped her hand to her side.

Rey crouched down, slinging her knapsack off her back. "I have a question, and if you know the answer, I can give you a few portions. Does that sound good?"

The girl's eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. "What do you need to know?" she said.

"Well, first of all, what's your name?" Rey asked. She knew that if, when she was a scrawny, starving child on Jakku, someone had cared enough to ask for her name, she would have remembered it forever.

The girl shifted awkwardly, and her weary little face lightened. "I'm Tess."

"Hi, Tess. I'm Rey. I'm looking for a man, I wonder if you could just tell me if he sounds familiar."

Tess' face closed off, although she still looked hungry. "We're not supposed to tell," she said warily. "We aren't supposed to talk to people. It could get us killed."

Rey glanced back at Leia, who was just standing a bit behind her, letting her take the lead. "Do you know who that is, Tess?" she asked, kindly.

"An old lady," Tess said snarkily.

"Well, yeah," Rey answered, trying not to laugh and not quite succeeding. "But she's also Princess Leia."

If Tess had seemed shocked when Rey offered her food, now she looked like she'd been struck by lightning. "She's Princess Leia?" she whispered, like she hoped Leia wouldn't hear her. She hesitated, then scratched her head and said slowly, "Okay, who are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for a really tall man with long black hair. He has kind of a big nose and a scar on his face."

Tess looked wary again immediately, taking a small step back. She wrinkled her nose. "Why do you want to find him?" she asked petulantly.

"It's important Resistance business," Rey said, internally wincing at how patronizing that sounded.

Tess scowled, like she knew what bullshit that was, but reluctantly said, "Yeah, I think I've seen him. I don't like him."

"Fair enough. Where can we find him?"

"I know where he lives," Tess said. "I can show you. But you should be careful. He's dangerous."

"I think Leia and I can handle him."

"Fine. I can show you. If you give me more food," Tess said slyly.

Rey smiled at the little girl, with her bony elbows and hollow eyes, and nodded. "Tell you what," she said quietly. "I'll give you three portions and leave some with Kylo for you."

"Is Kylo the guy you want to find?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think he'll give it to me." Tess crossed her arms. "I tried to steal from him once."

Rey froze, then nodded carefully. This, then, was the girl Kylo admitted that he wanted to hurt. She felt a surge of protectiveness. "Well, I'm going to be here for a while, so I'll tell you what. If you or your friends are hungry, you can come to me for food, okay?"

Tess looked down. "That's…" Too good to be true, Rey said to herself. She knew. "I don't know."

"Think about it?" Rey said softly. "For now we'll say three portions."

Tess nodded eagerly, and Rey stood up again, pulling her knapsack back up onto her shoulder. Wordlessly, Tess took off running through the streets, and Rey settled into a brisk walk behind her. Leia followed too, muttering quietly, "That was handled well."

"I used to be like her," Rey answered.

"There are a lot of children like that." Leia sighed. "That's why the Resistance has to survive. These people deserve to be able to stop hiding."

Rey nodded, thoughtful. There would always, always be children like Tess and children like her old friend Enric. Enric had starved to death, and Tess was stealing to live. But she wanted Leia to be right. She wanted the Resistance to help children like them.

She kept her thoughts open to the Force as they went through the town, but no one else tried to steal from her. Maybe recognition of Leia and the accompaniment of Tess made them seem less like targets. They wound through several back alleys, through one abandoned house full of cat-like animals, and past a bar until they reached the edge of the town again. Here, finally, the buildings mostly ended and the grass started again. Rey could see a number of squat, rectangular stone buildings, a few with wisps of smoke floating above them. Tess stopped in the grass and pointed towards the nearest building. "That's his house."

Rey sensed she was right. She could feel a tug in the Force, a familiar knowing – he was here. It wasn't like the bond, but she knew if she just walked to that house, she'd see him. Glancing at Leia, she saw from the general's slack face that she felt the same thing. Rey realized that this must be a terrifying experience for her. "Thanks, Tess." She opened her pack and dug through it, selecting three packages of food that she liked. "Here."

Tess grabbed them desperately, met Rey's eyes, and smiled just a little. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Tess stuffed the food under her shirt and ran off, leaving Rey and Leia alone at the edge of the town with their emotions. Rey glanced at Leia again. "Can we do this?" she asked softly.

Leia smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She looked so old. "I don't know." She met Rey's gaze, and her lips trembled. "Does he hate me?" she whispered.

Rey thought back to the way Kylo had talked about his family and his life, and she knew he felt Leia had let him down. But she also knew he didn't hate her. "No."

Leia nodded, and Rey took her hand briefly. "Do you want to do this?" Leia asked.

"He needs us." And Rey needed him. She needed to know he was okay, and she needed to be able to talk to him about what they'd experienced. So she took a deep breath and set off down the worn path in the grass to his house.

She felt vulnerable, somehow, like he was watching her. What if he was angry? Would he forgive her for coming and bringing his mother? Would he want to see her? What if it was all a mistake and he regretted letting her into his head?

Still, she pressed forward on the path, aware that Leia had fallen a bit behind her. She sensed that was on purpose. She wanted to hang back a bit herself, but she knew that would only make it harder.

She could feel him, so close, and she wished he'd come out of his house already, wished she could run straight through the door and be certain he'd welcome her.

And then that door opened and she slammed to a halt, her heart suddenly pounding audibly in her ears. Let it be him let it be him let it be him. Oh, R'iia, what if he hated her? She couldn't stand it if he hated her. She just wanted to see him, she-

He stepped through the doorway and stood staring at her. They were still maybe a dozen yards apart, but she still found herself fixating on his eyes. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, and while she could sense his presence, she couldn't feel his emotions. She didn't want to move forward. He was in soft-looking grey clothes and no shoes, a blaster hanging on his belt. All she could think about was the last time they'd seen each other. What if this was like that? What if they were both disappointed again? Part of her wanted to rush forward and grab him and hold on tight, but another part of her wished she'd never come.

Then he took a small step forward, she saw his mouth open, and that was when she started running. She didn't think about it, she didn't wait, she just ran. He took a few more steps and she knew he was saying her name and also asking what she was doing there, but she didn't think about it until she forced herself to stop, right in front of him, and look at him. They were inches apart.

He was all stiff lines and muscles, guarded and austere, but his eyes were softer.

"Ben," she said, simply. She wasn't sure what she was doing.

"Rey," he answered. He didn't seem to want to move. "You're here."

"I am."

"She's here," he said, softer, and she heard the undercurrent of panic and uncertainty in his voice.

"She wanted to come," Rey told him quietly. "She said we should."

Kylo stared at her as if he was looking for something, then nodded. Then he looked past her, at his mother, and Rey stepped to the side, glancing over at Leia, who had stopped a short distance away. She was scared, for both their sakes.

She saw Kylo flex his hand once, just once, and swallow. Then he spoke, his voice loud enough that it seemed to echo against the golden sky.

"Why are you here?"

A/N: I can't tell you how bad I wanted to write that they hugged and maybe kissed but that would be so OOC... I just wanted to. For the record, they both wanted to do the former though. My poor touch-starved, lonely kids.

I wanted her to meet Tess because I wanted to contrast how she and Kylo deal with the same situations. The thing about names is a big deal actually. I mean I have a customer-facing job and I wear a nametag and barely anyone ever notices, so it's like, the best thing in the world if people see my name and then use it.

I'll get this updated ASAP with some angst and maybe some hugs. Love you guys!