Chapter Twenty-One

= Be John Egbert

You are John Egbert. Which means you're currently absconding the fuck away from you pleasant date to investigate as to whether or not your good friend, Rose Lalonde, has just succumbed to yet another drunken misadventure.

You should have asked if there was going to be alcohol at the party. Any good friendleader would have done so in order to insure the safety of his friends. You mentally curse yourself for your lack of foresight. If you'd just been a little bit smarter, then Rose wouldn't be in this situation right now.

You jog down the steps and into the belly of the ship. It doesn't take long for you to locate Rose, since all you have to do is follow the violent sounds that only accompany a harsh vomiting session. She's down the hall and to the left, in the girl's bedroom.

Similar to the room you're currently calling home, it's lined with canvas cots. Although you have to admit that the girl's room is a few parsecs cleaner and better scented. You wonder why the trolls felt the need to divide the ship into girls and boys. If they don't differentiate between genders, what would it matter to them if you all slept in the same room?

Maybe Rose and Jade requested to have separate living quarters away from the guys? Or maybe Karkat wanted to try and keep you and Dave from hooking up with any troll girls? If that's really his goal, then he's done a shit job of it so far. He should have known that a few walls and a verbal warning wouldn't have been enough to prevent interspecies relationships.

Anyways, you step into the girl's room to find Rose kneeling on the floor, leant over a plastic box and heaving the contents of her stomach into its depths like a runaway fire hose. Kanaya is standing awkwardly off to the side, a little unsure about what to do by the looks of it.

"Hey, uh." You wave towards her. "Is everything alright?

Kanaya's head snaps to you in surprise. She didn't notice you come in apparently. For a fraction of a second, her pretty face twists with annoyance before finally settling on a thin, tight-lipped frown.

"Yes, Rose just felt a little ill." She says calmly. "A little too much of the Faygo I'm afraid."

"Oh yeah. Did you know it had alcohol in it?" You ask. "Aradia just told me it did."

Kanaya opens her mouth to respond, but Rose suddenly pulls her head out of the box.

"Who is that?" She rasps over her shoulder. "Is that you, John?"

"Um, yes?" You take a step forward. "How are you feeling, Rose?"

"Come here." She doesn't answer your question, but throws her hand back, palm up, waiting for you to take it.

You look at Kanaya and shrug, while she continues to frown, then cross the rest of the distance to Rose's side. Kneeling down next to your friend you take her hand gently in yours. Her skin is hot and you wonder if she's either just throwing up because she can't hold her alcohol or if she's really sick.

"Do you, um… need anything?" You ask the parts of Rose that aren't buried in the box.

"Water would be nice."

"I'll get it." Kanaya says, quickly turning on her heel and striding towards the door determinedly.

You hope that she returns soon. The last time you were alone with a drunken Lalonde was incredibly awkward and confusing. You watch Rose wretch again, before reaching up with her free hand to tuck her blonde strands behind her ear. It's futile though, the locks tumble down again around her face.

"Here." You slide your hand out of hers to collect as many of the blonde hairs as you can, before pinning them against the nape of her neck, out of harm's way.

"Thanks." She says, spitting into the box.

"Don't mention it."

Rose breathes heavily, shivering like she's cold.

"Promise me something, John."

"Okay."

"If you ever see me with any sort of alcohol ever again," She says. "Just punch me right in my stupid face."

You bark with laughter.

"Haha. Rose, your face isn't stupid."

You expect her to chuckle or smile a little, but instead she turns to you with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Despite her greenish complexion and sour breath, she still looks pretty cute.

"Do you really mean that? She asks completely seriously.

"Of course." You grin at her. "Your face is one of the smartest ones around."

"John… that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."

You snort with laughter and tear your eyes away from hers. Holy shit, who knew that getting drunk would have this effect on her? You'd encountered many things on your journey, but ridiculous, silly Rose Lalonde is probably the most stunning.

"Well that's actually pretty sad." You say with a chuckle.

"It is, isn't it?" She frowns and turns back to the box to spit into it again. After a while, she continues. "I fell down the stairs, John."

"Yeah, Aradia said that…"

"After I kissed Kanaya," She cuts you off. "I fell down the stairs."

And then she's giggling like a madwoman and reaching towards you with a shaky hand, grabbing a fistful of your jacket.

"Can you believe that?!" Rose grins at you. "Me. I kissed her."

You don't know what's so funny, but Rose seems to be having a ball at the thought of her smooching on Kanaya. Something heavy and large in your stomach rolls over and you suddenly wish that Rose hadn't told you what happened. You could have gone the rest of your life without knowing that Rose had… kissed someone.

Someone other than you.

It's not like you had that market cornered or anything. Both times that you've locked lips with Rose, she'd been incapacitated to one degree or another. It's not like she actually wanted to kiss you. It's not like you'd ever expected her to feel anything other than friendship for you. You're always going to be her goofy, dorky friend named John Egbert.

The block of lead in your gut rolls over again, crushing your lungs and making it hard to breathe.

You're with Vriska anyways. It's not like you could ever leave Vriska for Rose, not when you love your Matesprit already.

You do love your Matesprit… Right?

Of course you do. You have to love Vriska. You had sex with her, right? That means that you love her. You know that, you've always known that. Cameron Poe and Tricia Poe loved each other and they had sex. Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor were in love and they had sex too.

So you love Vriska. That's just the way things are.

You remember Vriska crying in Equius's lab and her defending you against Dave's Bro. You remember her killing you and stealing your shirt.

Rose dry heaves into the box, drawing you back to the present. You're still painfully aware of the heavy weight in your stomach, only increasing in density when you look at the soft curve of Rose's ear as her head bobs over box again.

Where the hell did Kanaya go to get that water? Fucking LOWAS?! She sure is taking her sweet time.

Rose is talking again.

"I'm sorry, John." She mumbles. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay."

"We were supposed to dance. I- I was… I'm supposed to save you a dance, remember?"

Oh… That's what she's talking about.

"Rain check?" You offer.

"No." She pulls her head up again to look at you. "Let's dance right now."

You're smiling again, despite yourself.

"I don't think that's a good idea at the moment, Rose."

As fun as it would be to stumble around the room, dodging cots and trying to keep her upright, you'd rather not attempt dancing with her in her current state. She looks disappointed… like, really disappointed. Like she might cry.

"Why don't you want to dance with me, John?" She pouts. "I'm a good dancer. I took tap lessons."

"Really? When?"

"When I was little." She holds up her hand, index finger and thumb about an inch apart for emphasis.

Tap dancing? You learn new stuff every day. You wonder whether Rose asked to be signed up for tap dancing lessons if her mother pushed her into it in some veiled, passive aggressive ploy to get on her nerves. You don't know, so you decide to ask.

"Did you want to take tap dancing lessons?"

"Yes, of course." Rose rolls her eyes as if you'd just asked a stupid question. "It was the most fun I've ever had without…"

"Ahem." A delicate cough from behind interrupts your conversation.

It's Kanaya.

"I have the water." She says, thrusting the cup towards Rose.

Rose takes it and drinks greedily, her talk with you apparently forgotten for the time being. That's alright though. You got the answer that you wanted. It isn't hard for you to imagine a smaller version of your Rose, gracefully pirouetting around on stage in front of a crowd of adoring parents and one particular alcoholic mother, half asleep in the front row.

"I can take it from here, if you want to get back to the party." Kanaya nudges you with her toe, snapping you from your thoughts.

"Oh…" You look from her, to Rose, then back to her again. "Yeah. Right."

You stand up and Kanaya switches spots with you, taking up Rose's hair in one hand and resting her other on the small of her back. You stand there, awkwardly staring at the pair of them for a moment. They're both really pretty, really smart, and really… just so similar in your opinion. You're having a hard time imagining a scenario where you fit in somewhere, not that you'd want to… because you have Vriska.

And you love her.

"I'll keep an eye on her." Kanaya is saying, trying to usher you away. "She's in good hands, John."

The bulky something is still in your gut, as heavy and powerful as ever. You know, somehow, that it will always be there, that it always has sort of has been.

"Yeah," You turn to leave. "I know."

The door shuts behind you rather loudly, but you don't really care. The strange music is still blaring loudly above on the deck and it's not like anyone is trying to sleep or anything. It just seems oddly deafening in the small corridor.

You might as well rejoin the party, even though you feel pretty spent for some reason. It would be nice to sleep, but pretty rude in your opinion. It's still Karkat's wriggling day and you feel some obligation to go back upstairs and celebrate with him.

A few steps towards the stairs and suddenly your path is blocked by something large and intimidating. Or rather, someone large and intimidating.

"Oh, hey Equius." You smile up at your friend. "Sorry, man. I didn't see you there."

You try to step around him, but a bulky arm blocks your path.

"A word, Egbert. If you please." His deep voice seems to vibrate the very floor beneath your feet.

He doesn't wait for a response before pressing a large palm down on your shoulder and steering you away from the stairs and further into the heart of the ship. You have to admit, you're a little nervous. What does he want to talk about? Is this some sort of weird troll ritual associated with the Mlpuia Jive called 'Beat Up the Human Kid Named John'? You don't think that you could fight off Equius even if you tried.

Eventually you come to a stop outside of a door you've yet to see opened, but then again you haven't really explored the ship that much. What's inside this room? Could it be a special place full of furry animals and delicious treats? That seems unlikely giving Equius's current mood. Most likely it's the place where cleaning up your blood will be the easiest.

"In here." Equius commands, opening the door and pushing you inside.

It's pretty dark and when Equius shuts the door, you're suddenly cast into darkness.

"Well, er… Equius, buddy." You swallow. "Is there- uh, a reason for all of this?"

A switch is flicked and a light bulb is illuminated overhead. Fuck, you had no idea he was standing that close to you. His suit is soaked in sweat, nothing new there, and you notice that he's chewing his lip nervously. The pair of you are standing in what looks like a generic supply closet, although the absence of cleaning buckets is duly noted.

"Straight to the point, John." Equius says. "What is going on between you and Aradia?"

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief. He notices your loss of tension.

"What?" He demands. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry." You wipe a little sweat off your brow. "I just thought you brought me in here to murder me or something for whatever reason. Gog, am I stupid."

You start to laugh, but trail off quickly when Equius lowers his cracked shades to glare at you.

"This is a serious matter, Egbert. I request that you answer my question immediately." He's seems one part anxious and one part angry.

You may be socially inept in the worst way, but you do have your moments every once and a while. Right now, you can easily tell that Equius has got the hots for your date and that's fine with you. If he wants to be with Aradia, who are you to stand in his way?

"Look, Equius." You try to put him at ease. "Nothing is going on between me and Aradia. We just came to the Jive as friends. I don't like her at all. I mean, she's cool and stuff, but I really don't think she likes me like that…" You pause for a second, thinking. "Does she?"

He also stops to think.

"I don't know," He frowns. "But you are saying that you hold no flushed feelings for Aradia at the present moment?"

"The present moment or any moment in the future." You shrug. "I'm with Vris… I mean, I'm not really looking for a Matesprit right now, or a Morial, or anything else like that. And I seriously doubt that Aradia is looking for any of that either, with me at least. You should still try though."

He looks at you incredulously.

"Who ever said that I'm interested in Aradia?" He says. "I'm a High Blood, and therefore have no reason to associate with Low Bloods such as her. This conversation is merely… causal banter."

"Casual banter?"

"Yes. Just pleasant chatter between two friends."

"You forced me into a closet, Equius."

"Forgive me for not wanting to be interrupted." He throws the door open and steps out into the hallway again. "I'll see you upstairs."

He turns to leave, but you follow quickly.

"Hey, Equius." You jog after him.

"Yes?"

"You should ask Aradia to dance." You say, then continue before he can respond. "Yeah, I heard what you said about the High and Low blood or whatever, but that just seems silly to me. If you really like someone that stuff shouldn't matter. It's what's on the inside that counts."

"But, John." He cocks his head. "Her blood actually is inside her…"

"Yeah, I know. Just give me a second. That was a bad use of an idiom." You rub the back of your neck. "What I'm trying to say is: just follow your heart, okay?"

"My heart?" Equius echoes. "John, that's ridiculous. My heart is an organ which pumps…"

"Shut up and ask her to dance!"

= Be Dave Strider

You are now Dave Strider. Good thing too... Or is it?

If you were anyone else, you'd probably be having a semi-pleasurable time. Hell, even Rose, who's currently coughing her skeleton up into a box, got some dancing and smooching in beforehand. You, on the other hand, are just sitting at this table, stewing in your self-hatred and regret like some kind of baby carrot in a Crockpot.

On a slightly unrelated side-note, you think that it's pretty bullshit that baby carrots don't exist in real life. Before the world was destroyed, there weren't people out there in little farms, growing little carrots. They grew regular carrots and cut them down into baby form. That's fucking lame.

Well, that's what Jade told you at least. That little green thumbed cutie.

Speaking of Jade, she's currently in the process of grinding on your least favorite person/troll in the whole universe. Watching them gyrate on the floor like a couple of hooligans to this bizarre alien music really gets your blood boiling. Why the fuck didn't you go and find Jade the second you heard about this stupid Jive? A lot of unwanted problems could have been solved if you were just quicker on the ball and maybe a little humbler too, just a little.

You hear Nepeta a few feet away, whining to her troll friends about what a shitty person you are. She's saying some pretty rude things about you, stuff about your mom and whatnot. You could care less though. Nepeta's never met your mom and neither have you. Also you're currently in the process of hating yourself and whatever Nepeta says about you isn't nearly as brutal as what you have to say about yourself.

On a slightly unrelated side-note, you guess that the closest thing you have to a mother is Rose's actual mom, or your ecto-mom, or something. John's ectobiological shenanigans really fucked up your family tree, which once consisted of just you and Bro. You don't know rather to slap John or shake his hand, so you'll just do neither.

Anyways, from what you hear from Rose, her mom is quite the piece of work. You wonder if Mama Lalonde and you would get along okay. Despite whatever Rose says, she doesn't know what it's like to not have a mom. You think it'd be pretty cool to have one though and that's saying a lot coming from you, the king of cool.

A high-pitched peal of laughter draws you up from the salty depths of heavy musing. Jade is giggling like a lunatic in Karkat's arms as they spin around in some complicated figure eight shape. Karkat looks slightly less angst ridden than usual and just sitting here, watching them be sort of happy together, causes that boiling hot blood to cool a little.

Maybe Jade deserves to be happy with Vantas for a little while? She sure as hell didn't have much human contact growing up on that island with her ancient Grandpa and mysterious dog, Bec, let alone human boy contact. Maybe Jade deserves to have Karkat and vice versa?

HELL FUCKING NO.

You stand up and suddenly a hand comes down on your shoulder, forcing you back into your seat.

"Trust me, Bro." John says, plopping down next to you. "You don't want to do that."

"Do what?" You snap at him.

"You were about to run over there and ruin their night." He replies, with a nod towards Jade and Karkat.

"Pshhhh." You wave off the gross accusation and add another: "Pssshhhhhhh." For good measure.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." John chuckles. "Listen, you aren't going to look like the good guy if you just run in there and break them up."

"Well what do you suggest exactly?" You notice that your level of snark has risen to new heights, probably due to over-exposure to your ecto-sister. You decide to tone it down a bit, since John's really only trying to help.

"You could wait for them to finish a dance," He explains. "Then swoop in, apologize for being a dick, and then politely ask Jade to dance with you."

Oh, really now. How can John possibly think that it's that simple?

"How can you possibly think that it's that simple?" You ask.

"Because it is. Jade doesn't hold a grudge. You know that. She most likely just wants to forgive and forget as quickly as possible. The sooner things get back to normal between you two, the better."

"What about Vantas?"

You doubt that Karkat will be as quick to 'forgive and forget' and judging by the look on John's face, he's probably thinking the same thing. You don't know whether to be pleased that you stumped John, or disappointed that he doesn't have a solution to that particular problem.

John looks down the length of the table, where the troll girls, Terezi, Aradia, and your date Nepeta, are chatting. An imaginary light bulb illuminates over his head.

"Just leave it to me." He says with a grin and then turns to someone sitting on his other side, whose presence you hadn't noticed until now. "Alright Equius, it's time to rock n' roll."

The large, high-blooded troll looks a little nervous.

"I don't know, John." He says. "I think that maybe I shouldn't…"

"Nonsense!" John cuts him off and jumps to his feet, grabbing Equius by the arm and hauling him towards the girls. "I'm making this happen."

Not wanting to miss the excitement, but wanting to maintain your cool pretense of indifference, you sigh, reluctantly climb to your feet, and follow your best friend and Equius.

"Hey there, uh… ladies." John says, smothering the girls in James Bond levels of smooth. "How's it going?"

"Hello, John." Aradia says with a small smile. "We're good. How's Rose holding up?"

"She's fine, just a little too much to drink."

Dammit! Once again you've managed to miss an episode of 'Drunk Lalonde' starring Rose, missing out on a great time and a veritable treasure trove of teasing material. Oh well, next time.

"Some people just aren't cut out for life in the fast lane!" Terezi cackles, rocking back and forth in her chair. She's obviously had her fair share of Faygo. "What color was her puke?"

"It was red." John says, wrinkling his nose at the memory. Terezi snickers and John continues. "Anyways, I have an idea: let's not talk about that anymore."

"Why not?" Nepeta chimes in. "It's purrrty funny. On a scale of one to ten, how green was her face?"

"I bet it was a solid forty-two!" Terezi shrieks with laughter.

"Forty-two isn't between one and ten." John reprimands. "And it isn't funny. Anyone could have gotten sick."

"Your right." Terezi says. "But it was flawless, little Rose, therefore it's hilarious."

"I know, right?" Nepeta giggles. "Just imagine her." The cat girl mimes coughing up a hair ball and Terezi cackles loudly again.

John's eyebrows knit and you can tell that he's getting upset. That's interesting. You've never seen John angry before. Half of you wants to see him blow his lid, but the other half, the best friend half, wants to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand.

You open your mouth to speak, but someone beats you to it.

"I'm actually glad you came back, John." Aradia blurts, eyeing him and the other troll girls warily. "I wanted to ask if I could dance with Nepeta for a bit."

John does a double take at his partner, all signs of anger giving way to confusion.

"What?" He asks.

"Can I dance with Nepeta?"

"Uh, yeah… of course. You don't even have too…" John trails off, shoots a quick glance at Equius, before looking at Aradia, and finally at Nepeta. "You know, actually I was wondering if I could dance with Nepeta."

Everyone looks stunned at John's words. Particularly Nepeta herself.

"Re… Really, Johnkitty?" Nepeta asks, her large eyes glowing.

"Sure, why not." You're probably the only one who notices how unenthused John is by the idea.

"Okay, well that's fine with me." Aradia says and then stands up. "I think I'd better go to bed then."

John looks at Equius, fixing the troll with a glare that very plainly says: 'Do it now, or else forever keep your peace!'.

"Aradia!" Equius booms loud enough to wake up consorts on the ground far below. "Would you like to dance with me!"

Everyone winces at his voice, even Jade and Karkat seem to pause to investigate the thunderous disturbance. Aradia blinks at him for a moment.

"Alright." She says with a shrug.

Equius grins, sweats some more, and takes Aradia's hand to lead her out onto the deck. It's kind of sweet, if you're into that kind of saccharine bullshit. John did his part, occupying Nepeta and pairing up his date with Equius. He isn't done yet though, by the looks of it.

"Terezi." He says. "You should go dance with Karkat."

You can't see the blind girl's eyes, but you're pretty sure she's blinking in surprise, much like Aradia was scant seconds ago.

"Pshhhh." She snorts. "Karkat doesn't want to dance with me. Not when he has his head halfway up Harley's skirt."

You look over your shoulder to make sure that Terezi is just exaggerating and not being literal. Thankfully it's the former, or else you would have had to beat some troll ass.

"Oh, no." John says. "Karkat says that after this song, he totally wants to dance with you."

"Shut up, Egbert." Terezi frowns at the table. "Karkat doesn't like me anymore."

"Yeah he does! He said that you were a Miss Hottie... ness, and that he would like to go out with you for texting and scones."

FACE PALM COMBO x1

You slap your palm against your forehead with an audible smack. John obviously hasn't done anything like this before, like… ever. No one in their right mind would ever take John's words as anything close to fact. They'd have to be completely…

"Really?!" Terezi's face lights up considerably. "Why didn't you say so!"

Without waiting for the song to end, she jumps to her feet and races over towards Jade and Karkat. You really hope that John's meddling doesn't come back to haunt him. His intentions are good, despite his lack of tact.

"Come on, Johnkitty!" Nepeta leaps up and grabs John's sleeve. "Let's Jive like a couple of wildcats!"

As your best friend is dragged away. He shoots you a look similar to the one he gave Equius earlier. You get the message.

You turn around to see that Terezi has managed to pry Karkat away from Jade and is now sweeping him across the floor like an old mop. Jade is now alone. Your chance has come. You have to do this. It's now or never.

LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

= Be Jade Harley

You are now Jade Harley. Now dance, fucker, dance. Like you never had a chance!

Man, you hate that song. You wish it wasn't so damn catchy.

You continue to hum that atrocious Offspring song as you stand alone, having lost your partner to one Terezi Pyrope. Karkat doesn't look too pleased with the sudden change in ladies, but you're more than happy to share your date. It's only common courtesy, after all.

So far this evening, you've had a pretty good time with Karkat. You'd never have thought that he'd be one for casual conversation. Every interaction you've had with him before tonight had either consisted of him yelling at you, bringing forth disturbing information, or bossing you around like some queen bee in a hive full of little bees.

You are a little bee. It is you.

However, as previously stated, Karkat has been nothing but amiable tonight. It's actually a little disconcerting. When he had first asked you to the dance, you'd said 'yes' simply because it seemed like the right thing to do. You surely didn't want to show up to this shindig alone and you seriously doubted that Dave would be able to go with you. He'd most likely already be snatched up by some lucky lady before you could even open your mouth. Seriously, that guy is like the coolest of the cool. The most desirable bachelor in the universe. The biggest, fattest, nastiest PIECE OF TRASH!

Your entire relationship with Dave just seems like one big metaphorical rollercoaster. One second you're wondering what your kids would look like (you can thank Karkat's stupid shipping chart for those fantasies), and then the next second you're wanting to blow a hole in his head with a flintlock pistol.

"Stupid hormones." You mutter under your breath as you watch Karkat being used and abused by Terezi. "Being a girl sucks."

You're starting to think that you should head back over to the table for a much needed break when there's a light tap on your shoulder. It's Dave 'speak of the devil' Strider

"I have to agree with you there." He says with a smirk. "Menstruations, painful child birth. Being a girl does suck."

"Is that really how you're going to apologize?" You cross your arms over your chest.

His smirk falters.

"I, uh… no. That was a shit thing to say. Let's start that again, okay?" He walks backwards, says something that sounds like 'doodle doodle doodle do', and then taps your shoulder once more.

"Hey, Harley." He says with a second smirk.

"What the fuck was that?" You bite your tongue. You will not laugh at him.

"That was me going back in time so that I can re-apologize."

"What was the 'doodle doodle doodle do' part?"

"That was me talking backwards."

You snort with laughter in a completely unattractive way. You win this round, Strider. Damn you!

"Nice," You giggle. "You do know that you can actually travel through time, right?"

"Yeah," He shoves his hands in his pockets. "But where's the fun in that?"

"Fun?" You repeat with mock incredulity. "Since when did you ever do anything that wasn't buried under layers and layers of irony just for fun?"

"What can I say? You've warmed my satirical, little, icy heart." He holds out his hand. "Are you busy right now?"

You tap your chin with a fingernail for a moment.

"Nope. Not at the moment."

"Cool." He smiles, actually smiles. "Then can I have this dance?"

You almost want to deny him, so that he'll be pressured into showering you with more of those tiny smiles. However, both of you know that he's already won. He won a long time ago, fighting on the deck of a golden ship, holding you close in a cave while oily rain fell around you, carrying you for miles, and cooking the worst mushroom stew you've ever tasted.

You take his hand and tug him close, burying yourself in his chest. He wraps you in those long arms of his and you can feel every knobby joint in his body, every sharp angle and skinny limb.

"You can be a real dick sometimes." You mumble into his ridiculous red suit.

"I know." He replies with absolute certainty. "I'm sorry. I was just… jealous. Of him."

You shift so that you can look up into his glossy, black, emotionless eyes. One day you'll peel back all those layers of irony and glass. In a time where everything seems more than a little uncertain, you know that for sure.

"Don't be." You say.

And then you're kissing him and he's kissing back and there's nothing around you but empty space and endless time.

= Be Rose Lalonde

You are now Rose Lalonde.

You are currently walking, sliding one foot in front of the other in a ridiculous zombie-like shuffle. At the present time, you don't remember anything past sitting down at the table to eat Beefgrub. Eating in the loosest sense of the word. You'd barely touched that bizarre alien dish. After waking up on your cot, still dressed in the beautiful dress Kanaya had made for you, you'd staggered out into the hall.

It only takes a second for you to realize that you've once again fallen prey to the slippery wiles of liquor. What is it with the medium and having great abundances of alcoholic drinks? Seriously, it's like every time you sit down to drink something you end up getting hammered.

As you make your way down the corridor, away from your dormitory, you notice that all the lights in the ship have been extinguished. Everyone has gone to bed. You've missed the party. A million curses would fly from your mouth if your tongue wasn't once again wrapped up in a fluffy sock. You need fresh air and water.

"Look at you, Rose." A voice slithers in your ear and wraps around your brain stem in a tight coil. "Worthless drunk, just like your mother."

The voices are still there, as if you needed to be reminded that you're never alone anymore, not even in your own head. It's hard to walk, talk, smile with everyone else when you feel like you're disability is starting to define you. Talking to Kanaya had helped but it was a temporary fix. In the end, it just gave more ammunition to the voices to use against you.

You close your eyes and move up the stairs and out into open night. The stars are too bright and the moon seems to be frying you like an ant under a magnifying glass. The deck of the ship is dissimilarly cold under your bare feet.

You've gotten the fresh air, chilled by the LOFAF winds. Now all you need is some water.

The stars move in sharp streaks as you turn blindly. You probably aren't going to find a fountain of delicious water on the deck of the ship. Your best bet is to head back downstairs and try to find a jug in the Alchemiter room. If worst comes to worst, you can always wake up Kanaya. She's one person you can trust not to laugh at you in your incapacitated state.

You stumble as you turn, but quickly regain your footing. A few more steps forward and your path is suddenly blocked by something hard and wooden pressing into your waist. That's strange. There wasn't a railing in front of the stairs before.

"We could have done great things together, Rose. How many times must I remind you of your wasted potential? Worthless drunk, silly witch, horrible friend."

"ROSE!"

Someone shouts your name, but it's too late. You've already sloppily clambered over the railing and tumbled off the side of the golden ship.

Cold air pulls and tugs at your hair and dress, sharpening your senses and forcing your eyes to snap open. Then you remember to scream.

"JOHN!"

You see white snow, then black sky, then white snow again. You're spinning like a fragile leaf in the wind, flipping and twisting feebly as you fall towards your inevitable death. Furiously you wrack your brains, thinking of a spell, an incantation that can save you. Nothing comes to mind, not that it matters anyway. You've left your wands on the ship along with your brain.

"Worthless. Waste of space. No point in even…"

Then the voices are gone and he is there. For a second, you think that you're still falling, but you aren't. Now you're flying and he's holding you to his chest like you're the most precious thing in the world, rocking you in the most gentle dance, and muttering over and over:

"I got you. I got you. I got you."

And you know that he does, not just because he's crushing you in his grasp, but because he's always been there. You know that he always will be.

John slows his flight and you guess that the golden ship is drawing closer once more. You can't see its bright golden hull though, nor the bright stars or blinding moon. All you see is a blue.

When you wake up the next morning you remember nothing of the previous night, except the bottom of a glass, a kiss at the top of some stairs, and a blue blazer.

END OF INTERMISSION ONE.

Well that's finished. Now we're getting back to the main plot. I have one other intermission planned much later, but other than that, everything should be straight forward from now on. I hope that all of you reading this story have enjoyed it so far. I've certainly enjoyed writing it.

Saw Guardians of the Galaxy the other night. Jesus, Marvel is on hot streak with these movies. They're definitely building up towards something completely awesome and insane.

Thanks for reading guys. You're the best.
- Mike