Hell. That was the best way to describe it. Being surrounded by walking corpses of which were only a few inches away from death, having the soles of my old sneakers melt and burn into the pads of my feet, slowly losing the ability to breathe as the toxic smog of the fire penetrated my lungs and polluted them, and of course the red flames hissing and whipping away at my skin as I walked on, trying my hardest to find areas where the flames weren't raging. But it was no use; not an inch of my old hometown wasn't enveloped in the raging inferno. After having seen countless people screaming hellish moans at me from the charred remains of houses, begging for help as they slowly cooked to death, and after my own body had been blistered and charred all over from the relentless fire, I grew tired.
So, I myself found my own pile of embers and smoldering remnants to lay my weary body down on. Yes, if hell truly existed, then this had to be it. I blacked out.
Not long after everything faded to darkness, I feel my body get forcefully lifted up from the coals I'd collapsed in. Strong hands hold me up securely. I attempt to open my eyes and see what's happening, but I feel too weak to do so.
"Are you alive?!" I hear a masculine voice ask me. "Please- ngh! Please, be alive." He sounds so desperate.
Feeling as though I owe it to him, I muster up all my remaining strength. I force my eyes half-open and stare up at the man. A middle-aged man with messy, black hair holds me in his arms. His hair, along with his sparse facial scruff, is singed in multiple spots, graying the dark follicles. Alongside the singed hair, he looks similar to me in that he has burns covering his face and neck. Upon my eyes meeting his, the dire worriedness within his irises dissipates and they begin dampening with tears.
"Thank goodness… you're alive." He murmurs, sounding genuinely happy. "I did it, I found someone."
If I could talk, I'd be screaming at him to drop me and hurry and get the hell out of here. You… idiot. What are you doing? The fire is still raging everywhere. It's too late for me, save yourself. I try to convey these thoughts with my eyes, but it's no use. I fail to manage keeping them even half-open as they slowly shut again, this time for good.
I feel strokes of heat waft over my body when occasional flames lick me as I pass. The man has begun running to some unknown location, with me in tote. Embers or specks of debris will sometimes pelt my face as he quickly rushes throughout the burning city. Even being only semi-aware of my surroundings, I can tell we're moving at great speeds. It's as though he's moving twice as fast.
Eventually, I notice that it feels significantly less hot. As soon as I realize this, I feel myself fall and stumble across the ground, as the man who'd been carrying me collapses. As I feel myself slipping, I hear another voice, a short distance away.
"Ki-Kiritsugu!" Someone shouts as they approach. A woman? "Oh no. Darling, are you ok?" She asks, sounding terrified, only a few feet away from me.
"*cough* *wheeze* I'm… afraid not." The familiar, masculine voice tells her. "But, I did it. I found someone *cough* …someone who still lives." After a short pause, filled with the sound of the woman sniffling and sobbing, she answers him.
"Kiritsugu, he's in even worse shape than you. He's at death's door, any second now and he'll be gone." Just as she says, everything I hear begins to grow duller and duller as it's replaced with a steadily increasing ringing noise.
"Iri… give it to him." The man commands her.
"W-What? Kiritsugu I… I couldn't-"
"Please… save his life. This- this is my penance." A long silence ensues after he says this.
At first, I assume I had finally slipped away, leaving this life. However, I hear a faint noise that proves me otherwise. A high-pitched, radiant noise breaks out as my face heats up from a warmth being cast on it.
"Thank… you…" The man suddenly states in a much weaker voice.
Because of my curiosity and concern of what's happening, I somehow force a crack to separate between my left eyelids, opening up a window for me to see. It's blurry, but I can manage to see someone, the woman, extracting a long, glowing object from the abdomen of someone else, the man. This short glimpse is all I can manage though, as my eye drifts shut, and everything becomes silent and hazy. Just as everything ceases to be, and I lose consciousness, I feel a warmth break out in my chest and spread throughout my body, putting me at ease.
The next time I opened my eyes, it would be because I felt coolness dripping all over my body due to the rain pouring down from above. Had I survived? No, I surely died, but someone else seemed to have reeled my life back into this body. And it was her. A beautiful woman who looked as though she was a snowflake amidst a pool of lava. She was smiling down at me, her silky, white hair a mess and her crimson eyes filled with the strongest mixture of sadness and happiness I've ever seen. I was wrapped tightly in her arms, as though she thought if she let up on her grip even slightly, I would slip away again and be lost forever. Then she said to me: "You're so very right… To save one life means not saving another…"
As the woman hugs me, I cast my gaze to the side and look over her shoulder. The rain is extinguishing the lingering flames of the city. However, it's too late. Everything has been razed to the ground. I continue watching the depressing, heart-sinking show while the woman hugs me reassuringly for a while longer. Eventually, we hear the sound of a siren- what sounds like an ambulance's- approaching in the distance.
"D-Do you hear that?" The woman asks me, between sobs. "Help has finally arrived. Come on, let's get us somewhere safe and dry, hm?" I weakly nod my head, feeling too feeble to respond verbally.
The woman rises up from the ground, holding me tightly, and begins walking towards the sound of the sirens, away from the smoldering devastation. As we walk away, I notice something lying in the remnants, close to where she was holding me. The body of a man, badly burned in many spots, rests atop the debris. A content smile is on his face.
After only a short while of walking, the woman calls out, asking for help. I hear quick footsteps approach us until two paramedics arrive and hastily pull me from her arms. If I could speak, I would verbally protest and attempt to rejoin the only source of comfort I have left. However, I cannot, so I let the two men carry me off, watching as the woman quickly follows behind us.
We arrive at one of many ambulances lining the street leading into the broken-down remains of the city. I pay little attention as the three adults quickly communicate with each other while loading me onto the ambulance's gurney. Once I lie strapped onto the stretcher, the two paramedics quickly load into the vehicle, once occupying the driver's seat, and the other sitting on the bench in the back, next to me.
I look around, wondering where the woman is. I'm relieved when my eyes fall upon the front passenger chair, and I see her familiar silver hair over the corner of the seat. As the paramedic in the back closes the rear double-doors, the woman turns her head and peeks back. Her crimson eyes meet mine and, despite being broken-hearted and teary-eyed, she forces a smile for me, making me feel more secure.
The vehicle starts up and begins driving off, to whatever hospital it is that they're taking me to. Surprisingly, as I ride, I feel better and better by the second. The burns barely sting now, and I can feel my strength slowly but surely returning to me. The three adults talk amongst each other about various things during the drive; what happened, how the fire started, how we managed to make it out, what our relationship is, if we saw any other survivors, etc. I only half-listen to what they talk about, being more focused on coming to terms with the situation I'm in and what I'm going to do.
My parents, my home, my friends, everything- it's gone. How did this happen? I stop myself, being too afraid to even think about what comes next. I once again lift my gaze and focus it on the woman sitting in the passenger seat, her face turned to the side as she talks with the paramedic driving. When she held me… I felt at peace. Even in this horrid situation, just for a moment, I wasn't scared. It almost felt like I completely forgot my life was utterly destroyed prior to it. I wish… I could stay with her. Not just during this car ride or at the hospital, but after that too… forever.
The mistress Fate is a fickle being. None of the things she allows makes sense. Why is that disease and death exist? Why do murders, rapes, suicides, and kidnappings come to pass? Why is it that war, famine, and poverty still persist? And, of course, why did the tragedy that befell my hometown happen, just a while ago?
I pull my gaze away from the front seat and turn to look out the long, horizontal window on the side of the ambulance, behind the man seated at the bench next to me. We're on the Fuyuki bridge, passing into the other side of the city where the hospital is. The passing cars speed by, too fast for me to see. However, as I watch them, they progressively get slower. Time slows almost to a standstill as the next passing vehicle comes into view. A red convertible with the top down, giving me a clear view inside of the car.
The mistress Fate is a fickle being. None of the things she allows makes sense. Why is it, that right after me and the kind woman in this ambulance just experienced such a devastating tragedy, we must yet endure another? For what reason did the man, driving the car adjacent to ours, have to be drinking scalding hot coffee tonight? Why was it necessary that it had to slip from his grasp, just as he begun to pass our ambulance, and spill across his lap?
His hand yanks on the steering wheel and the car veers immediately into our lane. My head jerks around as his car collides directly into the side of the ambulance. I dizzily try to gain my bearings as everything shakes and spins, the sound of screeching tires blaring. Everything finally comes to a violent halt when the ambulance smashes through something and abruptly swings up onto the rear, making it stand vertical.
I at first assume we flipped on the road and ended sitting up on the backend of the ambulance. I look down at my feet, feeling my stomach flip as I'm proven otherwise. The rear doors to the ambulance hang open, revealing what lies beneath us. Nothing. Nothing for quite a distance until you reach the Fuyuki river.
I begin losing control of my breathing as I start hyperventilating, terrified of what I see. To make matters worse, the paramedic who was sitting in the back with me now hangs from the bottom rail of my stretcher, clinging to it for dear life. I struggle and pull with my body to try and move, but it's no use. I'm strapped onto the gurney and I'm far too weak to break free.
I look up to the woman, not knowing what to do and hoping she can somehow save me. She's already unstrapped her seatbelt and begun reaching down to try and secure me. The paramedic in the driver's seat, next to her, is motionless with his head hanging limply. She goes for the first strap on the gurney and skillfully, quickly unlatches it. As she struggles to reach down to the second one, I'm shocked to feel something pull against the next one down, the third and final strap. The paramedic is pulling against it, trying to climb up from the bottom of the ambulance, to safety.
"Stop it!" The lady shouts down at him. "Grab onto something else! It can't support both of your weights!" The man shakes his head in response, his eyes fearful and his breathing unsteady.
"There's nothing else to hold onto!" He yells at her.
Then, he removes his other hand from the bottom rail of the gurney to try and pull himself further up. The bottom strap he's holding onto can't support his weight. It unlatches and slips from his grip, making him drop from the vehicle. Before he falls down to the water below, he manages to quickly latch onto the bottom rail once more with his right hand. The entire stretcher yanks down. I hear the sound of metal straining as if it's about to snap. My stomach drops.
A loud snap sounds off as the lock keeping the stretcher in place breaks. The two, hanging ambulance doors rush past me as I plummet down, down to the water below. The broken gurney I'm fastened to flips in the air as it slips from the man's desperate grip. It twirls in the air as I descend, letting me face upwards. I see the woman, who'd tried so desperately to preserve my life, extending her arm down from the ambulance hanging by its front tires from the bridge, hopelessly.
"NOOOO!" She screams, with a horrified expression, as I fall further and further away.
I briefly hear a loud smack, and my body rattles, before I'm quickly engulfed in water. I slam my lips shut to prevent as much air from leaking out as possible, before using all the force I can muster to try and shake off the final strap restraining me to the deadweight of the gurney. I struggle and struggle and struggle, but I can't seem to free myself from it as I sink further and further into the water.
While I struggle in vain, I take a quick look around to check my surroundings. Relief floods throughout me when I see the paramedic, who'd unintentionally dragged me down here, quickly swimming towards me. Thank goodness, he survived the fall. I'm saved.
My heart skips a beat and my eyes widen in terror as a large object plunges rapidly into the water and slams directly into the paramedic, mere feet away from me.
"AGUGHHH!" I let out a muffled scream, unintentionally emptying out a good portion of the air I'd been holding in.
The bubbles subside and reveal a large, white object with a flashing red light, which I quickly identify as the ambulance, descending into the water below. A red streak trails behind it as it falls, telling me the man didn't survive it crashing into him.
With newfound fear and motivation, I grit my teeth and spread my arms to the side with as much strength as I can possibly squeeze out. I feel a brief resistance before breaking through, enabling me to spread my arms out and swing them down through the water, propelling me up from the deathbed I'd been strapped to as it continues to descend.
I immediately move to begin swimming back to the surface, but I stop myself when I notice the occasional red flash from the ambulance, further down. Wait. What if she's still in there?! Without even debating the possibility, I immediately turn around and nosedive down, paddling and stroking my arms through the water as quickly as I can. The heavy vehicle is descending faster than me, so I put even more effort into swimming after it in hopes of reaching it before it reaches the riverbed, however far down that is.
As I'm almost upon it, I swim past an object that floats up from it. I immediately recognize the object, staining the water around it crimson, as the unfortunate body of the paramedic. I avert my gaze and try to ignore it as best I can so that I don't grow sick or breathless.
Once the open, rear door is in my reach, I grab onto it and pull myself down, into the inside of the water-logged vehicle. I quickly continue onwards, grabbing onto whatever I can to pull myself forward throughout the inside. Once I reach the front seats, I see that the driver is still buckled in, still motionless. The passenger seat, however, is empty. As soon as my eyes confirm she's not there, I kick off the dashboard of the ambulance and begin paddling upwards to start my trek to the surface.
My lungs… feel like they're burning. I have to hurry up. As I'm paddling up, I take note of the bloodied body floating a short distance away. The paramedic's corpse… Instead of swimming upwards and away from it, I consistently remain at the same level as it as I desperately paddle upwards. W-What? What's happening?
I stop paddling for a moment. As soon as I do, I begin drifting away, downwards. No, no, no, no, NO, NO! I've heard about this before. It's a common warning they give regarding swimming in the river- or in any body of water, for that matter. An undertow.
I grunt and groan, bubbles bursting and rising up from my mouth, as I swing and flail my arms, trying to break myself out of the current and pull myself up. After thrashing my arms around for a bit, aimlessly, I realize it's hopeless. I'm a child who's run out of air and is already severely weakened after making it out of that hellfire, barely alive. I let my arms fall still and stop resisting. Maybe this is fate's way of telling me I'm not meant to live.
I slowly descend further down, allowing the current to take me wherever it's intending to. My ears continuously pop, severe aches break out behind both of my eyes, and I feel my sides beginning to compress from the amount of pressure at this depth.
Surprisingly, I still remain conscious. Despite my lungs being empty and beginning to fill with water, and my body pulsing in pain from the steadily increasing pressure, I'm still aware of what's happening. Perhaps it's because of whatever trick those two used to save my life back at the flaming city.
I eventually notice, after sinking for only a few seconds, that I'm approaching the riverbed. My surroundings are occasionally illuminated by the flashing light of the sunken ambulance, casting a soft, ominous red glow on the dark bottom.
I'm surprised when, instead of continuing to sink down, my body stops, having landed on something quite a few feet above the river's floor. I rest atop whatever it is for a while until my body slips through a crack in it and gets pulled down, courtesy of the strong undercurrent.
As I descend through the gap, and the distant ambulance shines a brief light on the structure, I see that I'm within a large, long object. What appears to be curved, wooden support beams line the sides of a central, long rafter above. It's reminiscent of the keel and structural beams of a ship. It must be the remains of a boat sunken a long time ago, the hull of a ship. The adjacent, curved beams all point down and jab into the riverbed, creating the image of me falling into a giant cage.
Finally, my back touches the bottom. The end of the road. My limp body falls and rests atop the ground, kicking up a small cloud of the river's dirt and debris. In tune with me reaching the bottom, my thoughts begin to slow, and I feel my time waning.
Having to die twice in one night… is just too cruel. If I knew I'd have to go through all of this, I would've preferred if that man had left me there to burn. Though, I suppose it was nice being able to drift along that current and end up here before the lights went out. This is a pretty interesting place to serve as my final rest, and I had a lot of time to think as I was carried away. I only regret… not being able to spend more time with her.
At this point in the memory, a strange feeling overtakes my body. I remember it before I even see what happens next. Have you ever experienced something that made you feel the tides of fate were about to turn…? Have you ever lived in a moment where the thought occurred to you "this will change everything"? That is the only way I can try to explain the indescribable feeling that this moment instills within me.
The light from the far-flung ambulance finally flashes across the riverbed once more. As my body has the life slowly flow out of it, and my consciousness continues to ebb away, I notice something above me during the brief, subtle illumination from the ambulance.
In the long, segmented, central pole of the sunken structure from which all the surrounding boards branch out from, about halfway down, right in the middle, is something jutting out, glistening. Seemingly as soon as my remaining moments of consciousness become focused on this object, it unlodges itself from the pole and descends through the water.
Time around me feels as though it stands still, the only thing moving being the strange sliver as it approaches me. Something within me grants the strength for me to lift my hand, void of feeling or sensation, up from the ground. The object magnetizes towards it as I reach up.
Despite feeling no pain, no sensation, once the metallic object rests atop my open palm, a jolt runs down my extended arm and an acute reclamation of my body takes place… accompanied by a brief, horrific vision. Coincidentally, in sync with grabbing the object, the ambulance flashes its light once more. Instead of a brief and subtle red flash appearing this time, the entire body of water is illuminated and colored a vivid crimson, giving the appearance of being submerged in a bloody stream.
In this moment, I can see- all around me- jutting from my body, coiling around the remains of the old ship hull, and coursing throughout the vast, glowing river- lines. That's the only way I can describe them. Bloody, crimson lines- streaks that are zigzagging and emerging from the most random of places. I can't decide whether this moment, this image of a bloody river filled with even darker and more saturated veins, is to be considered beautiful or utterly terrifying.
The ambulance light flickers off, instantly plunging my aquatic surroundings into darkness again. I lay, wide-eyed and confused, wondering what happened. My only source of light is the scrap of metal, clutched tightly in my hand, as it sparks and courses with a subsiding red energy. When the ambulance light shines again, no apocalyptic vision engulfs me this time. It's only the normal, unimpressive flicker.
I can't even begin to understand what I just experienced- not that it would matter, anyways. Holding the object bolstered me with a fleeting moment of vigor, but it's now gone. I feel myself about to slip away again. The object has stopped crackling with the red sparks and now appears as just a random hunk of metal, nothing to indicate the horrible sight it conjured mere seconds ago. Even after that, I suppose my fate remains the same.
Just as I begin to accept my demise once more, I notice something in the distance. Between one of the gaps in the support beams, I see something thin extending down through the water a few feet away, glowing. I immediately fear that it's one of the strange lines that, for some reason, didn't vanish with the rest. After staring at it for a moment though, I realize it's a glowing silver chord, as thin as a string.
It's a little, white thread…? White… just like her hair. Something inside tells me I should try and grab onto it. It's a pointless goal, however. I really, truly can't muster any exertion to try and move this time. I'm doomed to watch this glowing string until I close my eyes for good.
After thinking this, I'm shocked to see my hand, clutching the piece of metal, lift up and move towards the direction of the string. Huh? How am I…? I quickly realize that it's not my hand, not me, that's moving, but the shard I'm holding. My body begins to drag across the sandy floor as the metallic object tugs me along. I don't dare question it.
All I have to do… is not let it slip from my grip, and I can make it. I focus as hard as I can on my hand, desperately clinging onto the small, metallic lifesaver. In due time, it arrives at the string, acting as a beacon of light, before rising up to make contact with it. As soon as the shard touches it, the string reaches down and begins coiling around my arm. All the way to my shoulder, the thread wraps around me like a roll of gauze.
Once my arm is secure, the string suddenly lifts up, quickly pulling me from the depths of the river. My vision flickers while I rise through the water and my neck doesn't have the strength to keep my head raised as I'm reeled up. My head drops, and I'm forced to stare back down at the riverbed. The red light of the ambulance flashes weakly, one final time. My eyes widen in shock at the image it unveils.
Atop the sandy floor of the river, a significant distance away from the ambulance, is the remains of the structure I fell into. The remains of what I had assumed to be a ship. For just a moment, the dull flash of the ambulance's red light revealed to me what it truly is. A giant, picked-clean skeleton.
The area I'd fallen into, what I thought was the hull of a ship, is the skeleton's ribcage. From what I can make out of the skull, attached to the end of its long, winding neck, it looks like something from a museum- the remains of a prehistoric dinosaur.
As the remains fade into obscurity while I'm pulled further and further away, I wonder if that could truly be what it is. Because, I noticed something on the back of the giant, four-legged, long-necked skeleton; two long, pronged bones emerging from the base of the skeleton's neck, cutting at a bend halfway through and fanning out into three smaller bone segments each. I've never heard of a dinosaur that big having wings…
"*bleurgh* *cough* *cough*" I weakly sputter and cough as soon as I emerge from the water. A bit of the fluids packed in my lungs spurts up and out my mouth and nose, but I can only force a little out. I'm too weak to even cough it up. I try to lift my head up and see what it is that's reeling me in, the source of the glowing thread, but I'm unable to even budge. I stare down at the dark water, slowly growing further away, as the corners of my vision rapidly darken. For the second time tonight, I completely black out.
"Come on… come on!" I hear a feminine voice desperately plead. While she says this, I feel a pressure repeatedly push down on the area below my chest. What's… happening? "Please, please come back to me!" The despair in her voice pains me to hear. The force of her compressions on my chest gives me a sensation that tells me I'm about to expel the river water packed inside of me. I struggle to open my eyes as I feel the brackish water begin to rush up from within me. I feel something clasp around my nose as I manage to tear my eyes open.
The face of the white-haired woman is directly above mine, about one inch away. She's gently pinching my nose shut with her fingers as her face lowers down towards mine, her eyes shut. Before I can fully process what is happening, she closes the rest of the distance and plants her lips onto mine.
"Mm- MMMM?!" I yelp in confusion, into the surprise kiss. Just as she begins to expel breath forcefully into my mouth, I lift my hands and shove her away while turning my head to the side.
"BLEURGHHHH!" I profusely vomit out all the vile, muddy water I had locked up inside of me. "*COUGH* *cough* *cough* *COUGH* Bl- Bleuggh!" I lightly pound my chest with my left fist, desperately trying to force out all of the nasty water.
After expelling most of the pent-up fluids, I begin scooching back, away from the woman. I feel a raging blush begin burning its way across my face. It's ridiculous how quickly I transitioned from being sick to embarrassed. I keep my gaze averted, too nervous to look at her.
"Th-That wasn't because of the mouth-to-mouth thing." I quickly try to explain. "It was all the pushing on my chest. It made the-"
I'm cut off as a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me close, into a tight embrace. I hear the woman sobbing, worse than any other time tonight. I sit, motionless, in the embrace. After a while of her hugging me, without letting up, I lift my arms and wrap them around her back in return, unsure of what else to do. This prompts her to finally say something.
"Please… don't ever do that again! Don't leave me alone… You're all I have left." My lip quivers and my eyes fill with tears at what she says. For the second time tonight, I forget all about the scary things that just took place. I don't think about my childhood burning to cinders, that man sacrificing himself for me, or even the carcass of the gigantic beast at the bottom of the river. Joy washes over me and I simply nod my head.
"…Ok." I finally answer.
I look around while she holds me securely. We're on the sidewalk of the bridge, a short distance away from where the ambulance hung off and fell from. On the street, traffic is held up because of the flipped-over convertible further down. Some people have exited their vehicles and now watch the two of us from a distance, clearly concerned.
I begin to wonder where the mysterious shard ended up throughout all that chaos, worrying I may have lost it. I needn't look around for very long, as I soon realize I'm still holding it securely in my right hand. I inspect it more closely, now that I'm above water and have better lighting.
Judging by the way it's shaped, it looks as though it's a knife of some sort. Or it was one once upon a time, at least. One side of the blade is even flatter- sharper than the other. If it ever had a handle, it's long-gone now, leaving only what I assume to be the tang beneath it. Aside from very minor corrosion in several tiny spots, there isn't really any damage to it. The only noticeable blemish is a small nick along the sharp of the blade, creating a little, triangular crevice. I tighten my hold even further on the tang at the base of it, acting as the handle. I tighten my hold, to ensure that I never lose it.
Eventually, police officers arrive and get the traffic flowing. Following shortly in suit, another ambulance arrives to fill in for the one lying down in the riverbed. The woman looks down at me as it arrives, giving me a warm smile. Unlike before, this one doesn't seem forced. She looks genuinely happy, in this moment. The same as me.
She lowers her hand to me, which I don't hesitate to grab. Together, we walk hand-in-hand to the awaiting ambulance. For whatever reason, all I can think about as we walk away is how embarrassing it was when she performed CPR on me. …That was my first kiss…